There was something peaceful about night.

Peace in the silence it brought and the darkness that accompanied it.

They told me she was at peace, too.

But how was I supposed to believe them?

I couldn't.

I could no longer blind myself with lies. I had already spent my whole life doing that.

And I had seen where that leads to.

Closing my eyes, I quietly chanted the lullaby Kai used to sing to her.

It didn't help calm my erratic heartbeat or stop the tears from streaming down.

I had hoped it would.

I had hoped it would remind me that there was indeed once a time when she was happy.

When she would smile and the corners of her eyes would get crinkled in serenity.

When her pain wasn't so unbearable, when she still trusted me enough to seek my help.

But instead, it reminded of what could have been.

If I had been brave enough to not hide behind the walls just so I would hear her laughing.

If I had been brave enough to defend her, to protect her against all odds even if it meant I would lose the favor of my dearest brothers.

Because that's how it should have been.

They say having a twin is lucky. It's God's way of assuring you are never alone.

And, lucky I was.

I got down from my bed, the silence that would usually give me peace made me feel trapped tonight.

It was suffocating to be trapped in your thoughts.

But somehow it made me feel a little more closer to her.

Was that how it was for her? To be trapped in her own mind, not getting a moments rest.

Was it this hard or was it much worse?

I found myself in front of Aylin's room, my hand hovering over the doorknob, contemplating on whether or not I should go inside.

Somehow, it felt like a forbidden sanctuary, a place that only belonged to her where I had no right to intrude without permission.

But my need for answers overrided it and I pushed the door open.

I turned the lights on, my eyes instantly shut close from the sudden assault of brightness.

"The fuck?"

For a moment my heart stopped. A part of me clung to the ridiculous idea that it was Aylin who had spoken the words of protest.

I shouldn't have been disappointed when my eyes fell on Noah's half awake form in the bed instead of Aylin.

But my heart still tore apart when I wasn't met with hazel eyes identical to mine staring back at me.

"Turn the lights off, Eve." Noah grumbled, "Some of us are trying to sleep here."

I felt a little guilty for interrupting his sleep.

Noah hadn't slept properly in the past two days. Instead he had used that time to turn the house into a source of venting his anger.

Every hour, there would be the sound of glass breaking as Noah vented his frustration.

He had finally stopped earlier this afternoon when Ezra forced him to pay a visit to his therapist.

I was glad, he looked a lot calmer after he returned.

"Why are you in her room?" I asked while rummaging through Aylin's belongings.

I needed something. A diary. A journal. Anything.

Anything to give me an insight of her mind. Anything to tell me why she would go to such extreme measures to set herself free.

"Looking for this?" Noah avoided my question, swinging a notebook in his hand. Many more lied in the bedside table.

I nodded, taking it from his hold. I was a little bit disappointed to find it was filled with only sketches.

Well, it's still something done by her.

I sat beside the window, carefully flipping through the sketchbook in my hand.

My hands paused, a smile finding it's way on my face when I realized more than half of the sketches where of a boy.

Ethan.

I was a little shocked to realize she had drawn pictures of him from when he was a child as well.

I had never seen them talk or even interact with each other.

"I miss her." Noah's quiet voice came from beside me. I hadn't noticed when he had come to sit beside me in the cold floor.

"I miss her, too." I admitted, placing my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his hand around me, pulling me closer to him.

I was closer to Noah than any of my other siblings. He was always there whenever I needed him and somehow understood me better than anyone else.

"Why did you call her ugly?" I asked, my hands fiddling with his big, warm ones.

"The day she came back home." I reminded when he looked clueless, "During dinner."

He thought for a moment before shrugging in response, "I don't know. When have I ever done anything for a reason?"

"I just wanted her attention, to make her look at me once." He added as an afterthought.

"I heard her crying that night." I shared but instantly regretted it when guilt flashed in his eyes.

I decided to stay quiet after that, picking up another sketchbook that contained nothing but Kai.

I skimmed through it before picking up another one, and then another, my heart desperately hoping I'd find one where she had drawn me, thought of me.

"Do you remember what big brother used to say?" Noah asked, his eyes intently watching the sky.

I followed his trail of vision to find the only star that shone in the black canvas tonight.

"Yes." I nodded.

Diego would wake us up in the middle of the night and take us to the roof. He would say he was taking us to meet mom.

Then he would point to the brightest star in the sky, claiming it was mom watching over us.

And like the ignorant fools we were, we used to believe him.

We would spend the whole night there, watching the night sky while he would tell us stories about mom.

I wish we could go back to being ignorant fools again.

... ... ...

Balancing the tray of lunch on one hand, I lightly pressed my knuckles against the door.

But even as I knocked for the third time, no response came.

I turned the knob and pushed the door open only to be enveloped in darkness.

Even in broad daylight the room didn't have even the slightest hint of light.

"Go away."

Stephen growled in annoyance when I slightly pulled the curtains to let some light in.

"I said go away!" He repeated, angrier than before.

"It's me," I told him. Stephen sighed, swallowing the curse words he was about to growl out.

"Go away, Eve." His tone was less ferocious than before. "I want to be alone."

Ignoring him, I took a seat next to him in the sofa.

"Eat something." I told him, placing the tray on the table in front of him.

Stephen hadn't ate anything in the last few days. He would only take a few bites from the meals I would bring to his room everyday.

I was afraid he would fall sick if he insisted on starving like this.

And from the bags under his eyes, it seemed he wasn't getting much sleep either.

The possibility of losing any more of my loved ones gnawed at my heart.

Haven't I lost enough already?

"It's her funeral today." At my reminder, he froze, the glass of whiskey in his hand fell to the floor, breaking into tiny pieces.

The crash woke him up from the trance he was in and just like that he went back to being indifferent again.

I would have thought the last two minutes hadn't happened if not for the shards of glass still abandoned on the floor.

"You have to be there," I continued regardless of how his eyes had started to turn red.

If I could, I would have chosen not to subject him to this pain. I would have let him play pretend that nothing was wrong.

But I couldn't.

Aylin deserved for all of us to be there.

And Stephen's pain meant next to nothing compared to that.

"It will be unfair to her if you don't come," I told him, "Stephen, please."

Stephen stayed quiet, ignoring my presence in the room.

It hurt me to see him like this.

How were we gonna get through this when even the strongest of us couldn't?

"You can't do this to us. You can't just leave us be." I cried out, "We need you. Now more than ever."

"And what about me?" He shot back, sounding like he had been wronged. "I needed her. We don't always get what we need. It's time you learn that, too, honey."

"So you are going to turn this into a lesson now instead of being there for us?"

"I don't fucking care," Stephen clenched his jaw in frustration, "Find someone else to deal with your issues. I'm done trying to be the responsible one."

I looked away, not expecting the sudden harshness from him.

"This is for you," I handed him a small velvet box I had brought with me.

"What is it?" He asked, his tone detached and uninterested.

"A gift." I responded, forcing it in his hands. "From Aylin."

His hands casually unwrapping the ribbon paused as he took in the new piece of information.

"For me?" He echoed in disbelief. At my confirmation his eyes lit up, like a child who has been offered his favourite candy.

"You should open it." I helped when he seemed to be struggling with himself on whether or not he should keep her last gift intact.

His hands trembled as he opened the box, careful not to let even the slightest scratch appear on it.

Inside was a pair of cufflinks accompanied with a handwritten note. I had found it last night while looking for a journal in her room.

"They are the colour of your eyes. " I commented. I peeked over to read the card again.

'Happy Birthday, Stephen.

PS: Sorry for the late gift. Please, don't stop loving me.'

There were some rough doodles of small hearts drawn on it.

I looked over to Stephen. He raised his fisted hand to cover his mouth, trying to hold in his cries as tears streamed down his eyes.

A part of me was relieved to see the sadness pooling in his eyes. It was a step up from the emptiness that had shadowed his features until now.

Anything was better than seeing that endless void.

"Are you coming then?" I asked, hope blooming in my chest.

"I can't."

... ... ...

I have started to hate the color black.

For each time, I was draped in it was because one of my loved ones were to be buried six feet under.

Diego was driving us to the cemetery. Of course, Kai and Stephen weren't with us. I had no idea where Kai was, I hadn't seen him once since we returned from the hospital.

But I knew he would be there. Because even when none of us were by her side, he was.

The car stopped before the cemetery gates and we got down.

I paused in my steps when I saw Diego wasn't following us inside, instead he leaned against the car, his hands playing with the locket he always carried with him.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked, walking back to him.

He shook his head, forcing a smile on his face, "I can't, Eve."

He sounded just like Stephen had earlier this afternoon. What does it even mean he can't come? He's already here, all he needed to do was take a few more steps.

"Why not?" I inquired, trying to decipher his expression.

"She hates me. She wouldn't have wanted me to be there."

I stayed quiet because no words of consolation would make him feel better. Because we both knew what he said was true.

"I don't deserve to be there. Not after everything I have done."

I looked away from his face, not wanting to see the raw pain he was going through.

"I'm responsible for all this. I can't keep denying it forever." He added when he saw me feeling bad for him.

"She forgave Noah and Ezra." I mumbled quietly. "Maybe somewhere in her heart she forgave you, too."

He smiled, his eyes focused on somewhere far in the distance.

"My actions are way past the line of forgiveness." He disagreed. "I was naive to believe I still had a chance at redemption."

"Go now." He ushered me forward. "I'll be waiting right here, don't worry."

I complied and stepped froward, tightly clutching the single piece of daisy in my hand, almost breaking it from the pressure.

This was the moment of truth.

This was the last goodbye I got to bid her.

This was the end of my fairytale.

I had promised myself I wouldn't cry. But now as I stood before the open casket, staring at the face identical to mine, I couldn't stop them from falling down.

A cold hand enveloped my warm ones, gently freeing the poor daisy from my deathly hold before placing it in between Aylin's folded hands.

I didn't have to turn back to know who it was. But I still did, to confirm with my own eyes that I hadn't just imagined it all.

Stephen was standing right behind me, clad in a black suit, the icy blue cufflinks neatly attached to it.

He passed me a small smile before kneeling down before Aylin's coffin and turning his whole attention to her.

"It will all be okay, sweetheart." He promised, pressing a light kiss on Aylin's temples.

He continued to whisper something to her. I moved away, giving him space so he could say his own goodbye.

I looked around the cemetery. There wasn't much people present. Only those who were close to her.

"Are you okay?" Bryce asked, Emma and Ethan following behind him.

I shook my head, not wanting to lie to them.

"It will get better." Emma promised, pulling me in for a hug.

I was a little jealous of the bond Emma and Aylin shared. She was more close to Aylin than I could ever hope to be.

And the sad part was I had no one but myself to blame for it.

"That's a cute bracelet." Emma commented.

I turned my attention to Ethan to see what she was talking about. Just as he felt me staring, he quickly moved his hand behind his back, hiding it from my view.

I frowned at his odd behavior. Its not like I was seeing that bracelet for the first time.

A miniature half moon surrounded by six stars hung in a silver chain.

Ever since he had returned back from visiting his aunt in London, he always carried it with him. He was always so secretive, adamant on hiding it from us so I chose not to comment on it before.

"Why are you hiding it?" Bryce decided to ask in our stead.

"I'm not hiding it."

"Show us, then." Even I was curious now.

"There's nothing to show." Ethan gritted out. "Its just a gift from an old friend."

His tone was enough to tell us to back off. Brushing off his suspicious behaviour, I once again looked around the graveyard for Kai.

I sighed in relief when I caught his familiar figure standing infront of the coffin.

Stephen was still kneeling down, talking to her, paying no heed to anyone around.

Kai, on the other hand, was as still as a statue. His face emotionless, betraying no emotions whatsoever.

Before I could reach his side, someone else beat me to it.

The girl was unfamiliar to me. I doubted Aylin knew her either. She was older than us, that I was sure of.

But as soon as Kai saw her, his eyes turned hostile, "What are you doing here?"

The girl in question narrowed her eyes at his rude tone, "I have every right to be here, same as you. If not more."

"I apologize for what I said that day. She was a good soul, too young to be tainted by the world's cruelty."

The previous hostility disappeared from his eyes as surprise flickered in them, "Thank you."

"Don't you want to avenge her?" The girl asked softly. "Get her the justice she deserves."

"How?"

"Join me." She proposed. "Help me take down that institution."

"Help me make them pay for everything they did. To her. To me. To the hundreds of children still trapped there."

"What's the point?" Kai refuted. "She's already gone. Justice won't bring her back."

"It won't." She nodded.

"You couldn't help her but you can help them at least. You can save the lives of so many innocent children. Wouldn't you have wanted the same for her?"

She sighed when Kai chose to stay silent, "I'm not here to force you. I'm going to UK tomorrow. Decide what you want to do by tonight."

The raven haired girl left, leaving Kai who was already hurting, more devastated.

I went to his side, silently accompanying him.

I was always scared of him. I didn't have a particular reason behind it, he just gave off unapproachable vibes to anyone who wasn't Aylin.

"Do you know what her last words were to me?" I was a little surprised when Kai spoke.

"No."

"She asked me why I wouldn't even look at her way." He smiled bitterly.

"Why, Eve? Why didn't I look at her?" He asked more to himself than me."If I had looked up, just once, I could've seen the pain she was holding in her heart."

"I could've hugged her tight, I could've told her I love her. I could've stopped her."

I noticed how his eyes hadn't strayed away once from Aylin's face while he talked.

"And now I can't get enough of seeing her." The bitter smile was now replaced with a fond one.

"I'm sorry." I told him. I didn't know what else to say. The pain I was feeling was so less compared to his that I couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I think I understand him a little now." He admitted. "It all gets so unbelievably dark after losing someone whose existence means more than the world itself."

I wanted to raise my hand, wipe the tears that stained his face but I wasn't brave enough to do that.

So instead I did the only other thing I could. I grabbed his hand from his side, tightly clutching it in mine, giving him the small amount of comfort I could.

... ... ...

I had believed that the worst was over.

There couldn't possibly be anything worse than having to attend your twin's funeral.

I was wrong.

Watching your brother lose his sanity the same day you returned from burying your other half hurt so much more than I could have imagined.

It was raining outside.

As if the sky had decided to cry with me as I mourned my loss.

Lighting a candle, I walked out of my room. I didn't want to turn the lights on. Somehow, walking through the dark, lonely hallways with only a candle felt more theatrical, haunting.

So, I had no one else to blame when the night really did turn out to be haunting.

"What's wrong?" I asked when Kai rushed past me, accidentally bumping with my shoulder, the force making me fall down to the carpeted floor.

The candle also fell to the ground, the fire instantly went off, emerging the hallway in darkness again.

"Kai?" I grabbed his arm, stopping him. He paused in his steps and turned back to me.

He bent down to my level and helped me get up. I could barely make out any of his features in the dark but I could still tell he was distressed for some reason.

"Are you going somewhere?"

He nodded in response.

I frowned. What could be so urgent that he had to leave in the middle of a thunderstorm?

"Will you tell me where you are going?" I asked softly.

He nodded again, his eyes focused on something in the ground.

"Kai." I urged again when he showed no signs of speaking even after two minutes of silence.

His head shot up, seemingly recalling something, " I have to go." He muttered before standing up in haste.

"Where?"

The sudden lightning that struck outside allowed me a momentary glimpse of his eyes.

They were two endless pools of despair yet so hollow.

"Where are you going, Kai?" I repeated, my voice carrying a slight tremor when I thought of all the possible responses in my mind.

But not even in my wildest imagination, I could have expected his response.