I hated Christmas.

But then again, I hate every other day in the calendar.

But Christmas was in a slightly higher position than other days. The reason was simple.

I had to spend this day alone and no Santa would come to present me with gifts. This thought alone was enough to make me depressed for a week.

"Why are you all so excited?" I yawned, taking out the milk carton from the fridge. I had gotten up particularly late today.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS, AYLIN!" Eve and Ezra screamed in unison. They were making some sort of pastry together in the kitchen.

"Gosh, you don't have to scream like that." I complained, my ears still ringing.

Besides, what's so special about today? We weren't kids anymore.

"Eat." Kai placed a macaron before my mouth. "I made this."

"Mhmm, it's tasty." I commented. "Save me some, for later."

My head was hurting with all the decorations Noah and Diego were hanging around the house.

It was all just so bright.

The only person who looked more out of place than me was Stephen.

I don't know how but someone had managed to convince him to make pastries with them.

I bet he was on his way to work when Ezra stopped him. Now, he was cutting shapes out of the pastry dough while wearing a suit.

Feeling my stare, he looked up from his dough. "You want one, sweetheart?" He smiled at me.

"What are you making?" I asked, sitting opposite him.

"I'm not sure. Ezra just told me to cut them into shapes." He stated, his brows inched together trying to figure out what he was making.

Even if he looked out of place, he looked extremely happy. Everyone did.

Except me, of course.

I went back to my room, my blood boiling at how carefree everyone looked.

Did they spend Christmas every year like this?

Did they even miss me?

They say they did.

But then why did they never reach out? They didn't necessarily have to bring me back home. They could have just contacted me. Talked to me. Even once a year would have been fine.

But they didn't.

For Nine years, none of them ever bothered to visit me. Or even call me.

I could have been dead for all they cared.

Yet they act like nothing is wrong. Like nothing ever was.

They want me to play family with them. To join in their fabricated fairytale.

How is that fair to me?

Am I supposed to forget everything I had to go through in order to keep their perfect fairytale intact?

... ... ...

"Sweetheart?" Stephen knocked on my door. I hadn't gone down since breakfast. Rather I had been engrossed in sketching since noon.

"Yeah, come in." I hollered from my bed.

I wanted to go out. Maybe meet up with Emma. I am sure her Christmas was going worst than mine.

"They are decorating the Christmas tree." Stephen informed softly. "Won't you help?"

"I'm not feeling up for it." I faked a smile. "Maybe later."

He didn't leave even though the conversation was clearly over. I didn't pay him any heed rather went back to my sketch.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He asked in an understanding tone.

"Why does anything have to be wrong?" I snapped. "Can't I just prefer to stay in my room? Why do I need to have a reason for it?"

Stephen's eyes hardened, "Watch your tone with me."

"Of course, that's all what his highness cares about." I mocked.

"Alright." He stated in a cold voice. "As you prefer to stay in your room that much, you don't have to come down for dinner. I will send yours to to your room. You can eat alone."

"Now it feels like Christmas."I laughed."Thank you!"

Stephen's coldness evaporated just like that. He looked like he wanted take back the punishment but in the end he didn't, "You made me do this, Aylin."

"What am I here for if not to take the blame?" I gave him a sweet smile.

"Sweetheart," he ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "Can you not be so difficult? It's Christmas."

"I don't want to celebrate Christmas. Why is it so hard for you to understand?!" I yelled.

"Why must you always be so ungrateful, Aylin?" He asked, perplexed.

I'm ungrateful?

What exactly do they want me to be grateful for?

"If you're going to continue this behavior then make sure you don't go out of your room." He warned. "At least let your siblings be happy."

"Go ahead. I will make sure not to interrupt your family dinner." I snorted.

"Aylin, how long do you want me to tolerate this blatant disrespect?" He asked, clenching his jaw.

Oh, so I was finally getting under his skin?

I had wondered how long it would take.

"Depends on you." I shrugged. "How long do you want to keep up this facade of kindness?"

I could tell the true nature of a person with just a glance.

And Stephen was a cruel man.

He was no where near the kind person he portrayed himself as.

He was the type of person who would skin their prey alive, just for the fun of it.

But, God, I still loved him.

And a part of me knew, he loved me, too. With his own cruel ways.

"My kindness is not a facade." He chuckled, humorless. "At least not to you, sweetheart."

... ... ...

The next time I woke up from my nap, it was already dark.

I was hungry. I didn't even eat lunch in anger. And I refused to bow down and go downstairs for food.

Getting down from the bed, I moved to the window. It was snowing outside.

I liked snow. It was so cold yet warm.

Hearing a knock at my door, I chose not to respond, hoping the intruder would leave.

Stephen pushed the door open and walked in. What does he want again?

"You'll catch a cold." He reprimanded, closing the window.

Ignoring him, I went back to lie down in my bed, covering myself with the blanket.

"You are angry." Stephen voiced out.

"I'm not." I denied. "I just want to sleep. Besides, I wouldn't dare ruin your happy time with my presence."

I don't know why I was being so spiteful. I mean I always was, but rarely do I voice it out.

Maybe Diego's words that day had struck a chord somewhere. I should stop impressing others. Specially Stephen.

Stephen sat beside me in the bed. He tried to caress my hair but I moved my head before he could. He seemed a bit sad at my denial.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." He apologized, stretching his hand again to caress my hair. I didn't move this time. I didn't want to see that sadness in his eyes again.

"I am sorry." He repeated, his hands trying to unknot my tangled hair. "Will you come down to have dinner with us?"

"I made all your favourites." He added, his eyes hopeful, "By myself."

"I thought I wasn't allowed to have dinner with you all." I reminded bitterly, sitting up from my lying position.

"I'm sorry." He repeated for the third time. "I was stressed out. Its your first Christmas with us after so many years. I wanted it to be perfect."

"But it wasn't going as planned. You didn't look happy and I wanted you to be happy. And then I got mad because of your disrespect. I said some things I shouldn't have. And I know I can't take them back now." He explained. "I'm a fool, like Kai always says."

"But won't you forgive your favourite brother?" He asked, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "Just this once?"

"You're not my favorite brother."

"Yes, I am."

"I don't want to eat. I am not hungry." I lied. I was still mad at him.

"Okay." He nodded. "I won't eat unless you eat."

"Do whatever you want," I shrugged.

Stephen hummed in agreement. He picked up the sketchbook I had kept in the bedside table. It was an old one.

"Do you want to pursue art?" He asked, flipping through it.

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's more like a hobby. I don't want it as my profession."

"They're nice." He commented.

"Did you miss me?" I blurted out.

Stephen paused until a smile overtook his features. "Is that why you've been mad all day? Because you thought we didn't miss you?"

"Sweetheart, you couldn't have been further away from the truth."

"It's unrelated." I lied.

"It was hard." Stephen confessed. "To get used to the fact that you won't be there, waiting for me in my room when I return from college."

"To not have someone clinging to my leg to inquire if I bought chocolates for her."

"When I finally realized I no longer had someone who I would have to rock to sleep, it scared me in more ways than you can imagine."

"I missed that little ball of sunshine who would cry from the slightest glare from me. You have no idea how much it killed me everyday to not being able to see you."

"I still miss her. She was more obedient." He joked.

"You just got yourself demoted to a lower position in my favorite brother's list."

"I am okay as long as I'm higher than Diego." He said, looking at the doorway.

"I'll bet you a hundred dollars I'm not even on that list." I heard Diego snicker from behind me.

I turned around to find Diego leaning against the door frame. When did he arrive?

"You only have yourself to blame for it," Stephen snickered back.

"Stephen, go downstairs." Diego said. "I'll bring Lili with me."

"I doubt that." Stephen scoffed but went downstairs anyway.

"Lili, come on." Diego demanded. "It's his birthday."

"Santa Claus?"

"No, silly." He flicked my forehead. "Stephen's birthday."

"Don't lie. Today is not his birthday." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Yeah? Then when is it?" He shot back.

"It's on-um.." I paused. When was his birthday again? Now that I think about it, he never really celebrated his birthday. Or mentioned it.

I felt like a hypocrite for always blaming him for neglecting me when I don't even know his birthday.

"Yes, it's today." Diego flicked on my forehead again. "And we have prepared a surprise for him. And you have to be there."

"Why did none of you inform me beforehand?" I asked, a little annoyed. They could have told me, I would have been far more cooperative.

I didn't even wish him.

"We thought you knew." He shrugged. "That you just didn't want to bother."

I don't even have a gift prepared for him.

At least I still have time to wish him. I can buy him a gift later. Stephen was understanding, I bet he won't mind.

I followed Diego to the dining hall. Stephen smiled when he saw me arrive. I smiled back, my previous grudges gone.

Before we could start, the bell rang.

I wondered who was here at this time. It was supposed to be a family dinner. I had wanted to invite Emma but Stephen said it's better if I don't.

Ezra turned to look at us with a guilty look, "Uh-That must be Iris. She wanted to come. I hope you all don't mind?"

Stephen and Diego seemed to have been aware of this arrangement already. The rest of us didn't mind either.

Ezra went to open the door. He came back with Iris. But they weren't alone. Rather another guy accompanied them.

Instantly, I knew something was wrong.

"Merry Christmas!" Iris wished, enthusiastically. My siblings wished her back with just as much enthusiasm, if not more.

"Oh, and this is my brother Liam." She introduced.

I would have believed her if not for the fact that she was Chinese and the man she claimed her brother was American.

"Can I sit beside Lin-Lin?" Iris asked sweetly. Both the spots besides me were occupied by Kai and Diego.

Diego being the asshole he was didn't even bat an eye at her request, showing no signs of moving to a different spot. So Kai had to give up his spot.

"Don't worry, Lin-Lin." Iris whispered, pressing my hand under the table. "I told you I would find a way."

I felt bile rise up at the thought of what way she was talking about.

"Did the brat ask you to marry him yet?" Diego asked, breaking the silence.

"You can't ask stuff like that!" Ezra protested angrily, blood rushing to his cheeks in embarrassment. "Iris, don't mind him. He's a little unscrewed up here." He gestured to his head.

I wholeheartedly agreed with Ezra. And so did everyone else.

Just like that the dinner table went back to it's previous joyous atmosphere.

I hoped it would stay like this. But when did things ever go as I hoped?

Never.

Iris's supposed brother Liam was stiff throughout the whole dinner. He was intently watching Stephen.

Iris, on the other hand, was openly looking at him with disgust. She would give curt responses everytime Stephen asked her something.

But somehow I was the only one who noticed all this. The others didn't seem to think anything was wrong.

But something was wrong.

And it was confirmed once the dinner ended and I saw Liam nodding at Iris meaningfully before all hell broke loose.

Iris clutched my hand in hers and gave me an encouraging smile, "It's going to be fine, Lin-Lin. I promise."

"Iris, I have to tell you something." I said, my tone urgent.

"Later," She mouthed.

Just as I was about to force her, I saw Liam getting up from his seat and approaching Stephen.

Before Stephen could react, Liam fished out a pair of handcuffs and restrained Stephen.

"Stephenzo Black,you are under arrest for child abuse."

My mind stopped registering what he said after that. All I could hear was a loud ringing noise as the voices in my head started laughing.

'You reap what you sow, Lili.'

No, I can still fix this.

I have to.

"Child abuse?" Kai scoffed in disbelief. "Do you have any proof?"

"We have your sister's testimony." Liam briefly informed.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Diego growled, his fists clenched ready to aim at Liam.

"Aylin, you don't have to be scared anymore." Liam assured me.

And just like that all the eyes turned to me.

Stephen's eyes were fixated on me. The calmness in them forcing me to take a step back.

Why was he so calm?!

Unfortunately, Liam and Iris took that as me backing away in fear.

"Lin-lin, you don't have to fear that monster anymore. I told you I will protect you." Iris reminded.

"Liam was the who saved me from my abusive parents. He will do the same for you. Don't worry."

I felt a boulder of guilt hit me.

Her parents were abusive?

Is that why it was so easy to manipulate her into believing me?Because she empathized with me?

"How dare you come into my house and humiliate my brother like this?" Ezra asked, his voice low but deadly.

Even I felt a chill run down my back at the intensity of his anger. It was unlike when Stephen or Diego got angry. He was somehow more scary than them.

"Ezra, you don't understand. Lin-lin told me herself. Your brother has been physically abusing her. But she was too scared to tell you anything." Iris said, her voice sympathetic.

"Now you are framing my little sister?" Ezra hissed, his jaw clenched as he pulled me to his side, away from Iris.

"Lin-lin, say something." Iris encouraged, her eyes still holding understanding.

"Uh-I actually-" I stammered not knowing what to say.

Neither did I want to accept or deny the fact that I had indeed claimed Stephen to be abusive.

It was the ideal example of being stuck between a rock and hard place.

In both scenarios I had plenty to lose.

But then my eyes fell on my siblings.

They were looking at me with so much trust in their eyes. As if there was no way what Iris was saying was the truth.

And I understood why Stephen looked so calm.

In his heart, I could never accuse him of such a crime. He was sure I had no hand in this.

"I-I don't know what she's talking about."I blurted out.

I didn't want to break their trust.

For I knew, once trust is broken it can never be the same. I had experienced it firsthand.

"Lin-lin, I promise I will get you out of here. You don't have to be scared. He won't be able to harm you anymore." Iris continued to insist.

"You heard her!" Diego growled in anger at her continuous insistence. "She has no idea what you're talking about."

With one fluid movement, Stephen pressed Liam's head against the table, his hands still restrained by the handcuffs.

Even in the given situation, I couldn't help but be impressed at his skills.

Why was he going along if he had the power to free himself since the start?

"I'm being courteous to you just because you're Ezra's girlfriend." Stephen coldly stated. "Leave before I change my mind."

Iris's eyes glinted with fear at Stephen's cold threat.

"Lin-lin, I won't leave you here." Even when she was scared, she was still thinking of me.

"Iris, leave!" Ezra shouted.

"No!" She shouted back.

This is not how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to leave. Why was she still fighting my brothers when clearly she was on the losing end? Even Liam wouldn't be able to protect her. Why was she so brave to drive headfirst in a battle which wasn't even hers?

When I was cowardly hiding behind Ezra. Why couldn't I be brave like her?Why couldn't I have that spark in my eyes? To fight for someone even if it meant I lose everything?

Was it because she saw herself in me?

Because she thought I was helpless just like she once was?

I wasn't sure if I should admire her for her kindness or laugh at her foolishness.

For my whole life, I have believed you can only rely on yourself to survive.

And then came Iris.

Fighting for a lie.

Protecting me from monsters I made up to manipulate her emotions into agreeing with my request.

"Ezra, Lin-lin is scared." Iris tried to explain. "She is too scared to speak up infront him." She gestured to Stephen.

"Can you stop lying?!" Ezra grabbed his hair in frustration.

"She's not lying."

I really do have a talent to turn the whole room silent.

I didn't look up from the ground, afraid to meet their eyes full of betrayal.

"What do you mean?" Diego asked, still not wrapping his mind around the turn of events.

"She's not lying." I repeated. "I told her Stephen is--that Stephen hits me.That he is abusive." I admitted.

The silence that followed was painstaking. But I deserved it.

No one said anything for a minute.

Stephen broke the silence. But I hoped he hadn't.

"I a-abuse you?" Stephen stuttered. I have never heard him stutter before. Never.

I made the mistake to look up at his face. I don't think I will ever be able to forget the broken look his eyes held.

"I hit you?" His voice was merely a whisper. But it still echoed in my head.

His voice didn't sound like his at all. It was so vulnerable. So broken.

"I-I can explain." I muttered even though I had no idea how to.

"Are you sure?" Stephen was back to his cold self. The broken look in his eyes replaced by betrayal. "Or should I leave in case you are too scared of me hitting you?"

"Don't threaten her!" Iris shouted at him. "Ezra, are you still going to protect him?" She turned her focus on Ezra.

"I lied! Okay, I lied!" I yelled. "He is not abusive."

Iris flinched back, not expecting me to deny my claims like that.

"Why would you lie to me?" She asked, confused.

"So you would lie about the pills." I whispered so only she would hear. I was so sick of this web of lie I had weaved.

Iris looked horrified as the realization dawned on her.

"But I saw--"

Before she could continue I ran to her side and pulled her with me to an empty room.