《Rheostat》30.Crayons

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Today was the happiest day of my life.

Mom and Dad said they were going to bring us a little sister. I was tired of having only little brothers. They were annoying and never followed what I ordered, completely ignoring the hierchy.

"Big bro," Noah clung to my leg, raising his hands for me to pick him up. He can't even talk properly and had already started pestering me. Shouldn't a baby's first words be 'Mom' or 'Dad'?

I had asked Ezra and Kai to call me Big brother. But those two brats didn't listen. Instead an annoying toddler would follow me around all day calling me big bro. At least, he was cute so I was going to forgive him for annoying me all the time.

I picked Noah up and placed him in my lap. Maybe he misses Mom. We are going to go meet her now. "Are you excited to meet your new sister?" I asked him. I don't think he understood because his only response was to touch my cheeks. Why were kids so dumb?

"Can I not go?" Kai huffed at Stephen. That's all he can do, really. He was the most annoying among my brothers. I had offered him to become my disciple. The kid had potential to become my successor. Not surprisingly, he only stared at me in response. His loss.

"No, Kai. Don't you want to meet Mama?" Stephen asked, kneeling down to his level so he could fix Kai's crooked bowtie. I am surprised he managed to convince him to come down in the first place.

"Look! I brought her a gift!" Ezra came running down the stairs. "Do you think she will like it?" He asked showing us the thing he had hidden in his fist.

"She's a human baby, Ezra. Not a goat." I laughed when I saw he had brought a handful of grass from the back garden.

"Don't girls like flowers?" He asked, confused. On closer inspection, they were indeed not grass but wild flowers.

"I'm sure she will love it, Ezra." Stephen assured kindly. "Now, lets go."

It took us ten more minutes to get inside the car because Kai was refusing to move from his place.

But we finally reached the hospital and Uncle Sean took us to where our baby sister was. There was a glass surrounding the baby as she slept.

Noah was jumping to get a better view so I picked him up so he could also see her. "Cute!" Noah placed his hands against the glass in an attempt to touch her.

"She's so cute." Ezra echoed. Kai was just standing there not understanding why we were so excited. Did he not feel anything at all?

"I want to see Mom." Kai tugged on my sleeves.

"Okay. Lets go see her." I looked around but saw Stephen was missing. Wasn't he here just now?

Uncle Sean took us in front of the room mom was. I saw Stephen sitting in one of the chairs outside the room. He had his head buried between his hands.

"Stephen, why didn't you come see Eveline with us." Mom and Dad had decided on naming her Eveline after months of fighting over hundreds of names.

As soon as Stephen raised his head, I knew something was wrong. His face held panic as he mumbled with difficulty, "Something... something is wrong with Mama."

"What do you mean, Stephen?" Uncle Sean narrowed his eyes. He was Mom's only brother. Our grandparents were already dead so Mom was his only family left.

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"Uh-the doctor said she's having twins. And that, uh, that they didn't know before. And now it's hard. And something about Mama in danger. I don't know." Stephen clutched his head tightly.

"Calm down. She's going to be alright." Uncle Sean tried to pacify him. But even he himself was panicking.

"Diego, what's wrong?" Ezra asked.

"Nothing's wrong. We are having another little sister." I told him.

"But I only brought one gift." Ezra said, tearing up at the thought he wouldn't be able to give his new sister a gift.

"You can divide the flowers into two." I told him. His tears stopped hearing that and he diligently started to count the flowers so he could divide them into equal parts. Kai also climbed in one of the chairs and leaned against Uncle Sean to take a nap.

Dad came out of the operation theater after half an hour. He was accompanying Mom in there.

"Alejandro, how's Selene?" Uncle Sean asked as soon he caught sight of him. I also stood up, eager to meet mom.

"She-She killed my Selene. She killed her, Sean." Dad muttered in a trance, his eyes bloodshot.

"Who killed Selene?" Uncle Sean asked, taking a large intake of breathe.

"That monster." His eyes burned with hatred.

Uncle Sean looked at Dad with confusion until realization seeped in. He looked at Dad as if he had gone mad. "How's the baby?" He asked instead.

"I couldn't care less." Dad scoffed before striding away.

... ... ...

"Did she really kill Mom?" Ezra asked in a low voice. We were standing infront of a glass box similar to Eveline's. In there was a little baby who looked the same as her.

No one answered Ezra's question because none of us knew the answer.

"Is she our sister?" Kai asked in excitement.

He knew how to feel excited? Well, that's new.

"Yes, she is." Stephen smiled at his excitement.

"She's so cute. Can we really take her home with us?" Kai asked in disbelief. Is he blind? Eveline and she looked the exact same. Why wasn't he this excited back then?

"Do you want to hold her?" Stephen laughed.

"I can?" Kai's eyes widened.

"I want to hold her, too." Ezra requested.

Stephen called the nurse who helped put the new baby in Kai's arms. I smiled at Kai's grinning face. Its not everyday we get to see Kai smile.

"We need a name for her." Stephen sighed.

"Right now?" I asked.

"Yes, for her birth certificate and hospital papers."

"Shouldn't we ask Dad?"

"No, it's better if we decide." Stephen responded. He had followed Dad after he left. I know they had a talk about something. Stephen's face was all dark when he returned.

"Can we name her crayons? I love colouring with crayons." Kai looked up at Stephen with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Something less objective, Kai." Stephen rejected.

"How about bear? She's so warm and cuddly." Ezra requested hugging 'crayons' to his chest.

Children and their non-existent vocabulary.

"Big bro! Cute!" Noah tried to show me his new discovery as he desperately tried to snatch crayons from Ezra.

"Diego, what do you think?" Stephen asked me. I wasn't too keen on having another sister. I was contented with only one. And Dad's words were still ringing in my head.

"I don't care what you name her." I shrugged.

"Artemis sounds like a nice name." Stephen decided.

"You don't actually believe that." I scoffed.

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"You have a better suggestion?" He shot back.

"Aylin."

I had this name in mind for months. It meant moon halo. And I always thought it would be perfect for my little sister because Mom's name came from a moon goddess in Greek mythology. But I never told it to them because Mom and Dad were already arguing all the time over a name and I didn't want to butt in.

"It's final. Her name is Aylin." Stephen declared before standing up to go and find Uncle Sean.

"You heard him. I named her so she's mine from now." I announced."Now give her to me." I snatched Aylin from Kai.

"But I want to hold her for longer." Kai started to cry.

I ignored him and took little Aylin in my arms. She was so small. And light. It was like even a slight wind would blow her away. I felt a strong sense of protectiveness engulf me.

"I'll protect you with my life," I vowed.

Of course, it didn't take me long to break the vow.

... ... ...

"Dad, we named her Aylin. Don't you want to see her?" I opened the door to Mom and Dad's room. It was night and we had already returned with our two little sisters.

The lights in the room were dim. Dad was sitting on the couch with one of his legs resting over the other. His eyes were crimson red and his face filled with loss. I have never seen Dad so devasted before.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"Do you know where your Mom is, Diego?" He asked, his voice cracking at the end.

"Stephen said she's in a better place."

At my response, Dad started to laugh maniacally. "There's no better place, my stupid son. She is dead. Gone. She will never come back. I can never see her again." He continued to laugh.

"That thing out there isn't your sister. She's a monster, Diego." I was getting scared now. Why was he talking like this?

"Uncle Sean says it's not Aylin's fault." I mumbled.

"Diego, did I ever lie to you?"

"No." I answered honestly. Dad never lies.

"Did you love your mother, Diego?" He asked, his voice held a newfound hope.

"Yes," I nodded vigorously. I loved Mom the most!

"Then you have to get justice for her. Even during death she had to go through so much pain." His eyes filled with tears at the recollection of it. "She cried for my help. But I couldn't do anything. All I could do was watch that monster slowly killing your Mom."

"But Uncle Sean said-"

"Your uncle wasn't in there. I was." Dad interrupted me. "I saw it with my own eyes."

"You will get justice for your mom, won't you?" He asked, his eyes holding a crazed look.

"I will," I promised, determined. I won't let Mom face injustice.

"You can't let that monster be happy. If she's happy your mom will be sad." He explained. "She will be angry if you let her killer be happy. You don't want your Mom to be angry, do you?"

"I won't let her be happy." I told him and he finally looked satisfied.

"Dad, why did she kill her?" I asked. Mom was so sweet. Why would anyone want to take her away from me?

"Because that's what monsters do, son." Dad said. "They destroy everything."

That day, I had truly believed the small bundle of cuteness sleeping in Kai's arms was a monster who took my mom away from me.

And I did everything in my power to make that monster's life hell.

It took me 7 more years to realize who the real monster was that day.

... ... ...

My hatred for her only got deeper as the time passed.

It was like a seed, regularly watered by the malicious words of Dad. And now it had started to grow thorns that would ultimately hurt everyone around me.

It was her seventh birthday. I didn't know if I should mourn or celebrate this day. But every year, I had to force myself to smile for Eve's sake.

Dad would be in the same dilemma. But he would still celebrate Eve's birthday. Of course, Aylin wouldn't be invited to any of the birthday parties. But this year, Stephen had been fighting Dad for months over this. And Dad finally gave in.

Oh, but it wouldn't be that easy. I won't let her happy. No matter what.

I felt my blood boil at the sight of Aylin smiling. What right did she have to smile? What right did she even have to live? I should just kill her.

Let's see how long that smile lasts.

"Lili, come here." I called her. Aylin separated herself from the crowd and ran towards me.

"Big brother!" She tried to hug my legs but I stepped aside and she fell down. I felt a little bad that she got hurt because of me. I didn't know she would fall down. I just didn't want her to touch me.

"Are you having fun?" I asked, helping her get up.

She gave me a huge smile as if she didn't just get hurt because of me. "Yes." She nodded frantically. She tried to hug me again and this time I let her. "This is the best day of my life!"

I almost changed my mind at the sight of her pure excitement. When was the last time she was so happy? I couldn't remember. Because everytime she was even remotely happy, I would be there to ruin it for her.

Maybe I shouldn't take this one day from her, I thought.

But she killed Mom. Shouldn't I avenge Mom? Will it really be fair to Mom if I let her killer be happy without a care in this world?

From the corner of my eyes, I caught the sight of Kai glaring at me. He must be wary of me doing something to ruin Aylin's birthday. Kai and Aylin didn't talk ever since I locked her in the cupboard. I had said those parting words intentionally to cause a fight between them. I was glad it had worked.

"Big brother, did you see the cake? It's this big." Aylin extended her small arms to show me the size of cake.

"You won't be able to cut it though." I voiced out.

"Stephen told me I can cut it with Eve." Aylin asserted.

"You can't, Lili." I affirmed. "I won't let you."

"Why?" She asked,confused.

"Because you don't deserve to be happy."

"But-but I want to be happy too." She mumbled looking down.

Don't fall for it, Diego. She deserves it.

My hands trembled as I slipped Mom's pendant in her dress.

But why? I have done much worse to her before. This is practically child play infront of all the things I have done to torment her over the years.

Maybe because so many people were present here. But a big part of me was happy she would be humiliated infront of everyone.

Mom would be proud of me, right?

I got what I wanted. I had successfully wiped that smile off her face. But I hadn't expected things to escalate this far.

Dad had never raised his hands on any of us. Which is why I never even dreamed he would slap her.

"I will never forgive you for this."

I flinched back at the intensity of Aylin's words. How could a seven year old child hold so much hatred in their eyes? The thought of that hatred directed solely towards me paralyzed me for a second.

I quickly followed her running figure to the terrace. She was shouting at Eve as tears ran down her eyes. "I hate you! I hate all of you!"

I felt a jab at my heart at the thought of her hating me.

Kai came seconds after me and without even glancing at me he rushed to Aylin.

I felt jealous at the sight of her jumping in Kai's arms. Maybe that would be me in Kai's place if I had treated her better.

"Why couldn't it be me who died that day? I never asked to be born in this hell." Aylin cried.

I felt my chest burning with pain at her words.

"Are you satisfied?" Stephen asked. I didn't even notice when he had arrived beside me.

"She deserves it." I answered. I refused to accept defeat.

Stephen laughed coldly at my response. "I look forward to the day you truly realize what you have done." Stephen left after saying that. He probably had to go do damage control for my actions.

Should I be satisfied that I had accomplished my life goal? I had succeeded in making her life hell that she wished to have never been born.

But I didn't feel satisfied. Instead a sense of loss gripped me. Just like seven years ago when I held Mom's cold hands.

Eve passed by me, her eyes filled with tears as she looked at me bitterly.

And that was the moment I knew that I had messed up.

Both my little sisters were crying. Because of me.

Was Aylin really the monster I had portrayed in my mind?

Or was it me all along?

... ... ...

After Aylin had tired herself from crying she fell asleep in Kai's arms.

I took that as a cue to leave.

The party was already over. The hall was empty and the cakes remained uncut.

I should have at least waited until she cut the cake. She really wanted to cut the cake.

I headed straight to Dad's study. The sound of arguing resonated from inside the room. I went in to find Stephen and Dad indulged in a heated argument.

"You can't do that! I won't let you!" Stephen shouted.

"I'd like to see you try," Dad challenged.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Stephen turned to glare at me. "It's all your fault. I hope you are happy!" He spat out before leaving, closing the door with a bang in his way.

"Dad, what's wrong?" I repeated.

"I'm sending Lili to a boarding school." He stated.

"Why? Is it because of tonight?" I panicked. "It was me who took the pendant from Eve. Lili didn't steal it. It was all me. I swear."

"You did it?" Dad frowned at my response.

"Yes, it was my fault. So don't send her." I told him.

Dad stood up from his chair and approached me. He stopped before me and raised his hand. Just as I thought he was going to hit me like he did to Aylin, he did the opposite.

He patted my shoulder as his eyes shone with pride. "I'm proud of you, son."

"You did the right thing." He assured. "I wanted to send her away for a long time. You created the perfect opportunity for me."

"Please don't send her, dad. She is still a child. She won't be able to live alone." I pleaded. I hated her but I didn't want her to go away from me.

"Don't tell me you are feeling pity for that witch." Dad scoffed. "It's already final. She is leaving in two days."

He stayed true to his words. Exactly two days later, he sent her away.

... ... ...

"You have to bring her back!" I slammed my hand on Dad's table. I had met her today after six months. And she looked miserable there.

"I'm doing this for her own good, son."

"She's miserable there." I bellowed. "She-she said they don't even let her eat." My voice trembled. Just at the thought of her starving while I lived a lavish life here was enough to make me want to kill myself.

"And you believed her?" Dad scoffed. "She's only putting on a show to appear miserable in front of you. Her teacher in-charge already informed me that she was skipping meals as a tantrum."

"I don't care if it was pretend or not. She's not happy there. You have to bring her back home!"

"Is that so?" Dad smirked. "What will you do if I don't agree?"

That was the thing. There was nothing I could do. Absolutely nothing.

Stephen had been trying for months to find a way. But dad was her legal guardian and he couldn't go against that.

But I already promised her I will go back to bring her home. And I refuse to break any more promises.

... ... ...

It was pointless.

Even after a year of trying everything, I still don't have a way.

I didn't even know where that creepy institute is.

"Dad, please. She has already suffered enough." I begged, when I saw no other way.

"Alright. I will bring Lili back home if that's what you really want." He easily agreed. Really, that's all it took?

"Thank you," I said, feeling my eyes water at the thought of Lili's smile.

The next day, Dad took me and Eve to bring Aylin back.

"Big brother, should I give her the present now or when we reach home?" Eve excitedly asked me. We were in the backseat of the car, on our way to Aylin's boarding school.

"Kai will be so surprised when he comes home and finds Lili there." Eve gushed. Dad told us to keep it a surprise and not inform anyone. I complied with his request and not even Stephen knew of this.

"Diego, come out first." Dad commanded. I got out of the car. I had only seen this place once before and it still amazed me.

Why was it surrounded by such huge walls? And the security here seemed a little over the top. We had to go through at least five security checks until we reached the main entrance.

"Isn't Eve going inside with us?" I asked, confused. He had left Eve in the car behind us.

"That depends on you." Dad said.

"What do you mean?" I felt anxiety building up at his words. Wherever this conversation was going, I wasn't liking it.

"Why are we here, Dad?" I asked,wary.

"To take Lili back home, of course." He smiled. But it was anything but reassuring.

"Do you remember what I always taught you, Diego?" Dad asked walking ahead of me.

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