Graysons PoV

It's like she's been kidnapped all over again. The not knowing. The not smelling her. The not having her with me.

Everything.

It's my fucking fault. It's all my fucking fault. I need her but I let her go. I had to for fucks sake.

I never wanted a mate. I never felt the need for one since I was doing just fine on my own but seeing my best friend, Zane, with his mate makes me want what he has. I will admit I am a fucking monster but that's only because I had to be. Because of the way I am, I lost the one person who probably would've cared for me more than anyone else in the fucking world. And I realised that the moment her car was just a little dot in my eyeline as she drive further and further away.

Now, I don't love her, I know I don't but she's my mate and this mate bond has forced me to feel like I can't live without her and that I need her. This mate bond will continue to force me to feel like this until we meet again and the rejection is either accepted or not.

The look she had in her eyes all those weeks ago when I rejected her has haunted me since. She looked broken and confused and that's because of me. "Get the fuck out!," I growled out at Zane who just strolled in my house like it was his.

"I told you not to do it," he shrugged, not giving a shit. "You should've listened to me."

"You won't be saying that when I break every bone in your body," I threatened him.

"I thought I should let you know that she called Isla," he spoke nonchalantly like this was nothing. "But if you want me to get out, I will."

"Tell me before I rip your head from your shoulders and use it as a bowling ball," I threatened him, knowing full well he won't be afraid since he knows I wouldn't do it.

"She called her and told her that she's going to another pack."

"She can talk?," I asked, wanting to confirm what I heard was right. He nodded his head. "What pack?"

"Whatever you're thinking, stop it," he said warningly. "Leave her be. You've already caused her enough damage."

My head snapped towards him. "I've caused her enough damage. You think I'm gonna fuck her up? Oh shit wait, you think I already have," I spat out sarcastically. "You just worry about your own fucking mate and I'll worry about mine. Now what fucking pack is she going to?"

"I don't know, she didn't say. She probably doesn't want you to find out."

"You can leave now," I sneered out at him as I resisted the urge to punch him in the face and claw his eyes out.

"Don't act like this. You need to be the Alpha we need you to be. You need to be the Alpha you were before you met her. It was your decision that led you to this. You need to face the consequences."

"You're gonna be facing some consequences in a minute if you don't shut the fuck up," I hissed out.

"I'll see you later," he sighed out before he left.

"I can feel her wolf," my wolf, Ice, spoke. "I can feel her but she won't talk to me. I try but she won't reply. I can feel the bond between her wolf and I weaken which means she's getting further and further away from us."

"I'm sorry," I sighed out. "I fucked it up. I fucked her up. I should've listened to you when we first met her and I should've stopped fighting the bond then and I could've saved us all of this pain."

My wolf didn't say a word as I went to my room and sat on my desk. Hidden beneath a bunch of random papers was my journal. The journal that I write all my thoughts and my feelings in. It's the only way I can express them without confiding in someone else. I opened it and turned to the last page I wrote in.

Today, I realised that I need her. When I rejected her, I never felt more vulnerable in my life. And that look in her eyes. She looked broken like her heart just shattered into a million trillion pieces.

I promised my mom before she died that I would always love, protect and care for my mate. I broke it. Promises are made to be broken. They don't mean anything. They're just commitments you make. Promises are like marriages and most of those don't end well either.

When I saw her get into her car and drive away, I wanted to jump out of my bedroom window and pull her out of the car but I couldn't. I rejected her. I just wanted her to turn around and come back. I wanted her to get out of the car and demanded an explanation. But she didn't. She carried on driving. I watched her drive away until I couldn't see her anymore.

This was the night I decided to visit my moms grave. The grave I haven't visited in years. I sat by the grave and just stared at the headstone engraving the words in my mind.

Amelia Knight

1981-2011

A mother, friend and Luna

She was more than just a mom, a friend and a Luna. She was an amazing, beautiful, kind hearted woman.

Next to her grave was my fathers. I didn't want to look at his. I didn't need to. He was a coward. The things he did to make other people happy were disgusting.

I hope that Alana and I don't end up together. I hope she goes on to find her second chance mate. I've let her go to save her from me. If she found out about my past, she'd never look at me the same ever again.

I slammed the journal shut. I don't want to read anymore. I don't need to be reminded of what I've lost.

Alana's PoV

"Can we stop talking about mates?," I asked. Xavier was beginning to give me a headache with all this nonsense talk about mates.

"Why?," Ace asked.

"Because," I shrugged, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"Go one," Xavier encouraged me. "You know that you can tell us anything, right?"

I nodded my head. "Okay so, I have a mate." They sat silently for a moment as they thought about what I just dropped on them.

"You have a mate?," Ace asked, wanting me to confirm. I nodded my head. "Why are you here then and not with him?"

"He rejected me," I shrugged. "Long story short, I got kidnapped and he blamed himself and then he just rejected me. Now, here I am."

"It's okay if you want to cry or scream," Xavier said. "Gimme a name. I'll beat him up."

"I wish you could. He's an Alpha," I told him.

"All the Alphas are old except... No, don't tell me it's Grayson Knight the Alpha of Blood Moon Pack." Hearing his name caused a pang of pain to strike my heart causing me to frown slightly.

"Sounds about right," I said. "I don't need to cry. I've had enough time to try to forget about him."

"He's the most dangerous Alpha out there when it comes to territory and rogues. I heard he killed his own father with his bare hands when he was only 11. After that, he became the worlds youngest Alpha. Alphas after Alphas-," Ace said before he was interrupted mid sentence.

"We don't need a story time," Xavier cut in. Ace glared at him before turning to me.

"I'm sorry. You probably don't want to hear about him," Ace apologised.

"It's fine," I told him with a tight lipped smile. "I think I might just go for bed." With that, I left the couch and made my way to my bedroom. Once I was in the safety of my bed, a tear slipped out of my eye as the familiar aching pain in my heart returned.

Another tear followed soon after. I really wish things were different.