~

I sit on the pavement at the soccer field, a bottle of water in my hand, my hair flying all over the place. I was the only left after soccer practice because dad was running late.

I take a sip from my water again, and let my head fall to stare at the dark green grass. I didn't know the time, but I knew it was getting late. I knew I was getting scared and feeling lonely.

I play with the grass with my feet, pulling it out from the roots. A feel a hand tap my shoulders, and I look up with a smile. My face falls when I see it's not dad.

My heart beats faster when I see a creepy man smiling at me. I wanted to scream stranger danger, but his smile wasn't frightening, it was gentle and filled with compassion.

"Where are your parents?" he asks with a smile.

I look at him with narrow eyes, wondering if I could trust him or not. "They went to get me ice cream from that shop over there, " I lie, pointing at any random shop.

The man purses his lips and nods his head. He sits next to me on the pavement. "You know when I was younger, this place didn't use to be a soccer field, " he says, staring straight ahead.

"What was it?" my curiosity gets the best of me.

"It was just an ordinary sand field. My friends and I used to come here and play soccer on the hot sand during the summer. Most people joined in, and eventually, it became our town's signature soccer field, " he laughs, reminiscing the old memory.

"How come it's with grasses now if it was filled with sand before?" I ask, tilting my head.

"Irrigation? Mowing? I don't know, " he mimics my facial expression. "But they did something to make the conditions better for the next generation."

I nod my head, although I didn't really understand what he meant. "How old are you?" he asks.

Since my left hand occupied a bottle of water, I raise my right hand, signaling a five before adding a one.

" Fifty-one?" he frowns.

"No, " I burst out laughing. "Six. I'm six."

" Oh..My daughter is six years old, too, " he replies with a laugh.

He stayed with me, talking and making me laugh until my dad came to pick me up.

The next day, the man brings his sulking daughter to the soccer field. I knew her from school, but I've never really spoken to her. She played soccer terribly but always stayed as late as I did.

Her dad always seems to pick her up the same time my father picked me up. And that was how we became friends. By waiting for our dads together after soccer practice.

I enjoyed her braiding my hair while telling me stories. I enjoyed how she always listened to me talk all day without making me feel stupid. She was like a young mother to me, always putting me first. She managed to morph me into her mini-me. She made me care about things I didn't think matter.

I always said if I give birth to a girl, I'll name my child after her. Ashley.

But all that didn't matter now. Because life never seems to go the way we want it.

Life is like a Fibonacci spiral. Aesthetically pleasing from the outside, complex for people who don't get the hang of it, easy for the people who've gone through it. But, we are still stuck in the complexity of it because it only gets easy when we die.

And right now, I feel like I'm hanging by a thread.

Wendy peeps into the house, standing on her toes. "We are here to see Garry. Can you tell him that Wendy's here?"

Ashley looks from me to Wendy, and her eyes widen like a saucer. "You're Wendy?" She points a finger.

I figured her dad most have told her something about Wendy and me, judging from the way acted. Her gaze shifts to me. "And this is your daughter?"

Wendy seems uncomfortable with the question, and Ashley's mum appears at the door at that moment. "Wel-,"

She stops mid-word when she sees me, frozen to the spot. "Dove's the daughter?"

Her eyes hold an unfathomable expression, but she shakes her head and opens the door wider. "Come in, " She says, her voice hoarse.

Ashley keeps a stern expression on her face as she watched me walk in.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Ashley's mum asks Wendy.

Wendy nods, and both of them walk up the stairs leaving both Ashley and me alone.

Ashley and I have never been in the same spot alone ever since I caught her and Gray together. She never apologized for what she did. Instead, she added salt to my wound.

I was able to forgive Gray because I never expected much from him in the first place. But Ashley. I had always thought of her as my safety net. Someone who'd catch me if I fall, but she let me hit the ground and break my back. She left me broken.

"Why didn't you tell me your dad was dying?" I ask her, my voice brittle.

If Ashley's father weren't Garry, the thought of him dying would make drown in my tears. To be honest, it still made me feel sad even though I know he's Garry. He was an important figure during my childhood days, and those childhood memories do not fade away.

"The times I tried to talk to you did you ever listen, " She snaps, her voice cold and harsh.

What is her problem? She's the one who betrayed me, not the other way around.

"What exactly is the color of your problem, " I frown, folding my arms over my chest.

She raises a brow at me, almost as if she couldn't believe my guts. "Just stay the fuck away from me."

"You don't see me coming close to you, do you?" I snarl, giving her her attitude back.

She smirks and licks her lips, shaking her head. "Typical Dove. I hope you have a happy ending with Gray, " She says in a mocking tone.

Is that what this is about? Gray?

"Do you like him?" I ask with a frown. "Is that why you slept with him?"

My questions seem to hit a nerve because she glared at me with cold dead eyes, and if looks could kill, I'd probably be 12 feet underground. Yes, twelve.

"It was never about Gray for me, " She shakes her head in a condensing manner.

I chuckle and tuck my hair behind my ear. "Yeah, you just slept with Gray because you felt like."

She regains her composure and smirks. "Actually, yes."

Her words hit me like a cold brick, and I try really hard to mask the hurt I felt. "Well, I hope it was worth losing your best friend for, " I snap.

She chuckles bitterly and shakes her head. "You were never my best friend, Dove."

Thankfully, she walks away right after saying that. I was glad she walked away because I didn't want her to see my tears.

I had always thought there was a chance we could be friends again. I held on to our great childhood memories because she was one of the few people that truly understood me.

I held on to those times and waited for her to apologize. I just wanted an apology for everything to be right.

I stare down at the floor, my sight blurry due to the tears threatening to spill down my face.

Right now, I'm not even sure if I've been holding on to memories or dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~

That night, I search my drawers for a pretty nail polish color to paint my toenails. I need to do something to get my mind off how I felt. I was going to get tested to see if I was a match for Garry tomorrow. After picking a neon green polish, I retreated to my bed.

Sitting on my comforter, I start with the big toenail of my left foot. I was at the smallest toenail when someone knocks on my door.

I squint my eyes and hold my breath in hopes that I don't smudge the paint. The person knocks again, and this time, the distraction causes me to spill the paint onto my skin.

I groan and grab a cotton pad to wipe the smudge. "Come in, " I yell.

Gray walks into my room, his hands in his pocket as an amused expression rested on his face. "If I don't knock, you complain. If I do, you still complain, " He shakes his head.

"That's because I was busy, " I sigh and wipe the paint from my pinky toe before reapplying it.

Gray tilts his head and watches me as I paint the toenail. When I move to paint my right foot, he stretches his arms out and bends his knee.

I look at his hand. "What?"

"Let me help you, " he says and kneels at the edge of my bed. He grabs the nail polish from me and pulls my foot closer to him.

"Have you done this before? " I ask, staring down at him.

"No, but how hard can it be?" He shrugs and pulls the brush out of the paint.

I watch as he furrows his brows in concentration, stroking the brush on my nails gently. He bites down on his lower lip when the paint smudges to the side a bit.

I try not to laugh as I watch him use his thumb to clean the paint. He continues painting the first toe, trying to make it perfect.

The polish stains my skin again, and he lets out a frustrated groan. "I think the brush is broken. It keeps going against my will, " He pouts, bringing his head up to stare at me, a disappointed expression etched on his face.

"I think it looks pretty, " I smile.

He raises a confused eyebrow and stares down at my toenails. "Really? It looks like a baby puked on it, " he frowns.

I grab his face and kiss his forehead. "It's fine. I like it."

He sighs and plays with the polish. "I can't believe I ruined the biggest toe, " he chuckles.

He moves on to the second toe, painting it more gently than the first. He ends up avoiding the edges, so the toenail only had polish situated at the center.

"Did you see Garry today?" he asks, throwing me a glance.

I sigh deeply and hug myself. I didn't want to talk about that. "Can we not talk about that?"

He gives me a quick stare before returning his gaze to my foot. "So Aaron's dating," he says casually.

I was grateful to him for changing the subject but freeze when his words register. Did Aaron tell them?

"Elliot. Supposedly, they've been together for six months, "He laughs softly.

"What? Wow, " I gasp in an overly dramatic way.

Gray stops laughing, and his hands freeze in place as he raises his head to stare at me. "You knew."

I point at my chest and shake my head. "Me? Of course, I didn't."

He gives me a blank stare and rests his hands on his chin. He didn't say a word, but his gaze propelled me to talk.

"I mean..i might have known, but-I..like.., " I stammer with my words, weighing his expression to know how much he knew.

He chuckles and pulls my cheeks gently. "You're cuter when you're flustered."

I smile at him and run a hand through my hair. "Okay, I knew. I caught them making out at a party once, " I sigh.

"At least, yours was a more decent sight, " he says.

"You caught them-, "

I broaden my eyes as I speak, and Gray confirms my thoughts by nodding his head. There was only one thing less decent that making out. And that was sex.

"Oh my God, " I giggle and cover my mouth in shock.

"The thing with Aaron being gay is that I've had a feeling all along, but just didn't want to believe it, " He shrugs and frowns when he stares at my nails.

He was done painting them, and let me tell you they were less decent than the ones I painted.

"Why?"

"His dad. Mr. Baker is a very conservative man, and if he knew Aaron was gay, he'd probably lock him up in a church or something, " he explains.

I pat my bed and ask him to sit next to me. He places my nail polish on my dresser before climbing into my bed.

"So, what now? Is Aaron going to keep his sexuality a secret from his dad?" I ask.

Gray nods his head repeatedly. "That's the only way to save himself."

I sigh and intertwine my hands with Gray, playing with his long fingers. I hadn't known Mr. Baker to be that type of man.

But then again, with everything going on, I can't trust my childhood memories anymore. Gray brings our intertwined hands up to his lips and kisses the back of my hand.

"How was your day?" I ask, realizing that I hadn't seen him all day.

He shrugs, still placing tiny kisses on my hand. "Could have been better. You?"

"Same."

"Want to get diamonds to make you feel better, " He grins cheekily.

I laugh and shake my head. "I'd rather eat ice cream this time."

He grabs my hand and pulls me up from my bed. "Then, let's go."

••••••••••

A/n: did you guys enjoy the flashback?