~

"Luca."

Why was she thinking about Luca while kissing me?

Unconsciously, Dove pulls away from me, her eyes trained on a figure behind me, a wave of regret flashed across her face. She didn't have a problem with me kissing her in secret, but she doesn't want me to kiss her in public. Because of Luca?

I turn to glare at Luca, but she stops me by placing her cold hand on my face, restricting my neck movement. "Don't Look, " She mutters in a low voice, her eyes staring down at the water.

"Why?"

"I feel bad, " She says and looks up at me with pleading eyes.

An indescribable feeling tugs at my heart, and it feels like concrete drying in my chest.

I nod with understanding and pull away from her. I jump out of the pool without sparing a glance at her, trying hard to mask my hurt. I could never understand Dove. One second, I think she wants me, the next, she's worried about some other guys' feelings.

I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't want me either. I don't deserve her, yet I wanted her. I know I'm selfish, but I can't help it. I didn't just want her. I wanted all of her- her emotions, smiles, kisses, and hugs. But it seems like Luca is still crouched up somewhere in her heart.

I was walking into the house when Zyair stops me. He assesses my mood and looks behind me before staring back at me. "Why are you sulking? She said your mouth stinks?" He jokes, laughing at himself.

I tighten my jaw and fold my arms around my chest. I wasn't in the mood for his jokes. "Want to die?" I give him a blank stare.

His laugh immediately turns into a scowl, and he places one hand in his shorts pocket. "Asshole, " he comments and takes a sip from his coke.

"Dickhead."

"Cocksucker."

"Pussylips."

Zyair bursts out laughing at my last comment, covering his mouth with the back of the hand that held the coke. "Who says pussylips?"

I bite my lower lips to stop myself from laughing but end up snickering due to the contagiousness of Zyair's laugh. "Stop making me laugh. I'm in a bad mood, " I say and hit his shoulders.

He laughs harder this time and bends to rest his hand on his knees. I stand still and cross my arms as I stare at him. "Are you done?" I say after he's finally calm.

He looks at my face and burst out laughing again. This time I walk away from him and go into the house. He follows me and throws his arm over my shoulders. "I'm guessing she called you a bad kisser, " Zyair comments again, and I nudge him away from me.

"I mean, it's been two years since you've last made out, " He adds, and I raise a brow at him.

His eyes widen when I don't say anything, and he covers his mouth. "Are you guys making babies in Dave's house?"

I cringe when Zyair says that because it reminded me of the time, Dave walked in on us making out. My little friend down there kept poking his head, and I'm sure Dave must have seen my boner too. The thought still makes me shudder in sheer embarrassment.

"Where's Aaron?" I ask, scanning the group of guys playing beer pong in the house.

"He and Elliot said something about playing beer pong or so, " Zyair shrugs. He squeezes his empty coke can and throw it in a bin five feet away from us. Of course, the can didn't get into the dustbin because Zyair has terrible aim. Instead, it lands on the beige colored rug.

"Thank God football is a sport, " I tap his back and bend to pick the can up before tossing it into the bin.

Zyair rolls his eyes at me and walks towards the guys playing beer pong. I follow suit and see Aaron is not anywhere around. "Where's Aaron?" I ask, Garrett, a friend of mine from the football team.

"Isn't he here? I saw him somewhere around?" Garrett replies and searched the room with his eyes. "He probably left, " he shrugs.

I give Zyair an inside look, and he had the same expression in his face. If no one knew where Aaron was, then he was certainly getting it on with some girl.

"Are you bored?" Zyair grins at me.

I nod, and we walk upstairs towards the rooms, knowing Aaron would be somewhere around. It has been a while since we've since Aaron with someone, and he rarely gives us details on his sex life anymore.

"Do we just open all the doors and go 'oh we're sorry we didn't know you were in here?" Zyair whispers.

I didn't want to do that. It would be weird walking in on strangers having sex. "We could knock and wait till we get a response, " I suggest.

Zyair strokes the side of his face with his palm before nodding. Doing this made me feel like we were fifteen-year-old boys again, trying to catch our friends having sex. Back then, sex seemed like such a big deal to us. Almost everyone already had sex by the age of sixteen.

We glorified sex and made it seem like you needed to have sex to become an adult. Most people had their first times with just anyone, but I was glad I did it with Kelch.

I would honestly regret losing my virginity to someone else. We only did it once, and sex after that has never been the same. Maybe, it's because it hasn't been with Kelch.

Zyair knocks on the first door, and we wait for a reply. When no one answers, we open the door and see an empty room. "On to the next, " Zyair raises his brow, and I nod.

There were only five rooms in the hall upstairs to check. Aaron had to be in one. "Honors?" Zyair asks and points at the second door.

I chuckle at his exaggeration and knock on the second door gently. "I'm naked!" a thin female voice is heard from inside the room.

"If you're not Gray stone or Timothee Chalamet, don't fucking come in, " She yells at the top of her lungs.

Zyair burst out laugh, but quickly covers his mouth with his hands. When he manages to stop, he tucks his lips in his mouth. "Free punani, bro, " He chuckles, and I shake my head at him.

"Remind me to call oxford Dictionary to change the spelling of stupid to Z-Y-A-I-R, " I roll my eyes and walk away from the door.

"Aww, I thought you were smarter than that, " Zyair cooes playfully.

I roll my eyes and raise my hands to my chest, waving in them the air, mimicking him. "I don't look like that, " He says and opens the third door, forgetting to knock.

"Yes, you define-, " My words get stuck in my throat and I freeze in place when I see the sight in front of me.

Aaron was in the room, and his naked buttcheek turned to us as a moan of pure ecstasy escapes his lips.

My eyes slowly shift to his source of pleasure and on his knees was, -

~~~~~~~~~~~

...She said, where'd you wanna go?

How much you wanna risk?

I'm not looking for somebody

With some superhuman gifts...

My room door slowly creeks open, and my dad walks in, his hands in his back pockets.

His lips move, but I couldn't hear him over my headphone. Sitting up straighter, I remove my headphone and give him my attention.

"Can I have a word?"

Dad and I still haven't had a proper conversation on the issue with Wendy because I keep putting it off, but I think I'm ready to hear what he wants to say.

He sits on the edge of my bed, turning his head in my direction. "Wendy is coming over today?" He blurts out.

His words make me frown, and I fold my arms across my chest. "Why?"

"She said Garry is your dad, and she wants you to meet him even if you don't want to get tested, " He replies, stroking the nape of his neck.

I liked his emphasis on She said.

"I'll only go if you want me to."

"It's not my decision to make, Dove. You're eighteen. You can decide for yourself what you want, " he chuckles and folds his arms in laps.

"Do you want me to go?" I ask.

Dad looks at me and shakes his head softly. "As much as I hate Garry, you might be his only chance of survival."

I bite the inside of my cheeks and sigh. Dad sounded nonchalant, almost as if he didn't care. "Do you hate me?" I ask in the heat of the moment.

His eyes snap to me, a soft expression flowing through them. "No, never. Why would you think that?"

I shrug and raise my shoulders. "I don't know."

Dad shifts closer to me and clasps my hand in his. "Dove, you're always going to be my first daughter, and I'll always be here for you until you don't need me anymore. I'm just trying to be calm because I don't want my emotions to influence your decision, " He explains, rubbing the back of my hands with the pad of his thump.

I feel the bitch, tears, fill my eyes again, threatening to spill out. I purse my lips and bite my lips. "I don't think I'll ever not need you, " I sniff my tears back.

Dad wraps his arms around me and rubs my back softly. "Don't worry. I've got your college fees covered, " he jokes, making me laugh in-between my tears.

And just like that. He made me feel better.

Someone knocks on my door, and Shelia's head pops in. "Am I interrupting something?" She asks when she sees me half laughing, half crying.

I wipe my tears as I pull away from dad and shake my head. Sheila gives me a small smile and walks into my room. "Wendy's here."

Dad looks at me, expectantly awaiting my decision. When I don't say anything, he speaks. "You just need to get tested. Think of it as charity work, " he persuades.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I guess I could go and see the man who abandoned me when I was little. He skipped changing diapers, but now he wanted my blood. The irony.

I couldn't believe the two people that were supposed to cherish me didn't think twice about throwing me away like it was my fault they cheated on their respective partners.

"I just need a minute to get changed, " I say and get up from my bed.

Dad smiles and pats my back. "I'll let her know."

I open my closet and let my eyes scan over my pile of clothes. I wanted to wear a modest but bomb outfit. I didn't care what they think of me, but I still wanted to make a good impression.

After a while, I decided against it when I remembered I was going to meet a dying person. So I just grab a pink sweater and a pair of blue jeans, wearing my white airforce1 on my feet.

Wendy was waiting for me in her car outside because dad refused to let her into his house. I get into her car without saying a word, wearing the seat belt.

"You look pretty, " She comments, trying to make small talk.

"I am pretty, " I reply, without batting an eyelash.

She chuckles and revs her engine before pulling out of the driveway. "Thank you for-, "

"I'm not doing this for you, " I cut her off. "I'm doing this for my dad. Dave, " I say his name, so she won't be confused about who my dad is.

"I know you're mad at me, but-, "

"I'm not mad at you at all. To be honest, I'm incredibly grateful you gave me away, but you pushed me to the best life I could ever get," I fake a cheery voice.

Her face contorts in a grimace of pain, and I feel somewhat satisfied. She doesn't say anything after that, and an eerie silence fills the environment.

I close my eyes and sink into my seat, playing the terrible game of candy crush as an attempt to pass the time.

After a while, Wendy pulls up to a house and switches off the car engine. "We are here, " She announces.

I open my eyes and glance at the building before returning my eyes to her. "Is this Garry's house?" I ask, feeling a heavy pit settle in my stomach.

Wendy nods her head and gets down from the car. I get down to and try and get a better view of the house. I point it and stare at Wendy with wide eyes. "Are you sure you aren't mistaken?"

She gives me a weird look and walks up to the porch. The porch of a very familiar house. I could draw a plan of the house with closed eyes. That's how familiar it was. A feeling of dizziness overcomes my body, and I place my hand on the car for support.

My chest tightens, and I place my hands on my chest, shaking my head slightly as my sight blurs. No, it can't be.

God, I'm just eighteen. I was expecting my life to get fucked up when I'm 23 looking for a job or something, not now.

Remember, when I said it was a small town. Well, I guess it was probably smaller for by parents. If this was Garry's house, I don't think I'll ever be able to hate him, neither would I be able to forgive him.

The owner of this house has been like a second dad to me. I looked up to him as much as I looked up to my dad. He couldn't be my dad. Maybe he moved, and this house now belongs to someone else.

When the front door opens, my body freezes in place. His daughter stands at the door, her eyes icy cold as she glares at me. "What are you doing here?" She raises her brow.

I turn to Wendy with the exact question in my mind. What the fuck am I doing here?

~~~~~~~~~~

❤️