《Discordant Sonata》Chapter 2: Blues (Part 2)
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Unexpectedly, Ladybug began to sing softly as she waited. He stopped in his tracks and whipped back around, mouth agape. That song... it couldn't be, there was no way. It was one that his mother used to sing to him when he was young; it held so many warm memories for him, of being comforted when he felt sad, of being loved when he was lonely.
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
It was as if time had stopped and the only thing that existed was Ladybug and her enchanting voice, her dulcet tones pulling on his heartstrings.
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
His heart felt both light and heavy at the same time. He wanted to run away but couldn't force himself to move his feet. He continued to gape at the silhouetted form, gently framed by moonlight and the lights below.
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
Minutes passed but it felt like an eternity. Fire burned in his chest and spread up his spine and down his limbs.
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow
There was no way this could be a coincidence, but if not that, then what else? Was it a sign? And if so, what did it mean?
Before he could continue down that line of thought, Ladybug turned her head and they made eye contact.
"Oh!" Ladybug squeaked and bounced to her feet. She wobbled at the ledge, then waved her arms to regain her balance.
"S-sorry! I'm sorry!" Adrien waved his hands apologetically. "I didn't mean to startle you."
Ladybug hopped down, almost stumbling down to where he was and stammered, "N-no, it's okay! I didn't know anyone else was up here. I wasn't paying attention, I'm a bit distracted tonight. This is a bit embarrassing, sorry." She wrung her hands together nervously as she rambled.
"No, it's not your fault, I didn't mean to intrude on your privacy. I was up here and heard your singing, and I didn't want to interrupt."
"Ohhh, you heard that, huh?" Her face reddened as her eyes darted away from him. "I only ever sing when I'm alone, I'm kind of shy about it, actually. I didn't realize you were here or I wouldn't ha-" She stopped suddenly and her face twisted a bit. "But wait... what are you doing here so late, Adrien? Is everything okay?" Her tone becoming urgent. "I should have asked you this from the beginning, are you alright??"
"Y-yeah! I'm fine, I just-- Wait, how do you know my name?"
Ladybug's eyes grew wide and she twiddled her fingers nervously, "Oh! Um, I- that is, you- I, uh... I saw you in a magazine!"
"Oh... right." Adrien felt so foolish, he felt like throwing himself into a bottomless pit. Of course she'd seen him before, there were billboards all over Paris with his giant, stupid face on them. Now she probably thought he was some sheltered, moronic simpleton who was out of touch with "regular" people; she would probably tell all her friends that Adrien Agreste was as sharp as a spoon. He'd never live it down, she might even--
"Anyway, is everything alright? You're out here all by yourself so late," Ladybug continued, her voice still laced with concern. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"
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"No! No, I'm fine, really," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks feeling warm. "My father and I were having a late dinner at Atelier Maître Albert. He went straight home afterwards but I had my bodyguard drive me here so I could get some fresh air," he lied.
Ladybug tilted her head slightly, a warm smile spreading across her face. "Well, as long as you're okay. Do you have a ride back home? Would you like an escort?" A second later her smile vanished and her head shot up. Her face contorted as her voice gradually rose in pitch and volume, "That is, not like an 'escort' escort! I meant, would you like an escort to take home? I mean, would you like to take home an escort? I mean, would you like for me to escort you to your house??" Ladybug's face was beet red at this point and she, too, looked like she was trying to find a hole to leap into.
Adrien's befuddled wide-eyed stare turned into a fit of giggles, and Ladybug smiled sheepishly for a moment, then joined in the silly laughter. By the end of it both teens were sporting matching doofy grins and pink tinged cheeks.
"I appreciate the offer, Ladybug, but I'll be fine. My driver is down on the street waiting for me." Adrien gave her the most reassuring smile he could muster.
It must have worked because she visibly relaxed and replied, "That's a relief. I wouldn't want anything bad happening to you. Paris can be pretty dangerous at night. That's when all the weirdos like to come out and cause trouble." Adrien felt his body tense a bit. He wondered if she included Chat Noir in her list of dangerous "weirdos".
He decided to try to pry a little about her thoughts on the subject, "What about you, Mademoiselle Ladybug? What are you doing out here so late at night? I'm sure you can handle yourself just fine, but if I recall, there was an akuma attack earlier so there probably won't be any more for tonight."
Ladybug shuffled her foot and replied, "You can just call me Ladybug, Adrien, no need to be so formal." She grinned at him bashfully, appreciating his courteousness. "I'm actually waiting for someone to show up." As soon as she said that she kicked herself internally, wishing she'd been able to come up with a vague excuse instead of the truth. But then again, her thinking always became muddled when she was with Adrien, so as usual, it wasn't meant to be.
Adrien was a bit taken aback at her straightforwardness. He wanted to know more about what she thought about his alter ego, so he inquired cautiously, "Oh. Are you waiting for a friend? Or... a 'weirdo'?" His anxiety climbed and he almost felt a need to hold his breath after asking her. This was about more than just gathering intel; her answer mattered so much to him at a personal level and he wasn't sure why.
She shrugged her shoulders and sighed wistfully. "Actually, I'm meeting with... someone who I'd like to get to know better. I'm hoping that maybe someday they'll want to be my friend too." She looked back up at him and smiled warmly, the sincerity in her words shaking him to the core. He genuinely felt that she wasn't trying to lure Chat into a trap or trick him. Not only that, but it looked like she truly wanted to befriend him, and not just recruit him.
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"Well, I hope you two have a good chat. UMM, that is--" he stammered, "I hope your meeting goes well. Anyway, I should get going." He smiled nervously, hoping she wouldn't notice his awkwardness and stumbling over his words.
She smiled brightly at him. "Thank you, Adrien." She stepped closer and extended her arm. "It was really nice to finally meet you in person." He shook her hand; her grip was firm but her slender fingers were soft and dainty.
"Likewise. Have a good night, Ladybug." For some reason he didn't want to let go of her yet. Holding her hand made him feel safer somehow, as if she was an anchor to keep him steady. He forced himself to let go and headed towards the door that led to the stairs.
He had scarcely taken two steps when Ladybug suddenly blurted out, "S-so, would you like to see a movie with me sometime?!"
Adrien whirled around and gaped at her. "W-what?"
Ladybug paused and her face looked like she'd been dunked in ice water. She'd totally forgotten that she wasn't Marinette right now. She suddenly waved her arms and sputtered, "Ohhhh my goodness, I AM SO SORRY, I don't know what came over me! I shouldn't have asked, that was super inappropriate! I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I really didn't mean to! I swear I'm not some creepy fan, it's just that--"
"I'd love to!" Adrien interrupted, shocking her out of her rambling. It was a perfect opportunity for him to compare her treatment of Adrien, to her treatment of Chat Noir. If she treated everyone with the same kindness she was currently showing, then maybe his father's ideal of Ladybug was wrong.
Ladybug's eyes popped wide open. "Y-you would?!"
Adrien's face felt hot and he screamed internally, his brain screeching something analogous to WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! Nevertheless, he replied, "Yeah! I would. Are you free on Sunday? Say, 8pm?"
"Yes! That sounds great! Sh-should I pick you up, or...?"
"I'll meet you at the Trocadero," he replied. Then he smirked at her cheekily. "I'll wear a red hoodie so you can find me easier."
Ladybug let out a giggle and beamed. "That would be wonderful! I'm looking forward to it."
Adrien took a few steps back and waved weakly at her, a dopey smile plastered on his face as he headed towards the stairwell. Ladybug's body felt like it was shaking and would implode at any second, but she managed to wave back.
Once he was out of sight, Plagg whisper-screamed from his shirt pocket, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"This way, I can see if she treats me differently," Adrien explained in a hushed whisper. "She can't be that perfect, can she?"
"Sure. Keep telling yourself that, kid."
"Nevermind, I need to go meet with Ladybug... again."
A few minutes later, a newly transformed Chat extended his staff from an adjacent building and vaulted onto Notre Dame from the opposite direction. He approached the area cautiously. Now that he wasn't Adrien, he couldn't have his guard down anymore. He wasn't entirely sure he could fully trust her, and that she wouldn't behave differently than when she was with a citizen. He slowly turned the corner, not sure what to expect. He certainly wasn't prepared to find Ladybug leaning on a wall staring out dreamily towards the city, the lights from below giving her an almost ethereal glow.
He walked up to her and she didn't even notice he was there until he was by her side. She really should be more careful, I could have taken her by surprise and stolen her miraculous, he thought to himself. He tried to get himself into his lighthearted "Chat Noir" mode and greeted her playfully, "Peekaboo, Bugaboo."
She yelped loudly in surprise, jumping backwards and nearly falling off the ledge... again... (had she always been this clumsy?) but Chat grabbed her arm at the last second and pulled her towards him, holding her steady by the waist.
They froze in place for a few moments, their near-embrace reminiscent from earlier that night when they had danced together, held each other close. They gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments, memories of tangled limbs and light touches of skin whirling through their heads, bringing up all those intense emotions from before.
He finally released her and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, silently hoping his face wasn't as red as he felt it, then took a small step back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright?"
Ladybug let out a nervous laugh. "I'm--I'm fine! Totally fine! I'm peachy! Haha!" She exclaimed a bit too loudly to be natural, then reached back and fiddled with her ponytail, trying to calm down.
"It seems I was 'juiced' in time. If you fell, you'd be nothing but 'pulp'," he quipped, winking.
"Well, I a-peach-iate the save." She smiled back at him. "A-anyway!" She slowly shook off the jitteriness and cleared her throat, her voice sobering as she smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles in her suit. "I'm really glad you came. H-how are you? Is... are you okay? How did everything go with... with your father?" She looked up at him apprehensively.
He looked away and inhaled sharply. He wasn't anticipating such a personal question right away. When he didn't answer after a long pause, she spoke up, "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I understand." She walked up to him when he remained silent and gently placed her hand on his forearm. The physical contact soothed him; he hadn't been comforted through touch in a really long time.
He turned to face her and smiled weakly, then replied, "Thank you. I don't think I can talk about it, at least not right now. It's..." He sighed. "Things are difficult."
She looked up at him, not with pity, but warmth and compassion in her eyes. With her other hand, she reached down and grabbed him by the hand. "Come on, I want to show you something." He squeezed back and followed her across the corridor (was he blushing again? Please don't let her think he was just permanently sunburned) until they reached a narrow alcove.
She let go of his hand and knelt down by one of the gargoyles, then brought out a small backpack. She motioned for him to sit next to her, at a concealed spot between two tall columns. She reached into the backpack and brought out a round metal tin and a thermos with two cups.
"I brought snacks!" she announced cheerfully and laid out the goodies she'd packed in her bag.
Ladybug was sweet and thoughtful; she'd brought a wide selection of teas in case he had a particular favourite, and she even remembered that he had once mentioned he'd liked chocolate chip cookies. When serving, she fussed over whether not he was lactose intolerant because these particular cookies went better with hot chocolate, and she'd even brought soy milk as a backup. Her foresight reminded him of his classmate Marinette and her fussing ways, and yet still felt so natural and wonderfully Ladybug, he couldn't help but smile.
"I didn't realize we'd be having a midnight picnic," he remarked gleefully.
Ladybug bit into a cookie and replied, "Well, this is our very first official 'hangout', so it's definitely considered a special occasion. Wouldn't you agree? Besides, no party would be complete without refreshments, and we definitely missed out on those earlier tonight. That was certainly an impressive spread. The next time we meet we should do lunch so I can make us those fancy finger sandwiches."
"Next time?" Chat asked. Countless thoughts swirled around in his head. Things were moving so fast, he wasn't sure how to handle them.
Ladybug seemed to backpedal a bit. "Oh! Um, that is... If you'd like to. Sorry if I'm getting ahead of myself. I didn't mean to presume..."
"No, no it's fine! It's... I..." Chat stammered. He smiled and tried to still his fast-beating heart. "I'd like that."
Ladybug smiled back, although she still seemed a bit nervous. "I'm glad," she replied, looking down at her drink and gently swirling the hot liquid inside. "I wouldn't want to scare you away by coming on too strong. The last thing I'd want is for you to think I'm only trying to use you. That I only want to 'turn' you and that I don't care about you as a person." She looked back up at him and looked into his eyes, almost pleading. "Please, even if you decide not to meet with me again, please believe me when I say that the last thing I'd ever want to do is to try to manipulate you or force you." She picked up another cookie, fiddling with it before continuing. "I have this friend. He has a very controlling family. It feels like none of the decisions he makes are his own and I know he hates it. He puts on a happy face every day, and maybe he even tries to convince himself that everything is okay, but whenever I see him I know that inside he's in pain." She placed the cookie down and made like she was about to touch his hand, but changed her mind at the last moment and rubbed her other arm instead. "I'm not able to help my friend, despite how much I'm dying to. I can help make his days a little brighter, but since I'm only a friend, I'm not able to treat the root of his problems."
This tangent felt so familiar to his own situation that it was uncomfortable to have it described in such a way. Chat looked at her, puzzled. "Why are you telling me all this?"
"Because I see you and you're the same way. I can tell that inside you are suffering. Deny it or call me presumptuous if you want, but that kind of hidden pain is unmistakable. I hardly know you but I do know of that pain. And I know that you could use some help. Or... or at least, a friend. It's okay if you can't confide in me right away but it's nice to be able to have someone to vent to, to blow off some steam with now and then. Hang out, pal around, make bad puns, and just forget about our regular, everyday lives for a little while."
Chat shrugged and shook his head. "Picnics and jokes are nice but we wouldn't be able to keep it up forever. You can't have a relationship with someone if you don't trust them."
Ladybug acquiesced. "I suppose that's true. Eventually you'd have to make a decision about if you'd like to trust me and actually become friends, or if you'd like to... t-to stay as you are."
He sighed and scratched the back of his neck again, nervously. "I don't mean to sound like a jerk. I would like to be able to trust you. I'd like to call you my friend, I really would. It's hard. Hawkmoth... my father... for as long as I've had my miraculous I've been told that you're an evil, awful person. That you don't want to help us because you want to keep the power of the miraculous all to yourself. But even still, I couldn't hate you. In fact, I--" his face reddened and he gathered up all his courage to continue, "I've always been d-drawn to you. I don't know if it's because our miraculouses are two halves of a whole, I mean, that's probably why, who knows. But I think you're a good person too, Ladybug. It's just that... leaving my father has never been an option, so spending time with you is something entirely foreign to me. I'd never even considered it before; it was never a possibility. I don't know what to do, I'm so confused." He squeezed his eyes shut and curled in on himself, as if shrinking would hide him. "I'm sorry," he said shamefully. "You must think I'm pathetic."
She frowned. She hadn't expected Chat to be so honest and open with her. He was laying all his cards on the table without hesitation, as if he genuinely wanted to place his trust in her, wanted to be able to rely on someone. He was afraid to let her in, terrified, even. But he also seemed desperate, and that seemed to be enough for him to at least be willing to try.
She touched him gently on the shoulder and he looked up at her. "Hey. It's okay to be confused, Chat. Don't be sorry that you don't know what to do. And please, don't ever be sorry for feeling the way you feel." Chat hadn't heard anyone say that to him before. She tried to bring back some levity into the conversation, "Anyway, let's worry about that some other time. You don't have to decide anything right away or know all the answers. For tonight, let's just enjoy each other's company and be happy with the 'now'." Then she added, feeling a bit nervous, "If that's still okay with you."
Chat beamed at her. "Yeah. That would be great."
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