As she began to regain consciousness, she caught bits and pieces of a conversation.

"My room is just through there," Karmin heard Viola say.

Her eyes began to flutter, and she was suddenly aware of the face she was in someone's arms. It was bright at first from the hallway lights, so she squinted, her eyes accustomed to the dark. But once her vision settled, she blinked rapidly, staring up to see Maddox's face. He was carrying her in what seemed like Viola's apartment.

"Vi..." spluttered Karmin, reaching out aimlessly for her.

Maddox glanced down at her in surprise, offering her a gentle smile. She looked away, the pit of anger in her stomach bubbling over.

"I'm right here," Viola called out, clutching her hand as they entered her bedroom.

Karmin was lowered onto the bed, grateful for the soft cushions that molded to her body. Her head was pounding, and she felt sticky with the blood and sweat covering her.

Maddox's hand lingered on hers, the bed indenting from his weight beside her legs, but she ripped it away. She didn't want to see him. Not quite yet after everything that happened. She knew she couldn't blame him for her loss, but... he was her weakness. Just like her Dad was.

"Do you want anything?" asked Rhys, who stood stiffly beside Viola.

She shook her head, staring at the purple ceiling. "I just want to be left alone, but," she muttered, "Viola, can you stay?"

"Of course," she said in a hushed tone.

"We'll be outside," assured Rhys, throwing her a positive smile her way as he left.

Maddox, however, stayed situated in his seat. "Can I... can I stay, too?" he asked quietly.

Karmin blinked away her tears, her throat beginning to burn from holding them in. "No," she choked out.

"Oh, okay," he murmured, hurt trickling from his voice. "I'll just go, then." He got up from his place, his head hung low.

She glanced at him, meeting his gaze momentarily, only to shut her eyes, squeezing them tightly. Once she heard the door shut, she opened her eyes, hoisting herself up. She quickly realized it was a mistake when her ribs shot pain through her body. She clutched her body, letting out a shaky breath.

The trickle of the tap was audible from the bathroom, so Karmin slowly swung her legs over the bed, pushing herself to her feet. The room blurred for a moment, but she used her arm against the wall to steady herself. With one hand on her side and the other on the wall, she shuffled to the bathroom.

Her breathing became heavier once she made it inside to see Viola gathering first aid supplied and wetting towels in the sink.

"Go lay down," ushered Viola, her eyes widening in concern.

Karmin waved dismissively, lowering herself down to the ground, and leaning against the cabinets. Viola sighed, shutting the door and kneeling on the tiles with band-aids, tape stitches, and towels.

"Are you doing okay?" Karmin questioned as Viola wiped the blood off her face. The crimson ink spread into the ivory towels, staining them permanently.

"How do you expect me to be okay when I just saw my best friend almost die?" fired back Viola with a soft tone.

"I didn't almost die."

"Well, it just might have been. Look at you," she said, gritting her teeth. "This was the worst fight so far, and that's not saying much."

"I told you not to come," remarked Karmin as Viola angled her head to the side to get the remaining blood.

"And let you go without me? Never. I don't regret coming," Viola said firmly.

Karmin nodded, attempting to smile, but the swelling of her jaw made it difficult.

"You didn't answer the question? Are you okay?" she repeated once more.

"I won't be able to sleep for the next week, but I'm good," Viola said, trying to joke. "But the more important question is, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Karmin said immediately.

"I don't believe you," Viola rejected, holding her face in her hands. "Are you okay?"

The fight flashed in her mind. How she almost had him, and what he said to her. About her Dad. About Maddox. It got to her.

Karmin bit her lip to stop it from quivering. She swallowed, pushing away the tears that pooled in her eyes. "I'm fine," she hissed.

Viola sighed. "Let me ask you again. Are you okay?"

Her mind replayed how Ares dragged her to the edge of the ring. She was so defenseless. She was weak and helpless. She hated feeling that way. The pain that coursed through her body when her face made contact with the cold metal. It was unforgettable.

Karmin pushed away Viola's hands. "I'm f-fine," she stuttered, her breathing coming out in raspy turns. Her chest felt tight and heavy as her ribcage moved up and down in sporadic beats.

"I'm going to ask you one last time," Viola whispered, her voice now shaking. "Are you okay, my love?"

The warm blood that spilled down her face. Her skin splitting open. The fear that now had permanently clutched her brain and heart. She couldn't shake off the feeling. She couldn't do this anymore. She didn't want to.

The past few months of piling her feelings bubbled over, and the next thing she knew, uncontrollable tears fell down her cheeks, and her shoulder shook.

"I'm not okay," she cried, crumbling into Viola's arms. "I can't do this anymore."

"Oh, love," Viola cooed, rubbing her back and settling her chin on Karmin's head.

"I'm so tired," choked out Karmin through her waves of tear as she tightened her embrace around Viola. "I can't sleep. I can't focus. Everything's gone to shit. I thought I was handling it, but... I'm not. I'm such a failure. I can't even help my own father."

"No, don't ever say that," denied Viola. "You're doing the best you can."

"My best isn't good enough," she said, hiccupping with shallow breaths. "I hate myself," whispered Karmin as she succumbed to the weeks of demons that trailed her every path.

Viola put her hands on either side of her face, wiping away the tears and blood. "You are putting yourself in danger to help him. No one would do that," she said, staring her dead in the eyes. "You have gone above and beyond. You are so strong, Karmin."

Karmin sniffled, trying to stop the salty tears that stung her cuts, but it seemed impossible. She was so sick of everything. There hadn't gone one day that she hadn't held her breath because it pained her too much from breathing or wincing whenever she moved in the slightest.

She wanted to run away. Pack her bag and take the bus somewhere. She didn't know where exactly. Maybe some strange town where people left their doors unlocked or a city so loud she didn't have to be left alone with her thoughts.

She wanted to leave all her problems behind. But she didn't have that luxury. Not when people needed her. Not when she was abandoning the people she loved. Her parents, Aaliyah, Viola, and... the boy with green eyes.

"Is everything okay?" she heard Maddox call out as he knocked on the door.

Karmin didn't speak, but instead, shut her eyes and sank into Viola.

"Can we talk, Karmin?" he asked, his voice cracking. "Please, Kar?"

"I don't want to," she whispered to Viola.

Viola nodded, understandingly. "Later, Maddox. Not now, okay."

So, there stood Maddox on the other side of the door, his palm against the wooden boundary and his heart heavy.

And there Karmin was, in the arms of her best friend on the floor of the bathroom, crying and crying until her soul felt empty and her mind numb.

***

Author's Note:

Hi!!

Woah, that was a pretty emotional chapter, huh? I was in a pretty weird, heavy mood while writing this, so I think it turned out better than expected.

Until next time – m.k.t