《dreamclot ~ poetry》milena texts kafka and says
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trust me, if you can
find the difference between
what you don't want and
what you can't have, then
you can call this slog a life.
who can go through you and come
out alive? any volunteers?
only small whys can fend off
the claws of the big why.
try to trust me, i've seen them
scuttle like civets on the roof
of my mind, their bright red eyes
pinpricks of sight in the darkness
and the darkness yet to come.
~ ajay
26/5/2022
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As a reader, Cristopher always looked for things that entertained him, didn't matter what the "critics" said, all that matters was his own opinion on the novel, so he started reading "The Novel's Extra", a webnovel that despicts an author who is transmigrated to his own novel. It was fun and all with its own good and bad points, really, one of his favorites novels at the end of the journey, and that's taking into account the little fact that he didn't have too many things he was able to enjoy, not in that empty shell that was called life for him... Why could someone be born like that? With a void inside, an endless void that slowly consumes oneself... But... for better or worse... everything changed one day, the same day he woke up to discover he had the same faith of the author whose novel he just finished reading, becoming an extra in a novel, becoming The novel's extra's extra... /Ok, now that's the description I thought of... first of all, for those of you who are reading this, if any, a few points I have to make clear: 1. I'm not an english native speaker, so if you find anything wrong in the text, please let me know, that would help me learn, and I would be thankful for that.2. I'm writting this out of pure "enjoyment", so while I'll try to be constant, I'll not make any promises.3. True reason why I'm writing this is because I'm going through a moderate to crippling depression right now (and no, is not because anything trully bad and horrendous happened to me, it seems to have something to do with my brain's malfuctioning, among other things), and doctors told me to try writing as I enjoy reading. So yeah, this is more like a self-help excercise, to keep myself distracted while trying to be safe from my self.4. I choose to make a fanfiction of "The Novel's Extra" as I don't trully know how to write, and because I really loved that webnovel, though there are some points I didn't particulary liked.5. If you see some (let's be clear, really much) self insertion on this series, well, that may be me trying to escape reality, to which I make an early warning and disclaimer, and also ask for forgiveness, as I said before, this is more of an excercise, so don't take it too serious.6. I'll be a slow writer, as I have to still check a few things from the novel, even when I've read it like 3 or 4 times already, and because I know shit about writing a novel or a series.7. If you get to enjoy this, then that's good, I would be glad about it, maybe even more motivated, but I don't really expect this to be any good. Thanks to you all who may, or may not, be reading this novel./
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