they're going to be happy

that their paths crossed

and they're going to be sad

that they have to part ways.

i have neither joy nor sorrow

i have nothing but a vague feeling

of cluelessly drifting from one

unnamable dread to another

a feeling that fits me

as snug as a primal fear.

i don't know what's worse—

the fact that all this is going to end

or the fact that i don't feel sad

about it all ending?

i've had it upto here

and there, and oh there too—

i'll have to sit down and scrub

this saturation away, as if i've just returned

from a funeral, and then i'll have to get

dressed again, as if for another funeral.

~ ajay

6/6/2022