Louise's POV

"Louise!! Are you home?!!... I'm going out for grocery shopping, take care of the house. If you need anything, tell me, I don't want you make a fuzz later. " I heard Maa shouting from down stairs and I walked out of my bedroom to the stairs.

"I can come with you if you want. "

"are you indirectly saying I'm old?" she said squinting her eyes to glare at me and I shook my head.

"No. I was just.... Asking?" I said scratching the back of my neck.

"what's with the face? Did you break up with your boyfriend?" she said with a teasing smile.

"Maa... I don't have-"

"hush. I'll bring home some ice cream for you, so you be a good boy and watch the house. Later we can talk about what happened, sounds good?"

"count Momma out of it. I'm not talking to her. " I said and she laughed at my expression knowing exactly why don't want Momma to be involved.

"Don't want the boss to question your bisexuality?" she asked again teasingly and threw a packet of gems my way which I caught easily. "don't worry about her, she has to stay at restaurant tonight, so it's going to be us mother and son bonding time, I'll bring a movie. "

"maa.... we have Netflix."

"oh. " she said almost clueless to the fact, and it made me chuckle at her.

After she left, I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling above and thought about what happened yesterday. No matter how many times I decide to not remember it, it just keeps coming back to me.

"Kayla, can we talk?" I asked Kayla, and she was restless, I saw her looking for someone in the crowd.

"I'm busy Louise. " she said with an annoyed face as she huffed at me.

"I won't bother you after this. " I said with a serious tone and she looked at me warily and nodded as we walked to a side, away from other students.

"speak" she said annoyed, as she was still somewhat agitated.

I never understood why she do this to me. Two year ago when I saw her andI fell for her and I purposed her many times but everytime she ignored me and brushed me away.

"Kayla, for the last.... And final time. Will you-"

"no!" she answered before I could even ask her and a sad smiled covered my face as I looked at with sadness in my heart. I nodded at her but I couldn't meet her in the eyes.

"okay"

"seriously Louise. I don't understand why are you always running after me. I ignored you many time so that you would back away, I didn't want this to happen like this. You are not my type Louise, that's why I always ignored you, I want this to be over now, So please Louise stop it and never ask me again. "

Her sharp words hurt me but I nodded.

"I promise that it won't happen again" I told her and she nodded as she walked away in search of whatever she was looking for.

I didn't know I was crying until the teardrop reached my ear leaving a cold sensation and I quickly wiped it away and sniffed.

Okay Louise. That's enough!

You followed her like a puppy for two years and now it's time to end it.

I said to myself and sat up in my bed. I took a deep, I don't know what else to do, so I decided to clean my room. I'm a neat freak or so what my mother says.

After cleaning I picked up the garbage and walked downstairs, Maa was standing at door with groceries in her hands.

"You cleaned you room again. You cleaned it yesterday. "

"I'm going to drop these in the trashcan outside. " I informed her and heard a mumbled okay from her. She took the groceries in the kitchen and I stood there, conflicted in my own thoughts, should I tell her or should I not.

And I decided to tell her. "I gave up on her, Maa"

She at once ran out of the kitchen and her huge eyes watched me like I'm some extinct creature that came to life.

"really?!!!" I chuckled at her response and started walking out of the door, not stopping when she called me.

Yup she knows. She knows everything.

I dropped the waste in the bin, and sighed. I should stop wasting paper so much. (a/n - he writes a lot, he's a math genius, so opposite of me. )

"are you okay?" she asked as I walked in and then to her and hugged her, finally letting tears fall as I cried on her shoulder.

"I gave up on her for good. "

"it's okay Little bunny it's okay. " I told her everything that happened and she was angry at Kayla but I calmed her down.

I'm just glad she didn't keep me hanging again. Now that I finally know her answer, I can move on.

But how?

**************

"Maa. Can I change my hair colour?" I asked her randomly as she looked up at me with excitement dancing in her eyes.

"okay. I got what you mean, let's go to saloon right now!" she said happily as she jumped and clapped her hands.

"momma won't be mad right?" I asked in worry cause Mamma is someone who hate all these things like piercings, tattoos and everything that is not your body part. She is the old style gal and I hate it sometimes cause I'm like her too.

Old style like momma and a naive person like Maa. Both of their traits are dominant over me.

"come on you are not a kid any more. Live a little. " she told me and I smiled as she dragged me to my car and I drove us to her favorite saloon.

*********

"what colour?"

"something completely different from these brown ones and something that go with his Blue eyes. "

"hmm. Okay Louise, last moment for you to turn back" said my mom's friend that is a hair stylist and work at this place.

"do it please" I said confidently and Maa chose some hair colour for me.

"you'll know what colour it is when it's done. First I'm gonna bleach your hair and then I'm going to colour them. " She said happily and I nodded as the hair stylist started to do her work and I just helplessly looked from the mirror as she covered my head with something and started to add the something on it.

"close your eyes, open them when I'll tell you. Okay son?"

Said the hair stylist and I nodded as I closed my eyes and waited patiently.

Why am I doing all this?

That's because if I want to change myself and become a new person. Heart breaks makes you bullshit things and I'm going through this right now.

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