ALEC

I could feel myself slipping away. My vision began to get blurry and I became extremely dizzy. For my last final seconds I closed my eyes and heard the screams of my siblings. I tried to say I was sorry. I tried to say I was sorry for leaving them, but I couldnt fight any longer. The pain was to much for me to handle.

I was surrounded by complete darkness. I heard and saw nothing. My feet were not grounded to anything. It felt like I was floating in the air.

I wanted to call out into the darkness, but my voice got caught in my throat. Instead I just floated in the air, helpless. "I guess this is it. For eternity just floating in darkness." I thought to myself with sadness. I longed for my family. I longed for the ground. For the light.

After a few moments, I gave into my sadness and frustration. "Give me back my family!" I screamed into the darkness. My voice got caught slightly, but I didnt care. No one was listening anyway.

As if it was a miracle my feet were instantly grounded. I fell onto my knees. I immediately touched the ground with my hands. It felt like grass. Instantly there was a bright light that surrounded me. I shut my eyes, but the light seemed to begin going through them. After a few moments they finally adjusted and I opened my eyes.

I was surrounded by green grass and trees. I began to listen to my surroundings. There was the sound of a stream and birds chirping. It seemed...happy. I felt happy. I had forgotten everything. My family, my worries, my troubles....everything. I smiled out of joy.

I was so caught up in my thoughts I didnt even hear the sound. "Alec Lightwood." I heard a voice say. I whirled around and was face to face with an angel. The angel. "Raziel?" I asked in question. He nodded. "Yes." He replied before speaking again. "We need to talk Mr. Lightwood. But it is unfair for you when your mind is not in its normal state." He said. I was extremely confused at what he had said.

Before I could ask, everything came rushing back to my head. My family, my troubles, my worries, and my current situated. "What the hell?" I muttered. I had no idea what was happening. "That's better." He said. I looked back at him and then at my surroundings again. I was no longer by the stream and the rocky terrain. I was no longer filled with joy. I was in a dark forest with nothing but hurt and Raziel.

"I want to go back to my family." I told him. He chuckled. "What?" I asked him slightly annoyed. "You're dead. You cant go back." He replied. I shook my head. "Impossible. Magnus would have healed me. I'm not dead. I'm breathing." I told him not convinced.

"Oh the Warlock tried to save you, but he was to late. You are dead in the mundane world, but not here. Here you are with me where others before you have come." He explained. I shook my head again. "Please. I have to go back. I cant leave them." I said desperately. "Please. Let me go back." I pleaded.

I watched as he tilted his head in thought. After what seemed like hours he spoke. "Alright," he began. "You can go back to your family." He said. I sighed with relief. "Thank you." I said. "But," he continued. "Great there's a catch." I thought to myself. But I would do anything.

"You have to pass my tests. You have to prove to me that you are worthy enough to go back to your old life." He said. I nodded my head eagerly. "Easy." I said to myself. "What's the test?" I asked him.

"I will be analyzing you, but you will not always see me. I will come up every now and then to give you different instructions." He began. I was listening closely. "To you, it will feel like an alternate universe. Like the one your friend Clary went through. You must hold onto something to keep you to your true self. If not your mind will be forever lost in that world." I swallowed hard knowing how difficult this was going to become.

"Once inside, I will give you a two difficult tests. Fail either test and you will be forced to stay here. You will be supplied with your weapons of choice." I nodded. "Bow, arrows, Seraph blade." I said to him. He granted me my requests. "I'm ready." I said to him once I was finished with my gear.

"I must warn you Alec. Many of your ancestors have begged me for the same thing you have asked of me. And many of them have taken these tests and failed. No one has come out of it alive. Are you sure?" He asked me. I knew how much of a risk it was, but I was willing to take that chance. "Yes." I replied. He nodded and with a wave of his hand he was gone.

Once again my surroundings changed. I was back at the stream and rocky terrain. I waited for my first test to begin. As if he was reading my mind, Raziel appeared in the air. "Your first test: dont get caught." He said. I nodded and he was gone. I took a deep breath and began walking.

After a few moments of complete silence I heard a loud scream. It sounded like a battle cry form a demon. I turned around and saw an army of demons on the cliff that was above my head. One by one they began to drop down to where I was. I took off running. Where I was going I didnt know. All I knew was that I couldn't get caught.

I could sense that the demons were getting closer and I ran faster. I ran straight for the small forest that magically appeared in front of me. Once I had run into the middle of the dark forest I began to climb one of the trees to get a good advantage point. Once I reached the top I grabbed my bow and arrow and aimed it for the grounds where the demons would be. I held my breath as I waited for the first one to arrive.

The silence was slowly killing me. It was making me anxious. I tried to concentrate on finding a sound and I did. I heard a faint cry of demons. The sound got louder and louder. My eyes snapped open and I saw them coming straight for the tree I was in. I fired my first arrow and hit a demon straight through its heart. It screamed and disintegrated. The rest came like a flood. There had to be at least a hundred of them.

One after the other I fired my arrows taking out one at a time. Something felt off though. It felt to easy. "I would have thought this would be harder." I thought to myself.

Immediately they got tougher. The demons began to climb the tree towards me. My eyes widened and I fired faster. But I wasn't fast enough. The first one reached me and I pulled out my Seraph Blade. I cut and stabbed the demons one by one, but they kept getting stronger. There was no where for me to go. And it wasn't like I could move around. I tried to keep my balance and fight at the same time.

I began to realize why my ancestors didnt make it through. "I'm sorry." I said out loud. Just before the demons completely surrounded me and killed me, I made my decision. I jumped. As I was falling, my mind was completely on my family. My home. I longed to see Jace and Izzy and Max training in the Institute completely unharmed. Well.... except for their pride when I kicked there butts. I smiled at the thought of Max as a new shadowhunter. I was sad I wouldn't have been able to see him grow up.

I was waiting for the impact of the ground to kill me instantly, but I was still falling. Out of nowhere I heard the familiar honking of horns from cars. I opened my eyes and realized I was laying down on the sidewalk. I got up in confusion. "Wasn't I just in a forest with demons on top of me?" I asked myself. I closed my eyes and opened them again. I was in New York. The familiar part of New York. I turned around suddenly with hope.

Behind me was the Institute. I smiled and got up immediately. I ran faster than ever towards the door. Once inside I ran to look for my siblings. Luckily I didnt have to run far. I saw Izzy and Jace walking towards the bedroom. I sprinted upstairs to Izzy's room where they currently where. I threw the door open and they both turned in surprise. "Izzy, Jace!" I said while running to them.

I collided with Izzy and gave her a huge hug. Once I parted from her I went straight to Jace and hugged him. They chuckled. "Whoa. What happened Alec?" Jace asked while laughing. My heart sank as I realized I wasn't really at home. It was all still apart of the stupid test. I tried to play it off. I laughed with them. "Nothing, guess I just missed you guys. I feel like I haven't really been with you guys cause I'm always working." I replied.

"Working?" He laughed again and Izzy joined in. "It must be so exhausting being over at Magnus's 24/7!" He said with a laugh. "What?" I asked him confused. He just chuckled again and hit my shoulder lovingly. "Ahh, it doesn't matter. Come on, Izzy, Max, and I were just about to go on a demon hunt. Wanna come?" He asked me. I nodded my head and followed them.

About a half hour later the four of us had reached the swarm of demons. Without hesitating we attacked. It felt so good to fight again. I felt like my old self. My real self. As I was thinking, my vision went blurry for a second. After a few seconds it went back into focus. I had forgotten everything. My worries, my troubles, and my mission.

"Behind you!" I called out to Jace. He turned around and killed the demon that was behind him. "Thanks!" He called back. I smiled. This was easy.

After we had killed them all and put away our weapons we began our walk back home. I had turned my back on my family for a few seconds while I wiped some blood of off my blade before placing it back where it belonged.

"Alec." I heard Izzy say in a worried and frightened tone. I turned back around and saw the three of them in chains kneeling on the ground. My eyes grew wide and I tried to go closer to them, but I couldnt. Something held me back, but no one touching me. "Alec Lightwood. Here is your final test." Raziel said. I looked up and saw him. He walked over to me and placed a blade in my hand.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked him. "You will choose one of the four to kill." He replied. "No." I said fiercely. "If you refuse, you fail the test." I looked back to the chained group in front of me. "Alexander." I heard the fourth voice say. I snapped my head and saw Magnus chained as well. "Wh–what is he doing here?" I asked Raziel. "He is one of the four you must kill." He said. I stood there not knowing what to do.

"You must choose Alec. But I have to tell you..." he began and I looked back up at him. "The one you choose will be lost forever in the mundane world that you want to go back to." He said. I stared at him in disbelief. "I can't choose one of them. They are my family!" I yelled at him. "You must. Or you will stay here forever and never see them again." He replied. My blood ran cold.

Without warning my vision wen blurry again and I lost all my memories... again. Without hesitation I walked up towards the group. "Alec? What's going on?" Jace asked me. "I must kill one of you." I replied nonchalantly. "Alec, you cant." He said. I laughed. "I'm not going to kill you." I said and looked at Magnus. "I'm going to kill him and save you all. Its the only way." I told him. I walked over to the Warlock. He had tears in his eyes. "Alexander." He said with sadness. I didnt care. I had a mission and I was going to do whatever to pass my test. I had no feelings for what I was doing.

"Alec, listen to me." Izzy began. "You cant do this. You have to stop. You dont know what you're doing." Suddenly the situation changed and she spoke differently. "You have to do what is right for your family Alec. He's a Warlock! He deserves to die anyway. Don't be weak. Alec dont do it. You can fight this. He deserves to die. Don't do it. He deserves it. You have to stop. No one will miss him. Be strong. You will be pathetic and weak if you dont do it. Alec." Her voice went on and on. I felt nauseous and dizzy.

Everything began to spin and I didn't know what to do. I wanted everything to stop. I wanted to go back home. I wanted to wake up form this nightmare. All I could focus on was trying to get peace, but all I could hear was Izzy telling me two different things. It overwhelmed me until I snapped. "STOP!" I screamed at everyone while closing my eyes.

Instantly everything was still and quiet. I felt peace. The memories of past event flashed through my mind. Memories of Jace and Izzy. Memories of Clary and Simon. Memories of my parents and Max. Memories of Magnus. It was all familiar. Throughout the entire test I was so worried about them that I didnt realize I was the test. It was a test to see my true character.

I opened my eyes again and saw them all still sitting there. I took a deep breath and smile. "I'm sorry I didnt get to say goodbye to you all. I know it's not the same, but at least I can say it to people who look like you." A tear fell from my eye. "Thank you for everything you have done for me. And for putting up with how stubborn I was." I turned towards Magnus and more of my tears fell. "I'm so sorry for keeping things from you. I hope someday you will be able to forgive me and find someone else to be able to share your worries and concerns to. Someone who will love you as you loved me." I smiled at him and he did something I would have never expected. "I do forgive you Alexander." He said. I nodded and backed away from them. At the last second I turned towards Jace. "I'm sorry for leaving you. As my parabatai I cant imagine what pain you are going through. I hope one day you will be able to overcome the pain." I said. He sat there just blinking emotionless. I smiled a sad smiled.

I took a deep breath. "Hail and farewell." I said out loud to myself since no one else would considering their emotionless state. I raised the blade to my chest. I closed my eyes and shoved it through my heart. I choked on my own blood and fell to the floor instantly. Blood ran from my mouth and onto the ground.

Everything went blurry and for my last few seconds, all I thought of was my family.

I didnt know what afterlife I was in. Everything was dark and cold again, but I wasn't moving. I felt nothing. I thought nothing. Out of nowhere I heard a voice calling out to me. In an instant Raziel was standing before me in the darkness.

"Alec Lightwood, you have passed both of the tests I have given you. You have proven yourself worthy of a second chance in the mundane world. You are the only shadowhunter who has ever passed this test." He told me. "Can I go home?" I asked him. "Yes." He replied to me.

I woke up gasping for breath. I coughed repeatedly trying to bring air into my lungs. I felt something jump and my vision refocused. In front of me was Max sitting on my bed. "M–Max?" I asked in a hoarse voice. I watched a tear fall from his eye as he yelled for Jace and Izzy.

I could hear people coming into the room. "Alec?!?!" I heard Izzy cry. She ran over to the bed and threw her arms around me. Max crawled up into my lap and hugged me to. They were both crying into me. When they both parted I looked at the doorway. Jace was standing with tears streaming down his face. I could tell he couldnt move. He was in complete shock.

I quickly got out of the bed and ran up to him. I threw my arms around him and he did the same. "I thought you were dead." He whispered to me. "I'm right here." I said. "I'm right here."

Max and Izzy came and joined us once more in the hug. "Alec, how are you here?" Jace asked in the silence. I ran my fingers through my hair anxiously. "It's a long story. One I will tell you soon, but for now where is Magnus?" I asked in desperation. I had to make sure he was still alive and Raziel didnt kill him anyway.

"He went home." Izzy replied. I nodded my head at her. I wanted to go to him now. I wanted to make sure he was alright, but I knew I couldnt leave my family like that. As if Izzy was reading my thoughts, she put her hand on my shoulder and spoke. "Go. We'll be fine." She said. I smiled at her. "Thank you." I said and a tears ran down my face. I then took off towards Magnus's apartment.

After about five minutes of running I made it to his floor where his loft was. I knew the door would be unlocked so I let myself in. "Magnus?" I called out to the silence. Fear raced through my mind when I heard no response. "Magnus?!" I called again. I heard a faint noise coming from the bedroom.