The sunbeams outside my window hit my face and I groaned as I rolled on my stomach, covering myself with the thick fabric of my blanket. I'm not much of a morning person. I probably snoozed for about 5 minutes before my alarm went off. I got out of the blanket and stretched.

I got off my bed and headed for my bathroom for a shower. After 30 minutes, I walked over to my closet and proceeded to dry my hair as I picked out my clothes. I threw on my clothes which consisted of a black and pale yellow button-up sweater vest over a white lace collared long sleeve top tucked into dark blue jeans with brown leather ankle zip-up boots. I straightened my hair and applied some red lipstick on. I grabbed my phone and car keys and placed it in my black Louis Vuitton crossbody bag.

I headed downstairs and grabbed some toast and a thermos of mango smoothie I had made the night before. I locked my front door and walked over to my car. I buckled my seat belt and drove to Mingde.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I was walking through the halls, looking for the boys. It was still early and from what I know, first and second-period class had just ended so it was a little crowded. I walked around for another few minutes when I finally Meizuo and Ximen talking and walking.

"GUYS!" I called as I waved them over. They both stopped and looked over where I was. They smiled and walked over, giving me a hug.

"Hey Shui. We missed you! You weren't answering our texts or messages!" Ximen dramatically complained while Meizuo and I laughed.

"Ximen, you know exactly where I live. You could've just dropped by." I sarcastically answered as Ximen glared at me.

"Where's Ah Si?" I asked as I looked around for F4's leader who was nowhere in sight. They both looked at each other then back at me.

"What?" I asked, confused. We started walking.

"Ah Si has been avoiding Lei and us all together. He didn't come to class earlier." Meizuo explained worriedly. I frowned.

"Lei has been spending a lot of time with Shancai lately," Ximen said. I sighed and closed my eyes in frustration.

"Where's Lei?" I asked.

"We don't know. He hasn't been himself either. Maybe he's-" Meizuo trailed off as he looked ahead and stopped walking which caused me and Ximen to stop and look as well. Lei.

"Lei. Let's talk." Ximen called out while Lei had his back to us. I stood in between Ximen and Meizuo and I could hear the students around us gossiping about Shancai and Lei.

We walked closer but I stopped when I saw Ah Si from the corner of my eye. So I stepped back and went to give him a hug which he returned. I could see in his eyes that he was masking his pain with anger.

"You okay?" I asked worriedly. He gave me a weak smile and nodded.

"You know Ah Si likes Shancai a lot, right?" Ximen said which caused Lei to turned around and face all of us. I turned to look at Ah Si who kept his eyes trained on Lei. I looked at Lei and his eyes held so much regret and sadness.

"I know. What is there to talk about?" Lei answered as he turned to leave.

"Huaze Lei. What is going on? Are you really dating Shancai?" Ximen pressed.

"No way, right? You wouldn't do anything to hurt your friend." Meizuo asked, hoping for the latter.

"Lei, have you lost your mind after losing Jing? You could've gotten any another girl. You know Shancai is Ah Si's--" Ximen continued but was cut off by Ah Si.

"Ximen!" He said which caused the Meizuo and Ximen to look back.

"Ah Si." Ximen said, not noticing he was there the whole time. I walked in pace with Ah Si but kept my distance between him and Lei and opted to stand behind him.Ah Si walked until he was face to face with Lei, walking past me, Ximen and Meizuo.

"Lei, listen carefully. From today onward, you are no longer my friend!" Ah Si exclaimed.

"Ah Si. Are you really going to kill our friendship over a girl?" Meizuo angrily said.

"I'm not the one who killed our friendship. It was Huaze Lei." He menacingly spat, purposely bumping into Lei as he walked away.

"Ah Si, don't do this," Meizuo called out as Ah Si left. Lei looked at me in regret. I frowned and stepped forward.

"I think it's about time you and I talked. Zuo. Ximen. Give us some privacy please." I said as I turned to the two boys behind us. They looked at each other and then back at me. Ximen left first but Meizuo stayed. I sighed.

"You too Zuo. Please?" I asked.

"But Shui-" He started to complain but I held my hand up.

"I'll come to find you after okay?" I reassured him as I smiled. He sighed and nodded at me as he went to follow Ximen. After he left, I turned back to Lei. I gave him a weak smile and he stared back at me. I gestured for him to walk with me.

"So.. you wanna tell me what's going on with you and Shancai?" I asked as I put my hands in my jean pockets as we walked. Lei kept his silence and stopped for a while. I stopped too.

"Shuijing..about what I said to you at the rooftop.."Lei started but I held up my hand to stop him.

"It's okay Lei," I said dismissively but he shook his head as tears started falling from his eyes.

"No! It's not. You're my little sister and I would never forgive myself if you got hurt. After Jing left, I swore to myself that I'd protect you from anything but in the end, I was the one who ended up hurting you." He said as tears continued to fall. I frowned and my eyes started tearing up. I pulled Lei in for a hug as he sobbed on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Shui..I'm so sorry." He croaked out as I let my tears fall as well. We stayed like that for a good 5 minutes before I pulled away.

"Enough of that now okay? Besides my make up is all blotchy, look!" I joked as I gestured to my messy eyeliner which resulted in Lei laughing.

We sat down on a bench near Shancai's department.

"Lei, seriously. What's with you and Shancai? Are you really dating her? Do you like her? I asked.

"I don't know." He answered. My eyebrows furrowed.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked. He sighed.

"I'm well aware that she likes me Shui..But I don't really know how I feel about her. What I know is that I kissed her because I wanted to but I regret hurting Ah Si. You should've seen his face when he saw us. He was so broken." he said as he looked down. I placed my hand on top of his.

"It'll be okay Lei. Just talk to him okay? Ah Si is short-tempered but you know he can't stay mad at you forever. But for now, I'm scared of what he might do to you and Shancai." I said as my mind drifted off to Ah Si. Lei rubbed circles on my hand and gave me a small smile.

"Don't worry Shui. I'll fix this. I won't let Ah Si hurt Shancai. She's a good person and she doesn't deserve anything bad that Ah Si throws at her." He said and I smiled.

"There's the Lei I know," I said as I leaned on his shoulder.

"Hey," he said as he nudged me. I hummed in response.

"So what's new with you? Have you told Meizuo you love him yet?" He said nonchalantly and my eyes widened as I covered his mouth with my hand to shush him. I looked around to see if anyone had heard. He laughed as he removed my hand.

"Shui, you don't have to hide it you know? It's obvious to everyone how much you love him. Well, everyone but him." He teased which resulted in me pouting.

"Hmph. Nothing's new Lei. We're still best friends and that's that." I dismissed.

"Shuijing, I think you should tell him. You've been in love with him for more than 10 years. He deserves to know Shui.." He advised as I looked down.

"I can't Lei," I said sadly.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because if I do, what will become of our friendship? I don't wanna lose him Zuo. I want him to be by my side always even if it's just as my best friend." I said which made Lei look at me.

"Are you sure that's the only reason Shui?" He asked.

"Yes," I answered firmly.

"Tengtang Shuijing, I've known you since you were in diapers and I can tell when you're lying. So just tell me." He said which made me groan in frustration.

"Okay fine! I'm scared of getting hurt okay? I'm scared of feeling the disappointment and heartbreak slowly take root in my heart when he tells me he doesn't feel the same. I don't want him to be the reason why my pillows are tear-soaked, why I have so many sad dreams, why I write so many half-finished poems. I don't want him to be the reason why I'm hurt... I want him to be the reason why I wake up every day. I want him to be the reason why I love life and I want him to love me..I'm terrified, Lei..." I confessed as I broke down in tears. Lei pulled me in for a hug.

"It's okay Shui...I understand." He said as he continued to rub circles on my back.

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