3 weeks later

Faye, I know you're probably in the lab right now working late there. I know I haven't been the best supporting friend for you since you've arrived and with Doaming Si telling us about...the incident... I was pissed off even more and I know Meizuo has been acting cold towards you. I'm sorry for taking this long to reach out to you. I'm really worried for you Faye. Are you eating and sleeping alright? Are you alright staying at Lei's? How were your midterms? Are rehearsals with Lei alright? Please call me when you can

"Everything alright Faye?" I looked up from my phone to look at Senior Xin Yu Yin. Her beautiful long hair was put up in a bun and her hazel eyes stared towards me in wonder. I was in the cafe with Senior and Gu Wei Yi after a long evening working on our experiment. Wei Yi looked towards me as well making sure I wouldn't have my mental breakdowns I've been having a lot lately.

"Ximen sent a text," I spoke. Both Senior and Gu Wei Yi looked towards each other before looking back at me.

"He finally reached out to you?" I nod as I took a piece of my chicken. He had reached out to me earlier while we were in the lab.

"You could ignore him," Gu Wei Yi said lightly. "He hasn't been a very great friend for treating you like this."

"Wei Yi!" Senior frowned slightly and nudged him with her elbow before turning towards me. "That isn't helping the situation. Is he worried about you?"

"I guess he is," I shrugged wishing I could erase every ounce of pain I've endured these last few weeks. Without Lei, things would be unbearable. "He wants me to call him."

"You should," Senior smiled reassuringly. If it weren't for Gu Wei Yi and our research group, I honestly wouldn't know what would have happened. Lei especially has been a supporting boyfriend to the best of his ability. It was Lee Dong Min who reached out to me asking if I returned safely to Shanghai and helped me cope with my sudden anxiety when I broke down in front of him during our Skype call.

"I don't want to talk to him," I sighed, not wanting to get hurt more than I already have. I did not want to be involved with Ximen, Meizuo, and Doaming Si after what happened that day.

Not only did I have the encounter in the bridge room, I had my encounter with Ximen who broke glassware in the house angry with me and accused me for keeping things like this from him and thought I was keeping other things from him. He wasn't close to knowing the story and he became angrier with me. He clearly wasn't listening to me when I told him that Doaming Si put me in the hospital just weeks before. It was terrifying to see a very angry Ximen.

Flinching, I took a step away hearing the piercing sound of the vase crashing onto the marble floor. The inside of my cheek numbed from biting nervously at Ximen's behavior. His eyebrows knitted close together, eyes squinted through his circular glasses, and his expression telling me he has been holding in his anger for quite some time. Ximen had his arms folded against his chest and was glaring at me.

Arriving at the house, I knew I couldn't avoid Ximen any longer than I have. The school day went by quickly and I felt unfocused thinking about what Meizuo had said and what Ximen would react. Ximen and I haven't been on the best of terms since... our weekend trip.

"Ximen..." I spoke hesitantly.

"What did you do Faye?" Ximen asked with a hint of anger of his tone. He was glaring at me. A lump formed in my throat and I tried to remain calm seeing him like this.

"I did nothing." My eyes looked down to ground feeling intimidated by my best friend. I did not want to start an argument with him, because last time I tried to talk he sent me away. "Ximen, I had nothing to do with directly putting Doaming Si in the hospital."

"Why would he make this up then, huh? Why am I finding out from him that you were involved?!" His voice raised to a shout and I flinched. My eyes shut as he started shouting at me wondering why I would keep secrets like this

"I did not involve myself in anything," I spoke defensively wondering how he could get mad with me from something he knew not much about. I'm sure Doaming Si told him only of his side of the story. From what Lei said after leaving the Bridge room earlier, it seemed he wanted to turn everyone against me.

"Then why would he exclusively mention it was your fault?"

"Why are you automatically believing him? Ximen, this wasn't my fault. Really, I never knew I caused harm. The only thing I can think of from that day was Doaming Si taking my food. I had no other interaction with him that day." I looked towards Ximen to see him shaking his head like he was in a disagreement.

"The thought that you've never mentioned to me. I can't believe you'd keep things like this from me. Do you keep other things like this from me? Do you not trust me or are you someone I really don't know?"

"Of course I trust you Ximen. I just..." I hesitated at the thought of the times Doaming Si would threaten me.

"Clearly you don't trust me this entire time if stuff like this has been kept a secret. I ask you all the time if everything is alright or genuinely want to know if there is anything you want to tell me when it came to us hanging out. I don't question why you may ever be in tears or why you have panic attacks, but I would have thought after letting you in to my life you'd finally open up to me."

"It's not that simple."

"Seriously Faye?" Ximen raised his voice once more and I shivered slightly. He continued to show he was mad with me and it made me feel uneasy. "I've known you since we were five. I've spent almost every day with you and have made time for you even though I may have angered Ah Si or Geng."

"Made time for me? I never asked you to choose between me and your friends." It bothered me to see him talking this way. He made time for me sounded like a chore to him. I appreciated the time he made for me, but to know it seemed it cause him trouble. I never thought he'd feel obligated to spend time with me, because I had no one. "I should do some school work," I spoke lightly now feeling too much of a burden to him. I don't want to regret anything I say to him.

"I'm not done talking with you." I lowered my eyes and looked towards the ground. I continued to hug myself as he started blaming me for hiding things from him all of these years and doesn't know whether to trust me. When I tried to explain to him Doaming Si had put me into the hospital once, it did not seem to cross his mind that his other friend had cause harm to me.

My heart ached and twisted thinking Ximen saw me less as a friend than everyone else. Hearing him speak like this towards me continued to show that I've made many mistakes and I should have tried harder to be honest with him even if I was afraid.

My mind and heart couldn't take anymore of their behavior. I couldn't do it anymore. I decided to distance myself from all of them so I could breathe. I wasn't going to take it anymore and so I packed my things and left the house. Lei quickly figured out things weren't going well for me with Ximen and he offered for me to stay in his guest room until we figured something out. It took a few days for Ximen to realize I haven't been returning to the house after attending school and sent a text wondering where I had gone. Lei respected my decision to not say anything to Ximen or anyone of my whereabouts and wanted to be distanced from Ximen, Meizuo and especially Daoming Si.

Lei continued with our rehearsals at school and at his home late at night when we wanted to go over a section. We would walk to our classes together. During the days we had lectures with them, Lei would sit with me. Some days I encouraged Lei to sit with them or have lunch with them, because they were his friends. At first Lei refused to leave me, because he was angry with them for several reasons. Lei encouraged and supported me to take the sit in exam to get into the physics research group I was interested in. He helped me prepare for the exam and continued to show his support, because he wanted me to do something I liked and keep myself busy.

"Maybe he wants to make amends with you," Gu Wei Yi spoke after realizing I haven't spoken in a few minutes.

"I don't really care anymore."

"You don't mean that Faye..." Senior sighed worriedly and looked towards Wei Yi before they looked towards me again.

"Maybe it's best if I don't associate myself with them anymore. I'd be happier." I noticed their eyes shifting slightly behind me. Confused, before I could turn to see what they were looking at, I felt a presence from behind and noticed someone appearing in front of our table. I looked up to see the familiar studious person who I thought used to be my best friend. "Why is he here?" I asked Gu Wei Yi who realized I wasn't kidding when I meant I wanted to distance myself from them.

"Faye..." I heard Ximen speak to me like a decent person for the first time in over a month. "I've been worried about you." I folded my arms wanting to hug myself wishing I believed his words.

"Why are you here?" I asked lightly.

"We told him we'd be here," Senior answered and Ximen looked towards her nervously before looking at me again.

"I'd like to talk to you Faye," Ximen spoke carefully. "Let's talk outside." I sighed before agreeing and excusing myself from the table before following Ximen outside. Following him out into the lobby, he stopped to turn around and face me. I folded my arms staring at him.

"Are you alright?" Ximen asked again now that we were alone. I looked at him feeling like I could fall apart was going to be a choice with this conversation. I turned my head away from him and let out a shaky sigh.

"No," I answered calmly. "I feel betrayed Ximen."

"He ended up in the hos-".

"That isn't my fault!" My patience was running low and I was tired. Lei knew my mood has changed since we've returned, due to the many emotions I've gone through. "He put me in the hospital, I told you that and you did not listen to me." Ximen seemed to be at loss for words. "You never noticed when I needed you the most when it came to Doaming Si. I couldn't compete with him. Our entire childhood he has been making me live in fear and self cautious, because he did not want me to be a part of your life. From the start Doaming Si has hated me and I don't know why. You never noticed the distance I had to put between us because of him, the many times I felt alone when I couldn't come to you for help, because I was afraid you would take his side or leave me. I never wanted to lose you, because you're the only consistent person I have in my life besides my mom. He always bullied me and tried to make me feel guilty for being close with you and you couldn't ever see the signs. I became depressed Ximen! I was terrified and trapped."

In the midst of my long rant to him, a sob escaped my lips and I brought a hand up to my mouth feeling... upset. My eyes were already flooding with tears and my nose was runny. It felt like the weight of the majority of my stress was lifted off my shoulders by telling him. Ximen took a step towards me and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt myself falling apart in front of him, because I was tired. I wanted to push away from him, but having him here now in front of me I couldn't push him away.

"I'm sorry," Ximen apologized lightly. "I am sorry for the trouble and pain I've caused you since you've come back." My arms slowly wrapped around him as I broke down in a public setting. I felt Ximen pulling me towards him so my head could rest against his chest. "I'm sorry for making you feel like this. Faye... please forgive me for this."

"You chose him Ximen," I spoke frustrated.

"I did not choose him, Faye," He explained. "I wasn't angry with you. I was angry with Ah Si. I was confused and hurt I was finding out what was going on from Daoming Si and not you. I shouldn't have put all of my anger towards you when I had found out. Doaming Si thought I was going to take his side when he told me what you have done to him..." He pulled back slightly so he could look down at me and I noticed his eyes glossy. His expression filled with regret and guilt. Something I knew about Ximen, he never showed emotion in public.

"I never harmed Daoming Si," I spoke lightly. "He took my food away from me and I don't know what he did with my food."

"I don't believe you would poison your food Faye. I know you too well. You couldn't possibly do that. I believe you Faye." I nod sniffling wondering how messy I looked right now. "I shouldn't have accused you of anything. I should have reached out to you sooner."

"But you never did," I spoke weakly. "You never called or sent a text to me after you argued with me. You never came after me once you realized I left the house." Ximen let out a sigh and I noticed how upset this made him.

"I've made many mistakes since you've been here. I want to make this right." I don't say anything, because I don't know how he could make this right. "Faye, I'll do anything for you to forgive me. I don't want to lose you. You're very important to me and you are my family."

"Ximen..." my heart was aching from his words. He seemed so sincere and the first tear from him went through. Seeing him like this was never my intention.

"Anything you want. You can set boundaries or if you want a weekend getaway with you, Lei, and I. Whoever you want. You can make a list of things I can improve. Anything other than you leaving my life."

"Can I think this through for a few days?" I asked quietly not wanting to rush into anything. I needed to sort things out in my head.

"Of course. Take the time you need." I nod and carefully pulled away from him.

"I... should get back to my friends. We have to finish up an experiment." Ximen smiled faintly and nodded.

"Okay. I'll see you in school?" I nod and waved slightly before turning to make my way back inside.

///