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"I want to tell you something," Faye says after we sat down on the couch. She stared directly into my eyes and I could see, she wasn't quite focused like she usually was. Her tone indicated something was bothering her. I shifted slightly on the couch unsure where this was going.

"Is it smart to say what you have to tell me if you're not going to remember what you tell me tomorrow?" I questioned her. There wasn't any way she was going to wake up completely fine in the morning. I think Meizuo underestimated how much she could take.

"It's more of a reason to tell you, because I would never say anything." Her tone was light and she let out a small sigh.

"It's not wise to tell me anything under the influence of Faye."

"I don't need your approval Lei," She frowned. "You've already upset me enough today." These were the drinks giving her courage to speak.

"I've upset you?" I questioned.

"You can't just have breakfast with me smiling having a great time and the next you're giving me the cold shoulder."

"I told you earlier you did nothing wrong."

"That's not the point. I felt abandoned when you continued looking at music then telling those freshman I was referred as 'just a classmate and acquaintance'," She air quoted.

"You make it sound like I'm your boyfriend Faye. You are a classmate of mine and we are acquainted. What is wrong with that?" I was starting to feel frustrated with where this conversation was going and it has barely started.

"The way you said it!" Her tone now gave away she was frustrated with me. I was doing a great job keeping her calm. "Not to mention I waited for you for almost an hour at the tea shop and you never showed up. How could you leave me there at the mall and not tell me yourself you were leaving? You had Meizuo come and couldn't have left a simple message." I would not be surprised if the staff in the kitchen could hear our argument. Where was Meizuo with the blanket?

"I know you're sensitive Faye, but really?" She took my coat off her shoulders and shoved it at me. She stood and I looked at her confusingly at her behavior. "You seem completely fine with Meizuo and his company. He can be a flirt and I'm sure you're oblivious to it. How can you not see that Faye?"

"I don't care about that! I am talking about us." I noticed a part of her wanted to hide and it was the alcohol that continued to allow her to speak. "You're allowed to tease me and knowing what you say makes me blush, but then you choose to ignore it and go on to not say anything?"

"For someone who I just met less than seventy two hours ago, isn't this a bit strange to mention this? I was being polite and did not want you to feel embarrassed. I'll make sure to never compliment you then. Clearly it was a mistake to compliment a girl, if you're going to act like this. If you remembered this very conversation in the morning, I'm sure you'll feel very embarrassed this happened. Then our recital together would be jeopardized , because you want to talk about something that shouldn't be talked about. I'm not Ximen and I don't know you well enough to know your flaws, but telling someone you barely know you have a crush after they tell you they want to try and be friends isn't appropriate," I finished.

My arms hugged myself, because I felt humiliated for thinking this was a great idea at all. Meizuo had gone to his room, because earlier I had asked him if I could talk to Lei alone. At first Meizuo was hesitant about the whole thing, but eventually agreed to it, because he knew I wanted to clear the atmosphere with Lei. Instead, it made things worse for me, because Lei had no idea I was sober enough to remember all of this. I didn't have the courage to tell him I've had a crush on him since senior high school and that I was his stand partner for a year where I was invisible.

The little amount of wine and beer I had seemed to be almost nonexistent. Whether I was sober or not, I would never tell him how I knew him before now under this circumstance. From his bitter and cold tone, there wasn't any interest in me anyway. There was a look of judgement and it made me feel uncomfortable. Why would a person like Lei like a person like me? He seemed so frustrated and had enough with my nonsense. He called me out on my sensitivity and did not show any mercy on me. I can't believe he called me oblivious?

Meizuo wasn't flirting with me.

At any moment I knew the tears would be coming and I did not want Lei to see me cry. He gave me every reason to feel uncomfortable around him, because he was only being nice because I am Ximen's best friend. If I wasn't friends with Ximen at all, I'd only know his cold side, because he would never bring his guard down around me. It was a stupid idea for me to try to explain to him that I was very sensitive to anything, because of my past; my depression. He wouldn't get it, because he doesn't care enough to see the signs. I shouldn't be too surprised, because even Ximen couldn't tell I suffered from bad depression. He had no idea of the severity. He knew I wasn't quite myself all the time and he had an idea I wasn't happy, but he tried to support me in any way. Ximen being there and supporting me was the only thing that really got me through the year before I left for the states.

"I'm going to find Meizuo," I pretended to yawn. "I need a blanket." I faced away and took careful steps in the direction Meizuo went before Lei could say anything. I still drank enough where I found it a difficult task to walk straight. I left without saying anything more before I embarrassed myself even more than I have. Once I reached the hall out of Lei's sight, my vision blurred and I quickly wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. I tried to delay my sniffling until I was down the hall where I reached a set of stairs. I took a hold of the railing and began making my way up.

How am I going to be able calm around him after this moment? He may think I won't remember any of this and he may not say something, but I'll remember this happened. How will he act towards me after today? Will he go back to pretending to be a friend? Lei isn't a guy I thought he would be.

"Faye?" I walked up the last of the steps and saw Meizuo coming out of what I assumed to be his room. I slowly walked over to him. I tried to cover my sniffles and wiped a few more tears trying to not burden Meizuo with my problems. I didn't want him to think I was too needy and emotional. "What happened?" Meizuo asked carefully and he opened the door he just closed.

"There was just some misunderstanding," I spoke lightly. I was right about this being his bedroom. I took a seat by the windowsill and he sat at the edge of his bed.

"Did he do something to upset you again?"

"N-no. It was really my fault." I wasn't sure why I felt the need to lie. I guess it had to do with it being the easy way out and not causing any more trouble.

"But you're upset?" Meizuo questioned. "You're crying."

"I'll get over it."

"You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" I looked over toward the bed to see Meizuo being serious with what he said. "You don't have to bottle up or hide your emotions. It's not healthy."

"Lei thinks otherwise," I said without hesitation and I mentally hit myself for letting that slide.

"He what?"

"I-I wanted to tell him I had a crush on him." I wanted to change the subject. Meizuo's eyes widened for a moment before showing a bit of confusion.

"Isn't it a little early to tell him when you two have just met yesterday?" I lowered my eyes. At least Meizuo was calm and not judging that much like Lei had done.

"He said the same thing," I spoke just above a whisper. "I wanted to tell him we have met before... before I could say that, I felt he was talking down at me like I was beneath him..." I hugged myself feeling a little uncomfortable speaking about this out loud. The only person I really spoke about my feelings was the therapist I had. "I-I wasn't brave enough to say anything else, because I feel humiliated and too embarrassed to say anything. His tone sounded so cold and bitter towards me and I just wanted him to know a little more about why I am the way I am. I thought he would have been more understanding." The tears were flowing down my cheeks like a river now and my voice sounded hoarse.

The silent room filled with my sniffles and I felt intimidated of what Meizuo response would be to my blabbering. After a few moments, I felt a gentle hand take mine. I continued to sniffle and looked up to see Meizuo with a neutral expression. He was staring down at our hands before looking at me.

"I won't ask about senior high school right now. I'm sure that is a story for another time," Meizuo spoke lightly. I'm sure it must have been hard for you to tell me this. I want you to know that you never have to be afraid to confide in your problems when you're around me and should never feel it's a burden."

"It really means a lot for you to say that," I spoke lightly. Meizuo gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my hand slightly.

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