I always dreamed I’d have an amazing orgasm the first time I had sex. My actual first time was nothing like my fantasy, but I still enjoyed it because I was with a guy I loved. It was a cold November night and we were messing around and he asked if we could have sex. I wanted to, so we found a condom and had sex for maybe 10 minutes.

He came, I didn’t. It was not painful. I think because I was relaxed and in love. We did it a second time 5 minutes later for a little longer. It was beautiful and I loved it. I did not come, but he did again. After that first time, we started to have sex pretty often. I was always always careful. I went to the doctor every 3 - 4 months and most importantly I ALWAYS used a condom.

Eventually, somewhere along the way, I lost my boyfriend along with my respect for myself. Sex meant nothing to me again. This continued for a while until I eventually learned that I couldn’t have sex unless I had respect for myself. I learned that an important part about having sex with someone is that there must be communication and trust (and protection!). If there isn’t any of these things, what is the point? In the end you’ll be hurt and have less respect for yourself, which is not something you should put yourself through.

I am at a point in my life now where sex is about love, respect, pleasure, and trust. It’s about being with someone who I am in love with and who’s in love with me. It is something I will share only with one person (my boyfriend) and it will stay between us forever.

Remember, even if you aren’t with someone forever, it doesn’t mean you can’t remember how much fun you had in the sack. For me, sex means that it is my own definition, my choice whether to have it or not. It means that it belongs to me and no one can take that away

Anonymous, 17