《Temporary Alliance》Chapter 21 : Delicate
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I didn't dare turn back around to face him. As silence fell upon us both when I stopped talking, I remained as still as possible. Alexander remained silent as well, waiting for me to continue even when I was already done.
"And then?" He spoke up when he realized I wasn't going to continue.
I contemplated what to say, carefully choosing my next words. "Everything after that was a little hazy."
"Cadence's family?"
"I called them as soon as I could, and her mother, Debby, wanted some time to process everything. Apparently, I reminded her too much of Cadence. She said she would contact me when she felt up for a chat. For Cadence's nephew Nolan, I didn't even get to speak to him before Debby quickly hung up."
Alexander didn't press me further for information, but his silence was starting to make me nervous.
"What could I have done differently, Red? What could I have done to save her?" I stared blankly into the darkness in front of me.
Alexander took slipped his hand out of mine and my heart began to pound faster. I should have never told him. When I felt him move away and a soft glow of light flooded the room from behind me, I stiffened. Suddenly, I felt him gently cup my shoulder.
"Turn around for me," he whispered softly before planting a kiss at the crook of my neck.
I squeezed my eyes shut tight and shrugged his hand off. "No."
"I want to see you, Angel."
Not bothering to answer him, I pushed myself up to a sitting position, facing away from him. "I think..." I trailed off since I didn't know what to say.
Unable to help myself, I turned my face and took a quick glance at him. There wasn't much expression on his face and I flinched away when he reached for me. Quickly getting my legs over the edge of the bed, I was about to get up when Alexander's arms went around my waist, halting my actions.
"Now I understand what that man meant." Alexander's chin landed on my left shoulder as he spoke quietly.
"Who?"
"The man you met for lunch a few days ago."
Wolf?
"How long are you going to carry that guilt? Blaming yourself?"
I immediately stiffened.
"Angel..."
In the blink of an eye, I slammed Alexander onto the bed by his shoulders and leaned over him. My sorrow morphed into anger. Alexander's facial expression didn't change as I stared at him in fury.
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"If it wasn't for me, she would still be alive today. Her mother would still have a daughter and her nephew would still have his aunt, alive. If- "
"If it weren't for you," Alexander was calm and completely unruffled by my sudden outburst, "your entire team, Wolf's team, and the innocent villagers within the range of the explosives would be dead. If you didn't fire, someone else would have."
"I should have found a different plan.
"What different plan?"
My eyes widened slightly by his question. "I-I I don't know. I ran over different scenarios of the entire mission in my head, but I don't know. Tell me, Red, what could I have done differently so that she could have flown back home with me. That she could have walked off the plane with me, returning on to home soil. What could I have done differently so that she could still be alive?"
I didn't know I was crying until my tears dropped onto Alexander's cheeks, making it look like he was the one crying. Alexander reached up and brushed my tears away tenderly.
"No matter how I think about it," I let go of Alexander and quickly wiped my tears away, "she could be alive today if it weren't for me." I looked down at my hands and remembered her blood seeping through my fingers as I tried to stop the bleeding. My hands started to tremble as the images of her bleeding out and losing consciousness took over my mind.
Alexander got back up into a sitting position and clasped both my hands into his. His dark greys stared sternly into mine, entrapping me in his gaze. "If you keep thinking like that, you're going to end up destroying yourself. No one blames you and from what you told me, Cadence didn't either. One day, you will need you forgive yourself."
I remained silent.
"Let's get some sleep, we have a long day tomorrow." Alexander's eyes left mine and he leaned back to switch off the lamp. Soon, the room returned back to the darkness it was before. From my unadjusted eyes, I was unable to see, but I felt Alexander pull me down gently. His strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me towards his firm chest, slowly engulfing me with his warmth.
"Let it out, Angel."
As if his words were like a sudden command, the walls around my emotions cracked and my tears started to seep through. I buried my face closer to his muscular chest and wrapped an arm around his tight torso. Within the comfort of his arms, I finally let myself freely cry for the good friend I've lost.
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*
Someone was drawing light swirls on my back and this pulled me out of my slumber. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw grey eyes staring right back at me. My eyes snapped open and I froze in place when I remembered that I had told him everything.
In Alexander's eyes, I had expected to see pity or contempt, but all I saw was tender warmth.
"Morning." Alexander's lips lifted into a small smile and I blinked my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.
I raised an eyebrow at his odd behaviour. "You okay?"
Amusement danced in his dark greys as he stared into my light blues. "I am. Are you cold?"
What in the world was he talking about? If anything, I was starting to become too warm.
I was about to roll away from him when I realized that both my hands were firmly planted on his torso, under his shirt just right above the waistband of his sweatpants. I immediately yanked my hands away from him and he let out a chuckle upon seeing my flustered expression.
"I-I..." I narrowed my eyes at Alexander then tossed him a smirk. Feeling a little mischievous, I pushed myself closer to him and leaned in closer to his ear. "Maybe."
I leaned back only to see that the amusement disappeared from his eyes and those greys turned a shade darker. Within the blink of an eye, I was lying down on my back with Alexander looming over me, his elbows planted next to my shoulders, successfully caging me in.
I gave a dry, awkward laugh. "We should get ready for the day- "
Alexander didn't let me finish as he leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against mine. I closed my eyes and kissed him back while wrapping my arms around his torso to pull his body down against mine. Our legs tangled together as he turned his head to the side to kiss me even harder, pulling me deeper into the haze of desire with him.
"Kids, I made pancakes!"
Mrs. Blades' voice was like a bucket full of ice water. I immediately froze but I felt Alexander smile against my lips. My face started to heat up when I realized what I was doing.
"We probably should get ready," Alexander commented before playfully nipping my bottom lip.
Still in shock, I didn't move an inch as Alexander pushed himself off of me to walk towards the closet.
"She just called us 'kids', Angel." He sounded amused, a feeling that I certainly did not share. "Reminds me of when you stayed over when you were younger."
His comment broke me out of my haze and I got up into a sitting position. "Your mom's pancakes are the best." I couldn't help but smile as I got off the bed.
"It was one of the only things that could convince you to get out of bed."
I straightened out our blanket so that it lay smoothly on our bed. "I remember our parents never really had time off so whenever they got a vacation together, we would throw a dart."
"You always complained," Alexander replied from the walk-in closet and sounded as if he was holding back laughter.
I gave him a laugh as I fixed our pillows. "Of course. It was supposed to be a vacation, but it felt more stressful than actually just attending school during exam season. You tossed the dart once and we ended up climbing mountains in the middle of nowhere."
I didn't hear Alexander walking towards me, but I before I knew it, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his embrace. His chest was firmly against my back as he planted a soft kiss at my temple before placing his cheek against the crown of my head.
"Hm, after you got really sick, nearly gave your mother a heart attack when your fever wouldn't stop climbing and we were too far from a hospital."
I smiled and shook my head in amusement. "After that, we decided to stop our terrifying dart throwing vacations and our parents took turns taking us to normal tourist destinations. I remember that when it was my dad's turn, we would make us both solve whatever riddle he came up with. Whoever did got to pick the first restaurant to eat in."
Suddenly, whatever I said made Alexander stiffen. Frowning, I got out of his hold and turned around to look at him. Alexander seemed to be deep in thought.
"What?" I poked his cheek when he remained silent, not sharing what got him in such a turmoil.
His greys eyes looked at me and his eyebrows were pulled slightly towards the center.
"I think I know how to solve the code your father sent."
****
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InvincibleBunny
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