It took two days for everything to finalize. A few days after, I noticed that the Emperor was happier. Hua Yang and the Emperor must have talked it out. Their bond was strong which is why I needed to ally with Hua Yang.

After leaving my place to get some fresh air, I stopped by to visit Su Yin. She has been cooped up inside because of her pregnancy. She's barely gotten fresh air which worried me. Su Yin was a strong woman who was capable of caring for her child, but I still worried about her health and wellness.

The late empress was gone but there was still evil in the harem.

"The Empress has arrived!" my eunuch exclaimed. I reminded myself to stop him from doing that sometimes.

I took careful steps into her chamber. Su Yin's skin was glowing. She looked beautiful but tired. When she stood up, I noticed the baby bump that was now bigger than the last time I saw her.

Su Yin smiled at me. "Greetings to Your Majesty!"

When she lowered herself to kneel, I quickly held her wrists.

"Please don't. You're pregnant," I gently helped her up. When she stood tall, my face softened. "How is the baby?"

"The baby is keeping me up at night," Su Yin sighed, her eyes met mine. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "It started kicking, Your Majesty. I have to sleep in such uncomfortable positions..."

I noticed the maturity in her tone. Being a mother soon was going to change her even more, but I didn't mind. After she gets promoted to 'Consort', I'll keep an eye on her. On the other hand, women like Bao Zhai were troubling. There was still a chance to banish Bao Zhai but I respected the Emperor.

Su Yin rubbed her stomach. While she did, she looked up at me, widening her eyes. A big grin spread on her face.

She grabbed my hand quickly, and placed the palm of my hand against her big stomach. "Look, Empress, the baby is kicking again!"

The sudden tiny pats against the palm of my hand amused me. I've never felt such a thing before, and it made me want a child. After seeing her baby, I was scared that I'd get baby fever. Hopefully not. If I do, I truly hope I don't suddenly find the Emperor attractive.

"Su Yin, I'm so excited for you, I'll make sure to bring many gifts for your baby," I pulled my hand away from her stomach now that the baby stopped kicking.

"Oh, Empress, I've missed you," Su Yin sighed. She looked at me and laughed quietly. "I like watching you glare at some of the concubines when we greet you in the morning."

We both haven't spoken about Chang Ying. We chose not to. Chang Ying was still here, playing the role of a kind, favoured consort. It made me sick. The Emperor deserved better. The Emperor deserved to know what had happened to his first son.

I've always wanted to talk to Su Yin about it; I wanted to talk to her about my anger. Chang Ying was not the innocent woman everyone thought she was. The officials wanted Chang Ying to succeed as the Empress. No way was I going to let it happen. Frustration was starting to build up, and I didn't want to ruin the moment Su Yin and I had.

Right when I settled into a chair, the rest of my maids and eunuchs ran into Su Yin's chamber. Their panicked expression did not sit well with me.

I stood up immediately. "What is it?"

"Your Majesty," one of my eunuchs spoke. "The Empress Dowager has passed away! She had a heart attack!"

Su Yin and I exchanged horrified glances. My heart stopped. I knew what was coming for me. The officials will find ways to twist things and make me look bad. Su Yin already knew because she grabbed my arm harshly.

I turned to face her, the distress still sitting on my face. She tugged on my arm. "I believe in you..."

"Take me to His Majesty!" I demanded, turning my attention to the eunuchs. My flight or fight response was kicking in and I had to see him. No matter what, I won't let myself lose. The Empress Dowager died at the worst timing.

One of the younger eunuchs, still desperately trying to calm me down, bowed deeply. "Empress, His Majesty is having an immediate court assembly at the moment! He cannot be interrupted!"

"I don't care! I'll eavesdrop if I will," I pulled my arm away from Su Yin, trying to control the rush inside of me. I felt my heart hammering against my chest. I glared at them. "I demand you to take me to His Majesty!"

'Yes, Empress." they replied in unison.

I looked behind my shoulder and gave one more look to Su Yin before heading out of her chamber. While walking out, I noticed my maids walking behind me in apprehension. Their faces tensed while their heads were down. I didn't want them around when I did this.

I stopped walking.

The eunuchs turned around.

"Make sure my maids are not with me when I am there," I instructed, before fixing one of the pins on my hair. "I don't want them involved."

I remained still in the sedan chair. I questioned what the officials will say, I questioned what will become of me. Everyone and everything is threatening my position. However, I could be delusional. The Empress Dowager was out of the picture and now, the Emperor ran everything.

Which was good, actually. The Empress Dowager, in a sense, was getting in the way of my success and now that she was gone, good riddance! Was I crude for thinking this? I knew she wanted me gone as well, just like everyone else did.

The sunlight beamed through the curtains of the sedan chair. While I refused to look out, I was curious as to who was grieving. The Emperor must be grieving, and so was Hua Yang. Prince Jing would've been happy. Too late, though. He couldn't be able to witness his mother's death.

I started thinking deeper. Perhaps the Empress Dowager knew she was going to die when I visited. It could explain why she wanted to talk to me. She was going to die and she needed me to listen to her. Gradually, lingering guilt was starting to form again. However, the way she handled the situation with me was unprofessional and quite distasteful.

But I did respect her. The Empress Dowager never put me down, nor cared enough to talk to me at all, which was good. Very good.

We arrived at the main hall. I had to remain quiet to eavesdrop in their conversation. Jaxon would be there most likely, but I'd rather have the news in person than through someone else. This was a risky thing to do, but it's time to take more risks. I didn't want my position to falter.

"Please depose the Empress, she is no good for the nation!"

"Her Majesty is a curse to the Imperial family. The Empress Dowager passed because you appointed Han Ying Yue as the Empress!"

Li Shu tried to reassure me, but I couldn't be reassured. Now was not a good time to say anything at all to me. I was fuming. I expected them to frame me and say I murdered her, or say that I had something to do with it but no.

They said I was a curse.

"You must choose Imperial Noble Consort Lu!" someone pleaded, and the voice was way too familiar to not recognize. It was the second prince. I knew he hated me! I knew he still had a form of resentment for me.

I needed him gone.

"Please act in the best interest of the state! Your Majesty, you should demonstrate filial piety to your mother and demote Her Majesty because she—"

"Silence!" the Emperor yelled. A loud thud startled me. It sounded like his hand hitting his armrest.

"Please appease your anger, Your Majesty!" they all exclaimed, but the Emperor was just heating up.

"It is foolish and completely ignorant to assume the Empress is a curse! Mother was already ill before Ying Yue was ever the Empress," the Emperor spoke, loudly. His voice boomed. "Another word slandering the Empress will turn to a punishment of execution!"

I gulped. I waited for another person to speak up, but the room had paused. No words came out after. I wanted to leave, but I decided to stay for a while, just in case. I've never had so many people oppose me. It was starting to get ridiculous.

The more they wanted Chang Ying, the woman who killed the Emperor's first son, was starting to get on every one of my nerves. My hatred towards Chang Ying grew.

Another shuffling... then a voice. "Your Majesty, after Madame Ying Yue received the 'Empress' title, the Empress Dowager's illness was getting worse!"

"Remove him from court!" the Emperor roared. Loud footsteps quickened and the official was pleading for forgiveness. I couldn't bear to hear anymore. Li Shu looked at me with pity.

I left immediately after.

The funeral was short and quick. The Emperor had completely shut down, and even I was too afraid to speak to him. I changed my hanfu to an elegant white to show my respects. I planned to remain like this for a few more days.

While I sat on my throne in solitude, I was still stressing over what would happen to me. They saw me as a jinx or a curse. If I could eradicate all the people that opposed me, I would.

I knew the Emperor needed some peace and quiet, and I didn't want to disturb him. It was not every day where I got to see him. Sometimes he was busy. This time, he completely blocked everyone out. I was sure he'd be back to normal, but I just don't know when.

I really hope that he doesn't make any irrational decisions in the future.

The guqin was the only thing keeping me sane right now. Hua Er was my instructor. She played better than me; her fingers were dainty, delicate, and created beautiful music. I was sure she knew the notes at the top of her head.

For me, I had to learn how to read the Chinese music notation which was confusing at the beginning. I was never a music student but in an era like this, music was something I can study to kill time.

I had a lot of time here.

While I practiced, I felt a new presence in the room. I looked down to see Hua Yang, grimly bowing to me.

"Happiness and peace to the Empress." Hua Yang spoke, her voice was softer than before. She remained looking down.

I stopped playing and had my maid take the guqin away. Hua Yang looked saddened. She also wore a white hanfu. There was a lot of grief that was going to happen during this time. Death was still a new thing to me. Guan Shu and Rong Er's death hurt me tremendously, but the Empress Dowager's death did not.

Even though it didn't, it still saddened me. I didn't want to see Hua Yang nor the Emperor in grief. The Empress Dowager was still gentle towards me, and I believe she was considerate of me.

"At ease," I said, trying my best to match her energy.

I walked down to lead her to the table. My maid pulled out a chair for me, and I sat down slowly. My eyes did not leave Hua Yang's face. Her eyes darkened, and she looked stressed. She didn't plan to sit down.

The silence was really awkward, but Hua Yang soon broke it. "Your Majesty, I don't blame you for what happened. The officials were speaking nonsense."

"I know," I got up, tucking the chair in. "I am incredibly sorry for your loss, Hua Yang..."

Hua Yang looked up at me and flashed me a sad smile. "Mother wanted to marry me off. I refused, but she was so... certain about it. She wanted me to be married and happy, but I didn't agree with her."

"I don't blame you," I said softly.

"Neither do I, but... Mother and I got into a bad quarrel," Hua Yang continued, slowly looking away from me. "I wish that I had said my goodbyes... I feel terrible, Empress."

I awkwardly took her hand and clasped in between mine. We remained silent. Her eyes were glossy, but there were no tears that were welling up. She was strong. She would be fine.

Hua Yang looked down, staring at the floor. I didn't know whether to hug her, but I used my words to comfort her. "She will forgive you, Hua Yang. You are the best daughter she has ever asked for."

"I don't have to marry the marquis," Hua Yang looked up at me and flashed me a toothy grin. "I guess there's a good side to it."

"You're quite optimistic." I raised my eyebrows at her.

Hua Yang pulled her hand away from me. She shook her head. "This wasn't why I came here, though... Your Majesty, I... I came here for a different reason."

"What is it?" I asked, still trying to be as kind as I was before. A woman was grieving in front of me and it'd be insensitive if I wasn't a little bit nicer.

To my surprise, she lowered herself to the ground and kneeled. I stepped back and watched her kowtow to me. My eyes widened at the sight. I wanted to tell her to get up, but I watched her.

Hua Yang was kowtowing to me.

No words left my mouth because I was still trying to process what was happening in front of me. Hua Yang kept her head down. "I thank you, Empress. Because of you, I can become a physician... I am able to study something I am passionate about."

"Hua Yang, quickly get up," I lowered myself to help her up. Her chin trembled while she got up. The tears welled up in her eyes, maybe due to sadness, or happiness? I didn't know.

She gripped my wrists and pulled me closer. With one of her hands, she wiped the welled up tears away with her thumb. Hua Yang let out a small smile. "I just wanted to pay my respects, Your Majesty. That is all."

"That isn't necessary," I leaned forwards. "If you ever have any problems, you can always come to me."

"Y-Yes, that'd be lovely," she responded, sniffling as she spoke. After a few sniffs, she bit her bottom lip. "Empress... the officials will soon get tired of fighting against you."

I rolled my eyes. "They want Chang Ying."

"I believe so... As of now, she is accompanying His Majesty," Hua Yang whispered to me.

"Right now? Why?" anger flashed before my eyes.

Hua Yang could see the noticeable irritation in my eyes. She shook her head. "Empress, don't think too hard about it. His Majesty hasn't seen Imperial Noble Consort Lu for a long time."

Chang Ying? Now? Right after? I wanted to throw a fit, but Hua Yang and neither of my maids there seemed to be worried. Besides, it was true. The Emperor hasn't seen Chang Ying for a while, so he wanted to talk to her.

But even if it was true, I was still mad. The Emperor had totally shut me out, and everyone else out, but he chose to speak to Chang Ying? I was close to having a breakdown, my heart was starting to beat faster. If the Emperor decides to demote me...

How could I let someone take my throne? Especially someone who deceived the Emperor. The officials didn't know that. Even if they did, they would probably choose Chang Ying over me.

There was a spring of jealousy I was afraid to admit. I didn't like Chang Ying, and neither did Su Yin anymore. Hua Yang furrowed her eyebrows and changed the topic.

"There is a polo game... perhaps next week, and I am looking forwards to it... Have you been to a polo game before?"

I shook my head.

Hua Yang chuckled. "Since you are the Empress, you will be cheering on for His Majesty... Mother... Mother used to love watching..."

"Get some rest, Hua Yang," I whispered. I tried my best to talk softer. She was going to break soon, and I'd hate to see her like this. Chang Ying broke down in front of me before, but now to think of it, it probably wasn't genuine because she was balling her eyes all over the place.

I wanted to let out another groan for even falling for her trap.

Hua Yang bowed. "I shall take my leave, Your Majesty."

I watched her walk out. My maids bowed as she left before standing still to offer me a few moments of peace before they spoke.

"Your Majesty, Imperial Noble Consort Lu is only accompanying the Emperor because they haven't spoken for a while," Feng Xi spoke out first. "Please appease your anger."

But I couldn't stop the blood boiling inside of me. Everything about Chang Ying ticked me off. She was beautiful, acted kind and caring, never falling into controversy. I hated it. She was someone she wasn't, and I hated it.

Hua Er wanted to say something, but she knew me too well. I stood up. "I want to take a stroll."

We walked in silence. Everywhere I went, I tried to relax. I should relax, shouldn't I? I have the Empress title, the officials will hopefully move on, and for three months I get to enjoy my time here.

But it wasn't that easy.

I was paranoid as to what would happen to me. I wasn't important enough for the officials to go on about me. The hate would gradually die. But I couldn't stop thinking about Chang Ying taking my position. I was paranoid—very paranoid. Everyone who may jeopardize my position should be eliminated—which was in my head.

The only person above me was the Emperor. Not the Empress Dowager anymore. She was gone. Chang Ying was in the way of everything. I wanted to relax. I needed to relax.

With ten maids and a few eunuchs surrounding me, it was way too overwhelming to relax.

My body felt the humidity of the weather. Hot summer days went on like this. My skin always felt sticky and gross. One of my maids waved a fan next to me, but it didn't do much. The other maid held an umbrella up for me.

I should be enjoying this weather instead of worrying.

Was this how the late empress felt? She did feel threatened by me. My mind wandered. I was trying to justify why she schemed against me. She did it out of love, and not power. I'm doing it so I can go home and not have to potentially go through hell.

A few concubines were playing Pitch-pot, laughing and smiling together. I felt the fun even from a few meters away. They crowded amongst themselves. I was glad to see this unity between the women in the harem. The low-ranking consorts were also kind to each other while they played.

When I approached them, I had a subconscious smile spreading on my face. They looked like they were having fun. I've never really understood the game of Pitch-pot. You throw arrows in a vase-looking pottery. Although I found the game boring, I was having fun myself while watching them from afar.

"Warm blessings to the Empress." they bowed deeply, still their happiness was noticeably written on their face.

I grinned. "At ease."

"Thank you, Empress." they straightened their back.

"You all seem to get along... You all are having fun," I let out a soft chuckle. I was happy to see them all get along. Their laughter was contagious. "I am pleased to see this."

"Your Majesty, you can join us after this round!" one of the Consorts smiled. She held an arrow in her hand and raised it above her head.