Today was my birthday. The ancient Chinese didn't celebrate birthdays. Only when you were younger or the elderly, they would. I was fine with that. I usually never celebrated my birthday.

We were in the midst of summer now, the beautiful birds singing outside and the humidity was scaring me. Near the end of July, I should be enjoying myself with Cherry. I will forever miss my family and friends. However, I've been so used to this environment, that I wasn't as saddened as I should be.

Was it wrong? The next month marks my anniversary of being here. It has only been a year but it felt like forever because there was no way could I have possibly been Empress within a year.

I chose to ignore the elephant in the room.

I wasn't from here. There was no reason to stay here. I had goals to accomplish and I wanted to find love.

All was well. Everything was going great and the harem was surprisingly peaceful. I sat on my throne next to the Emperor as he went through with his tasks. While I continued reading in silence, he straightened his back and turned to me.

I put my index finger on my spot in the book before looking up at him. "What's bothering you, Your Majesty?"

"Ying Yue, I wish to promote an Imperial Concubine," the Emperor spoke solemnly, staring into my eyes.

Confused, I nodded in agreement with his wishes. It was a random train of thought in his head, I believe. We were sitting silently for quite some time before he brought it up. But I always complied with his requests.

"Yes, I will do the promotion," I gave him a small reassuring smile. My eyes wandered away from him before I shifted in my seat. "But, Your Majesty, I will like to get to know this concubine before promotion. Do you mind?"

The Emperor watched me carefully. He narrowed his eyes slightly, studying my face for a moment. After, he turned away from me and picked up his brush again. "Not at all. Imperial Concubine Feng, Feng Bao Zhai comes from the Feng family. Her father is the head of the Ministry of Revenue."

"Perhaps it's best if I leave immediately to visit her," I suggested, getting up from my seat. "I shall take my leave, Your Majesty."

The late empress has clearly never complied with the Emperor in this sort of way because the Emperor watched me with a dismayed look on his face. He tried to hide it but it didn't work. His sudden blinking and pausing of his movements were funny to watch.

My reputation as the Empress was not bad at all. The harem was peaceful. There weren't any troubling situations. Even the petty fights between the women had decreased. The four women who were pregnant were healthy. Two, including Su Yin, will be due in about two months.

The Emperor talked to me about state affairs from time to time. Something had happened in various regions. People weren't making as much money as they usually were. Class was a big division here, and I wasn't very surprised by it. He was planning to head over for inspection soon but there were too many things to keep track of.

I fixed my attire and tucked the book under my arm. As I began to walk down, I felt the Emperor grab my wrist.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" I looked behind my shoulder. A cheerful smile spread across his face as he pulled me back near him.

"It is your birthday, Ying Yue," he stated. "I believe you are nineteen this year?"

"Yes, Your Majesty." I nodded hesitantly. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't. He held his tongue. I still try to process the fact that I was the Empress and a young adult at the same time. It was surreal to me.

I could never get that through my head.

When I arrived outside the palace that held the concubines, I took a quick deep breath and tried to relax. I could've waited until tomorrow to do this; going in unannounced might startle her.

"The Empress has arrived!" one of my eunuchs declared.

Nostalgia hit me. I remembered this place. Hua Er and I were still bonding and getting to know each other. Back then, Hua Er was the innocent, naive little sister. Now, I believe she was better than that. I remember my own naivety and innocence. I remembered who I was from that day.

I am no longer that Imperial Concubine, nor am I that Noble Consort.

Once I stepped in, Bao Zhai quickly got on her knees and bowed. Her maids followed immediately after. "Warm blessings to the Empress."

"You may get up," I responded while scanning her room. Tidy and neat, and still as if no one has been inside for a long time.

She was one of the concubines that were lucky enough to be ranked up and liked by the Emperor. Or all of it could be just political. I was oblivious to politics here. I didn't know a lot about it either. The officials wanted something to hate about me—was what I wanted to believe.

"Thank you, Empress," they said in unison, getting up at the same time. The maids backed away quickly while bowing their heads.

Her hair was braided down with two silver pins stuck strategically to decorate her hair. I scanned her attire. A light blue hanfu that was sheer, appropriate for the humid weather we were having.

I was sweating in my red brocade hanfu.

Bao Zhai smiled, offering me to take a seat. "What brings you here, Your Majesty? I didn't expect you to visit, if I did, I would've prepared pastries for you."

As she said it, she took one small glance at her maids. They hurried out the doorway. By the heavy sigh she let out, I assumed she was stressed.

"I believe it is my duty to get to know you," I gave a sincere smile to her. One of the maids that stayed back poured us tea. I acknowledged her with a curt nod before turning back to the concubine. "His Majesty thinks fondly of you."

Bao Zhai covered her mouth to giggle. "Empress, my beauty can never match yours. You are kind enough to flatter me."

"I have been through enough to know that the upper rankings are very hostile," I replied, taking a pause to taste the flavour of the tea. "Compliments are rare these days."

Soon after we made small talk, her maids began to set the plate of pastries down. I haven't eaten one in a very long time. Bao Zhai kept up her smile as she grabbed one. I followed soon after and acknowledged her maids. I was reluctant to eat anything others provide me without the needle or someone who tested it first, but I highly doubt she had the guts to do that to me.

Bao Zhai chuckled. "Your Majesty, forgive my maids for their incompetence. I thought they would arrive faster."

"There is no forgiveness involved, they have done nothing wrong," I shot back, raising an eyebrow at her. My eyes shot her a warning.

"Milady, we came as fast as we can." one of her maids, breathing heavily, spoke. She was quite young, around the age of twenty I believe.

I pitied younger palace maids because they were poor and also had to serve disrespectful people. If the Emperor could have a departure for the women in the harem, I believe he could have one for the palace maids. Then again, this was their only income.

My smile faded once I saw a flick of anger in Bao Zhai's eyes. She let out another angry huff. I was about to stand up for the maid, but Bao Zhai spoke before me. She was only an Imperial Concubine, and she has yet to prove that she was courteous.

Bao Zhai threw the pastry in her hand back onto the plate. "How dare you talk back to me!"

"Forgive me, I said the wrong thing and it upset you! Please appease your anger, milady!" the maid quickly kneeled, bowing her head for a punishment. The other maids watched silently. They almost shrank themselves to make them less noticeable.

I held the teacup next to me, watching Bhao Zhai flush in anger. As she stood up, the three other maids behind her backed away. How of a brat can she be? I was conflicting about whether to even promote her now that she acted like this.

The Emperor would have wanted me to promote her either way. This could be political. When Bhao Zhai turned to look at me, I frowned to show my disapproval. I stood in front of her maid and helped her up. "Get up."

"Thank you, Your Majesty, for forgiving my maid," she glared at the maid. "Palace maids can talk too much."

Holding my frown, I turned to her. "This attitude of yours is not what I look for in the harem. I encourage you to behave respectfully."

Bao Zhai gaped at me. Her maids bowed respectfully as I left her chamber, making sure to not look back.

I want to be good. I want to allow the Emperor to promote her to 'Consort' because it was the least I could do. I owe him a lot. I wanted to move forward into the future. I dwelled too much on the past... but it was easier said than done.

To make up for the guilt of hiding the truth about Wan Er from the Emperor, I was planning to promote Bao Zhai. She was going to be Consort, but I will make sure she remains Consort. Once she becomes pregnant, I still won't promote her to Noble Consort. It was extremely biased of me to do this, but I'm going to do everything I can to stop her from being promoted in the future.

She rubbed me off the wrong way, and I couldn't help but think she was trouble. Extreme trouble. My intuition has been getting better after the situation with Chang Ying.

Bao Zhai will have to do a lot more to ever be promoted in the future.

In the morning, I got dressed to be greeted. Before I left my estate, I visited Li Hua in the morning. The wetnurse attending to her was able to handle her correctly. When I carried the baby in my arms, I felt a smile spread on my face.

Li Hua was adorable, dressed in a pink baby outfit. She eyed me with caution but soon let her guards down. She giggled. I giggled back, still rocking her back and forth. I made it a daily routine to tend to her whenever I could, but there was nothing to do with a newborn baby.

Especially with one that wasn't mine.

Still, Dong Mei's presence was still felt whenever I carried Li Hua. Maybe she was glaring at me, or wishing me the best because I destroyed her enemy. To take a child from a mother, and a mother from a child, was the worst thing anyone could ever do. The late empress has done it, both ways.

"The Empress has arrived!" Li Shu declared loudly as I walked in.

I looked straight ahead as the women brushed the bottom of their hanfu down and kneeled.

"Joy and bliss to the Empress!" they exclaimed, bowing. Every time they exclaimed in unison, I kept thinking about a choir. It scared me a little.

As I settled myself on my throne, I looked over at them. When I feel comfortable doing so, I'll announce it. I was tired and annoyed. Bao Zhai would have to be given the title of 'Consort'. The Emperor expected me to do this alone.

I tried my best to maintain a soft-spoken tone of voice. "You may all rise."

"Thank you, Empress!" they said again. They all lifted their head off the ground and kneeling on the side.

While they made themselves comfortable, I looked at Li Shu to give him a slight nod. He held the scroll out in front of him with two hands. All eyes were on me.

"Bao Zhai, please come in the middle," I instructed, giving her a clear sign that I wanted her to obey. She would be the first newer concubine to be promoted. Did she deserve it? No. Would I oblige anyway? Yes.

Ugh.

She immediately stood up to walk towards the middle. Before she could kneel down, I stopped her.

"Please don't stand during ceremony," I gave a quick smile before taking the scroll from my eunuch. She stood hesitantly, but the smug look on her face said it all. She tried to hide the satisfaction.

Slowly, I unfolded the scroll.

"By the Imperial decree of the Emperor, Imperial Concubine Feng has captivated the Emperor with talents and virtue," I spoke, reading it off trying my best to hide my irritation. The Emperor chose the worst people. I mean, except for me. "She will receive one hundred taels of silver, three bolts of brocade, three bolts of silk, and new rouge and powder."

I looked up from the scroll and handed it back to my eunuch. I tried my best to smile at her but it probably looked extremely forced. Chang Ying was already looking at her as if she was fresh meat.

Chang Ying didn't notice me looking her way. I brushed it off, I could deal with that later. Bao Zhai held up a smile on her face, already knowing that she could do whatever she wanted to the lower concubines. How distasteful.

Finally, I got out of my thoughts. "Step forward and receive your title!"

Bao Zhao stepped forward, then kneeling with her maids behind her. She bowed. "I thank His Majesty and Empress."

How weird was this? Concubinage was the weirdest, patriarchal thing I've experienced. Seriously, though. This thing will ruin women. How could you expect me, hypothetically, a woman in love with her husband, to allow him to have so many women?

It was just weird. Every time I was setting the women up with the Emperor, I felt like I was pimping him out.

This was the least of my problems anyway. The officials hated me, and the Emperor and I knew it. In order to win their approval, I had to act and think fast before I end up strangled to death.

The Emperor visited me in the evening. I hated having absolutely no privacy. These people don't even knock. While he stood tall, he had a look on his face. A look that said trouble. If he was planning to depose me, he was going to do a lot more than this.

"Greetings to the Emperor." I bowed, when I dipped my head down, I grimaced.

"At ease," he responded, then walking closer to me. Without saying anything, he let me settle back on my bed and stared at me hard.

While resting on my bed, I peered up.

"What's wrong, Your Majesty?" I asked, giving him a concerned look.

He sighed as he sat next to me. His furrowed forehead and grim expression did not make things any better. I don't know what his problem was, but I knew it was going to involve me. Whatever it was, I knew I could handle it.

The only thing I was worried about was the pressure that was getting to him.

After a few seconds of silence, he softened his expression when he looked at me. "It isn't a secret that most of the state officials are not keen to have you as Empress."

"It isn't at all," I responded solemnly, turning my gaze away from him and to the ceramic vase in my bedroom. It was there for a while, collecting dust. Big, white and blue. I liked it, though. It would be fun to get angry and throw it on the floor.

"I know you are worried," the Emperor interrupted my thoughts on my vase. He sighed again. I tensed up when he touched the back of my hand resting against my bed. When I faced him, our eyes met. "They won't harm you unless they want to suffer eternally."

Even when he told me this, I was still worried. I wanted to nod and agree and hide behind him the entire time I'm here, but I was risking his position as well. My other option was to face the problem and try my best to win them over.

If you want to get psychological, people are more convinced when they are eating, usually through a big meal. The Empress Dowager or the Emperor hosted various banquets but they were all for recreational purposes. There was entertainment involved as well.

If I could organize a celebration for the aristocrats that have served the Emperor, I could get at least a certain degree of respect.

That was called the 'luncheon technique'.

"Your Majesty," I smiled, giving back slight affection by intertwining my fingers with his. "May you host a banquet for them? ... What if I encouraged you to host it? And perhaps gave an assignment to the concubines to perform an elegant dance?"

The Emperor stopped to think. He knew this was going to stir things up. He loved taking risks. It didn't take very long for him to oblige.

"That sounds good," he responded thoughtfully, a small smile was on his face. "Ying Yue, you're too kind to them."

"Thank you, Your Majesty, I won't let you down. I'll be sure to be on my best behaviour." I let a smile rest on my face as well. The situation was tense and I wanted to ease the Emperor's discomfort.

Sometimes, being too kind was the worst thing you could ever do. People don't really appreciate it.