I dreamt of a mother bird watching over her babies. It was a little hazy, as there were only a few parts I managed to understand. The mother bird flew, and flew into the sky, attacking anyone who went against her children. It was a hazy, dark night and the wind was strong. The mother bird was extra protective, she eyed every human running from the rain as targets, she even eyed the little boy jumping in the large puddle. The boy squealed in ecstasy but his mother scolded him. Of course, they had to go home. The boy was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, not a bright yellow raincoat. Finally, the mother bird gets tired and arrives back at her nest. However, the strong winds have blown it away. And so, the mother bird is in defeat.

Before I woke up, I was in tears. I cried although I was still dreaming. I laid in bed with tears trailing down from my eyes, but I kept my eyes closed. I wonder if I lay here for the whole day, the higher entities above will get bored of me and help me go back to 2018. I missed my family. It hasn't been a week but I was already going insane. The thought of people that cared for me, searching everywhere to find me, saddened me to such an extent. The idea of me never coming back home—and accessing the Internet, crushed my spirit. I felt out of reach with my true reality. I was still at home, in my head, but my body was here. The embrace of homesickness felt foreign, liberating, but also frightening, knowing that I may not make it out.

But I sensed another presence with me.

"You have awakened," His Majesty breathed.

His face was about ten inches away from me. He was kneeling to face me. I didn't expect him to pop up into my chamber uninvitedly, but I wasn't complaining at all. He didn't smile, yet he had a friendly tone in his voice.

"Good morning, Your Majesty. May I ask why you've come this early in the morning?" I yawned, covering my mouth as I widened my mouth. He would be unattracted after looking at me yawn.

"I just wanted to see how you were. Nothing unexpected happened, except for me showing up," the Emperor replied, backing away from me as I got up from the second bed. "May I ask why your lady-in-waiting is sleeping on your bed?"

Is he mad? I couldn't tell if he was or not. He looked at me with no expression on his face; he studied me carefully. Does he know that it makes me nervous? I smoothed the front of my hair down. I tried to make it seem like I was busy doing something to think of my answer.

"Truthfully, Your Majesty, I wanted to take turns with Hua Er because it's not fair for me to take the bed every night. I apologize and take any blame for it if I broke any rules."

The Emperor, still, showed no expression. It was as if he was thinking about something. "That's very courteous of you. There are no rules involving this. Truly, I just didn't expect you to do it."

This pig.

"You think I'm a horrible person, Your Majesty? Is that what you were aiming for? I thought we made it clear that whatever happened the first time we met, I was being rebellious and foolish," I retorted.

As his back was turned against me, I could see his shoulders moving, and his entire body shaking. His laughter spread across the room, and it was the most unexpected thing that ever happened to me. It was too early for this. "I'm amused by the look of your face, forgive me if I offended you," he faced me again, a big smile spread on his face like a little boy after someone gave him toy cars for his birthday. "It's entertaining to tease you."

"I'm glad to amuse you, Your Majesty."

I will slap you silly.

"Of course," the Emperor replied. He opened his mouth to say something but paused. "I wish I could talk to you more, but I am very busy. I hope to see you soon, Ying Yue."

"Likewise." I gave him a bow as he turned his back on me and left my chamber.

"Also, I will provide you with four maids a little earlier," he turned his head around.

"Your Majesty, I thank you for your kindness..."

He left promptly.

Well, that was... eventful.

I was just going to say that four maids were too much...

The Emperor left a different impression after he left my room. His childlike behaviour showed this morning, which I've never seen before. I knew he had a tough exterior, but I soon realised he wasn't what he looked like. As I was left alone in my thoughts, I turned my head to my left side. "Hua Er, I know you're awake."

Fake sleeping Hua Er began to open her eyes immediately after. "You woke me up."

"Don't lie to me. When His Majesty was talking to me, I saw your eyes open and close." I let out a soft giggle.

"I did no such thing, don't accuse me so quick," Hua Er replied with a grin.

Being in the palace was an absolute bore. Since all the other concubines settle in the palace just for the Emperor, there's not much to do unless you're having sexual intercourse with him. However, concubines were set to do chores at times, take care of the Empress Dowager, and during our free time, there were games to play. Today, I played cards.

"You're getting a hang of this!" Su Yin, a former Imperial Concubine, was complimenting me the entire match.

"Thank you, it's my first time!" I smiled back as I peered down at my cards.

"You've never played this game before?" Jia Ying, Su Yin's lady-in-waiting, called out in shock, widening her eyes.

Su Yin and Jia Ying were kind people. They helped me adjust to the Palace and made sure everything was fine for me. They were the type of girls to not compete with other concubines. Personally, I never would've known I was going to make friends but since I was staying for a bit, it's best to make friends or else I will end up lonely. Jaxon and I don't get to see each other daily.

I placed a card on top of Su Yin's card. "These rules are slightly different than what I've played before."

Su Yin has been staying in the palace for a year, and her rank is still an Imperial Concubine. The Emperor does not ask her to arrive at his chamber anymore. Surprisingly, Su Yin is neutral about the situation. Her parents died at an early age before she became a concubine and living in the palace was the only way to escape her abusive aunt. The reality of living in the harem was brutal. You either get lucky and the Emperor favours you, or you rot in this place and rarely ever see the Emperor. All these girls want to rank up, not just to be the Empress, but for a better life and salary to provide for their families. Some are here politically and may be favoured due to their household name.

Jia Ying was Su Yin's sister and lady-in-waiting. They both looked alike, but Su Yin had angrier features. Jia Ying's face was soft, delicate. Her nose was more pointier, lips slightly more fuller, and her eyes are wider than her sister's eyes. Su Yin had feline, slanted eyes and her rested face looked as if she hated the world.

"I win!" Su Yin threw her cards down, raising her arms in victory with a big smile on her face.

"You always win!" my lady-in-waiting whined grumpily. She threw her cards down full of emotion.

"You won four times in a row," I mentioned as I took a sip of my tea. "How do you do it?"

"I've been playing for years," Su Yin started to shuffle the cards, despite the rule that the loser is supposed to. "It can be a bore here—sometimes I don't get a lot of chores to do because I get away with it. I'm not quite like the other Imperial Concubines because I have close relations with a high-ranking consort. During our free time, Jia Ying and I would play for hours. Sometimes, we like to bet our food on it. When the other girls want to play, we bet items and food when we play. I think Jia Ying once won a beautiful pair of earrings"—Su Yin looked at her sister, in which her sister nodded in agreement—"from Consort Kong. That was a big achievement because Consort Kong is amazing at it! She usually hides in the shadows but whenever we bring up games like these, she'll start running towards us. However, we're not doing these bets for a while because one of the head eunuchs caught us... And also because there's Lady Niu Lin, Noble Consort Qi, who tried to frame a Consort for 'stealing' a pin she lost during a bet. She's a rat. Anyway, I'm not that good in this game when I play against other concubines. I think it's just luck."

"I don't like whoever Lady Qi is," I commented.

We watched the winner shuffle the playing cards swiftly, managing to keep the cards from flying in different directions. As Hua Er and Jia Ying talk amongst themselves, I glanced at a far distance to see a group of girls walking together. There was one in front strutting ahead while the rest talked amongst themselves. We did not look the same, attire-wise, and I couldn't stop staring at them. I tapped Su Yin on the shoulder. "Who are they? Are they also Imperial Concubines? I don't think they are."

"Quick, stand up!" Su Yin whispered.

I quickly looked around in confusion. As the strangers approached, all three of my friends bowed gracefully. I followed a bit later.

"What's your name?" a rather arrogant female snapped. I could feel her eyes scanning me like I was a barcode.

"I am Imperial Concubine Han," I looked her straight in the eye.

"Do you not know the basic manners and etiquette in the harem? How did you get in, Imperial Concubine Han?" she scoffed.

She stood in the middle of the two girls, meaning she was undoubtedly much more important than me. One of the girls next to her snickered, the other one winced. I could feel the tension between us, and I was assuming my friends with me could as well because they were trying to get my attention. I ignored Hua Er elbowing me. I wasn't raised to back down if someone was bullying me, what makes you think I'll submit here?

"I wasn't taught that yet, they taught us the basics during the ceremony. Please excuse me," I replied boldly as I crossed my arms. "May I ask, why should I bow to you?"

"I am Niu Lin. You may know me as Noble Consort Qi," she spoke, emphasizing her title at the end. "I suggest you practice your manners and etiquette. You, an Imperial Concubine, will bow to me. Since it's a good day today for me, I'll let you go. But you know what happens if you do not respect your superiors, right? You get punishments. I'm a good person and I know you are new. So, like the virtuous woman I am, I will let you go this time. But the next time, I'd like to see your head dip for me. Do you understand?"

"Well forgive me, Lady Niu Lin," I bowed. "Concubines, Noble Consorts, the Empress, they're all the same in my eyes. We are all sisters in the harem, aren't we?"

"You foolish concubine," she crudely laughed, widening her mouth to exaggerate her laughter. I wasn't trying to be funny. "I am your superior, I can get you lashed, watch your tone when you talk to me. You even chose to disrespect Her Majesty! I cannot wait to tell her what you just said to me."

I stepped towards her. We were both glaring at each other, but I can tell no one had stood up to her, judging by her behaviour. "Although you are my superior, I expect the same respect as well. Like previously said, we are all sisters in the harem."

"Hmph!" Niu Lin turned her head away from me. The girls surrounding her followed as she hastily walked away from us. Her hanfu was graceful, but not the wearer.

One girl stayed back. She slowly approached us with anxiousness, but surprisingly, gave us a friendly look. "Please excuse Lady Niu Lin, she's... not quite the virtuous woman she says she is—but please do not tell her I said that. Miss, I would be glad to help you out. If you do this to the wrong person, I'm afraid you might suffer the consequences."

"Thank you, that is very nice of you," I smiled.

"You, are a bold woman." Jia Ying smiled with her teeth, clapping at my performance.

"His Majesty favours her, Ying Yue could only receive light punishment," Hua Er said with confidence.

I smiled nervously, looking at them stare at me in awe. They were complimenting me but I've never felt so weird. When I made eye contact with Su Yin, she gave me a wan smile. She looked hurt. I waved my hands apprehensively. "I-It's not like that! Even if His Majesty favoured me, I would never... I—"

Su Yin gave me a reassuring smirk. "It's okay, Ying Yue, my interest in the Emperor is long gone."

"I'm starving, let's head back to eat." Hua Er interrupted, giving me a nod.

"You understand? These are very strict rules you must not break," the Noble Consort instructed solemnly, giving me a piece of tofu as she spoke.

"I understand," I replied with my mouth filled with food. "Mmf, thanks for teach... ing me, mmfh... You... really—"

"Please restrain from speaking with your mouth full!" my instructor was fairly sick of my terrible manners.

What can I say? I learned the best from my era.

I swallowed everything and laughed. "My apologies, this is definitely not going to work for me."

She sighed stressfully. "It's fine. I just hope you don't do such ill-mannered actions when you are in front of His Majesty. He'll lose interest in you and never pick you for night attendance. You understand that bearing children is significant for your ranking, yes? Are you listening to me, Ying Yue?"

"To Hell, I care about bearing his child!" I scoffed.

"Ying Yue! Please don't say that so loud!" she gasped. "I've never seen such a lady! You have a kind heart, I guess that it will balance things out. And you are quite amusing."

"I greatly appreciate this meal, and thank you for teaching me rules that I," sighing dramatically, I twirled around, "will probably break. Would you like me to escort you back to your chamber?"

The Noble Consort got up as well, giving her maids a nod. She looked at me and shook her head with a tight smile on her face. "You have the personality of a six-year-old boy. It's refreshing."

"Thank you!" I bowed.

I skipped happily with her towards her chamber and bowed again before I left to mine. It's been a long day. I was glad that I didn't have to spend time causing problems with other concubines, but I knew I had to deal with this until I collect all the ingredients.

Jaxon.

I forgot all about Jaxon.

The only ingredient I could remember was Jasmine green tea and the Emperor's spit. I chuckled a little to myself. Memories of Jaxon and I laughing under the moon made me feel comfortable here and I couldn't help but miss talking to him. His little dimple on his right, the sound of his laughter... I needed to talk to him.

I sprang up from my bed immediately, and rushed out of my chamber to look for Jaxon. If I didn't make it too suspicious—I was an expert at sneaking out—I could find out where he stayed. As I scanned around the hallway, I saw a eunuch come towards me. I sped-walked past him, hoping he wasn't suspicious.

"Miss, I want a word with you!"