"Ready?" Senior Aylwin approached me as soon as I walked into the room. I hesitated for a while before grudgingly nodding.

I walked over to him, gently, encircling his torso with my arms. I sighed in his safe sanctuary. His enticing cologne was perfect to my liking. I tightened my grasp on him as his arms cocooned me ever so tenderly. Affection, adoration, love, and compassion, all gushing forth in the benevolent moment.

"I'm nervous. I'm afraid... If something goes wrong..." I couldn't go on as he compelled me to face him. My face was angled in such a way that my chin was proportioned to his chest.

He leaned up close and, with utmost delicacy, kissed my lips. It was neither a peck nor a long kiss. It was short. Too short for my liking and burning cravings. Nevertheless, too long to allay my anxieties. Assure me that if I messed up, then he'd be there to make it all right. We gazed at each other solemnly, sluggishly, and sensuously.

"It's going to be alright. Trust me. " Captivating candor crystallized in his glint-like orbs. And of course, I trusted him with all of me. With that, we drove away to our destination.

###

"Welcome back!" Ivy and the gang greeted me at my dorm. Senior Aylwin and I walked together inside. A beaming smile spread over my face as I inhaled the familiar fragrance of the dormitories and absorbed the lush greenery lined across the area. The reddish-yellow foliage was just a mere messenger of Mr. Fall himself. The flawless, intricate curved leaves paved our paths, detaching from their heaven and returning to the soil, even granting their heaven a place to reign. The atmosphere was all that fall brought with it. The fond memories of innumerable past years were heaped up in the back of my mind. The zephyr breeze swept past us, making me shudder with cold.

Romantic. Too romantic weather.

Red, yellow, fading green,

Vehemently fused to the skin.

For even who leave the home

Will come back one day.

Just like the shady greens.

"Geez, you're back finally. Being alone is so boring. " Ivy hugged me tightly, twirling me around as we all laughed in unison.

"It feels good to be back."

Definitely.

###

A week after such a long break. Damn!

It had been quite an adventurous week, honestly. Exhaustion was a regular visitor, but our one and only Senior Poker Face made sure to kick in its butts. And seriously, he did. My semester drew near and I had a ton of preparation to do. Everyone graciously welcomed me, offering their warm wishes and pleasantries. All inviting and accepting. It felt really good. It did, in fact. After all, that was something I was looking forward to. No awkwardness. No drama. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a simple welcome back.

"You're glowing." Ivy nudged me playfully as we sat across from my friends. Since everyone had been preoccupied with their semesters, we didn't get time to catch up. That's why we planned to meet in the café.

I swatted her away, rolling my eyes. "Pregnancy glow, y'know."

"WHAT THE FUCK! YOU'RE PREGNANT!?" Sheesh, girl! You couldn't possibly be any louder. The entire table was transfixed on me.

Just great! Definitely what I needed today.

Just then, I heard Senior Aylwin choking and coughing, while Senior Chase passed him a glass of water. All the while, I glared harder at Ivy. If only eyes could kill, she'd already be strolling the hallways of heaven.

"Are you fine, bro?" There he was, sitting ever so calmly—not at the time, but—still with his impeccable poker face on display. He made it a routine to check in on me every hour or two, whether it was through a single text or a quick phone call. He'd walk with me every morning and evening. Not to forget my coke... My sweet love of my life... He forced me to call it quits. I hadn't had it in months. Anyway, back to the issue at hand.

I rebuked Ivy, "Sarcasm, Ivy, sarcasm. Mysie, are you sure she is your sister and not some girl Mrs. Morris decided to adopt from the dumpsters? "

"You're so cruel. I'm hurt. " Ivy murmured meekly.

"I'm honored, Iv."

"Anyway, fellas... So, Hazel Eyes, how does it feel? To be back at uni after so damn long?"

"Honestly, mate, you scared us."

I flashed them a humble smile. "Guys, the past is the past. I'm perfect now. It's also a bit overwhelming to be back. I feel like I missed out on so much. And, my goodness! The uni event was solid. Everything was very amazing....."

And then we started chatting about everything and all the things I missed out on. It was refreshing to be back. At least, better than being in bed all day. I was bored to death. However, life seemed to be getting back on track.

Or so I thought.

"Watcha watchin', roomie?" I plopped down next to Ivy, who was engrossed in something on her phone. Her eyes widened, as she wore a horrifying grimace. I almost believed she was binge-watching horror until my eyes clashed with the screen and I felt my whole body spinning with shock.

Screams. Blood. Dagger. Pleadings. The girl. Little one. He.

ME.

The video started with loud screaming noises, backed by blurry movements in the background. Rattling noises and cries pervaded the screen. The hazy scenes turned more apparent with each passing second. Heck, at that moment, everything felt either too fast or too painfully slow. My thoughts were too congested to contemplate that fact.

A vivid image of a little girl, roughly six or seven years old, flashed on the screen, and then, as if in slow motion, the screen zoomed in on her face. The dullness of those swirls of green and brown stole the spotlight of the show. They looked dead. The majestic hues of luscious foliage and earthy soil were nothing less than a flooded area followed by a drought.

No-no-no! No! No! NO-NO-NO! This can't happen. Not now. Not after all this. No, please no. Tell me I'm dreaming. NOOOOO!

Her unkempt, ragged hair stuck out at pretty much every angle. The numb beauty just looked even more ferocious and feral with cowlicks. She looked different. Too different from the version she eventually became after years of effort. She looked fragile, like a porcelain doll in need of love, affection, care, and warmth.

A whole video flashed by, ultimately focusing on very familiar faces. All the breath inside me seemed to be sucked out as soon as I saw their faces.

What have I done? This... can't be... I-I... Lily's.... pare-nts... Did I-I..

"This is so scary, Soph. Look at that kid!? She's a freaking psychopath! How can a kid kill them? And so mercilessly!!??" Ivy's words were nothing but a dagger plunged right into my heart. Just then, her phone blared with calls. She soon left whilst talking on the phone.

I had nothing to say. Nothing to feel. Nothing to talk about. It was all said. She said it. Ivy said it. Very well, to put it mildly.

Wow!

She noticed the dagger dangling in her hands. She noticed the splendor of crimson hues intimate with rich ferocity with flesh and the ostensibly sharp object. She noticed the desperate pleadings and begging made in front of her. She noticed in the way they intended her to notice. She noticed everything, which was nothing more than a cloaked truth.

However, she failed to notice the violent shudder coursing through her feeble and defenseless body. She failed to notice the bleeding eyes, which held the hues of heavenly celestial. She failed to notice the intense contempt and loathing she had instilled in every fiber of her being for those petty bastards. She failed to notice the sadness and helplessness her small heart had conjured up, which was slowly dying inside. She failed to notice it all. She failed.

I dashed into the bathroom, locking it shut. I slid down, leaning against the door. My body hit the cold marble floor. The cool tiles were doing nothing to alleviate the increasing temperature of my body. It just added to my agony.

This is not happening. I need to call him. Call him. Phone? My phone.

Fumbling with my dress, I took out my phone. My shivering hands were not assisting me in any way. I was on the verge of collapsing. Shivering. Uncontrollable shivering. It was excruciatingly painful. Clawing at me. So much pain. So much to say. Everything burned. My head... it seemed to explode at any moment. A painful scream escaped my mouth as I tugged at my hair roots to silence the voices in my head.

My quivering fingers strained to follow my commands. I dialed his number, and fortunately he picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?" I heard his lighthearted and upbeat voice.

"He-he's b-back." My lips quivered. My voice? It was vanishing. Fading into the loathsome silhouette of Lachrymose. Anxiety crept in. I couldn't breathe as I struggled to keep up with him. Sobs after sobs left my mouth. I didn't even realize when the phone slipped from my shaking grip.

I frantically clutched my head. Nails digging into my scalp. I rested my head on my knees, clutching it as if it'd break at any moment. The only sounds were the beads of sweat drops gliding past my too chilly body and kissing the tiled floor with an obnoxious "drip-drop" sound. Words seemed to get caught in one spot. It played over and over again.

She's a freaking psychopath!

Lily's parents.

She's a freaking psychopath!

Lily's parents.

She's a freaking psychopath!

Lily's parents.

No. I'm not a psychopath! No! I didn't do this. No!

My breath!? I can't breathe... Ah, ah, aaaaa... My breath? Ah, ah... 1, 2, 3, breathe... 1, 2, 3, breathe.. breathe, breathe, relax, Soph... breathe... Aaaaaa!!! MY BREATH!? O GOD! My.... br-e-a-th...

My throat got clogged up. A choking sensation clouded my senses. An extreme sense of hollowness shrouded me. Spasm assaulted my senses. Bile rose in my throat. Thousands of thoughts swirled in my mind. Flashes of images sucked on my pain viciously. Black dots invaded my vision. And the last thing I remembered was the diaphanous drapes of my deleterious past before succumbing to the darkness.

###

You never know when life will pull the ultimate trump card. When I thought I'd make everything alright, life had other plans for me. A shattered vase cannot be put back together. And even if it's done, the crack and pores will still persist. My life was just like that vase, which was once broken. The more I endeavored to put the parts back together, the deeper they seeped through. Hence, I changed my life. I bought myself a new vase, thinking it'd replace the shattered one.

However, what I didn't realize was how long I would keep replacing it. How long could I keep fleeing from it? Someday, or the other, it'd haunt me back. After all, the cracks were like scars, ornamented on my skin. And scars never fade.

Even in the hellish fire of hassle, everything descends to embers, but nevertheless, the depth of intricate designs and sensual curves, bestowed on one's skin and body, survives.

My panacea had no alleviations. Not when the stitches were reopened. To the point, all I could see was sanguinolent scarred skin.

I was mystified. Tired beyond words. Verklempt beyond any thought. Breathless to the point where I might give up on my existence. All those so-called elysian visions seemed like pure, utter bullshit to me.

Where had I come along this path? How did I end up on this path? Which road should I even take?

My thoughts were like nomads. Fastidiously feasting upon my failure. The once-sailing ship then seemed to be sinking to me. The Titanic of my life. My expectations of myself had long ago hit a stalemate. What remained were the charred fragments of an ashen heart.

"SOPH!?" I jolted away as someone shook me. A pair of anxious hazel eyes probed my own frenzied ones.

Without thinking, I lunged at him, clutching him as if my life depended on it. And trust me, at that moment, it indeed did.

The mere whimpers of wails soon morphed into the sobs of suffering. At that time, all I wanted was to hold someone and have them assure me that everything would be OK; that I was going to be alright.

"Make it stop, Cherry-merry! Stop my pain. " In the mirror of life, the harder I fought to comprehend the meaning of those reflections, the worse I did. I needed the suffering to subside. To stop for ever. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. All to stop. For once and for all.

Ethel tightened his hold on me, tenderly caressing my hair as I wept in his warm embrace like a little baby.

***

"I called him. He'd be here soon. " He informed me while offering me a chocolate shake.

"What did he say?" I asked, meekly, while fiddling with the straw.

"He was scared." A part of me felt relieved to know he'd be with me. He'd return. I'd finally meet him after all those years. I was glad about it.

"Soph?" I stared at E, nodding a little.

He sighed, massaging his forehead as he spoke wearily. "Oh God! Who the fuck did this? Soph, did anyone else talk about this?"

I shook my head in denial, still trying to make sense of it all. I hadn't heard from anyone. Or perhaps I didn't bother checking my phone or asking Ethel about it. Those were the least of my concerns.

He knelt beside me, his hands encircling mine, brotherly security and warmth seeping forth. "Don't you think Aylwin should know about this by now? You can't let these fucking hallucinations get the best of you, Soph."

The question I'd been dodging from day one. What would I say to him? Would I even say anything? I didn't know. I didn't know anything. Even just thinking about it triggered resentful amounts of anguish.

My heartbeat quickened. Muscles clawing and contracting. A searing burning slithered through my skin and bones. The spinning of my mind tripled as a horrendous amount of pain blinded my entire nerves. The very familiar black clouds obscured my vision, masking the world behind the cloak of darkness. And soon I felt myself losing my balance, as the last thing I heard was Ethel yelling my name just before I unwittingly got lost in the tease and taunts of phony twilight.