"A shot in the dark gets you nowhere." My neck practically turned at a speed of 1000 m/s. I was more anxious about Senior Aylwin's next words than I was concerned about my whiplash. Angelo's competitive eyes mirrored those of Senior's. Neither of them was willing to give in.

"And you're implying?" Angelo inquired, his neck cocked slightly, his tone playful and humorous. He was getting on his nerves, to say the least.

Good luck with that!

Senior lifted his arm, coiling it against my chair in a subtle, endearing, and dominating manner. Or was I having a hallucination? If so, the paranoia was enjoyable.

"Isn't it obvious?" Words. Mere words. All he had to do was open his mouth and let some words out, and the entire world would fall at his feet. The dominance, elegance, and mystique that beset him at any and all moments proclaimed—'Speak softly and carry a big stick.'

"Aww, that's so romantic! Hot whale's insanely possessive of dolphin. " Angel gushed at us, and I felt a warmth run up my cheeks, making me red-hot. But on the inside, I was all giddy-giddy, behaving like a buffoonish teen. Blest my hormones!

Angelo was still oblivious to the message as he eyed all of us. His twin, on the other hand, was the one who took the initiative to knock some sense in her twin's peanut-sized brain. "You fucker! He's indirectly-basically saying—'Stop hitting on my girl'." His visage switched through a variety of expressions, eventually ending in a scowl. He sneered, "Whatever! I wasn't even trying!"

Whatever floats your boat, petty boy!

"Anyway, the hot whale is already taken, but what about these two—jellyfish and seahorse?" She gestured to Senior Ash and Senior Chase, whose faces were horrified by the names. The girls, on either hand, choked on their ice creams as they glared at Angel.

"I was only asking... No evil intentions... pinky swear! " Angel nervously chuckled as she raised her hands in surrender. The girls rolled their eyes, while the guys laughed and teased them over their weird behavior. I couldn't suppress the chuckles from escaping my throat, half-relieved that she'd forgotten about Senior Aylwin, who was silently watching everything unfold with amusement.

Angel will be Angel, huh!

The next day, I was walking across campus when I spotted a familiar brunet sitting alone. He sat on the garden's steps; his gaze fixated on the book. His round black spectacles gave him a glimpse of Harry Potter. His focus was eagle-like, and his lips moved slowly, mumbling something I couldn't catch. The somber expression on his face switched as the pages turned one after the other. Such a nerd!

I gained his attention by clearing my throat. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?" I asked, taking a seat next to him, only for him to create a safe space between us. Well, why wasn't I surprised? He'd resorted to his usual weird Austin self. Weirdo!

He shook his head, as if my existence didn't matter at all, and went back to his reading. So much for being nice! It didn't take long for me to put two and two together and confirm my suspicions. When my suspicions were confirmed, though, I became upset and mad, and the only way to get rid of it was to confront him. So that's exactly what I did!

"You're avoiding me." I stated, my gaze set on his bewildered and stiff form. His hand came to a halt in mid-air while turning the page, and his eyes met mine, which were clogged with sorrow and despair.

"No, not at all! Why would you think so?" He reasoned, but his reluctance was as transparent as a crystal in his gestures.

"Cut the bullshit, Austin. Why? Why are you avoiding me?"

"Aaah, so Princess Sophronia finally cared to notice the condition of his not-so-friend... Glad you did, your highness!" His demeanor took a complete 180 turn, leaving me gob smacked. What was he implying? The mockery didn't go unnoticed by me. Why was he acting in such a strange way?

"What's wrong Austin? What's the matter? Is there something bothering you? C'mon tell me... talk to me for once. Maybe I'll help you..." 

"Bothering and me?" he interjected. I was nearly dumbstruck when he gave out a bitter chuckle.

"Yes, Sophronia, you're fucking bothering me. You being with him is so fucking bothering ME. What does he have that I lack? Tell me, Sophronia... Fucking speak goddammit! " His words were laden with contempt and loathing, and I realized he wasn't the same Austin I used to know. He looked vile and malicious.

"I thought you weren't one of those girls who kissed the ground Aylwin fucking Eldred walked on, but guess what? Thank you ever so much for clearing up my misconceptions.... Thank you so very much for proving how wrong I was about you... matter of fact, you're just like them. " He was shaking with rage. Chest huffing and puffing from strained breathing. Fingers clenched into fists. He looked deadly, as if he was ready to kill anyone. Alas, the place was vacant, leaving just the two of us in the huge garden area.

"Why the fuck does he have to take away the people I love? Why does it always have to be Aylwin? Why?" Hatred. So much hatred. Just from him. Just for Senior Aylwin, or it might be a whole lot more for me. But why? He had always kept his distance from others, confining himself; in short, a loner. Everything was fine between us, or was it really? What happened back then? What changed him? Where did I go wrong? I never gave him false hope or misleading signals, did I? So, what the hell was wrong with him? All of the questions stabbed me brutally, forcing me to stand firm. I couldn't breakdown. Not in front of him, at least.

"Au... Austin... what're you saying?" I was helpless, dismayed, and faltering over words. I tried all I could to soothe him long enough to listen to him, but he couldn't contain himself. He was like a dam, and his emotions were like a torrent, overflowing through his hard exterior, and despite all the barriers, it managed to break through the dam. What was, nevertheless, the outcome?

Destruction? Yes. Catastrophic damage... Ruination of our friendship, along with my trust and affection for him. But, more profoundly, it would leave him gut-wrenched when he would come to realize his blunder. And by the time he would do so, he would be mortified in his own eyes. But, for the time being, he needed to let everything out and let go of all his twisted up awful feelings.

For I was ready to take some more pain only if it alleviated his.

But who would be willing to take my pain away?

For some cuts and bruises don't need antiseptics or medicine to heal;

All they need is a heart into which I could pour my heart.

"What am I saying!? Huh.... still don't get it... Soph, what am I to you? Tell me... just a mere boy toy who will lend you his shoulder in your rough time... " He mocked a venomous laugh. 

"Really, Austin? Do you think so low of me?? I would..." My voice was hardly audible, like if I were consoling myself. Trying to get rid of his false accusations. Boy toy? How could he think that? I genuinely wanted to be his friend, and I tried everything I could to blend in with him in every damn scenario. Then, why so many accusations? Why?

"And no, you can't bloody hell help me... not in a goddamn million years... Because you're the reason for my fucking misery... Before I really lose my shit and do something to myself, I suggest you leave me the fuck alone. " That was it! I bolted from there, fleeing from him, his accusations, and his ruthless verbal jabs.

"I'm so excited for today's race!"

You being with him is so fucking bothering ME.

"God, I can't wait!"

Why the fuck does he have to take away the people I love?

"By the way, who of them are your opponent?"

"Not revealed yet."

Just a mere boy toy who will lend you his shoulder in your rough time.

"I'll enjoy seeing Xavier's loser ass."

"Definitely man!"

Before I really lose my shit and do something to myself, I suggest you leave me the fuck alone.

His words whirled about in my brain like a tornado. I tuned out their conversation since I was thinking about Austin and his unexpected outburst. Even though it had been a day since the event, I was still struggling to make sense of what had happened. It was as though everything happened in a heartbeat. I had no further encounters with him after that, which I was grateful for. Neither I wanted to confront him nor I wanted to be confronted. What else could I possibly say to him? To put it in simple terms, I was drained. I felt like throwing up and my head was flipping out with a terrible headache.

"Sophronia freaking Jasper?" My bubbly world of thoughts was wrecked by a blow to the shoulder. My gaze was matched by a couple sets of bemused ones. They flashed various expressions at me, but just one set of eyes didn't reveal anything. He just gazed dead in my eyes. His intensity, his earnestness, it all triggered something odd in me, compelling me to just hold him and let it all out. Regardless, I embraced myself and forced a smile.

Because for all I knew, my eyes were the curtains between my soul and the world...

But when it came to him, they always lost their shame....

"Are you alright?" Ivy inquired, perhaps for the thousandth time since the previous day. She had noticed my unusual behavior and pushed me to tell her, but I smiled and assured her that everything was OK. If only she knew!

"Yeah, of course! Anyway, what were you saying?" Except for one person, I chuckled softly while putting on my act, and fortunately, they believed me after a while. Senior Aylwin had said nothing about it, but rather gazed at me silently but scrutinizingly, much to my wonder.

"I was just saying how scary it is to watch Ryder racing and all. What if something happens to him? Even though I know nothing will happen, O sweet Jesus, I'm scared shitless... " Senior Ryder was gazing at her tenderly and endearingly as Mysie spoke, her words interwoven with so much love and care. Everyone else oohed and aahhed over them. I, too, was delighted by their cute interaction.

"So, aren't you afraid about brother Aylwin? I mean, good god how dangerously-dangerous he races!!! I swear, one fine day, I'll have a heart attack from his racing. Huh!" She placed her hand on her chest, letting out a shaky breath.

"Exactly, Soph! Aren't you afraid?"

"Aren't you scared about Senior Aylwin's reckless racing?

Afraid? Was I? Yeah, I was! His racing scared the bejesus out of me. But who was I to decide what he should do or not do? It was his life, and he was free to do whatever he pleased. But certainly, I had every right to be worried sick about him; and, heck yeah, I was!

You know what was the main reason I never tried to stop him? His racing on the racetrack felt like he was racing against himself, against his own damn self, attempting to push the limits and dominate the ride to the end. He was a deadly beast himself, or more precisely, a brewing storm with stillness on the shores, and his beast was untamable as soon as his feet hit the tracks. He unleashed his rage and frustration, agony, and despair, and the list went on and on. We all need something to vent bottled-up emotions, and he used tracks for the same goddamn reason. And I would never take away his freedom under any conditions.

I believed him, and that time he had got more reason to breathe, which even he knew it by heart.

All of the voices around us were muffled, and all I could think about was him. Those words tumbled out of my mouth with our gaze intact, leaving both of us in a whirlwind of emotions. "As long as he's alive... I'm fine with it."