I wandered around the airport in search of something to snack on while I awaited my boarding call. I stopped at a nearby cafe and ordered myself a coffee.

My eyes were wide open, my brain felt foggy and distant.

"Lacey." The barista calls sliding an iced coffee across the bench.

"Thanks." I say with a small smile, taking the coffee gratefully as I make my way back to the gate lounge.

I walk slowly, my eyes scanning the airport. Everything was happening, but I wasn't really present. I was going home, and I felt like I'd just drunk fourteen kegs. Without the searing headache and vomiting. I hadn't actually drunk since my dad called. I spent the next week half asleep. Staying in bed. I did manage to feed myself, knowing that I needed to put some meat on before seeing everyone.

I plonked down in my seat and sipped on my coffee carelessly. My knee tapping anxiously. My stomach an absolute mess.

The next two weeks were going to be. Interesting. To say the least.

My boarding call finally came, as I made my way to the bin and there my empty coffee in. Before lining up to scan my ticket and board the plane.

"Seventh row, second seat on the left." The flight attendant directs me. I nod thanks and make my way to my seat.

I casually glance at the person in the window seat, next to where I was sitting and almost froze.

He's typing away on his phone, his right knee tapping anxiously. He did usually get anxious flying.

"Excuse me love your holding up the line." The man behind me says tapping me on the shoulder.

"Sorry." I apologise, shaking my head. I placed my bag into the overhead locker and sat down in the seat next to him, clipping on my seat belt.

"Hi." I say quietly. Seth's head flicks to me and his face drops. My heart wrenches at his reaction.

"Lacey." He says with a polite nod. Before returning to his phone. I flinch at the politeness.

We sit in silence. My heart beat thrumming in my ears, I'm afraid he might hear it. My brain was no longer foggy, and instead stood on all of my senses.

Eventually the flight begins to taxi across the runway. Seth's hand clench each other tightly at the movement.

"What is everyone going to say." I whisper, closing my eyes and pulling in a shaky voice.

"You haven't told them?" He asks me, giving me a thoughtful glance.

"No." I reply shaking my head.

"Neither." He says, letting out a sigh.

"How have you been?" I ask him cautiously. Hoping he would have felt at least half of what I was feeling.

"Well, not great. But I'm sure you already knew that." He snaps, making me flinch.

"How would I already know that?" I reply, keeping my voice quiet.

"Didn't you send Max to try talk to me? Make things better. You sent him to do damage control?" He snaps angrily. My eyebrows draw together in confusion.

"I haven't spoken to Max since that night he was comforting me. I told him specifically to leave it. So no. I didn't send him to do 'damage control.'" I retort, giving him an angry glare.

"You have no right to be mad at me." He says, responding to my glare.

"Really? Because you ended our relationship off of your insecurities. Didn't even try to listen to me. Brushed me off every time I came to sort it out. You were so set on me cheating on you that you didn't actually look to see how much your accusations fucking hurt me." I say to him, aggression and frustration building up inside me.

Seth stays silent.

"You're worse than Bea. Assuming we were together when we weren't." I snap, unclasping my hands angrily.

"Bea was right in the end though wasn't she," Seth replies, making me flinch.

"That's not what I was saying. I didn't have any feelings towards Max, we never kissed or anything. He was just being a good friend." I reply in a hushed tone, trying to smooth over the volume that had increased through our conversation. Making other passengers' heads turn our way.

"Lace," Seth says, a pained look on his face.

"What are we going to tell everyone?" I ask him quietly after a tense silence.

"That we broke up?" Seth says, my gut wrenches hearing the words again. It's still so real.

"Okay," I reply letting out a long sigh. "We took off by the way. Safely." I finish, giving him a small nod. His eyebrows raise in confusion before realisation floods his eyes.

I'd spoken to distract him. It worked. But it hurt.

Seth's mouth opens, before closing. He turns his attention away from me. I nod slowly to myself. Before settling in for the flight. Ignoring the pain that wrapped around my gut. Closing my eyes, attempting to get some sleep.

After a few minutes, I decided to take a sleeping pill, because sleeping would not be happening right now. My mind and emotions were too busy.

I unscrewed the top and shook one out, swallowing it quickly before re-screwing the lid on.

I almost see Seth flinch out of the corner of my eye.

I close my eyes, my hands clasped together as I await the effect of the drug to overcome me.

***

"Lace. We're here." A voice wakes me, tapping me into consciousness.

"I'm not getting up. I'm tired bubba." I murmur with an annoyed sigh.

"Lace. The flight has landed." Seth says again, cooing me awake. I flinch in confusion, pulling myself off Seth's shoulder.

Oh.

Everything hits me like a ton of bricks.

"Sorry." I apologise quietly, standing and grabbing my bag quickly. Starting down the isle of the nearly empty plane.

I cross the tarmac and enter the airport, looking around for an awaiting Molly.

Instead, I see Bea.

"Lacey!" Bea exclaims starting towards me. Wrapping me up in a hug.

"Hi Bea," I say, attempting to act as excited as possible. The weight of what I had to tell her resting on my shoulders.

"Gosh you're tiny! Are you okay?" She asks, looking me up and down.

"I'm fine. Just been a bit stressed and overwhelmed at the moment." I reply, wincing at the lie. I open my mouth to add the truth but Bea rushes past me.

"Seth!" Bea exclaims, wrapping him up in a hug.

"Hey Bea." Seth says with a half chuckle at her enthusiastic nature.

"Come on then. I'm giving you two a ride to ours. We're having dinner." Bea says nodding towards the entrance.

Seth and I immediately lock gazes. I close my eyes for a second before gathering myself. I look away and start following Bea towards the car.

She chatters away, telling us about school and everything going on between her and Luke.

"You guys are awfully quiet today? Lovers spat?" Bea asks with a teasing smile.

I open my mouth to reply, but the lump forming in my throat makes it come out as a squeak. I try again swelling down the lump in my throat, blinking back tears.

"Actually Bea-" I start before Seth interrupts me.

"Yes. Actually. So don't push it." Seth snaps towards Bea. My gaze flicks to his and he raises his eyebrows, asking me to follow along. Confusion settles on my face as we arrive at the car.

"Oh. Sorry." Bea says with an awkward grimace. I place my bag into the boot of the car before climbing into the back seat. While Seth and Bea climb into the front.

"So. How's Louisiana guys?" Bea asks us cautiously.

I shrug at her in the mirror.

"Could be better." I reply, meeting Seth's gaze in the mirror.

"Seth?" Bea asks, looking to him.

"Yeah. It's good." He replies. I wince. A small pain stabbing my heart.

It's almost like Seth's twisting the knife into the wound.

"That's good. Why could be better Lacey?" Bea asks me softly.

"Oh you know." I say waving my hands casually.

"Wait. Let me see your hands." Seth says, turning around quickly in shock. He grabs one of my hands, which I pull away quickly. The back of my hands were still healing, into dark scars, where they would eventually fade into soft pale scars, ones that would constantly remind me of this pain I hold.

"Lace." Seth says, his eyes bearing into mine. I blink away the tears that fill my eyes.

Bea watches the exchange in the mirror with confusion and concern. Seth turns back around, looking out the mirror his forehead creased with thought.

"Mom's going to throw a fit when she sees how tiny you've gotten Lacey." Bea says ignorantly. I just nod. Staring down at my hands, playing with the sleeve of my hoodie.

The car pulls up outside the Nixon household.

"I don't know what's happened. Or whatever you two fought about. But you better pull yourselves together before we go inside." Bea says looking between us, like a mother scolding her children.

I open my mouth to tell Bea the truth. But Seth interrupts me once again.

"Can I have a few minutes with Lace before we come inside?" Seth asks, his gaze dropping to his lap.

"Yeah of course." Bea says, before climbing out of the car with a small wave.

Silence fills the car. I nibble on my lip anxiously.

"We can't tell them." Seth says, breaking the silence.

"Why not?" I ask him, confusion flooding my face.

"It complicates everything. Bea would have to pick sides, your mom and dad and Molly would pick sides. It would set our entire families against each other." Seth explains, his voice catching over a few words.

"You haven't heard?" I ask him, confused.

"Heard what?" He replies, on edge.

"My parents are divorcing, my mom moved to Brazil. Or is moving. She came to see me right before I saw you at the club." I explain, a few tears dropping down my face.

"Oh." Seth replies, looking as if he was unsure what to reply.

"But okay. We won't tell them yet." I agree with a small nod, wiping the tears away quickly. Careful not to rub my eyes in order to avoid red eyes and questions.

Seth nods. I open the door and begin to make my way inside, after grabbing my bag from the boot, bringing the conversation to a stop.

***

"No way!" Trina exclaims with a laugh as Bea tells a story about her uni activities.

"I know!" Bea says grinning.

"Seth, how has school been for you?" Bradley asks, cutting up a slice of steak.

"It's been okay." Seth replies with a slow nod, as he takes a nibble of a roast potato.

"How about you Lacey?" Bradley nods to me.

"I.. uh.. actually am currently on a mental health break," I announce, My father freezes, halfway to putting a bean in his mouth while Seth's gaze shifts to me in confusion.

"I didn't know that?" My dad asks me.

"I tried to tell you, but my phone was broken so I couldn't. I must have forgotten to mention it when we talked." I reply with a shrug.

"Lacey's phone was broken for weeks." Dad says with a small shake of his head, answering the confused faces. "How long have you been on a mental health break?" My dad asks me. I think to myself for a while.

The only answer I can think of is a week after Seth and I broke up, but I couldn't tell you when that was. Maybe a few weeks ago, maybe months. That time had become one massive lump.

"I don't know. The days sort of got lost somewhere along the way." I answer, swerving around the edge of the question. I can feel Seth's eyes burning into me.

I pick at the food on my plate. While the room lapses into silence. I can feel eyes on me.

"If it's okay. I'm going to go have a shower." I say as I stand. The lump in my throat returned.

"That's okay love. We will save your food for later." Trina says softly. I nod and make my way upstairs, towards Bea's shower. I grab a towel and close the door behind me. Immediately falling against it.

I was failing. Failing at being okay, failing at being my dad's bubbly girl. I was failing. And I couldn't help it. Where was the numbness when you needed it?

I stand slowly and pull off my T-shirt. Revealing my tiny frame. I flinched in the reflection. Tears pouring out of my eyes.

There's a soft knock at the door, and thinking it's Bea I pull it open. Not bothering with covering up.

"They wanted me to check on you," Seth says, his sentence trailing off as his eyes run down my body. "Jesus Christ, I'm killing you, Lace." Seth says, gulping.

I shake my head, pulling my lips into a thin line.

"No you're not." I sob, shaking my head vigorously. He couldn't think like that. My mind is doing this to me. Any other person would be able to get themselves out of bed to eat. Whereas I had food brought to me and nibbled at it.

"Fucking hell." Seth says running a hand through his hair. He steps into the bathroom and pulls me into a hug, closing the door with his other arm.

I fall against him, a sobbing mess.

"I didn't cheat on you." I sob as he rocks me gently, pulling me onto his lap on the floor. Seth drags in a heavy breath. I look up to see him crying softly. I reach a hand, brushing his cheek softly as he sobs.

"What did I do?" He sobs. I shake my head at him, unable to say the words.

You didn't do anything.

He wipes away the tears in his eyes, the ones sending a searing pain in my chest.

Seemed to be a constant reaction at this point.

"Why didn't I listen to you?" Seth asks, more to himself.

"Because all the evidence told you not to." I reply, brushing away a piece of his hair from his face.

Seth looks at me, his eyes full of emotion.

"Why do you love me? How can you? Lace." Seth chokes out.

"Because, you taught me how to fall in love with life again." I reply, stroking his cheek softly.

"You taught me how to love myself. How to love others. You taught me how to feel. You taught me how to be a better person. You. Not anyone else. You did." I reply, tears slowly falling down my face.

Seth looks at me, for a long time. His eyes searching my face. For a lie, for anything. But he can't seem to find whatever he's looking for.

"Can we have a shower?" He asks me softly. I nod, standing carefully. Pulling him up after me.

"I miss our showers." Seth murmurs softly as I turn the shower on. He pulls off his shirt and pants. Leaving his boxers on. While I leave my underwear on. Stepping into the warm spray.

"Me too." I reply as the water washes over me. His chest hovers behind me as we bask in the warm spray. I hand him the shampoo as he takes it. Lathering it onto his hands. Before running it through my hair. I let out a long sigh as the familiar sensation of his hands massaging my hair brings me a sense of peace.

He rinses it off and passes me the bottle. He lifts me up carefully onto the ledge. I lather the shampoo through his hair. Our breaths fall into rhythm, a sense of calm washing between us. Familiarity. My sense of home. Was being with him.

I rinse it off his head. He lifts his head, our faces inches apart.

"I need you in my life Seth." I murmur. "But I understand if you don't. So that's why I'm willing to take a step back. I'll look after myself better so you don't feel guilty. Just as long as you're happ-" I ramble, Seth's lips almost instantly meet mine.

"You are my happy." He replies, pulling away nervously. I grin and pull him back to me. Our lips dancing, as if they were making up for lost time. Which in all aspects they were.

"You two better not be naked together in MY shower." Bea shouts through the door. We pull apart.

"We have clothes on." I call back. Resting my forehead against Seth's as I smile.

"We shouldn't though." Seth quirks. I roll my eyes and softly punch his arm.

"Fuck I missed you." I say at his remark. Seth grins.

"Me too." Seth replies, pressing his lips to mine once again.

"Seriously, please get out before I knock this door down." Bea yells through the door again.

"Okay, we're coming." I call as I shut off the water.

Seth and I still had to talk things out. But things were looking better so far. And that's what mattered.