The question had been stuck with me for the whole weekend. Did I want Seth? Or did I want the things he did for me? Every time I think I come to a conclusion my stupid overthinking minds comes up with something to counteract it. Seth and I have known each other for ever. The same time as Bea and I. And Bea and Luke hadn't even known each other their whole lives but they're allowed to date???

"Fucking hell why is Bea so adamant about stupid no dating. She's fucking dating Luke for goodness sakes." I say angrily to Seth as we sit in the front seat of Seths car. Eating two burritos that I refused to let Seth pay that we picked up after a quick afternoon surf.

"I know. I think I'm going to talk to her." Seth says thinking to himself.

"I think we should both talk to her at different times." I counter taking a massive bite out of my burrito.

"Yeah. Isn't she going to yours tonight anyway?" Seth asks me through a mouthful of burrito.

"Yeah she said she was but not for the night . I'm going to talk to her. Because it makes me so angry that she's so against us dating or even being slightly together. Like I just want to be able to kiss you without feeling guilty about Bea." I say angrily.

"Your still so cute when your mad." Seth says chuckling at me. I raise my eyebrows at him, challenging him to go on.

"Okay. Well you do that. And then when she comes back to mine I'll talk to her." Seth agrees taking a mass move bite and chewing it easily.

"Mission impossible that's soon to be possible." I say fist bumping Seth. He rolls his eyes and fist bumps me back.

"Also graduation tomorrow." Seth starts. I immediately sigh.

"Our high school careers are over for good." I say with a sad sigh.

"They are." Seth agrees with a nod, looking out at the ocean view finishing off his burrito.

"Have you decided on college?" Seth asks me.

"Nope." I say letting out a stressed sigh. "You?" I ask him.

"Louisiana I think is the go." He says with a nod.

"That's good. Nerd." I say taking a massive bite into my burrito as I smile.

"No no no. Your the nerd here. We all know it." He says grabbing my burrito out of my hands and biting into it.

"Wow that was dry." I say struggling to get it back. He takes another big bite into it and pulls back with a satisfied grin. I slap his leg and pull the burrito towards me protectively.

"He does this every year." I say in my slid the sloth impersonation.

Seth rolls his eyes and starts up the car.

"No." I say with a moan. "I don't want to go back. That means I have to pretend to think your a disgusting human being. Oh wait I don't have to pretend." I say with a cheeky grin.

"We both know what you think of me." Seth says smirking turning the car off again.

"What's that?" I ask him with an air of confidence.

"Father my kids she says." He says with a teasing grin. I give him half a shove.

"Whatever." I say with a roll of my eyes as I finish off my burrito.

"Ok but I do actually have to take you home." Seth says starting up the car again. I let out a large groan.

Seth just chuckles and shakes his head as he begins to pull out of the car park.

***

"Periwinkle or burnt orange?" Bea asks me handing me a nail polish.

"Periwinkle." I say studying the two colours. Periwinkle was a baby blue type nail polish and burnt orange, well it's pretty self explanatory.

I touch up my white nails from prom which only have a few tiny chips in them before sitting on my bed clutching my phone in my hand anxiously.

"Bea. I know you uh don't like Seth and I together but why. I know you don't want to have to choose between us if it all goes south. But what if it doesn't? Did you think about that?" I say suddenly feeling myself getting worked up.

"Lacey. Look I love you and Seth to the ends of this earth. And I've slowly been coming around to the idea. I guess I have been a bit bitchy to you about it I just don't won't to loose both of you." She says a sad look in her eyes.

"Bea. Seth and I are both mature. If we become a thing and if it goes south then we will sort it out, we've been friends our whole lives, just like you and me. I think those 17 years of friendship count for a lot." I say convincingly.

"Ok. That's fair. But I don't want you two to rush things. I've seen how you two look at each other. I have seen it. Just be careful please." Bea says giving me a soft look.

"Wait? So your saying yes???" I ask my eyebrows pulling together into how easy that was. It seems you just have to communicate for problems to be easily resolved.

"I'm saying yes but you should take your time. You and Seth have a good thing." Bea says with a slight smile.

"Oh my god." I say pulling her into a tight hug.

"Also I think it'd be kinda cool if you became my sister in law." Bea says with a sly grin. I roll my eyes at her.

"Take your time she says." I say mocking her. She laughs and finished up her nail polish.

"How have you been lately? Like mental health wise?" Bea asks hesitantly.

"Not too bad actually. I mean it always has its moments. But no those moments haven't been as bad lately." I say smiling to myself. My mind instantly ticking to Seth.

"That's good. I'm really glad." She says with a grin as she packs up the nail polish. Then she shoves it in its place under my bed. And flops onto me.

I roll her off me with a chuckle. We launch into conversation. Real conversation, the one I haven't had in a while. In a long while. Finally at around dinner time Bea takes her leave.

I immediately pick up my phone and consider messaging Seth before I put it down again. He'll be about to have this same conversation. I smile to myself as I flop onto the bed. Everything seemed to be going right.

I think deep down I knew this wasn't going to last. That soon I'd be lying in bed, struggling with the lack of motivation to do any daily activity. But this time instead of dreading it, I was taking in the good moments. Reminding myself to be grateful for what I had. What I was feeling right now.

"Lacey. Dinner." My dad calls down the stairs. I stand up quickly and fix myself in the mirror. Before jumping down the steps.

"I'm not that hungry I had burritos earlier after a surf." I say as dad scoops some lasagna onto a plate. He cuts the lasagna in half and scoops it back into the pot. Leroy and Jacob left on Saturday night, after prom. So the house seemed empty again.

"Dad. Have you seen my grey pyjama set?" Molly calls as she bounds down the stairs.

"Yeah it's in the dryer. Should be dry." He says as he hands me a plate and carried the other three down to the kitchen table.

"Hello Lacey." My mom says cautiously as she enters the room. My smile half drops.

"Hey mom." I mutter annoyed scooping lasagna into my mouth. My mom nods and takes her seat next to Molly across from dad. I keep my gaze onto my plate as I half heartedly scoop lasagna into my mouth.

I guess it's hard to pretend to like people who don't care that you didn't want to be here anymore.

Molly launches into conversation about her boyfriend and how she wants him to meet mom and dad. I let the conversation fade into the background.

The question that had been circling around my head since prom night thundered through my mind. What was I going to do. I didn't want to date Seth if I liked the idea of him. I mean my last relationship, only relationship, turned to shambles. What if Seth switches up on me like I switched up on Tommy. I mean Seth hadn't exactly said that he liked me. I mean he suggested we dated and told me I was a girl he was interested in. But does he mean it?

I pick up my plate and carry it over to the dishwasher, rinsing it clean and placing it in the dishwasher carefully before bounding up the stairs into my room.

I flip onto my bed, staring out my window at the slowly setting sun. I smile to myself gently thinking.

My phone buzzes where I abandoned it earlier on my bed for dinner. I immediately grab it and see Seths name flash on my screen. I pick it up with a grin and answer.

"A nice little surprise wasn't it." I say into the phone.

"All she said was take our time?" Seth says in an excited unbelievable tone. I could hear his grin through the phone.

"I know. I didn't think it'd be that easy." I say with a chuckle.

"I mean she's Bea after all." Seth says with a small chuckle.

"I can hear you!" I hear Bea's voice y'all through the speaker.

"I love you Bea." Seth calls out with a chuckle.

"Yeah yeah." She says her voice closer this time.

"Hi Lacey." Her voice calls into the phone.

"Hi Bea." I reply with a grin. I can hear Bea close the door as Seth chuckles to himself.

"What time do your parents fall asleep?" Seth asks me.

"Like usually 11?" I estimate.

"That's so long oh my god." Seth says with a sigh.

"Why?" I ask him confused.

"I wanna come over and hang out with you." He says with a sad sigh.

"It's graduation tomorrow." I remind him.

"Yeah and do you want to be running on a nice Seth sleep or a drug induced sleep?" He asks me in a duh tone.

"My parents love you. Just come over now." I say in an easy tone. Smiling to myself. I hear rustling.

"Hold tight." He says before quickly hanging up. I roll my eyes. I sit up smiling to myself and catch myself in the mirror. My eyes widen. I look a right mess.

I pick up my phone again messaging Seth.

Getting in shower, give me ten minutes then come.

I drop my phone again and rush towards my bathroom. I pull my hair down and get under the warm water. Washing thoroughly. Lathering shampoo through my hair. I step out of the shower and wrap the towel around my waist before heading out of the shower.

I throw on some green checked pyjama shorts and a grey cheer hoodie. I pull my hair up into a messy bun before plodding down the stairs.

"Exactly so business is the better option to study." Seth says nodding his head. He's washing the lasagna pan in the kitchen sink as my dad stacks the dishwasher. My mom is sitting at the kitchen table, going through her work folder. Molly is sitting at the barstool.

"Yeah I mean look at how well your mother did with business. It's in your genes." My dad says thoughtfully.

"That's true." Seth says with a nod his eyes snapping up to meet mine as I walk in. We both grin before he throws me a quick wink.

Molly is scooping out something from a bowl in front of her while scrolling on her phone.

"Ooh what's that?" I ask her as she looks up, scooping a spoonful of what looks like ice cream and cinnamon scroll into her mouth.

"I want some." I say with a pout. She points to a container on the bench. I bound over to it and grab a bowl.

"Would anyone else like some cinnamon scroll with ice cream?" I offer.

"Yes please." Seth says with a grin as he stacks the lasagna pan onto the drying rack.

"No thanks." My mom calls from the dining table. I look up at my dad who shakes his head.

I pull out a second bowl and grab the ice cream from the freezer. I pop the cinnamon scrolls into one bowl and place them into the microwave for 45 seconds to get slightly warm enough to just lightly melt the ice cream. Once they're done I pull them out and scoop two scoops of ice cream onto them.

"Here you go." I say plopping two spoons into each of the bowls and passing him one.

"Thank you." He says taking it gratefully and plopping it down on the island bench. I swing myself onto the seat besides him and scoop into it.

"Damn this is so good. Who made the cinnamon scrolls?" I ask Molly.

"My mom gave them to me as I was leaving the house to bring over." Seth answers for Molly.

"Your mom. Is amazing." I say scooping into the cinnamon scroll. Seth nods and scoops some into his own mouth. I scrape the bowl clean before rinsing it and chucking it into the dishwasher. Seth carries his bowl around which I take from him, placing it in the dishwasher.

"Ok we're going to go upstairs." I say grabbing Seths hand and pulling him up the stairs.

"Door open." My dad calls after us to which I roll my eyes at.

"Haha dad." I call back down. He chuckles at me. I close my bedroom door behind Seth.

"We get to date without Bea getting mad." I say doing a little dance.

"Your such a loser." Seth says pulling me to him his lips quickly finding my own.

"Yeah but at least I'm a cool loser." I say after pulling away. I undo my messy bun and run a comb through it.

"Can I Dutch braid it for tomorrow?" Seth asks. I nod and grab some hair ties. Plonking myself on the ground in between his legs. He starts working on my hair carefully.

"What are you wearing to graduation?" Seth asks me.

"You remember that dress that Trina gave me when I was 15. It was too big for me?" I ask him.

"Was that the white lace one?" Seth asks me.

"That's the one." I say with a nod.

"You'll look amazing." He says looking over me I arch my head up and poke my tongue out.

"Thanks." I say gratefully. Before putting my head back down. Seth finishes off one side before starting on the other. I let out a long yawn as he runs his hands through my hair.

"Tired baby?" He asks me gently.

"Yeah." I say as he begins pulling my hair into a braid.

"I'll do this then we gotta get some beauty rest." Seth says gently.

"Sounds good to me." I say with a small smile. Closing my eyes as Seth works his fingers through my hair. He finally finishes it off. I stand up and climb into his arms. Straddling his legs, resting my head in the crook of his shoulder. Pulling my arms closer to me. Seth flops back onto my bed, running his hand along my back gently. The sensation sending shivers down my spine. Seth moves slightly moving me with him so we're lying the right way along the bed instead of across it.

"You know for someone who doesn't normally sleep. You sure know how to be sleepy." He says gently with a small chuckle. I move my hand and press my fingers to his lips.

"Hush. We've had this discussion." I say letting my hand fall away from his lips resting on his chest.

"No you said it's because I'm a boy. But we both know that you wouldn't fall asleep in Carlos's arms." Seth says looking down at me.

"Sometimes I wish you were dumber." I mutter adjusting myself on top of Seth, sliding off to the side so I'm sort of nestled in his arm, one leg across him.

"Do you really? Who would do your homework for you?" Seth asks me with a light chuckle.

"Like you did any of my homework." I say shaking my head my eyes drooping closed.

"But I can. I just haven't." Seth replies.

"Your a loser." I say with a chuckle before a yawn escapes me.

"Says you." Seth mutters. I open my eyes gently to see his eyes closed, his lips drawn into a half smile.

"Whatever. We both know your the biggest loser." I say my eyes drifting closed once again. Seth lets out a small half chuckle. Before running his hand along my leg in small shape like movements.

I find myself falling asleep. A content smile, once again on my face. Knowing that this boy could possibly be mine. If he felt the same way.