Amira Sultan p.o.v

" What is wrong with me? " I pace from one place to another .

" Why am I feeling restless? " My chest felt so heavy since the time I told Khalid those harshful words .

and you don't deserve anyone's love and that's why your own mother doesn't love you "

Closing my eyes tightly I sat on the edge of the bed .

But his broken face flashed in front of my eyes .

" Oh my Allah '' I stood up and almost felt like crying .

This is the reason I don't say hurtful words to people; it always backfires on me .

"But he raised questions about my character" I defended myself .

But that doesn't give me the right to hurt anyone's hearts , my subconscious said .

" Well he doesn't have a heart, " I argued, turning around .

How do you know ?

" I do , he questioned my chastity " I gritted out .

" That too without any proof " I was fuming in anger .

Is it you talking or shaitan

This thought immediately made me calm .

" But -" I tried to justify myself but I stopped .

He misunderstood you ...

He is a human being named Amira ..

His men said there was a man

What was he supposed to do ?

" Trust me !" I said out loud to myself .

It's like my mind was divided into two .

Does he know you

" No he doesn't but it's his fault " I cried like I would go mad from my internal battle .

"Oh Allah " I hold my hand feeling exhausted .

Just then I remembered the teaching of Our beloved Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: "Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), Allah will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins."

I quickly felt guilty " I shouldn't have said those words to him no matter what " I cried feeling broken .

" So what if he said bad things about me , if I behave like him then what will be the difference between us? " I felt ashamed .

" He will be answerable to his sin and I will be answerable to mine " I tried to make myself understand .

" This is not what Allah s.w.t. wants , I am Allah s.w.t servant , I cannot behave like this "

" I need to rectify my mistake " I wiped my tears with determination .

Quickly wiping my tears I did my wudu and prayed two rakat for forgiveness .

Standing up I thought to apologise to Khalid as well though little part of me didn't wanted to but then again I am doing this to save my akhirah I mean just imagine you will end up in hell just because you broke someone heart with hurtful words I mean no person in this world is that worthy that we ruin our akhirah for someone .

Nope I won't let this happen to myself . I will apologise and end this topic for my mental peace.

I stood in front of his door " come on Amira you can do this " I encouraged myself .

I took a deep breath then knocked with a hesitant hand .

Knock ! Knock !

But surprisingly the door opened automatically , I think it was already open .

" Kh- Khalid, " I called out. His room was pitch dark .

" Khali- " tripping on something I fell on hard...

" Ow " I groaned holding my elbow. It hurt so bad .

My eyes fell on the finger lying on the floor , moonlight falling on his body .

My eyes widened in panic " KHALID !" I shouted running his way .

" Khalid ... " I shook his shoulder in fear , his eyes were open but he wasn't moving .

" Go away ..." he whispered , there wasn't any anger but emptiness that pinch my heart .

Not knowing what to do , I quickly switched on the light only to stare at his room with horrified eyes .

There is no single thing unbroken ....

" What have you done-" my words died in my mouth when my gaze fell on his palm .His long cut blood had frozen , there were a few drops here and there as well .

He kept staring at the ceiling and didn't seem to be bothered and fazed by it at all .

I was in a state of hysteria . It is painful to watch him lying lifeless like this ... THE KHALID MIRZA whom everyone is scared of lying on the floor broken .

Did my words hurt him this bad ??

See Amira I told you don't talk bad to anyone , see what you did .

Pressing my lip together , I kneel down beside him , immense guilt creeping inside my chest .

I mean I know I was angry but I don't wish him pain .

" Your hand, it's bleeding " I said softly , I know he is aware of it

I took a hold of his hand softly to examine it but he jerked it away sitting up instantly .

" I . Said . Go . Away " even though his tone was harsh , I can easily see the pain in his eyes .

I took a hold of his hand again but he jerked it away . I did it again but he pushed me back this time .

" Stop it Khalid , are you an idiot? " I grip him tightly so that he can't jerk it away again, still careful of his injury .

" Don't you dare to push me now " I glared at him .

I don't know how I got so much courage but I guess it works as he didn't push me this time .

Standing up , my eyes search for a first aid kit . Alhamdulillah I got it in no time .

I took a hold of his hand " it might burn a little " I said softly while his eyes softened as he looked at me strangely . Unfortunately the cut was deep , and my traitor eyes betrayed me as tears soon started to fall . It's all because of me .

He kept looking at me without a word . He didn't even wince when I wiped the blood from his wound instead I was the one wincing .

" Why are you like this Khalid? " I mumbled, feeling broken .

No words ...

Slowly his hand pushes back a lock of hair behind my ear and my eyes immediately snap at him . His eyes held so many emotions that I couldn't catch it .

" Don't curl your hand " I scolded him like a 5 year old child. To my surprise , he opened it again and I started covering his wound with cotton . I started feeling uncomfortable under his gaze now . I tried not to meet his eyes as I started bandaging .

" Stop staring at me " I spoke but he didn't stop so I told him what I came to say .

" I am sorry " I looked up , his forehead creased a little but he kept silent .

'' I - umm shouldn't have said what I said downstairs " it was so awkward to apologise .urgh

Slowly his hand raised as he touched my cheeks " what are you doing " my head back away instinctively .

" Because I wanted to see, " he said after a long silence .

" See what " I frown confused .

" That is you for real, " he said in a raspy voice .

" I hope you realised that I character assassinate you " his eyes dug a hole in mine .

" Still you are seeking forgiveness for what you said even though you were right " he leaned on the bedside not looking my way.

" We cannot treat people the way they treat us, " I answered truthfully .

His eyes snap my way ... thinking something .

" No matter how bad the person is ?" He raised his eyebrows .

I smiled unknowingly " you can't win people by hate Khalid "

" That's not true " he shook his head, chuckling in the end like he knows how wrong I am .

I sat beside him " tell me who did you win "

" This house , my men , this world " there was arrogance in his voice .

" Did you win Allah s.w.t ?" There was pin drop silence .

I smiled '' Khalid no matter how much money you earn , how many people love you , if you don't have your lord love then trust me you have nothing "

" And you have everything, '' he snapped .

" I do, " I smiled .

" I can hope but you cannot "

" I can love but you cannot "

" I can see light but you cannot "

" I am not drowning but you are " my last word got his attention , as he looked my way with an emotion that I knew deep down he knows what he is doing is wrong but I don't know why he is still doing it .

The real Khalid is behind this mask which he puts on every day

What is Khalid hiding , if he was a bad person ,he wouldn't be in pain right now . He wouldn't have struggled inside . There is something stopping him coming back to the right path and I will find out now no matter what .

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