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Callista woke when the sun was barely up, as she always did, and began roasting a few strips of meat that I had sliced the night before.

The smell of food after weeks of being starving roused the rest of us. Elise and Juno were bouncing around the room and professing their joy.

Despite my exhaustion, I helped Callista with the morning chores, and while she didn't express her gratitude, I knew she was thankful. After the daerna meat was prepared, I allowed Elise and Juno to gorge themselves just this once.

Daerna were large animals, even in the barest of winters. So it would still last us long enough for me to find more food.

Callista and I took the least as possible, for different reasons. The taste of meat disgusted Callista and I wanted to make sure the supply would last long enough.

"Callista, could you watch Elise and Juno at the market today?" I asked while she washed our chipped plates in a small basin and I dried them.

"We can go?!" Juno exclaimed immediately and I smiled.

"Only if you behave yourselves," I warned and gave them both a withering stare, "And if Callista agrees."

Callista muttered some sarcastic comment under her breath but agreed nonetheless.

The little ones squealed happily and I went outside so Callista could help them change into their good clothes.

I stalked further into the woods, staring towards the place I had encountered the monster. My weight rested against a tree as I closed my eyes and pictured it all over again.

The blue eyes, the auburn hair. The slightest hint of stubble along its jaw.

I clenched my fists at my sides and remembered how its breath felt on my skin. Its fingers on my hip, on my face.

Those brief touches sent my body screaming for more but when it wanted... that.

All I wanted to do was say yes.

Yes over and over again. A thousand times.

I scowled and kicked the snow. Was I so touch starved that I'd resort to anything?

The desire it had left pooling in my lower regions disgusted me. Less that it was disgusting and more that I was. Because I couldn't even begin to be repulsed by a thing so beautiful. Even when I knew it was dangerous, that it would kill me and feel no remorse.

Just like the daerna.

If I had to kill the monster, would I? I told myself I would, but if that time ever truly came...

I brushed the thoughts away. I'd never see it again. That was only a chance encounter.

"Don't expect me to be so generous."

I felt a blush darken my cheeks. It would be anything but generous. I'd heard the stories, how they'd take you over and over again until your voice was raw and your body was broken. Then they'd toss you back on the street with a few coins for their fun. And it embarrassed me that I would never want it to be gentle.

I rubbed furiously at my cheeks and tried to banish my thoughts but more and more bombarded me.

At long last, Callista called for me and I had other things to occupy my mind.

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"Remember, stay away from the expensive shops and-"

"Don't get too close or they'll think we're stealing," even Elise rolled her eyes as she said it. I was worried both of them would turn into Callista's.

"I'll be on the other side of town, so once I sell this pelt I'll come to get you," I explained with a nod at each of them, "and if I have some spare coin, I might get something special."

Elise and Juno babbled excitedly to each other so I turned to Callista.

"Is there anything you want?" I asked sincerely because if anyone was getting something, it would be her. She hardly ever took more than the bare minimum.

"We could use some perishables or-" Callista began but I cut her off quickly.

"No I mean, is there anything you want?" I reiterated, expecting that response, she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Worry about what we need first," she answered and crossed her arms and I nearly sighed in exasperation.

"This pelt will fetch a good price, Callista, there'll be more than enough," I promised her and she seemed to think for a moment.

"A book would be nice, maybe I can teach Elise her letters," she finally admitted and I knew that was as good as it was getting. Our mother had died before Elise was old enough to learn, she used to be a school teacher and thought it was important for us to learn.

Besides, Callista had always liked her lessons the best. When Juno and I wanted to play in the stream or run around, Callista always preferred our mothers' company, reading by the bay window.

I missed our home, it was warm and comfortable and we rarely had to worry about food. But when the soldiers came and our town became a battlefield, we lost everything. Our father was drafted, our mother was fired, and we were forced to live in the forest.

A place where most wouldn't dare venture.

"I'll find the most interesting one I can," I promised with a smile, despite my morbid thoughts.

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Fifteen minutes later I stood in the bustling square with the daerna pelt displayed on my shoulder. Callista had pulled my hair back with a ribbon so it would stay out of my face.

A finely dressed woman was making her way towards me, and by the materials she already had in her basket, she was shopping to make a dress. She was most likely a lady in waiting, sent here to make her mistress something spectacular for a party.

"Hello, sir, what is that you've got?" She asked in a soft voice and studied the daerna pelt. I took from my shoulder and presented it to her.

"It's the pelt of a daerna, my lady," I answered humbly as she skated her fingers over the soft grey-white fur.

"You flatter me, sir, I'm only a servant," the woman blushed and pressed her hands to her cheeks.

"You are beautiful as the richest jewel in the land," I replied with a smile and inclined my head to her ever so slightly.

"And did you take it down all by yourself?" She asked in awe, I suppose it would be amazing to someone who I doubted had ever lifted a bow, let alone a knife.

"With the help of my bow and arrow," I nodded and she fluttered her lashes up at me.

"I think this pelt will do wonderfully for the new coat my mistress has requested," she finally admitted and began to dig through her satin purse. "Oh, you are in the market to sell it, aren't you?"

"I'd sell the clothes off my back for a lady like you," I gave her another charming smile, even if the only ladies I'd sell my clothes for were my sisters. But it was necessary if I wanted a good price, though flirting with women made me queasy.

Callista had helped me learn years ago and found it very amusing that I was so terrible. It was possibly the fact that I was trying to flirt with my sister that made me sound like a drunken ox.

"Then I'll take it!"

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I headed the other stalls and bought a sack of potatoes, bread, and some blueberries. It was barely anything compared to the money the woman had given me, which was twice as much as the pelt was worth. And daerna pelts were expensive.

Next, I stopped by a few other stalls to search for a book for Callista. One woman was selling various inkwells and such.

"Excuse me miss, might you have any books?" I asked her and saw some parchment, I could get that too, so Elise could practice.

"A few, what are you looking for?" She asked and looked me up and down.

"Something for my little sister to read," I answered honestly and scanned the bits and bobs around her.

"How old is she?"

"Almost to her thirteenth season."

"What does she like?"

"Badass women," I grinned, Callista had always loved stories about powerful women, queens who could slay dragons; village girls who stood up to their abusive husbands.

She believed that women could do anything if they weren't so oppressed by the male-dominated society. And I agreed, all my sisters were amazing and forces to be reckoned with, Callista could probably kill a dragon if she was angry enough.

"I like her," the saleswoman grinned and pulled out a book from under her makeshift counter, "take this, she'll like it."

She handed me a large leather bound book discreetly. I tucked it into the folds of my cloak and gave her six silvers.

"If it's all right, I'd like to buy some parchment as well," I added and pointed to the yellowed scrolls, she nodded and another transaction was made.

After my purchases were made I set off to find my sisters.

The hustle and bustle of the crowd always bothered me slightly, especially when I was alone. In the forest everything was so quiet and still. But the town, the cities, they were fast and loud.

I kept myself close and sped up my pace, my sisters were no doubt at the toy shop down the cobbled street. Elise and Juno loved to go there.

And then I saw the Daqir's.

I cringed and averted my gaze.

Four seasons ago, their eldest, Etai Daqir, was my best friend.

We'd worked in the mines together for a little while, until he had... passed away.

Soon after, I was fired from my position.

After all this time they still mourned him. You could see it on his little brothers face, the slump of his father's shoulders. They say that his mother died of grief.

I guess I did a little bit too.

Etai took a little piece of me to the grave, a part of me he'd always have. I gulped and swerved as far away from them as I could get.

I still wasn't ready to face them.

I hadn't even gone to the funeral.

My eyes still burned when I remembered him. But the past was in the past, and there was nothing I could do to go back.

But the things I would have changed.

I scolded myself for wishing for the impossible and caught a glance of Callista's golden curls. As I had anticipated, they were peeking through the toy store window.

Oh, the things I wish I could change.