The daerna weighed down on my back and on my heart.

One day, I'd get us out of this place. Then I'd never have to butcher an animal again. I'd never have to feel its blood, thick on my palms. Never have to hear that terrible, heart-wrenching sound of its last breath.

I let out a heavy sigh.

They were such beautiful, savage animals. Just like the fae. I'd heard terrible stories full of gore and torture of the beautiful monsters. They lured you in with pretty faces and honeyed words and then descended upon your flesh. I wasn't sure if it were true or not. But I did know that they were deadly. And if I ever encountered one I'd be dead before I could open my mouth to scream.

They also said that the faeries stalked the Mouryll wood.

The very one I hunted in at this moment.

But it was only in the deepest, farthest reach where no light could pierce through the thick canopy. And thus, no mortal I'd ever known had been that far and come back alive.

Or come back at all.

Even though I claimed it was all just riff-raff I still avoided that part. Whenever I crept too near or began to follow prey there I got the indescribable urge to turn and flee. And if I felt like that, then I should probably listen. We had instincts to survive and ignoring them in this kind of place could lead to your demise.

The night was falling quickly. Quicker than I had anticipated. Only a sliver of the hazy golden sun was visible on the horizon. And it was sinking very fast.

My heart rate quickened and I broke into a small jog. No matter how badly it hurt. My thighs burned at the slightest hint of activity and the constant hunger made me dizzy. I swallowed back my fear and exhaustion and continued towards my destination

Just a little more.

Just a little more.

I chanted it in my head over and over again.

Just a little more.

Callista was so right. Callista was always right.

She was so much better than this life. So much better than these people. Callista deserved someone who could make her happy and comfortable. And that person could never be me, try as I might. I could only hope for the best life I could give her and the little ones.

I didn't deserve any of my sisters.

They were so good and so pure. Juno would never kill a daerna, even if it were about to kill her. And Elise? She was just so good. On the inside and on the outside, I'd never met someone so cheerful, even in the very darkest of times.

I flicked my tongue over my chapped lips and tried to stop thinking.

These were thoughts of dying. And I was not going to die. There was nothing out here. I would be fine. Our shack wasn't even that far away.

I inhaled the sharp air and plowed through the freezing white snow. My clumsy steps were making so much racket that I wouldn't actually be surprised if an animal attacked me. Not to mention that the smell of the fresh kill I carried would allure them just as well.

The cold biting at my skin was the least of my worries now.

The sun had set.

The monsters would prowl.

And stray animals would be the least of my problems.

I knew a way. A faster route. But it would be suicide. It would get me killed and that's what I was trying to avoid. But if I was fast enough I could make it.

My steps halted as I weighed the risks. I ran my tongue over my teeth and bit my lip.

I could make it.

Then I turned north and ran straight into the heart of the Mouryll wood.

All my senses were on high alert. Searching for the quietest sound, the slightest movement, anything to set the alarm bells blaring.

Nothing.

Good, this was good. My morals occupied zero space in my mind now. I was being driven by instinct, pure, primal instinct. My foot caught on a log and I stumbled but stayed upright, amazingly. But unfortunately, that was just another rip in my tattered trousers. But there was no time to think, just the pounding in my chest and the panic in my throat. I lurched into a wide clearing and leaned against a tree to catch my breath.

And then I froze.

Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit.

It was a man. But... not a man.

It was a monster in human skin.

He- it stood over the bloody corpse of a small mammal, hands coated in thick red blood. I swallowed the urge to release a blood-curdling scream. It wouldn't do me any good, it'd kill me before anyone ever answered my call for help. Instead, I stood frozen in perfect, silent, fear.

The monster turned to me and in the dim light, I was struck by how beautiful it was. Just like the daerna on my back, cold and limp.

Except this time, I would not walk away with its pelt.

It would walk away with mine.

The body fell from my shoulders as I trembled in fear. It stalked towards me, and I stumbled into the tree. The bark dug through my cloak and into my back. It was barely two strides from me and I was completely enthralled with how beautiful the monster was.

I shook my feelings off. I had destroyed them years ago, I wouldn't start feeling like this again. It was too dangerous.

But it had such a breathtaking mask, dark auburn waves and blue eyes deep as bottomless pools. I pressed my hands over my beating heart, terrified for more than one reason now. It let out a deep, rumbling laugh that shook me to my core.

"I can't believe a mortal took down a daerna," it mused in a low voice dripping with sensuality, I didn't speak. Couldn't speak. It dragged its warm fingers down my cheek and left streaks of red blood. "And one so small at that."

I let out something that might have been a whimper, or possibly a sob. It grinned at me and moved closer, our breaths mingled together.

"How'd you do it?" It breathed and I refused to let my eyes watch its lips. I was at a loss for words, too scared to utter a syllable. Its eyes narrowed to slits and it pushed me hard against the trunk. "I said how did you do it?"

"M-my bow," I gasped and cursed myself for letting the fear crawl into my voice. He chuckled darkly and I felt my knees tremble.

"I find that hard to believe, human," the monster growled and dug his fingers into my side. I yelped and scrunched my eyes shut, its grip was much harsher than it should be.

"P-please I have a family to take care of," I begged but it didn't seem to care.

"Of course you do," it rolled its eyes and looked me up and down. My breath hitched as it gripped my jaw in its hand with no hint of kindness. "I imagine you'd look quite appealing with a wash and proper clothes."

No, no. This was not happening.

"No," I snarled with surprising ferocity, it seemed almost as startled as me before an infectious grin curled on its lips.

"No?" I could hear the slight irritation but I wouldn't let myself feel afraid. Not with what it was demanding of me.

"I'm a man," I stated firmly and glared at it with burning hatred.

"More like a boy," he noted and I glared at him, "You mortals and your petty preferences," it rolled its eyes again and I only felt my anger burn brighter. I tried to shove it off.

"Let me go. You don't know anything about my... preferences," I seethed, but I was mortified that it could probably find out very easily. One step closer and it could probably feel my 'preference'.

Gods above, after seasons of locking up my feral desires I spent five minutes with a monster and it was all rising to the surface again.

"You mortals are far too much trouble than you're worth," it scoffed and loosened its grip on me, "fine. But if I ever see you again, don't expect me to be so generous."

I stumbled back and it stepped away expectantly. My guard was on high alert as I pulled the daerna onto my shoulders again. With a small nod, I began to turn away, despite every instinct that screamed not to do so.

"And by the way," it added before I could escape, "you should stay out of these woods the next few days. Or I won't be responsible for what happens to you."

--------------------

"It is well past sunset, Kellen. Explain yourself. Now." Callista fumed in a whisper since both Elise and Juno were sound asleep and curled next to one another.

"So you're just going to ignore the daerna on my back?" I gaped, I nearly died bringing it home.

Okay, it probably wouldn't have killed me, at least not until... after. I was just glad that the biting cold had calmed down the desire inside me.

"Why are you late?" She grit out and crossed her arms across her small chest.

"It took longer than expected to track it," I lied with a shrug and hoped that my sister bought it.

"Then you should've forgotten about it and come back home," Callista growled as I laid the limp body on the ground.

"Next time, okay? But spring is still a long way off and we needed the food," I begged, even though I knew that if Callista could choose she'd never eat meat again. If I hated hunting, she would hate it a hundred times more.

"Don't do it again," she muttered, I almost smiled, she looked and acted so much like our mother. With their naturally curly golden hair and doe eyes, but while mother's were the color of the sky, Callista had our fathers honey brown ones. I was certain she'd grow into a beautiful woman. Maybe she'd catch the eye of a handsome lord.

"Got it," I mumbled and pulled out my hunting knife to skin the animal. "You should go to sleep, I'll take care of this."

She blanched at the sight of the daerna's blood-soaked coat and complied with minimal protest.

And then I set to work.