《Power (Completed Story)》Apology 17
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These days, many things irked her. Such as being lied to, for one. Sadly, it seemed to be a part of her daily now. Fighting with her loved ones was another one too.
She knew that she was wrong to give Jonek the cold shoulder, but she had to let him know that his actions had severely hurt her. Additionally, the fact that he never ever told her of his side jobs - to put it loosely- proved how little he trusted her.
How can he treat me this way? After all the sappy, cheesy things he constantly drones on about family? He's such a hypocrite!
It was going to be a new year soon, and she sincerely hoped that she and Jonek would soon be on relatively good terms again.
Yes, she was nettled that her godfather had deceived her for so long.
Yes, she was incensed that Jonek involved himself in unpredictable situations by joining the Ascendancy Agency.
But what she was really bothered by was that by doing this, he was vulnerable to death. She was well aware of the treacherous seas that the Agency had a penchant for navigating in and never wanted her family to witness it. And yet here he was, in the eye of the storm, where he could meet his demise anywhere, anytime, without her shielding him from harm's way.
That was the main reason for her ferocious fury- because she was terrified of losing a loved one. Again.
The fact that she had joined the Agency for a year now and-
Wait. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. I am allowed to have breaks and visit my mother, aren't I? I can take advantage of this opportunity and attempt to make amends with Jonek as well as see Mama! I'll kill two birds with one stone by doing this!
Pleased with her idea, she leaped to Valesque's office.
"You want to take two weeks off?" Valesque looked up from his teal notebook and glanced at her. "Not a month?"
"Oh, I just felt that it's... not professional of me to take a month off on my first request." replied Alara.
"Very well. It'll be splendid if you can make it in time for the New Year's celebrations." remarked Valesque.
"Yes, of course." Alara smiled, and promptly left when she was dismissed by her boss. In spite of herself, she couldn't stop anticipating having her first holiday with Jonek.
Regardless of how mad her godfather made her; regardless of how deeply he hurt her... she will always love him.
"Alara!" Jonek greeted his goddaughter cheerily while waving his hand enthusiastically. This would be the first time where he would have a proper holiday with her.
His precious gem. Oh, if only Ren could join us...
He couldn't help himself. He never forgot about the little boy, and could only hope that wherever he was, he was doing well and living a wondrous life.
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"Hi, Jonek," Alara smiled sunnily, and announced in a piping voice, "I can't wait to just have a long break with you. So many things have happened and you-"
She paused when she realised that she was about to mention that unpleasant matter between them. A long and fidgety silence fell and the only sound was of their own breathing. Jonek waited for a few beats more, and then gently clasped her hand. "Alara." He spoke in a tender voice and softened with affection. "I know that my actions made you mad. From your perspective, I totally understand. Hell, I would be furious at myself too."
He chuckled softly when his eyes widened at the curse word. "All you've done is to keep me and your remaining family safe, as well as make ends meet. Point taken. But Alara. Something that you haven't learnt yet- or got to experience- is that love is selfish. Love is never selfless. At least in my experience, that is."
"Your experience?" teased Alara at an attempt to lighten the heavy mood. Jonek could instantly tell that she didn't want to hear whatever he had to say as she was terrified that if she was convinced by his logic, she would let him continue the unpredictable path of his without complaint.
But he wasn't about to let her off easily. He had to get her to listen to him.
"Yes. My experience. Love is selfish. We want to protect and safeguard our loved ones' interests and we prioritise them above all things- even our own safety. You know why? It's because that is how things are. When you genuinely love and care for someone, you have no regard for yourself. You don't think about yourself. Even if you suspect that your loved one is in danger- even if there is no concrete proof, you will do whatever it takes to protect them. For me, as long as I can lessen your woes, I will do anything for you.
That's why I did it. That's why I work for the Agency. That's why I do what I do."
Alara was in tears by the end of his honest confession. "Jonek..."
"I know, I know," he hugged her tightly and patted her head.
"I love you too."
"Jonek, look! I caught a koi fish!"
"You did? Ha! Take a look at mine- it's a rare one." boasted Jonek proudly.
"It is?" Alara was disbelieving and scruntinised the fish. And it was indeed one of the rarer types.
"This is a Japanese Showa koi." Jonek smiled as he watched the fish swim gracefully in the lake. "Look at its body. It has a variety of colours of white, red, and black painted across their bodies. Isn't it exquisite? Why, it reminds me of when I was a kid, my father would buy Japanese paintings and hang them in our house whenever he could afford it. Like those paintings, the colours of the Showa koi's body is similar to that of a Japanese brush drawing where every brush stroke isn't necessarily complete."
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Looking at her confused expression, he laughed. "Of course. You have no idea what I'm talking about."
"I mean... what's Japan? And koi- isn't it just fish?"
He was offended. "Just fish... gosh, I'm going to have a cardiac arrest right here and then." He placed a hand over his heart dramatically, making Alara laugh.
And then he launched into the history lesson. How Japan was a popular country back in the 21st Century, and how its cuisine like sushi spread across the globe. How it was an unqiue country with a variety of interesting cultures like harajuku, anime...
By the end of it, he had not only talked about Japan, but also Singapore, Korea... and all these things were lost and forgotten in the 22nd Century, just because nobody cared for history and only was concerned about having the best technology possible. How they were just focused on power.
A week had flown by in a blink of an eye. Jonek and Alara had successfully repaired their relationship and he had even promised that he would not dabble in treacherous operations anymore.
However, he had warned her that if he felt the need to, he would not hesitate again. He was beyond relieved when Alara agreed to that, for if she hadn't, he would be at war with himself.
And today, they would be paying her mother a visit.
As they had booked a stay at the inn for the break, they had not returned to his house yet where the ailing Cynthia Berrera lay.
Before they went to meet her, Alara had insisted on paying the Exicidium Forest a visit first, where she would resume her routine of collecting crepe ginger and jasmine for her mother. Except that this time, Jonek would be accompanying her. It had been his suggestion as he had reasoned that they could have more quality time together as well as prepare the poultice for her mother.
"You're a very filial and pious daughter, Alara," Jonek flashed her an approving smile as he watched her nimble fingers work swiftly and agilely.
"It's nothing. She's worked so hard for us all her life, and she deserves the best of the best." Alara thought back to the time when once, Renald had somehow crawled out of the house and ended up being lost somewhere. Her mother had been frantic when she realised her baby was missing and had searched every nook and cranny but to no avail. Yet her mother remained persistent and never gave up and only rested when she found the mischievous babe hiding under the spoiled sofa.
The memory was still so fresh in her mind that it seemed as if it had just happened yesterday. Oh, if only that was true, she thought. How fantastic would that be.
"Here, I've collected my fair share of herbs. It really is a taxing task. How did you continue doing this daily for the past ten years of your life?" pondered Jonek as he wept sweat away from his brow.
"I guess it's just the thought of Mama's health improving and being her vivacious self that keeps me going," Alara professed while collecting the last of the herbs. "I've never really thought about why I did it; I just knew I wanted to. It's because I love her."
"Is that you, my daughter? My Alara?" Cynthia Berrera blinked for the umpteenth and pinched her arm. She shut her eyes, expecting this miraculous illusion to fade away when her eyes opened again.
She was on cloud nine when she realised that her daughter was really here, in front of her. Alive and safe.
"Come here, darling," she started to walk towards her but Alara quickly helped sit her down and even started massaging her tired arms.
"You look better, Mama. I bet you're in the pink of health now; I like seeing you like this. Healthy, glowing- you're practically radiant! The medicine is finally working."
"I'm glowing with joy because you're here. You're all I need and have left in this punishing world. I hope you're fine, and safe too." At that, her daughter ceased massaging her and hugged her tightly.
"I love you too, Mama," she murmured, and mother and daughter melted into each other's warm embrace, savouring the irreplaceable and invaluable moment with relish.
The break had ended too quickly for her liking. However, she cherished the new memories she had made dearly as she had thoroughly relaxed and soothed her nerves during it. Getting to see her mother only made things better as for the first time in a lengthy decade, her mother was well enough to have a heart-to-heart talk with her and they even managed to have an outing together.
While they had not bought anything at the Grittie Market, they had window-shopped and oohed and aahed over the glimmering, eye-catching gems and gushed over the latest, trendiest fashions and fabrics.
The gaiety and merrymaking made one of her dreams come through. And that was to have a typical mother and daughter outing without bedeviled by worries or their own personal problems.
For the first time, she had let loose and enjoyed the simple pleasures that life offered.
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Paranoia!
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