which was hidden behind the line of hanging clothes-out of sight because it contained some of her valuables. She always stashed the white envelope which had bunch of dollar bills that Zafar sent from America for monthly expenses. The last past month's money were used up in countless things that Saliha had to go through the list to remind her of the spendings.

She carried her slightly bulky, branded bag to the bed and sighed as if her responsibility of taking care of the money was too overwhelming for her. Or keep checking to see if she balanced out the monthly budget. It wasn't that she worried she would run out of money. Even if she did, Zafar could always send her more without questioning.

The last time when she counted, she remembered she had over one thousand six hundred dollars. For this time she needed to convert five hundred to fulfill her expenses, which kind of slipped out of her budget. But it was okay. Things didn't always go the way they were planned.

She separated the to-be-converted crips dollar bills and placed them on the side. Then put away the unneeded amount in the same white envelope and stashed it back in the purse.

Now I have to ask Shehryaar to convert these, she muttered under her breath.

As she padded to the closet and began hanging the purse. There was a knock at the door, solid and woody. Saliha's attention leapt an inch from the clothes in front of her towards the direction of noise.

Who has to come now?

She hung the bag straps on the curved copper hook and footed to the door-with the spark of annoyance.

On the other side of the threshold stood Rumina-the same, typical face that Saliha encountered million times a day. She was holding the wireless home phone in her right hand, speaker muffled by her other hand.

"Saliha bibi, you have a call," Rumina said. She forwarded the phone to Saliha.

"Who's it?" Saliha directly asked before receiving it.

"Umm-you can ask." Rumina evaded the specification.

Saliha grabbed the phone, keeping her unsatisfied gaze fixed on Rumina and sticked it against her ear. "Hello?"

"Assalamalikum, Saliha." It was a very familiar voice that clinged Saliha's undivided attention.

"Rubab?" She was incredulous. Her gaze intensified on Rumina unintentionally.

"Haan."

Saliha was at lost for words. She couldn't believe that Rubab had called her, on her own, and that after so many days like over a month. How was she suppose to react to it? Positive? Or negative? What would she say to her? And why did she even call her in the first place?

"How are you, Rubab?" Saliha said.

"Shukr alhumdulilah. How are you?" Her voice sounded bland yet serious.

"Allah ka shukr hai." (Thank to God)

"Umm.." Rubab stuttered.

Saliha gestured Rumina to leave the room, and Rumina did so submissively, closing the door as she stepped out of her privacy.

"You called after so many days," Saliha said. "How is everything going?" Hesitancy was low in her voice.

"I know my call must be giving rise to so many questions." Rubab broke the ice.

"Kaisey yaad kiya?" (What made you call me?) Saliha said.

"Many things."

"What happened?"

The silence layered in the air. Saliha brainstormed the possible reasons Rubab had called her for. But none seemed coaxing enough to collide with her forming logic.

"I didn't call you forgetting what had happened in the past," Rubab said.

The guilty pinched Saliha's chest.

"I just wanted to say that I got a good proposal for Faiza and said yes to it. Last week it was the engagement. Nikah next month rakha hai." (Next month is the Nikah)

"Oh," Saliha said, as the realization hit her. "Yeh toh achi baat hai. Mubarak ho." (That's good. Congratulations.)

"Haan haan khair Mubarak ho. Ma Shaa Allah bohat acha larka hai. (Yeah yeah congrats. Ma Shaa Allah the boy is good in every aspect) He is educated from Manchester and has computer engineering degree," Rubab said. "His name is Azhar."

"Well that's really good," Saliha said. After what happened to Faiza, she was happy that her life had settled back to normal or it was slowly working its way back to it. "Mujhey khushi hui kay Faiza ka rishta ho gaya. Allah usko khush aur abaad rakhey. Ameen." (I am happy that you said yes to the proposal. May Allah give her all the happiness). A tiny smile enveloped her lips.

"For the sake of our relationship, I thought to inform you about this."

"Rubab, can we forget what has happened and move on?"

"For you it might not have been a big deal, but it was not for me."

"Do you still feel the way you felt months ago? Do you really?"

"When you say that it makes me think that you haven't understood me at all. You never realized felt what I went through."

"I understand you, Rubab. You are my sister. We are related. How can you make feel like I am a heartless person. I cried for what happened to you. I thought very often about what you had to go through because of Shehryaar's, in fact my mistake. Shehryaar didn't do anything. I forced that decision on him. He told me that I shouldn't have done that." After the last time Rubab left, deeply disappointed and furious from Saliha's house, Saliha hadn't talked to her since that day. Rubab never picked her calls, presenting clearly that she had broken all her ties with her sister. And because of that Saliha never got to explain what had happened.

Silence stretched on Rubab's side. Saliha assumed that either she had no words or she just didn't want to speak because it seemed worthless.

"Do you know what else happened?" Saliha asked.

"What happened?" Rubab spoke in the same tone, as if she didn't catch the difference in Saliha's voice.

"They broke Manal's engagement with Usman."

"What?"

"I got a call from Rukhsana after couple of days when Shehryaar and Faiza's happened. I was really shocked. I didn't understand why they did that. She just called and said that yeh rishta humey manzoor nahi hai." (They are not accepting this engagement/proposal.)

"But why?"

"She was saying that we didn't inform them about Manal's accident. We kept them in the dark, like we were hiding it," Saliha said. "Believe me I had no intentions like that. I was just so caught up in all the worry that I forgot about it."

Rubab let the seconds pass and then spoke. "Now you know how I felt when I heard that."

Saliha couldn't believe that her own sister was talking like that. How could she think that Saliha meant to hurt her on purpose?

"Rubab, kiya tumney bad hua de thi mujhey jo meri beti ko lag gaye?" (Have you put a curse on me that has affected Manal?) Saliha asked in a strange tone.

"Saliha, are you in your right mind? How can you say that?" Rubab maddened.

"The way you are talking made me think that."

"I know my daughter had to go through heartbreak, but that doesn't mean that I am going to give you bad dua."

"Then why are you constantly making me realize that?"

"Forget it," Rubab said. "I didn't call you to talk about this. I just wanted to inform you about Faiza's rishta. I will send you the invitation card in coming days."

"Acha." Saliha looked at the money envelope lying on the bed.

"Okay then Allah hafiz." Rubab hung up in hurry before Saliha got the chance to say Allah hafiz.

************************

Zoha selected few pairs of shalwar kameez from her wardrobe and heaped them on the bed with the other ones. Since college was over, she felt like she was missing something. She had been so used to the textbooks and studying late at nights that she felt like she was too free. There was absolutely nothing to do. No homely chores. No cooking. No nothing. And without having anything to do, she felt so bored.

This afternoon she decided to take out all the old clothes that had been untouched from months and put them out of the wardrobe. The no-longer-used ones were taking up unnecessary space and she wanted to get rid of them. It had been a while since she was thinking about it. Now it was the time that she had to take an action.

Soon she would get married and leave this home. She couldn't live without Shehryaar. She didn't want her life to be like Saliha and Zafar- living ocean apart. She wanted to be with Shehryaar in every moment of their lives. She wanted to support him and be there when he needed her.

She thought if she started sorting things out from now. She wouldn't have to worry about it when the time comes.

It was 3:40 pm. Everyone had already eaten lunch. Zoha fixed the hanging pairs of new shalwar kameez and two three old ones-that she kept because they were her favorite- and closed the wardrobe. Her bed was overtaken by mess. She had done one good thing. Separating the no-longer used clothes. But now she didn't know where to put them. She felt dumb to not think about it before.

Who exactly am I going to give these to? she thought. It was not like she was going to fill up a bag and dump it in the trash can. That would be crazy.

She shoved aside the hangers and sat on the bed. She started forming ideas about what to do with them. It was the first time ever that she had to deal with this situation. Back when she was younger, whenever her clothes didn't fit her, dadi used to give them to Rumina because Rumina knew people in her village to whom she could give these to. Back then, she used to visit her family frequently. She took leave for weeks when there was her daughter's wedding.

Zoha didn't know if she could give these to Rumina again. From seven years she hadn't visited her village. It was as if she stopped missing her family, her relatives or whoever she was close to. She never even mentioned anything about her daughter who got married. Like she lied to them that she had a daughter.

To wrap up this mess, she started folding the shalwar kameez along with their dupattas and heaped them. Then rifled for the stashed away shopping bags in the bottom of the wardrobe that were in good condition and stuffed them in there.

There was only one person to whom she could ask about this. Saliha. She had to had some idea about where Zoha could throw her clothes.

********************

"Who is it?" Saliha asked from inside.

"Zoha, bari ammi." Zoha waited seconds outside Saliha's room until she opened the door.

"You?"

"Bari ammi, were you taking a nap?" Zoha noticed the weary eyelids. "Sorry if I disturbed you."

Saliha rubbed her left eye and covered her yawning mouth. "I just fell asleep. Thakan hori thi." (I was fatigued)

"Oh."

"What happened? Do you want something?" Saliha said in mundane tone.

"I needed to ask you something."

"Come in. We can talk inside."

Zoha stepped into the room and Saliha closed the door with a slight noise of thump that shook the steady silence.

"I was fixing my wardrobe and I got out some clothes that I don't wear anymore. So- I was wondering where should I throw them."

"Is it a bagful?" Saliha assumed.

"Yeah."

"Well I know a good place where you can donate them. Throwing away wouldn't be a good idea."

Zoha realized she didn't mean to say what came out of her mouth. She just needed to get rid of them.

"We can give them in Edhi orphanage. It will come in use of those poor girls your age."

"Didn't we always gave clothes to Rumina? I mean she has a family. There might be someone she can give them to." Zoha crept to uncertainty as she expressed her suggestion.

"I always gave my clothes to Rumina. But lately she stopped taking them. I don't know why," Saliha said.

"She didn't say anything?"

"She just said she had enough clothes she didn't want anymore."

Zoha was expecting to hear more than that, but it seemed like that was the only answer.

"Okay so I will give it to Edhi orphanage then."

"That's the best choice."

"Who will go to give?"

"Shehrhaar. But Sajjid will drive him there because he knows the place."

Zoha nodded in approval.

"Just give me the bag of clothes and I will tell Shehryaar whenever he is free."

"Okay." Zoha turned and started to leave the room.

"Wait, Zoha," Saliha said before Zoha reached for the door knob.

Zoha flipped her attention back to Saliha. "Yes?"

"Umm-are you doing something right now?"

"Umm..no?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay."

"Come." Saliha climbed back on the spot she was sleeping before. "Sit with me." She unfurled the comforter and cleared the space for Zoha to sit.

Zoha was uncertain what Saliha had to talk about. She was curious every second the silence grew.

"Now my sweet is nap is gone. I was just meant to close to my eyes for five minutes." Saliha chuckled as she organized bunch of pillows against the head board. "Since you are here so why not talk about what I wanted to talk about."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Somethings."

"Like?"

"Well let me first think how I should begin telling you this." Saliha gripped few seconds into thinking. Her left leg was reposed straight, while the other one was folded in a half lap.

"So," Saliha prepared after a tiny moment. "I gotta a call..." she balked.

"From who?" Zoha was blank.

Saliha barely made an eye contact for more than five seconds. "Rubab."

"Your sister?"

"Yeah. I reacted the same way. I wasn't expecting her to call me like this."

"You haven't talked to her lately, right?"

"It has been many days since we last talked. For a while I thought we would never talk again after everything."

Zoha noticed the glum in her eyes.

"I was just happy to know that she remembered me. She invited us to Faiza's Nikah."

"Faiza's Nikah? She is getting married?"

"Probably they knew her engagement broke with Shehryaar so they asked her hand again in marriage."

"She is pretty and belongs to a good family. Why wouldn't anyone like her," Zoha said.

"The engagement was last month. And now the Nikah is next month. She will send us the invitation card in coming days."

"Aap jayeingi na?" (Are you going to go?)

"I will... In Shaa Allah."

"Then why do you look sad? Are you not happy?" Zoha studied Saliha's face.

"Mein bus soch rahi thi." (I was just thinking)

"About what? Purani baatein?"

"Do you think Rubab truly invited me? Or she is doing this for formality?"

"Kiya aapki koi aur baat bhi hui thi?" (Did you talk about something else too?)

"How is it possible that we talked about Faiza's Nikah thing and not something else? Everything is connected. Ek baat dosri baat se milhi jati hai." (One topic always ends up touching the other)

Zoha was certain also that Rubab had to bring up Shehryaar and Faiza. It was impossible to talk about something without mentioning that. It was like a knot tied in the string that they always bumped into- inevitable.

"Khair there wasn't much about Shehryaar and Faiza this time. I told her about what happened with Manal."

"What did she say?"

"She reminded me of the same old mistakes," Saliha vexed. "No matter how much I say sorry and tell her how much I know what she has been through. It's as if she doesn't understand me anymore. I am just wasting my time talking about it over and over again." There was a friction in her tone.

"But now there is no point in talking about this. Faiza is getting married." Even Zoha understood that.

"That's what I am trying to explain to her. But it seems like she hasn't forgiven me. It's as if I must pay a bigger price."

"Why is Rubab aunty doing this to you? Isn't she your sister? Doesn't she want to move on and leave the past in the past?" Zoha said politely.

Saliha breathed in displeasure. "I don't know what to do anymore. I am tired of dealing with this over and over."

"Aap sochein mat. Koi fiyda nahi hai." (Don't think about it. There is no point in it). Zoha was feeling bad about all of this. Somewhere in this she felt she was one of the reason why all of this happened; Shehryaar liked her and so he left Faiza. But Zoha wasn't going to bring that up. There was no point of it. She wasn't going to make herself feel any lesser than already what she had demeaned herself to. She was happy with how things had turned. She had admitted that Shehryaar didn't deserve a girl like Faiza.

"When I didn't talk to her in days I was happy. I thought she forgot about everything and had moved on." Saliha sighed in exasperation. "I didn't know that she was waiting for the right excuse to call me and somehow remind me about all of-" Saliha trailed off. She seemed irritated enough.

Zoha was afraid to say something. It was already a sensitive situation.

"Ab toh dil charaha hai kay mein Faiza kay Nikah mein nahi jaun. Patanahi kiya muh degi sab kay saamney," (now I don't even feel like going to Faiza's Nikah. Wonder what attitude she will give me in front of others) Saliha irked. "I was going to tell Shehryaar but now I won't. Khama khua yeh baat uskey dil mein bhet jayegi aur mein apni galtiyoon ki saza usko nahi dey sakhti." (Without any intention this will settle in his heart and I don't want to give him the punishment for what he has not done)

Zoha sat and observed the tone, the expression, the words Saliha spoke with. This time it was all real. She couldn't miss it. It was right there. In her eyes. Saliha had truly realized her mistakes and was guilty about it.

"Bari ammi, whatever happened happened. Aap toh yeh baat samjhati hain na?" (You understand this, right?) Zoha said.

"Beta, baat meri nahi hai. (Sweetheart, it's not about me) I don't know how Rubab will understand this."

"You talked to Rubab aunty right? You told her that you are sorry about what happened? Then why are you feeling guilty?"

"Mein bhula chuki thi. (I already forgot about it) Now even if I want to forget about it. I won't be able to." Saliha's gaze were down-casted.

"Why?"

"Because-Manal."

"Meaning? I don't understand."

"Meri galtiyoon ki saza Manal bhugat rahi hai. (Manal is suffering the punishment that I deserve) Don't you see it?"

Zoha was still for a moment.

"Whatever Manal is going through shows how bad I have been. Me. I am the cause of her pain. The accident. The broken engagement. It's all me. I didn't care about her well."

"Why are you thinking like that, bari ammi?" Zoha said, her brows drawn close.

"Zoha, you don't see it. But I see it. It has always been me. My actions, my words that are damaging me now." Saliha covered her face with her hands and shook her head in humiliation. "I did this. It's me."

Zoha reached forth and touched Saliha's shoulder in sympathy. "Bari ammi, please. I can't see you like this. Don't say these things."