She failed to keep the news to herself, when Shehryaar spotted her sitting on the sofa, muffling her tears. He stopped, highly concerned, and went over to her. She didn't look as he stood by her.

Putting his hand on her mother's shoulder, he said, "mummy?"

Saliha cried louder. She swept the relentless tears from her eyes.

"Mummy, what happened?" Shehryaar asked gravely.

"Go away. I don't want to see your face." Saliha shrugged his hand away.

Shehryaar felt ashamed. Saliha didn't even want to see him. He had drowned her expectations. He stole her happiness, which he could never think of doing. Was he that bad?

"Mummy, please. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you giving me this punishment?"

Saliha removed her hands from her face- her skin was glistening- her bottom eye-lid was red. "Do you know what happened?" she angered.

"What?"

"They broke Manal's engagement too. They called me." She shot a gaze at Shehryaar. "And it's because of you."

"What? Because of me?" Shehryaar didn't know what Saliha was saying. He thought probably she wasn't in the right condition to talk. She saw him as the problem for everything, even if things were far related to him.

"Haan. If you didn't reject this proposal, this wouldn't have happened," Saliha reprimanded. She furiously stared at him.

"How can you say that it's because of me? What is my fault in this?" Shehryaar shot back. It was one thing that Saliha was sad and hurt. But when she accused him of every other thing, he couldn't take it anymore.

"You are forgetting that Rubab was the one who found this proposal for Manal. She informed her friend about her. And since you broke the engagement with Faiza, she got really upset." Saliha wept. She looked away from Shehryaar. "Rukhsana said that no one told her about Manal's accident. We treated them like strangers. She accused us of hiding this incident."

Shehryaar was tired of listening. He realized that was all what he was doing since he came to Pakistan. Saliha spoke and said things to which she expected him to not talk back about.

"I wish I told them about Manal. Then maybe this wouldn't have happened." She regretted.

"I really don't know what to do. One after another things are getting worse and worse. And you know, mummy?" Shehryaar held her attention. "In all of this there is a greater fault of yours. I am sick of blaming myself for this absurdness."

Saliha confoundedly looked at Shehryaar.

"I thought probably I was wrong. So I tried to come back to you and cope with the situation. But I didn't know that it got this far....that Manal is affected too." Shehryaar held his pulsating temples. He tensely breathed out.

Saliha was quiet. She stopped crying.

"Everything is going crazy. If you stop blaming me for once, then maybe you will find the solution to all the problems."

He dashed to his room and slammed the door. His eyes were covered with the haze of chaos. He felt as if he was going blind. He couldn't find peace anywhere. Things just got harder and harder and pressure built inside of him. Nobody understood his perspective. Nobody cared what he went through. All his mother did was blame him. Remind him of the biggest mistake he made. But never asked why he did so like that. Not once she inquired him of his motives, which maddened him even more.

Every time he intended to speak to his mother, there was always a new problem. Like he never got a chance to speak his heart out. To really tell what he wanted and not what Saliha wished for him. He felt suffocated by keeping things hidden. He felt like he wouldn't ever be able to express his wish to his parents, especially Saliha. Zafar was still sympathetic towards him. He comprehended his son better than Saliha.

If Zafar wasn't like Saliha, then why couldn't he talk to him? What was there that stopped him? Nothing. He considered it and there wasn't anything that held him back, except that Saliha would find out soon. But he was exhausted. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to utter those words. Say it for once and all. Feel his wish alive on his tongue. Tell everyone that he loved Zoha. She was ever more close to his heart. Faiza was a third wheel in all of this. She was never meant for him.

He wanted to make his own decisions. He was not a small baby who needed someone to spoon feed him. He knew what he was doing. He was conscious of every step he took. Only times he looked up to his adults was when he needed their advice and hear the wise voice. It didn't mean that they could take over his choices and mold them however they wanted.

One thing he told himself, he was not afraid of anything. He needed to say it to let others hear it, and he would. If Saliha couldn't tolerate to hear him, then he chose Zafar over her. Zafar was a better person. No matter how worse things got, he always listened to his son and valued what he had to say. He was the kind of father that anybody ever wished for.

Shehryaar splashed some cool water on his face and looked through the drops of water, dripping from his forehead to his eyes, into the mirror. I will talk to daddy. He will listen to me. Mummy doesn't even care.

He opened his wardrobe, scanned the line of clothes, and picked out his favorite dark brown colored t-shirt. He took off his t-shirt and slid the new one on. In the dresser mirror, he brushed his hair sideways backwards and sprayed some perfume; it was summer and things stank.

He went down to Manal's room. Luckily he didn't disturb her. She was playing candy crush on her phone.

"How are you doing?" he asked, knowing how bad she felt when nobody asked her.

"Fine." She put the phone aside.

"Did mummy come?"

"Yeah. She is so depressed. I don't like to be sad when I see her." Manal lowered her gaze, as if fell deep in thoughts.

"Don't be sad. There is nothing worth getting yourself upset," Shehryaar said. "Did she tell you?"

"What?" Manal snapped up a glance.

"About your proposal thing?"

"No. What happened?"

"I don't mean to tell you this by the means of getting you upset. But...they broke the engagement."

Manal's eyes grew wide. "What?!"

"Please, Manal. I know this is a terrible news."

"But why? What happened?"

"I don't understand their reasoning either. They said we didn't inform them about your accident. It makes them feel as if they are strangers to us."

"That is nonsense. And why didn't mummy inform them?" Manal was shocked.

Shehryaar was mad at Saliha. "I don't know why. She doesn't understand that hiding this wasn't a good idea. Instead she is blaming me."

"How could she? How is it your fault?"

"Exactly. I don't know what's going on. I thought to tell you so it didn't seem like we hid it from you too."

Manal appeared disturbed and puzzled. She contemplated as the silence grew thick between them.

"I don't want you to be too upset about this. Probably this was bound to happen in some way, if not like this." Shehryaar patted his sister's hand. "Don't loose hope."

"How was it bound to happen?"

"Did mummy force you with this proposal too?"

Manal thought. "But it was my choice. She didn't force me." She sounded little uncertain, looking at Shehryaar like he was playing a trick or something.

"Remember any moment when she mentioned Rubab Khala?"

Manal fell thinking. Gloomy and emptiness deepened in her eyes. Shehryaar gaze at her, waiting for her to click with an answer.

"She told me that it make Khala happy if this bond was tied between us." Manal said it like she had accidentally chewed on a bitter pill. "Yeah I remember that. Mummy said that Khala knew Usman well. He would keep my happy, so I should take time to think. It was as if she was somehow expecting me to say yes."

"I really don't know why mummy did all of this. Why couldn't she let us on our own? If she didn't present the sense of rush and urgency on proposals, then it wouldn't have happened. We wouldn't have gone through this and none of what is happening would have happened."

"I shouldn't be upset about this?" Manal asked.

"There is no point. When things are not meant for you, it's better to forget them and move on in life."

Manal relaxed her back against the pillows, landing her gaze on the tailboard of the bed. Her shoulders slumped, dismissing the worry. Her lips touched each other, sealing the remnant thoughts. Unsettling calmness pressed in her skin and she stayed quiet. Perhaps there was something she wanted to say, but her lips didn't move. She thought and thought and thought.

"Forget it. It's not worth it," Shehryaar said. "It was a temporary bond, like mine and Faiza's."

"Isn't it weird that we began this short journey together and things fell apart on the way?" Manal blew the silence.

"When I think about it sometimes, it does sound little weird. Like opening your eyes from a dream and finding yourself in an altered reality. You don't know what to do. Nothing making sense. It appears strange."

"At least I have realized that on most things you have no control over, like marriage. Probably you're right."

Shehryaar smiled. "Just don't get stressed out because of mummy. It will take her time."

Manal nodded.

"Just take care of yourself. Your health should be the first priority. How are physical therapy sessions coming along?"

"It's slowly getting better. I am trying my best."

"That's good. Keep trying. Don't give up."

Manal reached for the glass of water on the bedside and drank half a glass. Then put it back. "Bhai,do you stay busy these days?"

"Not much. Why?"

"No, actually I sometimes need help with sitting in the wheelchair and there is no one. Can you come...if you are not busy? Otherwise I am okay on my own. I can move the wheel and go anywhere."

"If you ever need help, just give me a call. I will come by."

"Thanks. Seriously I don't like to bother anyone. It's really sweet of Zoha that she sometimes comes by and helps me."

Shehryaar smiled. "That is her."

"You know last time I asked her to call you. She was afraid of what you would say."

Shehryaar laughed. "Really?"

"I know, I was surprised. Do you intimidate her?" Manal laughed.

"Never asked. I hope I don't."

"Probably it was...just." She looked at Shehryaar. "You guys talk so little, that's why she is always little uncomfortable."

"I am still more talkative. But she is the one who shys away."

"She has always been like that. Remember those times when we were younger?"

"Everything."

"She used to sit away from us and did her homework. All the time. And up to this day, she hasn't changed a bit, except she is older now."

"The funny part is she never gets tired. A normal person would be sick of doing the same thing over and over."

"You call her abnormal? I will tell her. And see how she comes after you," Manal joked.

"I would be super surprised if that happens."

********************************************

Zoha stood in front of wardrobe, with tip of her finger in the mouth. She thought what to wear for the university next day. She skimmed through the clothesline, and ended up picking long navy-colored kameez and reddish middle-creased trouser. It was after a long time that she was wearing them.

She plugged in the iron wire and switched the fabric material to cotton. For a while she let it heat up. Then spread the sleeve of kameez on the iron board and began ironing. As she did that, she thought, it had been forever since she did any shopping. Most of her clothes were really old. Who could she possibly ask to go shopping with. Saliha was upset. Manal couldn't go anywhere. Then who was left? Zafar? But who could she go with? Zafar? She imagined how awkward it could be to ask him. No. She wouldn't do that.

I guess I can't go for shopping with anyone. I will have to wait till..I don't when.

After ironing her clothes, she hung them neatly on the hanger and hung it on the wardrobe door. Her college work was less today. The semester was coming to an end. There were two more exams, the finals, and then she was done. She could be free and think about finding a job.

She went to the bathroom, performed ablution and prayed isha. It was nearly ten o' clock. The best time when she was over with the day's work. After praying, she changed into night clothes and dimmed the room light.

Laying on the bed, she closed her eyes. All she saw was blackness. Absolutely blackness. It started to spin her mind. She felt like she was falling. Her eyes abruptly opened. She felt the bed sheet under her hand, and realized she wasn't falling. It was just her mind. She thought, probably she was really tired and sleepy that's why she felt that way.

Pulling the light sheet over her body, she slipped down in bed. The comfort wrapped her in its arms and she gave herself into it. She was exhausted. Her mind couldn't think of anything but sleep. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

The next morning, she grabbed her clothes from the wardrobe, changed, fixed her hair and hurried downstairs. It wasn't late today. She had thirty minutes to eat breakfast and begin heading for university.

In the kitchen, Rumina was making tea and preparing breakfast. Zoha waited by the counter and watched her.

"Zoha, bibi, you woke up early today," Rumina said, smiling. "You look fresh."

"Yeah, I didn't have much work yesterday, so fell asleep early."

"That's good." She poured tea in the thermos, heat assailing her face. Then applied the lid and picked up the heavy thing. "Today Zafar sahab is going to have breakfast with you. He woke up early too."

"Really?"

"He told me to call him when the breakfast is ready."

"What did you cook for him?" Zoha sauntered to the dining room with Rumina. "What does he like to eat?"

"He told me to make scramble egg."

Rumina went back to the kitchen. Zoha pulled out a chair and sat at the table. She looked to see if Zafar was coming. The time was crawling by. She got up and thought to bring her bag from the study room. There was a bulky textbook that she needed to take with her, because Hoorain needed to borrow it. Zoha told her to get one from the library. But she always complained that she couldn't find it. Zoha knew she was just getting lazy.

When she came out of the study room, she saw Shehryaar come home in his sweats and t-shirt. Zoha didn't expect that he was awake. At least this early when she was going to university. She headed to the dining room and found that Rumina had already set breakfast for her. She sat down and started as soon as possible.

Later Zafar showed up at the table. He brightly looked at zoha.

"Good morning, beta. How are you?" he greeted.

"Good morning, baray abu," Zoha said.

"It's always nice to have breakfast early. I just get little lazy when I come to Pakistan."

Zoha smiled.

"By the way, you are not late, right?" He reached for the sugar pot.

"No. I am just gonna leave in ten minutes. Inshallah I will reach on time for my class."

"Did you tell Sajjid that you are ready?"

"I haven't."

"You want me to inform him?"

"No, it's okay. He might ready be already. He knows."

Zafar lightly nodded and commenced his breakfast.

Zoha kept looking at time and ate. When she was done, she took a last sip of tea and picked her textbook, and slung the bag on the shoulder. Taking a bite, Zafar looked up. He wiped his mouth with the napkin.

"You are done? Have you even eaten properly?" he said.

"Jee, baray abu. This is how much I eat. It's enough."

"You barely ate enough."

"This is good for me."

"I have noticed you have grown skinnier. All I see is bones in you. Take care of yourself, beta. There is nothing more important than your health."

Zoha stood and listened. "Jee, baray abu. I do take care of myself."

As she was leaving in rush, she nearly bumped into Shehryaar who was heading to the dining room. He was wearing different clothes than he was wearing before, his hair were brushed. Zoha looked at him, bearing the weight of textbook on her arm. He looked back at her.

"How are you?" he asked, without taking his eyes off her.

"I am okay," Zoha said. "We live in the same house. Why are you looking at me like you have never seen me before?"

"You will forbid me from seeing you now?"

"Just don't look at me like that for so long."

"You want me to drop you?"

"I can go with Sajjid."

"Just today."

"Why?"

"So you don't want me to." He dropped his gaze.

"I meant that I told baray abu. I am going with Sajjid."

"So what will happen if you did? Come, I will drop you. It's not a big deal." He grabbed her bony hand and took her to the driveway.

Zoha slipped her hand from his grip. He fumbled keys out of his sweats pocket and unlocked the door. Zoha sat in the backseat. Shehryaar gave a look in the rearview mirror. Zoha ignored it.

"Why do you ignore me?" he said, jabbing the key in the ignition. Then cranked up the car and drove out of the way. Sajjid was standing at the gate, with a look. Shehryaar said that he would drop Zoha this morning.

"When?" Zoha said.

Shehryaar shot glances in the mirror to see her in the back, looking out the window.

"Whenever I try to talk to you, you show no interest. What can I call that?"

Zoha didn't say anything in return. She rolled down the window pane to get some fresh air.

"Why did you get quiet? You are making me assume that I am right."

"It's your misunderstanding."

"That could happen one time, but not every time."

"Why are you inquiring me?"

"I am not, Zoha," Shehryaar said. "That makes me think that you don't like me. Or don't care about my love."

Silence built pressure in Zoha's chest. She wished she could say that she had the same feelings for him too. But it seemed impossible to say it. It was easy for him as a boy. But not for her. She didn't know what was going to happen afterwards. He said, he would tell his mother, but he couldn't.

"Don't think like that. I probably do talk less, but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings or emotions," Zoha said.

Shehryaar looked straight ahead, and didn't say much after that.

"I don't ignore you. Never do," she added. "I just wanted to hear that from you."

"You trust me, don't you?"

"I can prove it without saying it."

"Don't doubt me," Zoha said. "Just like I don't doubt your love."

Shehryaar got lost looking at her. He slowed down the car speed.

"Please, don't look at me. Look on the road and drive carefully." Zoha checked the wrist watch. "There is only five minutes left."

Shehryaar shook his attention and picked back the speed. Zoha jerked forward.

She looked at Shehryaar and thought, if it was that easy to say you loved someone. I might have said it long time ago.

*********************************************************