Now it seemed that Zoha was going to live in this house forever. The house she left was no longer hers. She had cried enough. The stain of pain was visible on her grief-stricken face. She didn't know how Yumna khala would react seeing Zoha at the door in the night. It must be very unusual for her to find Zoha that way-sad and troubled, with silence woven in her eyes.

She clambered out of the car, her feet smashed the wet dirt on the potholed pavement. There were tufts of dry grass, untended, sprouting from the crevice in the earth. She stood still, hung in the relative thought. Her energy was drained out from sobbing and she felt weary and flaccid. Her muscles were burden on her bones.

"Beti," a sad voice called her.

Zoha turned and looked at the open trunk.

"Take this." Sajjid handed the luggage to her. "Carefully take a step."

The alley was blotched with inky night since it was out of electricity. Still, there were some homes around that had light because they owned generator to bring back the power during the power outage. Looking at Yumna's home, it seemed that she did not own one: inside it was all dark and quiet.

She pulled the luggage to herself and covered her head with dupatta. Then closed the car door.

"There is no light to ring bell," Sajjid said. "You have to knock at the door."

Zoha did as he suggested. She knocked. The noise of it was alone in the silence. She stood and waited for someone to come at the gate.

Nobody showed up for first few seconds. She swept at her damp eyes and wiped it off her kameez. In the back, Sajjid settled in his driver's seat.

When the gate opened, Yumna squinted to look at Zoha in the lightless view. Zoha could see her: the dupatta shrouding her torso and her head, tasbeeh gripped in her fingers. She looked calm and unworried.

"Who is this?" Yumna asked politely, trying to make out a face of the figure standing.

"Ammi, why did you open the gate?" A voice scolded from inside and Shaheen joined Yumna behind her. "It could be a thief."

"Khala, it's Zoha."

"Zoha?" Yumna sounded ambiguous. "Beta? How did you come here? At night?" She was startled to discover.

"I didn't mean to disturb you like this, khala. Can I come in?"

"Come inside. It's not safe to stay at the gate." Yumna was anxious.

Zoha went in, toting the luggage with her. She did not even turn to look in the back for Sajjid because it wasn't worth it. She knew he was downhearted on her leaving. The gate closed behind her with the noise of applying latch.

"Beta, what made you come here in the night and not in the day?" Yumna fretted. "Is everything okay?"

Zoha could feel the tears rising in her eyes. Her arms were imperceptibly shaking, sending chills down her body. Before she reached the living room, she threw arms around Yumna, laid her head on her shoulder and bursted crying. Yumna, in return, was shocked. Her eyes were opened prodigiously.

"Beta, what happened? Why are you crying? Say something."

"Khala, they kicked me out of the house." Zoha cried. "Nobody needs me."

"Who kicked you out of the house, mera bacha?" Yumna patted the back of Zoha's head.

"Nobody needs me." Zoha sobbed.

"But who did this to you?" Concern was at its peak. She brought Zoha inside the living room and sat her on the sofa to provide comfort.

"Manal and Faiza hate me. They hurt me so much today that I don't ever want to go back there. I want to stay here with you."

Yumna kissed her head and fondled her back. "Shaheen, bring water for Zoha. Look how much she is crying."

Shaheen hustled to the kitchen and brought a glass of water. The living room was illuminated by the gas lantern fixed high in the wall. The air was layered with summer heat. Sweat beads were glistening the foreheads and the necks. There was barely any cross ventilation.

Zoha felt suffocated due to the lack of wind. She wasn't accustomed to living without electricity. She took the glass from Shaheen's hand, jolting and sniffling.

"Beta, why did they do this to you?" Yumna reminded Zoha of dadi when she used to absorb all of Zoha's worries and consolidated her.

"They blamed me-" Zoha balked to continue. She knew if she told what exactly Faiza suspected her of doing, then it would never leave her mind.

"What did they blame you for?" Yumna's hand was resting on Zoha's knee. Shaheen stood watching, her expression appeared fierce in the orange glow of lantern.

"I just don't want to go back in that house anymore." She cut the uncompleted talk and began pleading. "Promise me that you won't force me to go back in that house back again? Even if somebody comes to pick me up, I will not go. Promise me?" Tears kept leaking down her cheeks.

"That house is yours as much as it is theirs. They have no right to kick you out." Yumna angered. "Does Saliha have that kind of behavior with you too?"

"Bari ammi never said anything to me. But from her face it seems she doesn't like me anymore. Manal made her like herself and now everyone is against me."

"What problem could they have to let you stay in the house?"

"I tried to be polite with everyone. Always made sure that I wasn't hurting anyone. But today Manal and Faiza hurt me so much. They accused me of things that I could never do. Do you think I would have an affair with Shehryaar?" She finally revealed it but then regretted bringing the idea on her tongue. She was afraid of seen as a wrong person. She wanted to erase this blame on her. It was making her life ever harder to live.

"No, bacha. I know you are not like that." Yumna put Zoha's head against her chest. "You can never do that. Those girls are shameless. They are out of their mind."

"I tried to tell them it was a misunderstanding. It's not like that. But they were not believing me." Zoha cried.

"Why would they believe you? They are the ones who laid this trap to kick you out of the house. They are well-aware you are alone and no one is on your side."

Shaheen came and sat next to Zoha. She was surprised and serious.

"You made a perfect choice to come here," Yumna said. "You don't deserve to live with those people. From now on you are going to live here and that's it. I am not going to let you go back there. Don't worry."

"Zoha, we are here for you. Ammi is right," Shaheen said. "Now you are here and you will live with us." She gave Zoha a genuine sweet smile.

Zoha wiped at her tears. "Khala, you are so generous. I am in debt of everything you did for me."

"When you call me Khala then you shouldn't use the word debt. It sounds awful. It makes me feel like I am doing this because I want something from you."

"I wish I was capable of giving you something. You don't know how much you mean to me. It's like Allah gave me a mother in a form of you."

Yumna swept tears off of Zoha's eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Stop crying."

Zoha sniffled her nose and coughed. Her cheeks felt puffy and numb. She was weary, wishing to lay her head on soft pillow. She yearned a nightlong rest in order to feel better and forget this as her worst nightmare. Pretend it never existed.

"Get up and use the bathroom. Splash some water on the face," Yumna said. "Shaheen will take you to Fariqa's room."

Shaheen stood up and kindly escorted Zoha to the room. The luggage was by the sofa; she didn't drag it with her.

"Fariqa fell asleep earlier today," Shaheen whispered, as she opened the door. It was extremely dark inside. Nothing was visible, even the bed four feet away. Zoha was afraid to move around. "She was really tired."

"When is light going to come back?" Zoha swallowed a lump in her throat. "How long has it been?"

"It will be back in fifteen minutes. It's been forty five minutes," Shaheen contended.

Zoha felt the furniture around her. On the right was the dressing. She slowly motioned taking it as a support. Then reached the bed. This one was Fariqa's. A light snore murmured from her direction. The curtains were mostly drawn over, blocking the fresh air. Zoha was beginning to drip sweat. Hotness was shrouding like her clothes. She dabbed at her cheeks, which were burning, part from the tears and part from forming precipitation.

"Do you need help?" Shaheen asked, generously.

"There is no light in the bathroom. Can you bring something? Like candle? Or flashlight?" They talked in low volume.

"I will bring it." She abandoned Zoha. When she speared back in the room, the dancing fire on the wax candle was glowing her face visible. "I will put it for you." She went past Zoha to the bathroom.

Zoha washed her face, water trickling down her skin, while the candle brightened up the wash basin and the mirror on the wall. It looked spooky. She dreaded darkness. The tiled floor underneath her feet felt calloused and dry. She turned off the tap and the noise of running water immediately ceased.

Until there was no electricity she chose to sit with her Khala. She needed someone to stable her condition, make her feel like she wasn't alone. Give her warmth and make her realize she had someone who truly cared about her. She embraced Yumna's side and rested her head on her shoulder. Her eyes were fixed in some trance, the hurtful scene playing in her mind. She got lost in it. It was clung to her memory. She tried to forget it but Faiza's face was keep coming to her mind- mocking and contemptuous, pointing finger at her.

No. She breathed harder. She did not want to experience that moment again. She wanted to get rid of it.

She rose her head from Yumna's shoulder and looked around disturbingly.

"Don't think about it," Yumna said. "Forget them."

Zoha set her innocent pair of eyes on Yumna. "I can't think away from it."

"Pain is remembered the most. It hasn't been that long that you can forget it easily. But it's worth a try."

"Khala?" Zoha asked like Yumna was faraway.

"I am listening."

"Why did this happened to me?" she said, dryly, thoughts wandering of in search of an answer. "I mean why me?"

Shaheen was sitting on the single sofa, legs up and folded, listening.

"When people like these exist, the poor innocent gets pummeled and oppressed. They are shameless and unafraid of what can happen to them when they hurt others."

"I can't believe..... that....that..," Zoha looked at Yumna. "Faiza cloud accuse me of an affair? The arrow shot my heart." She quivered.

"Mera bacha, don't cry," Yumna begged. "Forget that incident. If you keep thinking about it, it's going to sadden you more and more. Look. This world can be a wild place to live. But strong one takes risk and fights the challenges. At last we all are fighting. I want you to be strong too."

"It's hard."

"When you make up your mind then you will feel the difference."

"Khala, you are not making me go back to that house, are you?"

"Nahi, beta."

"Then I don't want to think about them. I can't promise but I will try to forget it. You will support me right?"

"Not only me. We all are here for you."

"I wish I was raised here instead of in that house. You are really generous. Dadi used to never let me be sad. Every time I look at you, you remind me of her. I wish she never left me." Zoha slowly calmed down.

"May Allah grant her jannat. You are lucky that someone as her the most gracious raised you. You truly are special. " Yumna tousled Zoha's hair, providing her support and tenderness in every way possible for her.

Zoha had stopped crying. She couldn't flow no more tears. Her eyes were burning. She woke up from the sofa and motioned towards her luggage. She laid it down on the floor and began unzipping it. Suddenly in a blink the light came back. The living room flashed white.

"Shaheen, turn off the tube light and turn on the dim bulb," Yumna ordered.

Zoha relaxed in the soothing soft light. She opened the luggage and rummaged through her clothes. She looked for the journal that belonged to her mother. She had been reading it lately every night. It was the most valuable possession of Aaliyah that Zoha embraced it to her heart. Her mother was no longer here to stop her from invading her privacy. She wrote her most closed thoughts and feelings in the journal that she could have never predicted that her daughter would read it. Then when she died, her past was preserved forever in that book, giving it a reason to exist. Zoha promised she would keep it safe and out of reach from other people.

She couldn't find the journal in the luggage. She could not feel the solid cover anywhere. Worry broke in her. She thought she packed all her important belongings in it, then how could she possibly forget to bring it with her. She froze amid in her search and managed to recollect it. She realized she forgot to put it in the luggage. It slipped out of her mind.

Now what? She could never go back to that house to get back the journal. She did not want to confront monstrous Manal and ruthless Faiza, the shameless girls that Yumna called them. Maybe, she had to live without it. Maybe she wasn't meant to continue reading the entire story.

"Zoha, you can go to the room," Yumna said. "It's ten-thirty. You have to go to the college.

"Jee," Zoha said. "Khala?"

"Haan?" Yumna stopped as she was going to her room.

"Can I spend sometime with you?"

"Right now?"

Zoha nodded.

"Beta, you are tired. It's better to sleep. We can talk in the morning," she insisted.

Yumna walked over to her. "Dekho, beta. You are not alone. Whenever you want something I am here for you." She paused. "Since you are insisting me I will stay."

Zoha changed into her nightie and joined Yumna on the sofa. Shaheen said shabakher, goodnight, after turning off the kitchen light. She appeared exhausted due to copious responsibilities as an oldest child. Yumna fetched her prayer beads, yellow-colored from the shelf and commenced dropping each bead, reciting dur-e-shareef. For a moment she corresponded dadi who always devoted her time praying and reading tasbeeh. Zoha felt a lot comfortable in the arms of her Khala.

"Khala, you are so nice."

"That I am," Yumna bantered. Then chuckled.

"I like spending time with you. You sound so much like dadi."

"At last I am getting old too." She stopped often in the middle of reading tasbeeh. Then as she was not speaking, her fingers began dropping beads.

It was mostly dark even in the dim light.

"Can you tell me stories about mummy? My mummy?" Zoha relied on Yumna's account instead of the journal. She was more than ever interested in knowing about her passed away mother.

"Really? You want to?" There was a jerk of surprise.

"Yes. Don't I keep a right to know about her?"

"Of course you do. But what do you want to know? There are so many things. Some I know very well while others not as much I guess."

Zoha thought for a second. She tried to remember where she left off in the journal. "How did mummy get married to daddy?"

Her question was silence worthy.

"Marriage?" Yumna sounded hesitated.

"Dadi told me they had a love marriage. But how did it happen?" Zoha got careless to notice the frown on Yumna's face.

"That story is an unforgettable story," Yumna said. "Your mummy's marriage was very different than mine."

"Why? What made it so different?" Curiosity overlapped trepidation.

"She had a love marriage. That was what made it so different than mine. Your Nani and Nana were not happy about it. They said your mummy fell in the wrong trap of love and keeping relationship before marriage which was against our culture a little. The world was way different before. And what your mummy asked for was unbelievable."

"It's bad to love someone before you marry?" Zoha asked.

"It was bad enough to interact with a boy. Our family culture didn't permit it to happen."

Yumna finished reading one-hundred bead long tasbeeh and hung it on the arm of the sofa. She took a sigh and muttered something on her lips which Zoha could barely make out. Surely it was some Quranic phrase.

"We tried to convince her that it was not right to do such thing. Love. Affair. Was awful. It could destroy her. I was a good obedient child to my parents. They always told Aaliyah how good I was and what bad path she was choosing."

"Where did she find daddy?"

"In college."

"Why didn't you guys like daddy? Did he have a bad character?"

"It wasn't about his character. He was a good boy. But your Nana disliked the idea of love before marriage. It was shameful to do such thing."

Zoha relaxed on the sofa, sliding down and putting her head on Yumna's thighs. She was beginning to feel sleepy. Her eyelids were heavy.

"Then one day your dadi came to our house with your daddy's proposal for your mummy. We were surprised that this would go this far. Your Nana was furious at their arrival but he didn't say anything. We found out that Rehman belonged to a wealthy family. He came in an expensive car with his mother. As your Nana learned about his background, he slowly began to change his mind. He reconsidered the proposal with your Nani after they left."

Zoha cleared her throat, and said, "what did he think about daddy?"

"One time I overheard their conversation when I was passing by their room. I heard they were talking about Rehman. I remember the calmness in their voice. There was a guilt that tortured their words. I wondered whether they were going to yes or no. But, unluckily, they didn't mention that. Then after few days, Nana called your dadi and said yes. I was shocked. I thought he was going to say no. The date was fixed for the engagement. I sometimes think, your Nana agreed on the proposal because Rehman was a rich boy. He would have kept Aaliyah happy and provide her everything she wished."

Zoha was reminded of Manal's engagement. It kind of sounded like it. Was her mother disobedient to her own parents? Because she somewhat went against her morals and ethics. Should she be proud of being a daughter of that type of mother who did a love marriage? It was considered bad from some aspects. But, if Zoha saw through the point of view of her mother, so it wasn't as horrible; she married the person she loved.

Yumna got quiet. She was transcended away in a thought. Zoha watched her gazing at the table- absentmindedly.

"How was everything after they got married?" Zoha asked.

"Things were okay."

How were they okay? What happened? Zoha wondered. "What do you mean?"

"Your dadi: generous and loving, accepted Aaliyah with whole-heart. But her daughter-in-law. Saliha. She had issues with Aaliyah."

Zoha got conscious at the mention of Saliha. Her eyes went big with concentration.

"Bari ammi?" She spoke in surprise. "What did she do?"

"Aaliyah used to call me because we were close to each other as sisters always are. Her sad voice shook me. I expected her to be really happy in her married life."

"What happened?"