. A web of confusion slitted apart and she looked around. The room was mostly dark, except there was a small light of the bedside lamp. The shadow of the rocking chair, oscillating on its cradle was large enough to cover the ceiling. It all seemed dead and somber. Everything was in its place, present, but someone was still missing, who was unique with its own essence and presence. She couldn't find her dadi anywhere. It was all empty and hollow. Only shadows leaked down the walls and sound of cricket chirped in the utter silence.

She bolted up on bed. There was no one around her. They all had left her alone. Rubab went back home with Faiza and Umair. And Saliha was in her room, while Manal relaxed from a long, sad day. They already ate dinner at nine, later than usual. Nobody was much happy even though Shehryaar was home. It was as if he was always home.

Zoha climbed out of bed to go to the bathroom. But as her feet hit the cold tiles, she winced. Like the floor didn't favor her out of bed. Impulsively, she threw a glance behind her to complain to dadi how cold everything had turned. But she was not there. The bed sheet blankly stared back at her. Zoha realized how distant and far things felt. Like they turned their face on her after dadi left.

Tears trailed down her cheeks. She wiped at her tear ducts to resist herself from crying. But grief was too overwhelming to keep it inside. And she started sobbing.

"Dadi, where are you? Where did you go? Look how lonely I am without you. I have no one with me."

She covered her face with her hands.

"I want you back. I want to live with you once again. Live the happy moments of childhood. I want to play with you, eat with you, listen to the stories, laugh and sleep. It can't end like this. Can't."

Her headached badly. And nose was glowing red. She trembled as her heart beat quickened.

"How will I live? Nothing is good. Nothing is good. I hate this loneliness," she cried.

The sudden gust of wind from the window made her heart skip a beat. She began to bulge with nervousness, doubting the place she always slept. It gave her an odd feeling. She resigned the thought of using the bathroom and slipped out of the room, wrapped in horror. Outside in the corridor, there was no one. Quiet as ordinary.

She knew Saliha was in the room, but was probably sleeping. When she went downstairs, she saw the living room, the spot where dadi's funeral was. It made her cry even more. Holding the banister, she sat at the bottom of the stairs and kept staring wistfully. She remembered when three nights ago, she and dadi were in bed and dadi was complaining about the pain in muscles. She said that she wouldn't be alive for long. There aren't many days left in the world. If I knew that you were going faraway from me, I would have never let you go. I would have begged Allah to give my dadi few more years to live. But it would have never happened. I loved you so much that I was never ready. Zoha thought.

She leaned her head against the railing and nearly fell asleep, thinking about her past.

The door closed upstairs. And feet padded towards the stairs. Then stopped amid. Zoha's eyes were at the edge of closing, tears stained dry on the cheeks.

The feet began walking again. They climbed down the stairs.

Zoha sniffled her nose and tucked her hair lock behind her ear. She stayed sitting, resting on the side, holding on to the banister.

Then a sound of clearing throat made her alert. She didn't look immediately. But wiped her eyes. When she looked around, she saw Shehryaar in his flannel pajama and half sleeves t-shirt. His hair were slightly messier from sleeping, while it was dark to see the expression on his face.

"Are you okay?" he asked politely.

Zoha withdrew her glance and looked opposite of him. She mopped the wet chin where the water from her eyes had trailed.

"Are you okay?" he asked again when Zoha didn't think to answer.

Zoha nodded, still facing opposite.

"I-I am okay."

"I am guessing you are not telling the truth. If you were okay you wouldn't be sitting here." Shehryaar advanced down a step.

"I am missing my dadi. The room feels so empty without her."

"For me the whole house seems empty. It looks so different than the last time."

"Dadi was my everything. How could you have buried her like that? Wasn't she your dadi?"

Shehryaar comprehended Zoha's condition. He leaned against the wall, folding his arms across his lower chest.

"I'm really sorry."

Zoha imagined the lifeless body when she was trying to wake her up. Thinking that, she put her face down on her knees.

"You have accepted the truth and it's the best thing to do. At last everyone has to go one day. Me. You. Our dadi had lived a long life. Eighty-nine. Mummy told me. I loved her too."

"I wish she had lived even longer." Her voice was muffled.

"I wish wishes always came true." Shehryaar headed down the stairs.

Zoha looked up as he passed by. She fixed her dupatta on her chest and got up, all tired and weak. At some point when she moved around she felt her head groggy and hobbled on her feet, then regained strength by holding on to something before she collapsed on the floor. She went to the kitchen, grabbed a glass and filled it with tap water. Then mixed it with the fridge water. As she drank, Shehryaar stood by the counter.

"Mummy was waiting for you to wake up and have dinner. She made korma. You want to try it?"

Zoha felt nervous. She thought, he usually talked a lot or maybe he was in a mood.

After putting the glass away, she said, "I am not hungry."

"Are you sure?"

When Zoha eyed up at Shehryaar she noticed him looking back at her, with focused attention like he wouldn't look away until he got his answer. "Can I stay alone? I am not feeling well. I will eat the breakfast tomorrow," she said in genuine politeness.

"Okay." He went to the fridge and hunted inside for something to eat. "Then we will see each other tomorrow. Goodnight."

Zoha didn't reply. She directly went upstairs and closed the door in light slam.

In the room, she drew the curtains over, fixed the sheets and dimmed the lamp. She didn't want to sleep in the dark especially when she was alone. She pulled the comforter over and huddled tight inside, peering around.

"Dadi." She softly muttered to comfort herself with the thought of having her by her side, though she was not. "I miss you so much. Everything is useless. Nothing has life. Your chadar is like your soul. The smell is so strong that it enlivens through my body. Every bit of our memory is alive. Can't forget you. Never, never, never." Tears filled her eyes again. It was irresistible. It would not quench her sorrow even if she cried all her life. She could never forget those moments they had spent together. It was all rooted deep in her mind.

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Allah- Arabic word for God. Muslims only like to call it by that.

I am not going repeat the terms that are already described in earlier chapters. Hopefully you know them after reading.