Day 22

In the resting room-

The number of trials keeps increasing, and if there is no change it won't be interesting, I think being in the dungeon for many days made my mind divert its whole attention to the trial. I do wonder if there is no distraction would a person do more productive activities without going insane, Like forcing a student in captivity, till he or she completes a subject. it is hilarious to think right, but there is a hint of possibility in it, but I guess society is modeled in such a way that students are naturally produced and those who don’t study are naturally doing it knowing its full consequences, but if distraction or better to say temptations are the natural cause of decrease in productivity; would complete removal of it would be better or doing it in moderation would be the right answer?

What do you think of Mirage?

‘Why do you think such absurd questions are related in any way to you?’

‘a bit, and there is nothing better to think of’

‘temptation in your definition could only be some form of entertainments for others, it is not a necessity that if you are a ‘thing’ addict others would be the same too, and society naturally bans which is harmful for the general population, if it causes lose for it too’

‘And if you imagine others to spoon feed you, what is there in your life then?’

‘i just want the difficulty to be lowered, that’s all.’

‘and the term difficulty in your definition would be just a childs play for the majority, do you still want to lower the difficulty?’

‘hm…but’

‘just because you are lazy doesn’t mean that the whole world have to be lazy, it is better to wake up and understand that the world doesn’t revolves around you, and even if you wish to it's not possible’

‘why is that so’

‘cause everyone is there own protagonist’

‘and if you want others to follow you it is necessary to please them or have a pleasurable quality in you that attracts them, and if you want to be a lone wolf you could take that path, and in this world if you are devoted to the path of practitioner, you might be a true wolf’

‘true wolf…’

‘no matter how you try to be a loner, you have to depend on the society, that is the law, and no matter what actions you take you cant be a complete loner, you will only become a pseudo-loner; it is better you be an active communication than a pseudo-loner’

‘Why are you telling me that’

‘common, don’t stare at me’

‘no matter the angle I see, you are trying to walk the path of a loner, it is better you turn the path right away’

‘no way me?, What are you talking about, I am the most communicable of the all’

‘haha, if you are the most communicable, then sun will come down the earth’

‘hmmm, I will think about it’

‘I believe that the the path of loner is good for me now, it’s the fastest, I could only focus on myself and grow in most areas’

‘if only the most areas included ‘networking’ in it’

‘If I divert my attention right now, others will be a baggage for me, don’t contradict yourself now mirage’

‘Life is a contradiction itself,Blade, there is nothing wrong in contradicting myself but whether you get my point is what matters’

‘Aish, its nothing’

In the trial room-

Standing in the ash colored platform, I slowly sensed my eyes light turning off, I mean to say I can't see, haha, well the prior trial was speed of the mud mall increasing 3x times, I failed a time, with heavy visualization for two days straight I passed the trial in the second chance. It is fortunate that I passed, even though my vision is out, I only feel a heavy nervousness, now my life is seriously in danger I have always relied on my eyes, normally everybody does the problem is I relied heavily, a second ago I coordinated my eyes and body reactivity, and now this dungeon is forcing me to only rely on other sensory organs.

It really leaves a bad taste in my mouth when something which I have heavily relied upon becomes obsolete, it is as all my education is a waste, the same value as a shit, or it could be compared to cutting off the only skill an individual know of, like he or she is working on it for 20 years and one day boom! it's all a waste, or an athlete training his body for 5 years and then he is declared a waste , without being able to showcase his or her ability.

Now, the ancient saying every situation has two sides, if one loses something, one gains another ability to cope with it, and it is the user's responsibility to find out his new talent. It is easy to say and how many could come out of the depression of wasted years, how many have the guts to say “i can come out”, I don’t know, but for me right now, I have no choice, an apt three words “i have no choice”, I am starting to like these words, “i have no choice, hence I shall do it”.

I do wonder if an individual needs development, should there be instances of “i have no choice”, or would an individual develop all by himself with his own will. I do understand that “ i have no choice” scenarios seriously pushes the growth of an individual. What I would like to focus upon is the spontaneous growth and the consistent growth, who would win if there is a wrestling match between them.

My rational mind is leaning forward to the spontaneous growth, cause I think, there is were much will is developed even though much of side effect is also there, and if I have to choose between spontaneous growth and consistent growth, I would choose the consistent growth, since it is less risky, less stressful and habit building growth package; but here I am naturally forced into the situation of spontaneous growth.

I do want to say that when man is pushed to the limit he will unleash hidden potential. Damn, but how much should I release here, should I have to squeeze even my skinny body here, even if I have enough food and water to drink now, it doesn’t mean I have to push into overexhaustion right?

Aish, but I like it.

The feeling of spontaneous growth, like I could see my level up bar filling up, fills my body with pleasure, that even if I go to a massage parlor, couldn’t be compared.

Now the only problem is How to get out of this situation, and well, My mind has the answer already.

And that is…visualization.