I killed myself, was fucking revived by Satan, got a book that summons demons, killed some psychos and the murderers of my wife, faced an archangel, fucked Azazel – best part so far- met two girls I wish I could fuck and a creepy nudist, discovered the real shit that is going on behind the scenes of this rotten world, went to another universe, killed a lizard-man, got back to hell for a power-up, killed a fucking cyborg in a facility in the bottom of the ocean, and here I’m sitting on the beach sand staring at that arrogant bastard. What a fucking week!

“What do you want?”

“I want the world! You know, when I possessed a guy a long time ago, that bastard you just killed punished me. I just wanted to have some fun, you know. He fragmented my soul and made me a prisoner of suicidal pigs.”

The bastard is smiling at me. What a punchable face this fucker has!

“I don’t give a shit about your fucking past! Spit it or beat it!”

“You’re very rude, my friend. Anyway, I was wandering the world trying to gather the fragments of my soul. When I finally gathered them, I wanted revenge against that bastard. I tempted him in the desert, but he was tough!!”

This son of a bitch won’t stop talking. Fuck!

“I was not pleased with that! So, I decided to start my journey of fulfillment. I possessed humans for a long time, but they became insane, for their free wills were distorted!”

I miss suicide now. Dead people can’t listen to bullshit. Not on earth, at least.

“I changed my game and decided to make some pacts with humans, instead of possessing them against their will. It was a huge hit! They sign the contract, I give them what they wish and in exchange for that, I can use their bodies at my will. I fixed your apartment and gave you loads of expensive stuff. Oh, and I also gave my personal touch to your place. This is your simple reward for having avenged me!”

“What!? What did you do to the clothes of my wife, you son of a bitch!?”

“Chill, Nemesis. I know about your story and didn’t touch a finger on the guest room. Her things are there untouched, but I gave you some new clothes. You’re dressed in rags, man! Looks matter, pal!”

“Can you tell me what do you fucking want?”

“Okay, calm down. You are nervous and I didn’t come here to fight. Like I told you before, I want the world! I don’t want this world to end, or the spawn of Samael to rule this world. They are boring cold bastards! There is no fun at all to possess them when I could possess them.”

The book of demon is floating now and I analyzed his powers. It will kill the boredom of this fucking conversation. He is very weak, but he is not so many.

NAME: LEGION- FRAGMENT 1 OF 50

TYPE: SPIRIT DEMON

CLASS: PUPPETEER OF SOULS

POWERS: POSSESSION, MULTI CONSCIOUSNESS

WEAPON: NONE

ARMOR: HUMAN OR ORGANIC BODIES

WEAKNESS: ENERGY DRAIN, HOLY ENERGY, DARK FLAMES,

STRENGTH: 1/100

SPEED: 1/100

DEFENSE: 1/100

ENERGY POWER: 1/100

ENDURANCE: 1/100

SUGGESTIONS OF ALLY: BAAL ( SOUL MANIPULATION), LERAJE (RANGED MULTIPLE ATTACKS), LEVIATHAN ( DARK FLAMES) BELIAL (ENERGY DRAIN)

“You are analyzing my powers, aren’t you? Hey, book! Long time no see!”

“Hello, Legion. Still messing with human business?”

“Yes, and I sense I have to get straight to the point now! Your friend is very impatient!”

“He is an asshole!”

Fuck this book and this demon!!

“Shut your ass, you piece of paper!” I’m pissed now!

“Hahahaha! I just can tell you that he is very angry! I also can tell that if Lucipher regains his full powers, he will destroy this world. He is a party pooper!”

“I just want to —

Why am I doing this? I can’t trust anyone now. There was so much divergent info about the obscure plans for this world, Michael’s offer, Lucipher’s words. I feel I can trust Rachel and Agatha, however, I have a bad feeling about the Eve faction.

“I know a very good life coach. You look very lost my friend!”

“Fuck you and your coach!”

“ Okay, okay be angry, that might help you. Well, I’ve warned you of the big boss, but you might know that already. I’m giving you all the locations of the bosses of the Samael faction. I bought a new phone for you and all the info you need is in it. I’m the CEO of this company. Here it is.”

This shit is made of fucking gold.

“One more thing! There are only three demons that are walking upon the face of this world and are banished from Hell. I, the Great Legion! Samael, the boss of his faction, and Lilith. Leelee is missing, some marriage issues with Sammy, I guess! Get rid of them for me, and I will give you the Keys of Heaven. So, you can meet your wife, or destroy Michael. Specially destroy Michael. This item will grant you holy powers too. I can’t touch it, but I keep it very hidden and safe. I’m on my way now; my helicopter is waiting for me. It wasn’t a good talk. You need to relax, dude. Life is short for you humans!”

Keys of heaven, huh? The bastard is leaving and I look at the phone. All info I need is really there. I wish I could sleep now, but rage is consuming me. I think I will catch the smaller fishes first.