SEBIAN

She sat across me at the dining table but I did not dare to look at her. I can feel the anger emanating from her, she was very angry. I don’t blame her though, the things I did are not worth any kind of sympathy. I just want to tell her that I am sorry about all she has to go through because of me. I don’t know what she has heard and thinks about me but that’s not all true. I want her as a friend, always have wanted but now I don’t know if she will even talk to me. I kept my head down and ate the dinner fully aware of her eyes glaring at me.

“So, you are friend of Aly, really?” Alin’s mother spoke breaking the silence to which I was very thankful because this dinner was getting very awkward for me. “Yes ma’am, we’re in the same class.” I looked at Alin, she was just looking at me with blank eyes. I’ve never seen her like this. She was shy and reluctant but never like this. Her green eyes always showed happiness, dreams, satisfaction, none of which can be seen right now and I was the reason for this.

“How did you both became friends?” I turned my head and looked at Alin’s mother. “I mean, Aly is not very talkative and is very shy. I am pretty sure she is not the one who came who came to you first and started talking. So, did you speak with her first?” I was about to answer but Alin interrupted, “Mom, why are you asking him that? I am sure he doesn’t want to answer all your questions. We are not really friends and our meeting was just coincidental.” “We got teamed up for a science project.” I smiled and told her mother. “Which was a disaster,” Alin spoke again. “Why? What happened?” Alin’s mother asked. Alin looked at me, anger and betrayal flashing in her eyes. Along with Alin her mother, father and brother stopped eating dinner and looked at me with questioning eyes.

How do I tell them? I know what I thought of doing with her was unforgivable but whatever happened is not what she is thinking. “Tell them Sebian, what happened?” Alin’s voice stopped the train of my thoughts. “I- I couldn’t go to the college on the day of submission and hence couldn’t submit my part of the project.” “And ruined my part too. The project was a team effort; I was not going to be evaluated individually. Now that half of the thing was missing, none of us is going to get marks.” She spoke in a loud voice, loud enough that it poked deep inside my heart. It was not her words that hurt me but her voice. She sounded almost chocked up. I looked at her and felt the moisture in my own eyes. “You can drop the act Sebian, I have already heard everything from Natalie. Did you have fun doing it? ruining my career, my dreams.” “That’s not what happened” I spoke in a shivering voice. “Then tell us what happened Sebian.” Alin’s mother asked with a genuine concern in her voice.

“That day while I was getting ready for college, my grandma, she suddenly fainted. I didn’t know what to do?” my voice shook but I continued. “I called my father and he told me to bring her to the city. Calling you totally slipped out of my mind” I looked at Alin. “After I reached there, everything went so fast. She was admitted in the hospital, the operation, everything. She is still in there, in coma.” I have started crying now. “I tried calling you after reaching there but you wouldn’t pick up. How was I suppose to tell you anything.” This time when I looked at her, I can see her expressions softening a bit. “I knew you wouldn’t listen to me but I still wanted to tell you everything and that’s why I wanted to meet you. I didn’t mean to ditch you Alin, it just happened.”

I didn’t want to sit here crying in front of everyone and make a mess. “I am sorry” I uttered and got up to leave when my phone rang, it was my dad. He asked me if I reached alright and told that there was no progress in grandma’s condition. I told him to take care of himself and keeping the phone in my pocket walked towards the main door to leave.

I can feel the gaze of the whole family behind me. Alin probably didn’t believe me otherwise she would have said something. I opened the door and got out on the road finally relieved that I have told her everything but the feeling of losing her was killing me from the inside. Maybe my interception into her life was because of something stupid but somewhere on the way I started liking, everything about her but now it’s too late. I heard footsteps behind me but was too lost in my thoughts to bother. It took me a few moments to realize that someone was calling my name and a few more moments to turn and see Alin standing there.