《The Bloody Adventures of Vini and Enzo》The Hybrid Car
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Barra da Tijuca, Rio de Janeiro
Barra da Tijuca. Friday. Another magnificent end of an afternoon in the best neighborhood in the capital, Barra da Tijuca. Our favorite duo was returning from school to spend the day doing exactly nothing, but Enzo had other plans. Well, sort of. Because instead of going the normal way, he opted to go through the underground parking lot. And this is where our confusion begins.
- Hey, Vini, do you think cannibalism is a heinous crime?
Sure, there is no way to escape a philosophical conversation.
- A heinous crime?
- É? You know, these people exist. But if a man or a woman is arrested for eating people. Should they be convicted of a heinous crime?
- I don't know what the law says. But what I do know is that to eat a person... - Vini paused. - The traditional way, you have to kill them first.
- I saw what you did there. - Enzo understood the sexual reference.
- So, in the end, to eat a person, you need to commit a murder.
- Wouldn't it be more practical to take those people who are going to be sentenced to death. You know, terrorists, rapists. Before you dispose of the body, you could slice the meat and send it to the cannibals.
- Enzo, this conversation is making me dizzy.
Well, in the first basement of the parking lot, besides several very interesting cars parked, one of them caught my attention.
- Look at this, Vini. - Enzo pointed. - This is why I love Lake. The people here understand cars. Look at the vehicle on the roof.
- Infiniti fx35. - Vini replied.
- That's right. Look at the vehicle of the 12th-floor resident.
- Porsche Panamera. It's not my favorite Porsche, but it's a beautiful machine. - Something caught Vini's eyes - Hey, Enzo, look at that.
- No, it's not possible.
Oh, but it was doable. Enzo had to get closer to make sure it wasn't a mistake.
- A Toyota Corolla Hybrid. - Enzo finished.
- That's right, your theory has fallen apart. - Vini smiled.
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- No, no, no. - Enzo refused to accept. - It must be a mistake.
- Enzo, the car is right in front of you.
- Let me live in denial, Vini! Why would anyone buy a hybrid car?
- Oh, no. Here we go.
- I'm serious, the hybrid version of the Corolla costs 180,000. For less than 170, I can buy...
- Here we go. - Vini interrupted him. - I know what you're going to say.
- What am I going to say?
- That for 170,000 you can buy a Civic Si.
- Exactly! - Enzo raised his arms. - I can get a better car for a lower price! But that's not the point.
- The point is hybrid cars.
- Exactly! Why would I buy a hybrid car in Brazil? It doesn't make any sense! One, I have no encouragement to buy a hybrid car. Two, hybrid cars are two, even three times more expensive than gas-powered models. Three, I can't recharge my hybrid car anywhere. If I go to any gas station, where am I going to plug it in? Four, I pay 10,000 just to do the whole support thing for parking the electric car. How am I going to assemble it here in Lake? Five, gasoline is expensive here. Electricity is also expensive. So if I buy a hybrid, I will have to spend twice as much!
- Are you done with your hate speech against the vehicles of the future?
- No! Finally, no car manufacturer has managed to make a beautiful hybrid.
- Don't you think the Corolla is beautiful?
- Not that it isn't, but the Civic is prettier. It is like saying: Hey, is Clooney handsome? I will say yes. Then you ask me, but if you compare him to Brad Pitt? I will say that they are both handsome, but Clooney is better looking.
- Wait a minute. Do you think George Clooney is better looking than Brad Pitt?
- Yes, I do. I told you that already.
- No, you didn't.
Nonsensical discussions aside, Enzo didn't hide his interest in knowing who owned that Toyota. So, instead of going to Vini's house, he returned to the front gate of Lake, since the doormen apparently had no work to do.
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- I don't really know, Enzo. - One of the doormen answered. - A Corolla? Hey, Joe!
- What is it?
- Do you know who owns the Corolla?
- I don't know, dammit!
As it turned out, only Enzo showed interest in unraveling the mystery of the Corolla's owner. And that was indeed the case.
In Vini's apartment, Enzo couldn't stop thinking about it. Instead of simply ignoring a nonsense that would add absolutely nothing to his life, he wanted to get to the bottom of it anyway.
- Enzo, darling, don't you think you should let it go? - Belgium made an intelligent suggestion.
- Forget it? How could I forget it?
But obviously that's not what Enzo did. The next day, he woke up early to wait outside Lake's garage. During the period, several vehicles of the most varied makes and models passed by, ranging from small Honda Fit, VW Beetles, and luxury sports cars, such as the Porsche already mentioned in the first paragraphs. Sadly, for Enzo, is that none of them were hybrids, which meant that his search was, until that given moment, hopeless.
- Shit! - Enzo complained.
Still, it could be worse.
As Enzo stepped into the elevator, he was confronted by a man of Asian descent. He was wearing casual clothes and a white cap, nothing very unusual. But as soon as Enzo pushed the door to his 11th floor, he noticed the keys on the man's right finger. The Toyota logo appeared.
- Holy shit! That's him!
But as Enzo tried to return, the elevator descended into the basement parking lot. A small screen indicating the floors appeared in red. Enzo ran to the stairs. It would be madness to compete with an elevator, but he was going to give it a try. As he reached the seventh floor, his legs began to quit. It was a short distance to go, but at the same time, and in a funny way, a lot. A few floors later, Enzo reached the underground, but could not locate the Corolla. He had the idea to guide himself by the sound of the engine, but guess what?
- Damn hybrid cars! - Enzo reminded himself that these cars don't produce any sound.
However, there was still a chance, since the doorman who releases the vehicles could give him the driver's information. Well, he could, if he was at his workstation.
- Oh, crap.
The next day Enzo returned to the garage one more time. He could have camped there, it wouldn't even make a difference, apart from the smell of carbon dioxide and sooty dust. And in the same parking spot he finally found the parked Corolla, connected to the electrical compartment that recharges the battery by a long and even thin wire.
- Look at this - Enzo said. - It looks like an old TV connected to a rubber cable.
So, luck finally smiled kindly to Enzo, because the same man from the day before appeared. At first he was surprised that Enzo was standing there staring at his vehicle. The situation couldn't get any weirder.
- Why did you buy a hybrid? - Enzo asked before the man.
- What's the deal?
- Why did you buy a hybrid? You're Japanese, the Japanese are all about cars! Honda, Toyota, Subaru, Mitsubishi!
- I'm not Japanese, I'm Chinese!
That changes things.
- Oh. That' s clear.
But then Enzo recalled a detail.
- Wait a minute. Isn't a Chinese guy driving a Japanese car kind of a cultural outrage?
- I hate the Japanese, but Chinese cars are terrible.
- They really are.
- And by the way, my company supplied me with this vehicle. I had a choice between this and a BMW.
Uh-oh.
- Wait a minute. - Enzo said. - Which BMW?
- 330I.
- You traded a 330I for a hybrid Corolla? Chineses don't know anything about cars at all, really!
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