I woke up feeling like I was 20 again. I hopped out of bed and banged my head on the ceiling. Lela was up and humming. She saw me bang my head and grabbed the Feast coupon and stuck it in the voucher slot.

The microwave dinged a few times and Lela flew over and grabbed the food. She put the entire smorgasbord on the single table. I walked over and sat down. There was far too much food to eat but I might as well try.

While stuffing my face I asked Lela what the special occasion was. She replied “Nothing…” in a way that let me know something was an issue. I let it go. I’d let her keep her secrets. Besides, the food was good and the Gatorade was cool.

Finishing up I asked “Ok then what’s in store for the day?” while putting on pants. The pants and under shirt I put on were fresh and clean. This bugged me for a second but I stopped thinking about it quickly. Stopping thinking about something was a valuable skill.

Lela responded to my question by saying “the only thing you have to do is go back and loot the corpses from yesterday and explore some more. You should find enough food coupons to not have to complete another dungeon for a few days”.

We exited the safe room and did just that. The gargoyle's body had already been looted. The chest on the other hand was not. It was a massive golden chest with a clear diamond lock that was unlocked and waiting to be removed.

Opening the chest I found:

“Caution Wet Floor” sign - This totem increases shoe grip and agility when in presence of a wet floor. This totem makes it almost impossible to slip in a 30’ area around the placed item. “Extra Grip Work Gloves” - This pair of lvl 5 cut resistant work gloves not only keep your hands safe from cuts but also makes it almost impossible to be disarmed in combat. “Metal Detectable Blue Glove holders” These blue glove clips hold your gloves. They are metal detectable. They are designed to break if caught on anything. These are not magical or special in any way.

Interestingly enough when I looked at the items Lela went ahead and informed me of the special characteristics. She was significantly more helpful today. Maybe it was the increased familiar bond. Maybe she was in a mood yesterday.

I put the floor sign in my inventory. I would have to ask her what a totem was later but it seemed pretty self explanatory. I clipped the gloves to my belt loop on my left hand side. The clips were almost exactly like the ones from my old job. How long ago was that? It has been years now.

I asked Lela about the spell and ability from yesterday's level up:

Home Safe - This passive trait allows for a greatly increased passive regeneration. Lost fingers and deep cuts will never slow you down now. Work just keeps on going. Torch spell - Light will never be an issue again. You can project a very bright beam of light out of your forehead and cause illumination to reach out to 300’.

Home safe seemed amazing. Maybe my continued investment into constitution was really paying off. The torch spell was a joke. I could already see in the damn dark. Thinking of it I put the available skill points into constitution again. Regeneration seemed like it was worth investing into. Torch was a bit of a letdown. I thought I might be hearing fire or something but no, I guess just light.

Getting that done I knew I needed to try something. I went back and tagged and taped off the dangers in this dungeon. I left a tag on the various doors with the strategy I used to conquer the rooms, and I even wrote down my failures. I even tagged where the little monster attacked me and in the hallway.

I didn’t get another prompt with extra experience. I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t make the dungeon safe before completing it or if it wasn’t considered safe because I failed the first room.

“Pat, don't get down. What you’re doing will help other people even if it’s not perfect. You’re doing your best regardless” and Lela’s kind words helped a lot. I don’t know what I would do without her.

I went back and inspected all the bodies. Even the kid's body. All the other bodies had meal tickets of various levels but no other loot. I guess grabbing the dagger the day before counted as the item loot for the old hag and the kid did seem very impoverished.

Thankfully all the bodies disappeared shortly after I finished looting them. I was sort of concerned about the kid’s body and if it was really a monster. I didn’t want to be a murderer and for some reason I felt like I should not be killing kids. What a kid would be doing down in the dungeon I couldn’t consider. There had to be a society or group that would stop kids from entering the dungeon. Like maybe the adventurer’s society. Those are a thing right?

Above my paygrade.

Thinking about that, what was I getting paid for this? This was harder work than I had done in years. Sure the loot was good and this was fun but money was important wasn’t it?

“Hey Lela what am I getting paid for this?” I asked. Lela was quiet for a second and seemed taken aback. “Why Pat, don’t you remember? If you survive down here for a year you’ll get a retirement stipend and plot of land gifted directly from the King himself”. As she said this my mind started kicking back on remembering the agreement I made with the tall regal king.

I was sitting down again. Getting up I decided I wanted to find another dungeon.

Gathering up my stuff I headed back to the entrance of the passage. I took down my airlock at the entrance so other people could conquer the dungeon. Turning down the next passage I heard a huge explosion behind my back and turned around to see Lela’s arms, body, and internal computer components flying and scattering around the passage.

I screamed out “Noooooooooooo” but the room began to tilt and I slammed into the ground hard. I was seeing double but a man with a bow walked up to me saying something. Was it the king? No, what would a King be doing down in the dungeon? He kept talking but I blacked out quickly after.

I woke up some time later with my hands cuffed to a chair. I was sitting in a fairly comfortable recliner and my head pounded like the worst hangover imaginable. I was in a room not unlike my safe space but all the lights were off except the light in the small bathroom. There was a large lump on the bed.

“Errrr excuse me” I said. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut so I continued “Normally I have to pay for this kind of treatment”. The person rolled over and said “Pat you dick. I waited all day for you to wake up and of course you have to wake up in the middle of the fucking night”.

I knew this voice. The king? No. That idea was not only incorrect but revolting. I knew there was no king. This was America, or past tense maybe. I was American at least. Fuck the king or whoever that was.

The voice flipped on a light next to the bed and got up. I realized who it was after a second. “Tyler? What the hell? Why was I thinking of you as a king?” I started shaking my head clearing out the cobwebs and asking every question I could think of without giving Tyler a second to actually answer anything.

Tyler, having just woken up, took the moment to get a cup of cold coffee from a drip coffee maker on the counter. He patiently let me finish wasting my time asking questions before continuing.

“Pat as best as we can tell this whole system is fucked. No one has found a way back to the surface and we basically seem to be in a rat maze doing tricks for food and power-ups. We’re pretty sure the food has some drugs mixed in that calm us. Best I can manage is a deep concern for my wife and baby even though they should be my main focus. They were across the country though and honestly no one has a clue about navigating the catacombs. One of the fresh out of school kids had noticed everyone had a familiar. He apparently was some sullen fucker and didn’t want the annoyance. He ended up figuring out how much people were changing and connected the dots. He ended up killing his party's familiars and then they ended up saving me a couple weeks back. That kid died a bit ago and we’ve only ran into a few other people. It’s just me and Jason from the old crew.

Oh yeah. Apparently we all didn’t wake up at the same time. I’ve been awake for a month or so and one of the other guys says he’s been awake for at least 4 months.”

It was a lot to take in at once. It jogged my memory of my kids and wife. I felt like I should certainly care a lot more about my kids possibly being alive but Tyler was correct it was like there was a block in my brain preventing me from having a meltdown.

“What’s with the cuffs?” I asked and Tyler seemed a bit regretful. “You remember what I said about that kid that figured out the familiars were controlling us? Well apparently a part of that is a pretty strong feeling of needing to protect or avenge a fallen familiar. When the familiar is killed it almost always results in the person fainting when the spell is broken but when they awake though the response varies. The kid saved someone a bit ago and when they woke up they attacked him. Jason ended up walking in on a gruesome scene. Apparently the guy the kid saved ended up slitting the kids throat and drawing a pentagram in the kids blood. Jason ended up finding the scene and burned the guy alive without a second thought”.

“So the cuffs. I see. Are they magical or did you have them in your pocket when this shit started?”

Tyler guffawed.

“No, not mine. You remember that security guard from the east entrance? That short guy we all thought was ex army or something because he tried to be such a hard ass and never talked?” Tyler started saying for a second before chuckling again. I replied “Yeah” waiting for him to continue. Tyler took a second to visibly center himself before continuing “He was ex army but in IT. He was just doing security work while trying to find a government contract job. Well apparently he was into dominatrix stuff with his old lady. His dungeon loot was all cheap sex shop items and he runs around in a fucking gimp suite and heels when he leaves his safe area. He gets a massive bonus wearing them all so he pretty much has to wear them, his wife makes him. It’s the fucking funniest shit. You’ll see”.

“You don’t mean to say… The cuffs are his…. Do you” I slowly put the information given together. Tyler laughed again and walked out the door. “Hey you prick pull these off”.