《That Guy Is Boring》Chapter 43 - The Fuffas, also known as magical sparring creatures.
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Before another international crisis could start, an abundance of strange, whitish-skinned figures made their appearance, quickly surrounding the group on both sides.
"These look more interesting to fight," Mario commented on the scene with a certain desire in his blood and wanted to test his improvements, firmly taking a position in the back and opening his arms as if to welcome the visitors. Sabrina moved behind his back with Camilla and Alex's companionship, leaving only Roberto on the opposite front where Mario was standing.
"Oh, Sabrina can stay there, but you two have to move your asses and earn your own bread," he then said, staring with a still partially murderous look at the married couple, later turning to avoid being stabbed in the back by the wave of Monsters. The two, however, instead of moving forward together or remaining both stationary where they were, almost picked a fight to keep the other from going to the front of the line.
Mario had to put an end to this dispute by grabbing Alex by the neck and, I would say almost but it would not give an honest picture of the scene, throwing him towards Roberto. He then signaled Camilla to come help him, adding briefly before the chaos began, "Let him be a man for once. At worst Sabrina will put him right." Leaving the girl with a bitter taste in her mouth and the urge to argue back, which however she had to put aside when Alex also waved her off, worrying more about letting Mario know with a nice peppered look that he must keep the manly woman safe.
"Done with the bullshit?" Roberto asked, witnessing from start to finish that accidental hero bullshit as he made three knives appear in his right hand. Against the Mini Boss they had proved useless, but that didn't at all mean he was going to give up hours and hours of training for one bad experience.
The new opponents in the meantime had made their way even further into the boy's shooting perimeter perfectly. " Holy Mary, they're ugly. They suck more than the Bolzig," he exclaimed then, loading the shot by spreading his arm and snapping forward before letting go and letting the knives take off. He didn't waste too much time trying to aim either, as the group about to join him numbered at least a dozen monsters about the size of an average man. In fact, in many ways they looked just like light-skinned store dummies, with only odd red patches here and there on their bodies and a strange vertically positioned mouth that descended from their foreheads to their chins.
However, back to the assassination attempt; the knives continued to spin at great speed the whole time, moving in a straight line towards the pile. The Monsters, on the other hand, seemed even more stunned than the Mini Boss they had just beaten. Even though they were in danger, in fact, they didn't even try to move sideways in the few seconds at their disposal, carrying on with their heads down like complete idiots who, inside a warehouse equipped with forklifts, would have died due to the natural evolution of the species.
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Without finding the slightest resistance, the knives went to plant themselves on the first available target, opening a gash in the shoulder of one, penetrating deep into the abdomen of another and wounding yet another in the knee. "Three for three!" Cheered Roberto as if it were really a big deal, forgetting the fact that none of the affected enemies had stopped moving.
"Ready for impact! Watch out for those teeth!" Shouted Mario from the other side, looking at the cannon meat that the System had offered him with a certain contempt. How much will they be? Fifty kilos? Sixty? I feel like I'm about to beat up someone who's taking a shit. He thought with a wide smile on his face, analyzing the most evident features of the Monsters... and underestimating them a little bit maybe. Of course, after fighting face to face with Bolzig, who could blame him?
And, indeed as expected, once the big guy started charging, the new Monsters had no way of stopping him. His way of advancing had certainly taken from his experience on the rugby field, where the best posture was always the lowest possible. Back straight, ass low and shoulders ready for impact; a sort of human bulldozer capable of pushing enough on his own to make a scrum look like a ladies' action.
The front row of that sort of living dummies was literally run over, falling back against the ground with a loud crash. And that was the fate of the lucky ones. The only one among them who managed to resist, remaining attached to Mario's arm with nails and teeth, was detached like an annoying tick and used as a temporary weapon to strike his brothers.
Camilla could not help but remain speechless in front of that demonstration of pure violence, remaining as the last line of defense so as to keep Sabrina, still debilitated, safe. However, a couple of those dummies passed by, quickly arriving in front of the girl. If, unfortunately, you're expecting a couple of assholes lighter than her to get her into trouble, you're missing the whole point.
Now that her mind was free from worries about her husband and the enemy was no longer a colossus more than four meters tall, Camilla did not hesitate in the face of danger. Having more time at her disposal, she raised her guard and swayed with the upper part of her body, striking the first comer with a left jab that managed to dislocate his jaw.
The Monster didn't seem to feel any pain and simply responded by moving his large mouth with some difficulty and pushing his arms forward so he could grab her. "Don't even try!" Was her response to that attack, said through gritted teeth and with a right hook ready to go to knock him out. Poor soul, with a crease like that probably even Mario would have had trouble staying on his feet without feeling his legs shaking a lot.
So the first Monster ended up with his ass on the ground without even managing to make her sweat, passing the torch to the one behind him who, thanks to the heroic sacrifice of his partner, could take advantage of the fact that Camilla's side was still exposed. Or rather, he would have been able to if he had a thinking brain capable of devising a strategy a little more complex than: walk straight, crash and repeat. But since that wasn't the case, Camilla only needed a headbutt to get the space she needed to grab her enemy, block him with an arm grab, and smash him face first into the ground.
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Maybe Roberto had already said this a while back, but I'll join in saying that in bed that demon had to be dangerous but satisfying. As long as the jewels survived the roller coaster without getting crushed or blown up, but that's a discussion we can consider after the consummation.
On the other side of the line, Roberto and Alex were also having their hands full. The first one had once again abandoned his circus game in favor of the [Shifting Blade], using it without much art nor part to hit any enemy that came close enough to him. His slashes could be seen to be made purely at random, but in his inexperience it was still possible to begin to glimpse just how much his total lack of interest in his fellows could benefit the art of the sword.
Instead, between one curse and another, Alex ended up doing the slalom between the three or four creatures that had reached him. Unlike his companion, he had neither the mental fortitude to make knives appear on command nor a System weapon sharp enough to cut off the Monsters' limbs or separate them at the waist. Seeing, however, how light and fragile they were, the boy was able to convert a block of concrete found on the ground back into a lethal weapon, throwing his arms from one side to the other as if he had the death himself at his side.
"Oh, is it just me or do these assholes don't die?" Mario raised his voice without stopping moving, clenching his fist and letting taste his knuckles to yet another dummy that had managed to get up. "Here one in two comes back up! Throw them back down, sooner or later they have to die!" Replied Roberto, freeing himself from the grip of one of the Monsters by elbowing him and subsequently separating his face in two halves but without ending his days.
Camilla was the only one who didn't shout, jumping with her gaze first on Mario and then towards Roberto and Alex, saying much more calmly than the others: "They are both dead here. Do you need a hand?" Referring specifically to her husband, but not moving away from the position for fear that another Monster might overtake Mario.
"No!" Alex entered the scene, sweating and more pissed off than he needed to be. Having already lost count of how many times he had used his trusty concrete block to hit the monsters that kept throwing themselves at him. Still, his efforts didn't seem to be bringing him much results, as the Monsters didn't seem to want to crack once and for all.
As weak as they were, to the point of not even being a real danger to Alex, those things didn't bleed from their wounds and didn't stop moving even when their heads were separated from their bodies or crushed violently.
Thank goodness, however, the kind XK22, incorporeal to the System Monsters and therefore totally safe from any risk, finally gave some information about them. Saying, very late I might add, to the rest of the gang: [These creatures are the Fuffas. Common monsters from Half Star. The System has decided that they will be the common enemies in this instance. Be careful Players! They are weak monsters, but until they are hit in the points of their bodies colored in red, they will not die under any circumstances! You have to aim at their weak points!", he concluded, then raising his paws high to incite the Players to do their best.
Weak points? Roberto repeated as he got rid of the Fuffa coming at him, dropping wide movements and concentrating instead on quicker pushes and hits at short distance. As he pondered, however, eventually he began to pay more and more attention to the red patches on the creatures' bodies. Some had them on their heads, others on their backs, and still others on their abdomens; they seemed to have been placed without any real logic, honestly speaking.
"You mean to tell me that these morons put a Boss first and then a tutorial? I have no fucking words." He repeated then, throwing two not-so-subtle curses in the middle to make sure he didn't miss anything, grabbing the sword again with both hands and bringing it down from above in a straight line, aiming at one Fuffa in particular with most of his shoulder stained red.
Here the boy could see how much his body had been strengthened by the increase in Level, barely managing not to lose his balance after landing a blow at full power. Actually, not expecting such a thrust, the edge of his blade drew a full arc until it hit the concrete floor beneath his feet before coming to a complete stop. A lightness that could have cost him a System weapon but, fortunately, [Shifting Blade] managed to withstand it like a champion.
The stricken Fuffa, on the other hand, slipped to the ground as a marionette with no more strings attached to its body would have done, crumbling quickly and dying without much trouble; finally proving how easy it could be to send them to the other world.
"Now we're talking," Roberto returned to say, clutching his weapon again to resume his cleanup.
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