《That Guy Is Boring》Chapter 37 && 38 - Fly like a camel, sting like a tumor. (Part 2)

Advertisement

The low-budget Hercules demonstrated physical strength well outside the norm, moving quickly like a feline despite the bulky objects he held tightly in his hands. "Let's see if this way goes down!" He shouted then probably more to drive away the anxiety than anything else, moving at the same time the makeshift bat and delivering a 'very hard slap', technical term, to the Monster's back.

The impact was brutal, simply incredible. The Bolzig, despite being as big and thick as can be, seemed to take the blow like any other Christian. Another grotesque gurgling sound filled the air but no one could tell if it was a wail of pain or a cry full of anger. Frightened by that, Mario stifled his thoughts and let out a second attack in the same spot, watching with his own eyes the Mini Boss almost falling to the side and being forced to use one of his huge legs as a support to avoid smashing on the ground.

"Well, well... Never fear! Never fear! Straight in! Straight in!" He returned to raise his voice Mario, instinctively repeating the words of his rugby coaches, finding some comfort in those old days.Even though he wasn't a front line player, this didn't mean that as a second line player he had never had to go straight in against behemoths even heavier than himself. And, on the field there was only one rule: if the asshole in front of you has a ball in his hand, he must fall to the ground and stay there! No matter the cost.

The dear and friendly Bolzig, however, did not find polite the treatment offered to him and, as he struggled to get his back straight, used one of the many tentacles that surrounded his body like a dress to get Mario off his back. "Shit!" He shouted in response, raising the thick wooden door he was using as a shield to parry those sudden lashings.

"Ah, fuck. Seriously, it took so little effort?" Commented Roberto at the same time, from his elevated potion as he saw a Mario of a minimum of one hundred and something kilograms being lifted off the ground a few inches by the rush of the blows. Fortunately though, the shield withstood the strike like a true champion, losing only a few bits and pieces here and there.

"Impressive..." Mario found himself saying without many more words once he got his feet back on the ground and clutched his weapons even tighter. However, the Bolzig seemed to have already recovered and had already begun a series of ungainly movements in order to turn in his direction, which forced the boy to act quickly before the Monster could conclude his maneuver. Moving to the side and dropping a third blow, aiming this time at the creature's side.

Again, the Monster suffered the impact, but responded even faster than before with a wave of tentacles already accelerating. Fortunately, the door resisted once again, allowing him to emerge unharmed from the fight. Unfortunately, at that moment he was no longer behind the Bolzig, so once those blows were over, the Monster used his left arm to strike back.

Mario ended up flying back several meters, almost as if his body weight had been reduced to zero from one moment to the next. He was lucky not to find anything to slam into during his journey of pleasure and manage not to tip backwards despite the thrust. Nevertheless, once his feet were firmly on the ground, he clearly felt a numbness all over his left arm and even on his shoulder.

Advertisement

Immediately, the door that had been light to carry up to that point became more like a boulder and the arm he was using it with began to respond more slowly to his commands. "This is some good shit," he commented biting his lip and raising his head so he could look the Monster in the face.

Finding that ugly face in front of him made the blood freeze in his veins. He hadn't fired his fireball yet, but Mario knew it was only a matter of time. His plan to fight him at close range had already failed after a couple of exchanges. "I've spent my life loosening you up, don't repay me like this." He then said through clenched teeth referring to his own body, rejecting the idea of being beaten that way in a purely physical fight.

He had already lost his girlfriend. He had already lost a lot of his friends (although that had been his ex's fault). And he'd also lost his place on the team when he'd given up practice so he could spend more time with her. In the end he was left with a handful of issues and a lot of bad feeling in his heart. Losing even now in a contest of physical prowess wasn't even an option.

The massive physique he'd developed over the years was the one thing that hadn't turned on him and had always lived up to expectations, repetition after repetition. "Now go down!" He gave himself the charge again before taking off on the assault, slamming like a cannonball into the walls of a castle. Projecting into the Monster he wanted to defeat most of his problems and risking even more of his life in the process; but that I'd say could be counted as secondary.

Regardless, as crazy as it might have been, jumping into the mix saved his life. In fact, the Bolzig had already completed the preparations to be able to execute his shot from a distance and, in case it had fired, the resulting explosion would have undoubtedly brought Mario one step away from death. Shield or no shield, the human body was not designed to withstand the impact of a grenade.

But due to the way his intelligence had been programmed, he could not fire once the boy exceeded a certain range requirement. Beyond that point, the Monster's attack was disabled to prevent it from injuring itself. Or rather, to prevent the Players from leading him to kill himself with his own hands, or his own protuberances.

Secondly, the determination of the boy's soul was noticed by the System.

The Personal Skill Massive Physique is increased in level. The benefits given by the Skill are increased. Current Level (+1). Congratulations on the Level increase].

Announced the usual metallic voice of the System, while Mario's body briefly lit up with a blinding glow. Although, to tell the truth, he was the only one who didn't notice the change. Busy as he was to avoid dying painfully, that momentary glow was not captured at all by the receptors of his brain.

One person who did notice it was the dear and sweet Roberto, still standing in the same spot. The notification of the System brought something like a smile on his face, giving him a lot of new information and hypothesis to be tested. In addition, and maybe this detail was much more important but not for Roberto, the increase of the Skill Level seemed to give Mario a new strength.

Already during his desperate outburst, his arms held high the improvised weapons he had procured. His legs, swollen with well-oxygenated muscles, were allowing him to move forward with such impetus that he almost fell forward. A difference in physical capabilities comparable to the gains of several months of gym and good nutrition. Or a few cycles of steroids, if you were less concerned about your health.

Advertisement

"No fire? You son of a bitch!" He then shouted from the bottom of his heart with more satisfaction than fear once he reached his target and delivered such a powerful strike to the Monster's lower abdomen that it deformed the reinforcing beam he was using as a weapon. "Well!? Come down, come down! Son of a bitch, come down!" He resumed with increasing fury as he continued to swing his club.

The Bolzig couldn't help but gurgle repeatedly, with an even more distorted and pained guttural voice. His massive body didn't bend much more than before, but it seemed clear that he was struggling with the repeated hits. Despite the thick layer of skin, muscle, and fat that formed its natural armor, the Monster slowed its movements to the point where it became almost completely helpless.

"Awesome!" Commented Roberto at that moment, as he watched the scene with wide eyes. And to think that a simple level increase can lead to such a result... For once I can't tell the developers to fuck off. He thought shortly afterwards, feeling the tension drop rapidly. At this rate, at least in his estimation, the Boss would be defeated without even his help. Oh, by the way, the urge he felt to go and join the fight also went out quickly, again for the same reason.

"Ogh... Ogh..." As a Mini Boss however, the Bolzig also had a dignity to protect. The pain he was enduring was already enormous and every single time Mario unloaded his anger on him it would only grow. But despite appearances, he had not yet suffered any internal damage worth mentioning.

Therefore, as if he had suddenly woken up from a nice nap, the Monster used one of his thick arms to return the favor, slamming the back of his fist into Mario's shield after executing a wide rotating motion.

As just before, the boy's body lifted off the ground but, fortunately, by only a few inches. The wood of the door had done its job once more, though now it showed clear signs of breaking. Regardless, the adrenaline in Mario's veins made him ignore the rush of pain and fright, allowing him to resume the close-quarters melee as soon as he was back on the ground.

"Ah... so it won't be that easy. Too bad," Roberto concluded after witnessing the exchange, dismissing his previous assumptions. "Oh, well. As long as he doesn't give in he'll be a great lightning rod," he said again as, with more guts than soul, he climbed over the railing that separated him from a flight of a few feet, completely ignoring his survival instincts. Of course he didn't jump immediately, instead taking a good handful of seconds to cling to the edge of the corridor and let himself fall from there, then using his legs to cushion the recoil associated with the fall with a position that resembled a basic squat.

"Luckily it was only four or five meters... Ouch, that fucking hurts," he then took to complaining like a highborn young lady, preferring anyway a little physical pain and a possible fracture to wasting time getting back to the ground floor using the stairs. In fact, considering that he was right in the middle of the structure, going down that way would have meant leaving Mario to his fate.

Ah, right, talking about him; the big guy didn't see his companion's acrobatics, being too busy playing happy family with Bolzig. In fact, just as the smoker was risking a critical medical prognosis, the Monster had just used some of its tentacles like whips to strike him in the legs and back.

The clothes in those places were literally ripped clean off as a burning sensation went straight to his bones. "Shit!" It was a fairly new kind of pain for him, used to the dry thrashing of shoulder blows, and of course it didn't please him. Granted then the absence of masochistic tendencies, Mario launched another violent attack, this time using what was left on his shield. Pointing his feet to the ground and launching himself forward in a single sprint he managed to give such an acceleration to the piece of wood that, once impacted between his right leg and lower abdomen, managed to push the Monster back a few centimeters.

The Bolzig excavated the ground under his feet without getting up, letting out another prolonged guttural cry. Tiny streams of extremely dark colored viscous blood made the piece of wood change color where his spikes had made some superficial wounds, giving a clear signal to the big guy that his offensive was really having an effect.

"Hold it like this!" He then heard Roberto's voice from the side, without being able to see him yet. However, not even wasting time wondering what the fuck he was going to do, Mario used his free arm to push further to not give the creature a moment to breathe. Rather than a swing of the bat in fact, that last attack of his felt more like a punch that managed to make its way into the overflowing belly in front of him.

"Excellent! Excellent! Excellent!" Roberto then said excitedly as with semi-professional quickness, promptly making his knives appear and throwing them with all the force he could imprint on them, aiming at different areas to find a weak spot. Not that he had much luck in this regard, but that was another story.

In fact, even though the blades that came out of his hands were flying fast, sometimes spinning and sometimes not, none of them caused a cut even comparable to the one that Mario had managed to inflict with his brute force. In fact, to be more precise, the knives that slammed into the tentacles, and the skin underneath, slipped away without even scratching their surface.

"Impressive..." The boy couldn't help but exclaim with some wonder, finding in the grotesque forms of the Mini Boss a bizarre, but efficient, response of natural evolution. Of course, a part of him would have wanted to set him on fire since such a physique had made all his training as a knife thrower totally useless; in addition to the fatigue related to that activity.

Fortunately, however, during the previous night, he had also used Pen Pen to give him some advice on how to handle a short sword for white combat. Which was why he made his [Shifting Blade] appear with a quick gesture of the hand in which he held the Terminal, ready to test his luck.

"Are you going to!" Mario resumed speaking, while that entire sequence of useless actions went on, enduring in the process more lashes on his back and a swipe by the Bolzig. "To! Help me!? Shit! Shit! Shit!" Spitting through gritted teeth one word at a time as he moved to parry, dodge or strike as much as he could; amazingly managing to withstand the strain of the blow without collapsing to the ground.

Roberto had something to say about this, but avoided arguing back. Rather, he took advantage of the fact that the Bolzig was giving all the attention to his teammate to catch him from behind and unleash a series of master rib lunges. The edge of [Shifting Blade] was enough to counterbalance his lack of technique and graces, allowing him to still leave a series of marks on the Monster's body.

He didn't like that treatment and, even though he couldn't see it, started to move wildly all the tentacles that covered his back and ass, imprinting in focus among other things a terrible image in the retinas of the boy. "Fuck!" In any case, he was barely able to observe that black hole for just a moment, before one of those many whips pushed him away; even opening a wound on most of his right arm.

"Fuck that hurts... Seriously that fool is putting up with them without batting an eye?" He wondered then once he had distanced himself, finding himself forced to tighten his grip on the weapon in an attempt to fight the excruciating pain. Even with the brain he happened to have, he found the resistance Mario was showing in that fight absurd, both in terms of energy and pain tolerance.

Of course, both of those parameters had obtained a huge increase thanks to [Massive physique] but, Skill or not, it was certainly necessary to have a good pair of attributes to not give ground in front of an opponent three, four or five times heavier than you. Not wanting to be outdone, Roberto also put on a good face and jumped back into the fray, twirling his blade wherever he found an opening.

If you look at it from a distance, it was an incredibly fascinating scene. A motivation to overcome one's limits and not lower the head in front of the dangers, certainly not giving a shit about the odds. Rather useless, let's be clear; since despite the Monster's huge body occasionally rocking almost like a ship in the middle of a gale, it hadn't yet slammed its knees to the ground. And, assuming that even in those creatures the head remained the best point to hit, at the moment the hopes of making him kick the bucket were incredibly low.

Alex came to think something similar from his safe and quiet position, while still holding Camilla close to him. To say that he had a staggering amount of confusion in his head wouldn't even give a good picture of is mental state, but I doubt it could have been expected otherwise. His close encounter of the third kind had allowed him to get a lot more into his system than he was able to digest.

At the moment, however, all that information was not important. Now his only concern was to protect his girlfriend, or hypothetically so, from danger. If he could make a good impression in the meantime, that would be great. Sure, the Bolzig terrified him and if the situation had been different he would have faced him head on.

However, he never had that luxury. And, indeed, the more time he wasted staying there with Camilla, the greater the risk that Mario and Roberto would end up seriously injured or even worse. And without fifty percent of the forces in the field, the undertaking would have been even more dangerous for both him and his beauty.

Breathing deeply, the boy finally decided to take action. "Camilla." He called two or three times, meanwhile laying his palm on her head. She, poor thing, had not yet fully recovered. For the girl, seeing Alex in the condition he was in while his mind had been held captive by the illusion had truly been a blow to the heart. On top of that, the sounds of combat reached her ears just fine; putting her in awful fear at the mere thought of getting Alex anywhere near the battlefield.

Poor beast, if the imbecile could read her mind it would probably be the mental equivalent of a castration performed with butcher's hands. Unaware instead of Camilla's real concerns, he did his best to get her up and wipe the tears from her face, then telling her: "You stay here. I've got to go help the two lunatics," wavering, unfortunately, much more than he had intended.

"What?" She replied with a broken breath, seeking his gaze and grabbing the backs of his hands so he wouldn't pull away. "No... You can't go there... Can't you hear the noises? Don't you see how dangerous it is?" He resumed then struggling to get the words out and resumed tearing up, still giving her back to Bolzig and all.

Alex, imbecile, found himself caught in the girl's shining eyes. Bewitched, we could say, while several meters away two poor christians were risking their lives. In fact, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the Monster throwing an open-handed slap out of this world that made Mario spin and roll, leaving him fortunately alive but with a couple of broken bones.

"Camilla," he spoke again then, suppressing the fear he felt. "I have to go now. That creature was created based on the Ability they made us find in the Chest. Without [Supergravity] we don't stand a chance." He then explained between a false firm tone and a shaky gaze that kept dropping and rising as he spoke.

"I don't care! I don't care about anything anymore!" She shouted in response instead, tightening her grip and resting her chin against Alex's forehead. "I'll go! I'll go! I don't want to see you in danger! I don't want to see you in pain! Please... Stay here, I'll go... I'll go instead of you... Please..." She kept repeating over and over, mixing words with sobs until, near the end, even Alex couldn't quite understand what she was trying to say.

To think that nothing has really changed... What a shitty man I've become. Those were the boy's thoughts at that moment. And how could I blame him? Other than protecting her, Camilla was doing everything she could to keep him safe. Could anything be worse?

"Then let's go together, but I want you to stay behind me at all times. Don't try to pass over me," he ended up saying with a hint of defeat in his voice, moving back with his torso so as to free himself from the girl's grip. She, not wanting to give in, tried one more time to close the distance and clip his wings, but Alex was faster than her and managed to escape.

Afraid of losing him, she opened her eyes wide to look for him, but too many tears had blurred her vision. Without the slightest hesitation, she began to rub her cheeks and eyes hard to get her sight back, in tremendous anxiety just imagining the imbecile going alone to face the Monster.

However, when she could once again make out the shapes of her surroundings, an Alex with a wistful smile marking his face appeared before her eyes, extending his hand to her. "I told you we were going together. What? Were you afraid I was going to leave you alone?" He then teased her as she, throwing her weight around, seemed to cling to the hand offered to her.

    people are reading<That Guy Is Boring>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click