When I got back to the apartment, Sid wasn’t on the door and the slim guy who was snored softly in a chair. I gripped my coat and cat-walked past him. I made it into my room and locked the door before I let the terror take me. That feeling of being watched had never left me and my mind was still reeling from the dull force of having someone else inside it.

I threw my jacket on the hook and snatched the bottle out of the pocket. I took a deep drink and fought the urge to vomit. I went to the sink and ran some cold water in my hand and threw it on my face. Somehow, I took off my clothes without ever putting the bottle down and got in bed.

I lay there in the dark and everything rolled like the sea. I took heavy slow breaths with the hope I would fall asleep before the urge to vomit became too much. It was like my mind was trying to break out of my skull, and it used every dark thought it had in its attempt. I focused on the meaningless shapes and images that floated in my eyes and passed into dreaming almost seamlessly.

I was back outside my childhood home. My brother was there and looked ten years old. Storm clouds faded into the silver dawn horizon. The river had flooded and was flowing right up to my doorstep. All kinds of debris floated on the surface, and I scanned it for any signs of Liana.

“Why are you looking for her?” My brother asked me. I got angry and told him to be quiet. There were corpses all in the water and some looked at me. I had to force myself to look at each of them to make sure they weren’t her.

In the center of the slowly moving flow of flesh, water, and wood I saw Ethelyn sitting on a table from the café turned upside down. I didn’t want her to see me as a child so I hid behind my brother. She stood up on the table and called for me. I wouldn’t come out. She got more frantic in her yelling and slipped off the table. I screamed and dove into the river after her, falling below the surface. The water was as deep and dark as the Anasian ocean had been when I had fallen overboard. Somewhere in the deep a light flashed and I screamed and woke up.

There was a dull daylight coming in the edges of the curtains and I heard rain outside. I hit the bottle again and lay back down. I remembered the flash in the dream and a cold terror rose in the back of my skull. I thought of the flash of light I had seen before I woke up at Heldar’s, which I had forgotten until now.

I had felt a clamoring of voices, a clashing of emotions, then a common confusion. I had gotten the sense in half a second that I was watching someone, then that I was being watched, then that whoever it was demanded something of me. The feeling had stopped just as suddenly as the light had turned to darkness. Now, the memory of the light seemed different, as if I had known it before and had only forgotten.

I didn’t have the strength to think of what any of it meant, and I knew I had to save everything for whatever tomorrow would bring, so I let my drunkenness carry me off to sleep. The next dream came after hours of empty sleep.

It was a dim room lit by a strange light that was just less than moonlight. The light came from a stone set in the silver staff of one of the robed men that stood around the wall. The room was made of dark porous stone that shined like it was wet. Set in the walls were alcoves like the ones that hold the dead in the catacombs, but these were trimmed in curtains of gossamer flecked with glittering gems. In the alcoves, mattresses of swelling silk receded into the darkness and on these, in gilded silks with gold crowns and bracelets dangling everywhere, were children. All but one were asleep.

The robed men were watching one child who was propped up on his elbow looking out to the men like a king to his subjects. He spoke to them and his voice ran through my mind the same way the flash had, like Heldar’s voice had, but it was smooth and I found myself soothed by it. I knew the sounds were of my language, but the words were strange. I knew if I heard them outside the dream I would understand nothing.

“He is high above Dolthun. It’s already burned. Gelden flies to gather his brother. It’s for nothing. He is laughing. He wants them all gathered.”

The old men flinched at the word “He”. The old man in front spoke in a rumble.

“What did you see in his mind? What of his heart?”

The boy turned away and when he turned back the tears in his eyes glittered brighter than any jewel in the cave. He grimaced.

“He,…”

I felt a hand on mine and I looked over. It was Liana. She was dressed in gossamer, like moonlight flecked with stars, and laying in an alcove. Her eyes pleaded with me and I knew the old men wouldn’t let her leave. I also knew they were distracted at the moment. I grabbed her up in my arms and took off down a corridor. I heard the men yell and ran faster.

The caves were a maze. I turned at random and heard them yelling all around. Their voices got closer and she held me tighter and whimpered. I felt a rage in me as I ran down the corridor. A light swelled at the end. I sprinted for it and a shadow stepped out into silhouette. In its outline, I saw it was as tall as a man could get and there was a strange motion to its head, as if it was wreathed in writhing snakes. I decided to charge it. I shifted Liana to my back and braced myself to knock it over. A sudden panic gripped me as I feared it would stand firm like a statue. Before I could find out I woke up again.

I've never been one for dwelling on dreams, but I remembered the way it felt to hold Liana and my arms ached. My chest felt cold for her warmth. My neck and face were like fire where she had been just moments ago. I shut my eyes tight and tried to will her back to me. Instead, I got darkness and another fucking dream.

I was sitting in an office. It was one of those dreams where you’re someone else completely and you don’t remember your real life until you wake up. I was some kind of Cap. That alone should have woke me up but it didn’t. I was sitting across from an older guy who looked like a soldier that refused to age, but let time grey his hair and sprinkle wrinkles in places out of courtesy. He spoke like an axe coming down.

“It might break you.”

“I thought you said I was the guy for it?”

“You are, but it might break you anyway.”

“I guess that’s for me to worry about, then.”

“As long as you only break after. If you break before it’s all through, you’ll get it from me.” He didn’t even smile.

“Suppose I don't care too much about that if I’m gonna be broken anyway.” I said.

“I said broken, not dead. Any other questions?”

“Yea, are you sure your guy is good for it?”

“What? He's not my guy. God damn kid, he belongs to the Spear if he belongs to anyone.”

“You know what I mean. Is he good for it?”

“Didn’t you hear what the fuck I said? Get it in your head what you’re going in for here, or don’t come back in my office!”

“Is that all?”

“Yea. Get the fuck out. ‘Is he good for it?’ fucking hell.”

I walked out to the hall. I was eager to get on with whatever it was just to finish it and shove it in his face. I packed my pipe and heard a noise down the hall. Liana was walking up to me. She was wrapped in the same cloak she had been wearing in the caves but this version of me didn’t recognize it. This version of me had only known her a little while and didn’t even know she was missing. I put the pipe in the corner of my mouth and smiled in a way I hoped would tell her what was on my mind as I looked through the thin gossamer. She didn’t smile back and hurried closer. She looked like she was going to say something, till something stopped her.

She looked over my shoulder and screamed without making any noise. I looked that way down the hall. A man was standing there who should’ve died a few thousand years ago when the heroes cleansed the land. He was seven feet tall with eyes like a raptor. His face was wide-eyed and he was smiling like a demon. The more I looked at him the less I could see his features, like he was melting into shadow. I felt Liana move away from me and looked back to see her running down the hallway. I took off after her and I heard him laugh behind me, then I woke up.