What was that?! Why was I beating someone up? I felt controlled...I'd never do that even if it meant the taking of my own life. Violence, I hate it, I sincerely loathe violence. It is not what I wanted to do, I'm not mentally fit to have fights - I would have cried if I ever was forced into a survival situation. So why were there no emotions felt at that moment? I was probably not right in the mind at that moment, it had to be the answer. It's the only answer I thought of, I won't agree with the fact that I might be deranged to the point I can murder someone without a second thought and hard-felt guilt.

"Oi, earth to Aaron!" George whispered in my ear, snapping me far away from the thoughts. I promptly scrambled on the side of my body at a very fast pace to face a confused George who kept staring at me.

"Yes?" I signed with my hands.

"Uh...have you heard the news?" George mentioned, brushing that moment out of his life.

"What news?"

"The news of a Kent student getting severely beaten up?"

Fear knocked down my doors and immediately took over my entire body. I stung into a frozen manner and unblinkingly stared at George with widened eyes as the texture of sweat warmer than the freezing night tip-toed down my face, flooding my thoughts of that night following the rhythm of my beating heart that planned to deteriorate any second.

"I understand you hate violence, but everyone in this campsite is going wild speculating that it might have been a student from another rival School County." George, unaware of my state, carried on with the subject.

"Why would you think that? If it's true then they're pathetic." I signed with shaky dampened hands before turning over to hide my shocked expression. I wanted to desperately announce it was me who did it - I was the one who, without remorse, continued to abuse this innocent student that came in my way, but something, deep inside me and tingling at my throat trapped my voice from escaping and paralysed my hands to the side as it was saying to never snitch on myself. I tried, with all my strength, to mutter it out, alert George loudly with my voice, to explain that I was the one who did it and needed justice. Nothing worked out in my favour, the more I tried, the more I felt the veins running down my neck pop up onto the skin and smudge my skin into a red blush as oxygen was snipped halfway down my throat.

Say...it...you...bastard--!

"Whoever he was, I will thank him because that boy was the singular one who stole my dinner and picked on me for no reason. His disfigured face can't do that anymore." George chirped behind me.

I never thought my friend was getting bullied, he had that weird personality but it wasn't too extreme that it might make him a creep. I don't know if I feel relief or joy, or both. Should the fact that I saved him by beating up this "innocent" student unwillingly excuse the fact that I did a criminal, almost homicide, act? My heart wasn't drenched in a squashed pain filled with empathy, it felt painful in a different way. A way that I shouldn't feel for the stress lifted off George, it felt like hatred, the hatred that found the happiness of a boy found once again annoying and cliche. It must just be paranoia, as a way to get rid of that thought, I headed out of the camp and got an evening snack that was honey on toast.

On the way, I met Lia doing the same thing. She was humming a song alone with a smile when she noticed me arriving at a small roofed area connected to the big main tent in front of the Medical Room called "The Kitchen".

"Hungry?" She signed, chewing into her toast. I nodded simply and dipped two slices of bread into the toaster to watch it boil up as I checked around me subconsciously to see if anyone figured out who the culprit was. I wanted them to know, but I had to keep that thought a secret so something deep inside of me wouldn't restrain and possibly pass me out intentionally.

"Stay safe, alright?" Lia hummed to my ears, patting my shoulders as she wandered off to her camp. I didn't take a glance to watch her walk off, I just stood staring at my toast toasting away while my stomach growled loudly. Above the toaster was a zipped window with holes, allowing me to see what was happening inside the medical aid area. There, resting on a medical bed, being helped by duty doctors on hour schedules with equipment and wires, appeared the student I brutally beaten up. Something swiftly took me over as I felt myself simultaneously peer at the boy as he started lifting his chin to look around his surroundings, and it was hard to read, but somehow he smiled under tremendous lumps caused by my fist alone.

"How are you feeling, Duncan?" The female blonde doctor asked, checking Duncan's hands and veins.

"I feel great. Have they found him yet?" Duncan smiled.

"Not at the moment. You might need to describe him."

"Ah? He's average height, has an average appearance. He's just the most average human you've seen-" Duncan blatantly stopped in his sentence, his warm smile dropped to a cold shiver of fear as his quivering eyes dusted with redness locked eyes with the nightmare of his world. Duncan sat still like the frozen age when his mouth snapped open after he saw my silhouette come face to face. I stood and glared his eyes down without emotions, the whoosh of the toast popping up from the toast didn't dare make me flinch as I felt like I was a predator stalking his prey. His fingers tore their way to poke his skinny, boney index finger bent leftwards in my direction while screaming in silence, so far yet so close as I heard his heart rapidly beat like the metal drums waiting for the screeching roar of the century. I felt calm, I felt calm watching Duncan quake in fear while his agony of words denied exploding into the thin black air of a forthcoming blizzard.

"T-That's him!" Duncan shrieked with sadness. I took the two slices of the toast and sprinted towards my tent as quickly as possible. I knew I wasn't fast enough, I heard one of the teachers scream penetrate outside, they were screaming for all the other teachers to get me. The adrenaline I felt as I camped behind a thick tree, hiding my shadow from the gleaming moon, focusing on a group of teachers flashing their torches everywhere to locate where I was. One of the teachers tried using the ground to his advantage but the mud wasn't wet but dried like solid. The teacher sighed and kept swinging his torch around through the crowds of confused students escaping their tents, including George and Lia.

"How can you lose him in this split of a second?!" A far distant teacher shouted in anger.

"I don't know! He's a quick bastard is all I can get out of!" Another teacher shouted back, echoing into the night.

Knowing I wasn't clear enough to casually walk to my tent, I sneaked far into the woods, far from the cave and far from the light. Birds chirped around as I fell onto my buttocks catching my breath as I watched the moon hover above me like it was watching me and me only. Something felt different in me, I know my personality drastically shifted. These circumstances and scenes would not describe who I am, these would describe the story of violent criminals that went unsolved in detective books.

It was well clear of what has become of me, I wasn't me anymore, was I? The obsession has changed me dangerously.

It's like I've become a different person, a cold, menacing person that my previous self wouldn't go near or step into. I felt like a newborn, refreshed with a new reshaped personality and a new restored neurological system. My previous identity felt like it was slowly slipping away, merging into something else.

Something much more evil…

That's plain stupid, obviously.

I can't be that paranoid and deranged now, can I…?

Can I…?