《Fearing Life, Coveting Death》22. Death
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He dragged himself without stopping for even a moment.
When there are some rocks, he just passed over them ignoring the discomfort.
He didn't felt the urge to eat neither to drink water, his whole body was bleeding.
In his mind he just wanted one thing, prove himself. He already accepted his own death, it was inevitable.
As for what Long said about the blue stones? Alonn didn't believe in him, he thinks that Long just wants to see him suffering.
However, Alonn is still dragging himself over the har ground.
His fear was still there, lurking in his heart. But his fury were suppressing that.
'I lived a good and confortable life... I have no regrets except my parents... But... I still can't help but fear what is beyond,' Alonn thought to himself.
'I know it's all right to fear it... But I don't want to end my life like this. I don't know if my actions have meaning, but I want them to have!'
'My last breaths... I don't want to regret anything. If there's anything after death, I want to be proud of my death!'
Alonn lost his time sense... Over time he just managed to keep focusing in what he was doing.
Pain, fear, doubts... It was slowly washed away.
His mind entered in a mysterious state...
Day after day, Alonn continued to leave a trail of blood through the cave tunnels, and sometimes the sound of blood dripping from his face could be confused with the sound of the water.
'He has no great motivation except finding his own parents, he doens't have a clear goal... I don't understand how he can have such strong dao heart, from where come this will power?' Long thought while watching Alonn.
Usually, a person with great willpower has a great goal such as revenge, reaching the peak... But Alonn don't. He only wants to find his parents.
Long don't know if he should call the elf stupid or loyal, but... He can't help but feel admiration.
Of couse, he still won't help the elf. He was too old, he saw too many people with strong will power... It's not something really special.
On the third day, Alonn suddenly stopped crawling. He felt his True Qi showing signs of running out again.
The core's energy was also almost consumed.
His body was a complet bloody mess, and some of his hair was gray. If not because his body being much stronger than average...
He looked at his front and saw the fake wall.
Alonn felt his body slowly turning into stone, but he smiled.
'It's my dead end.'
'But at least... I want it to be very brillant.'
He suddenly stoped using his True Qi to produce new vitality, and instead used it to power up his body.
Bang!
The ground below Alonn cracked and he rocketed in the direction of the fake wall.
He doens't know if Long would block his entrance again, but if that's the case... He will make sure to at least make a 'hole' in it with his body.
His body passed pela fake wall without problems and he took another step.
His right arm was already completely turned into stone, and his left was showing signs of it.
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Bang!
Again, Alonn's step marked the ground with cracks.
When he finally saw the lake he was in the mid-air. His left leg was already stone, and his right foot...
Bang!
This was the last step... His foot was already turning into stone.
In the mid-air, Alonn again felt something familiar... This time he was dying for sure.
He knows he won't be able to land with his feet or hands... But he also knows he accomplished what he wanted to.
'I'm here... at least.'
Bang!
His body fell on the lake's shore, but Alonn didn't seems unsatisfied.
"...Just a little push, you can do it!" Long said.
"Long... I won't commit the same mistake again... It was a lie, right?" Alonn asked with a smile.
Long dodged the question and asked, "Don't you regret it? You are really dying, and you can only blame yourself."
"Long... Is it really your name?" Alonn asked, his whole lower body was already stone.
"Why are you asking it?" Long asked.
"Did you really stop reading my mind?"
"..."
"Hahahaha," Alonn laughed, but tears were running down his face.
"I know I don't have any deep regrets except the matter of my parents... My life was really good... But I still want to live. I'm really pathetic," Alonn was afraid again, he could feel the real scent of death this time.
"Don't worry, Long. I will tell death you send your regards..."
"Come on, just die already," Long said with a strange voice.
"...Are you finally feeling emotional? How about helping me?" Alonn asked with a smile, he was already feeling his heart stopping.
"...You know I won't."
"Yeah, I just felt like asking."
"...You always knew, right? That the pearls won't help you," Long suddenly said.
Both was then silent.
Nothing could be heard anymore.
Alonn was dead, truly dead.
Even his soul dissipated.
The pearls didn't kept his soul, the reason? They were trying to kill him from the very beginning.
It was stupid to think they would suddenly help him. It was something meant to kill anyone who merged with them, Long knew it, and even the poor elf had the same thought.
'It's trully a cursed thing,' Long thought and moved his bone hand.
Suddenly, stones from the cave moved towards Alonn's petrified body. They were slowly arranged to form a small coffin, with the elf within it.
'Although you are only an inferior being, I cannot deny my admiration. With time you could have ascended from mortality... I will make sure to remember you, Alonn,' This was the first and last time that Long referred to Alone by name.
'But... Where are the pearls?'
...
Alonn was conscious, he felt he died then it meant there's life after death... Or at least, it was what he first tought.
After some time, something appaered in Alonn's vision.
'This is...'
–May the world bless you, my dear reader...
The hidden note of the last book!
He was shocked, why was he seeing it after dying?
"I don't believed in it until I saw it with my own eyes..." A voice suddenly echoed in Alonn's mind.
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'...Don't tell me it's another zombie.'
"I died, I truly died at that time. There's nothing after death... At least I didn't see anything. But if so, what happened? How did I revive?" The voice echoed again, it seemed to be ignoring Alonn.
'It sounds a little familiar...' Alonn thought.
"Do you think it was god? Maybe. The devil? Perhaps. I don't really know, but what really matters is that I'm alive."
'I remember now!' Alonn suddenly wanted to scream in surprise.
"I won another chance... Or at least, this was what I thought."
"Although I won another life, I didn't won it without a price."
"My dear freedom, my fate... They were messed up by something or someone. Time after time I fought against enemies that I never tought I would fight. I reached the top in strength, rivers of blood were formed wherever I passed, even if I tried to avoid it."
"I finnaly wondered, why did I have such a great luck? Why did my fate seems different than before? What am I doing it for?"
"I finnaly got the answer for those questions... I was doing it for nothing. I never had a firm goal even having the luck and strenght."
"I just wanted to live a calm life... How naive of me. My great luck and strenght would never allow me to live in peace, I should have tought about it, I was a fool."
"Without a goal, fate itself started to guide me. It was just like the wind carrying autumn leaves."
"If at least I had a goal from the very beggining."
'The confession of the anti-hero from 'Survival story of a dead wanderer...' Why am I hearing it? I thought this book was writen by another person.'
"You fool!" Another man's voice, more serious and dignified, echoed in Alonn's mind.
"Did you really thought it would end well?"
"Did you really thought that ending your life would make your suffering stop?"
"You are just a coward! Even if you die, hell will be your only destination! A coward that can't fight, you are useless!" Again, another voice echoed in Alonn's mind.
Time passed, more and more voices sounded... Alonn recognized the speech of the majority, they are all from books he read in the past.
In this strange space where time seemed to be non-existent, the voices were all that Alonn could listen. And the note was all he could see.
'What's the meaning of this? Why am I here?' Alonn asked this question to himself several times...
But fortunately or not, the voices stopped after some time.
The note suddenly started to burn, the temperature in the space seemed to raise and Alonn don't know how he is feeling heat.
Alonn's consciousness was fuzzy, but he was sure he heard an old woman voice, it sounded a little vile.
"May the world bless you, my dear reader. Hahaha"
Bang!
A great bang was the last thing the elf heard in that space before he lost consciousness.
When he finally came to his senses, he found himself in another strange space.
"They are..." Alonn suddenly said surprised and was surprised by his voice.
'Can I speak again?' Alonn was somewhat happy but then looked at two white things floating in endless black space.
'The damn pearls!'
Suddenly, gray chains appeared all over the space. The pearls tried to run, but seemed to be immobilized by the chains.
Without giving Alonn time to react, the chains started to draw the pearls to him.
"Wait... Ah!" Alonn shouted but it was useless.
The pearls and the grey chains started to enter within his body- or his soul, he doens't know what state he was in. He felt both merging with him.
'Ah shit... here we go again,' Alonn tought bitterly.
When the chains and pearls finnaly disappeared by merging with him, he sighed.
"What is next? Don't tell me I still won't revive?" He was pretty convinced he would revive.
He again... lost consciousness.
...
'It's been a week since that fool died, it's so boring... ' Long thought and tried to play a game, but it was boring too.
'Perhaps I should have saved him, at least until I recovered my body.'
"Hmmm?" Long suddenly looked at the lake's bottom with his spirit sense, he felt something strange.
After some time, a figure emerged from the lake.
"I'm back. Death said you are going to see her soon," Alonn, who was naked, said to the zombie with a smile.
'Shit, I forget to repair some part of my soul again?' Long tought and scanned his soul.
"Are you deaf? It seems you refuse to accept reality! I'm back, you fucking asshole! How do you feel being alone all this time?"
'How could it be? I'm not sensing any damage in my soul this time... Could it be... It's a heart demon!?' Long thought a bit scared.
Meanwhile, Alonn didn't mind being naked and started examining himself.
The first notable changes... He has arms and hands again! His legs were also intact!
'Holy tree! I'm not a cripple anymore!' Alonn thought happily, but then noticed another thing.
'Shit! Why am I at the Root Realm? Is my fucking cultivation base gone!? Arrgghhh'
Alonn clenched his teeth in frustation, he doens't understand it. Why did he revive like this? Protagonists usually come back from death way stronger than before. And he is clearly receiving a blessing called plot armor!
Of course, he didn't believe in the shit he was thinking... How could his life be within a book? It's impossible.
But then, he noticed something that might be good.
'Wait... how am I feeling my dantian?' Alonn didn't understand how he could feel his dantian without the root gate opened.
More importantly, he was feeling very clearly... two things within his dantian.
'Although I can't see clearly inside my dantian, I'm pretty sure they are the pearls... Yep, it's probably it.'
Meanwhile, after realizing that what he was seeing was not a problem in his own soul or a heart demon. Long studied Alonn deeply.
"What happened to your soul? I'm not feeling it. Rather... I can't even read your mind anymore," Long couldn't hide his surprise and asked directly.
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