《When Idols became your family》I can't hate him forever, Can I ?
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when i glanced around the living room, everything was darkso i thought maybe i am imagining noises until i saw him walking to my couch, when i looked in jimin's eyes i started getting afraid and i don't know why..! so i moved a little bit back and hugged my knees looking away from him and back to my phone, when i felt a blanket covering my shoulders, and then he pulled the table cliser to my place and sat on it just in front of me. the light coming from the outside eclaired us but mostly him yet it's still dark to my taste, i pulled a little back but i am blocked by the couch and the wall behind it ,instead he pulled me to him and hugged me, i tried pushing him away which made him hug me tighter. I am really scared of him "pleaase jimin let me go" i was about to start tear up and scream when i felt something wet droping on my shoulders, tears ? Oh no !! he is not crying right? "Jim..." , i used all my strength and pushed him back , i looked at him still he has his face down, i cupped his cheek and lifted his face, Holy shit he was really crying hell; the seconds our gazes looked together like an a time bomb he exploded "I am sorry, i am really sorry i don't know what took me to do it that day.. i wasn't really thinking and i thought you will enjoy it, i am sorry for acting like a jerk, please forgive me, i really didn't mean to hurt you, i am at the verge of breaking down, between the hectic schedule and all the event in my life, add to that the stress of living with a fangirl i didn't know how i shoould act with you, i am sorry when i saw you smiling and playing with everyone i thought that if you come to know me more you will hate me and it scared me and in other hand i can't always the sexy boy you show in the fanmeeting, i am not as lovely as them and i am really shy around new people, i was happy to meet you again yet i didn't knew how to react to it,... i just don't know" i could barely understand him with his cracking voice and teary eyes.
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"JIMIN listen please ,It's ok , don't cry please, everyone make mistakes" i should be angry at him right? I should push him or even slap him but how can my heart forgive him this easily in fact i knew within myself i too was wrong, i am supposed to help them not to make them more stressed yet i added to his stress.
"Sorry, sorry.." he mumbled crying more, i pulled him in my arms hugging him and patted his hair " it's ok i swear, i forget everything, it's ok, let's forget about it ok? it never happened, i am sorry i come into your life like that, i know its hard to accept me around even if some act really nice towards me it's not easy to live with a girl" he just tugged on the hoddie i was wearing like an innocent kid
"No, it's my fault i acted like a jerk... i am not good i don't deserve your friendship i am sorry.. you didn't even told anyone.. "
"Chimchim, stop it please, i swear to god , everything is gone and i aleardy forget it hey heywould you hear me out? you know something later one when i get to know you better i will not only accept you but love you more, i will tell you why ? because even though i used to see you guys as idols, the second i decided to work with you, i told myself that i will leave any pre-judgment out, i promised myself to learn about all of you, to get to know you as if you were a stranger and we are starting to became friends. either than your name and your age and the basic information, i don't know anything i started learning, so today i love all of you alot and more than before , you're really like a family who welcomed me in korea, and if it wasn't the case i will not be acting the way i do with you, do you think i will accept to sleep with yoongi two days in row if i didn't trust him enough? of course no..! i really want you to see me like you see the boys like another hyungs not as fangirl or as a woman , i am not asking you to trust me but just try open a little bit to me, you know why uncle hired me as a life coach ? it's not for my skills nor for my non existant knowledge but he knew how much you suffer and he wanted me to be here to share this weight with you, i don't know everything in life and i am not even good at coaching my life but i am learning to depend on people and to ask for help when i need it so please when you feel on the verge come to me will be happy to share your life with you and one more thing rather than going for sex to ease your mind try to talk mor, i am not scolding you and i am not saying you can't sleep with girls but just do it in the right place and when you really want it not just because of anger or stress..." i was still patting his head and no matter how much a person can be angry at someone seeing this little boy crying it can only break your heart .. he didn't add a word just listened to me when i felt his heart calm down i broke the hug and patted the empty place next to me o "Come sit here" , he sat down with his face done, "Chimchim put your head here and i showed my lap" he looked at me with 'are you sure?' , and i nodded one more time and like a little boy he did it i covered him with the blanket he gave me and i played with his hair it was soft and felt nice between my fingers until he slept mumbling "thank you" and soon after, i drifted to sleep too .
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3rd person POV :
I was standing in the hallway, it was dark so no one noticed i was there, meanwhile i heard someone crying, why is jimin like that? what the fuck happened between those two? Wait why is he saying sorry? i listening to them more, he have done something bad to her, i felt my fist clinching, but i tried to control my breath Relax Relax!!, i stood there until they seemed asleep, i covered her with my blankets,{ how can you let him sleep when he hurt you, so so stupid} she was sitting and her hand was on jimin's hair, he seemed comfortable in her laps, i am envious.
I walked to my room, leaving them in their dreamland, i tried to get some sleep but sleep didn't want to visit tonight, my mind was really full with a hundred thoughts..
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