《It's not Paranoia if you're Right!; A Talltale of Nervous Wreck become a Duke in Other World》1.00
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Tingle.
I slapped my left arms. Those cursed mosquitos. There are never a single day of an itch-free day since I moved here. My parents oft told me to put repelling net in the room ventilation and window. Alas, I were one of the personage who suffer from the pathological fear of the unknown. Good for those saber-toothed tiger days I suppose. Freeze and flight keep you on your toes~ However, in this blessed safety of modern heyday, the polite company define those unfortunate *condition* as a pathologic social anxiety. The not-so polite one? Being a wimp.
I dreaded the concept of online shopping. Of not choosing the item by my own hand, of not seing the difference of quality, durability, price/performance ratio, and whatever imagined metric that adult supposed to magically know by the age of eighteen. Fakers. All of them. What with that face, confidently strutting in the sidewalk, driving automobiles or whatnot, having a job, having a medical job, construction job, or whatever when you might kill a person because you do not have all of the information?!! Is that even legal?? Of course it is. Of course it is… The world would halt if it’s not. Stupid brain.
Huft. It’s just. You know. It’s just one quirk of nature, right? I am what I am kind of thing. Let it go. Let it go… Hmm? Oh why not buy it from the store you may ask? On this student town, home depot were more town-centre kind of shop. And I’m not … you know.. “adventurous”? So here I am, stuck with a repelling lotion and fate to reapply them in a blasted 3 a.m.
Bzzz…
Another itch. Tingle. Can a guy get one night of decent sleep? ONE NIGHT?? I mean what’s the supposed reason of your existence, mosquie? Sucking blood, mate, laying eggs, and die?? Oh I suppose you exist as a bane for people like me! Ha! Congrats, then, you are one of the reason I suffer from anger management problem!! Now, little mosquie, EAT THIS!!
CRACK!!
Hmm?
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Hmm??
Wait.
Wait a second.
Wait a darn-tootin second.
Slap do not sound like that. It’s more like, you know…SLAP!! Onomatopeia and all. What’s the hell is happening?
I forced open my eyes.
“HiiSSSSSSSSSS!!”
That’s me. Not a snake. Recoiling from the light of day like a vampire. I don’t know if it’s true in real life though. It’s more like how hollywood portray it. But whatever, rigorous adherance to the classic it’s wasted on a pop culture. But I digre–
Majestic.
Wow.
My sight were taken a back by the horizon of evergreen forest beheld before me.
On what’s it like to be a source of twin-river fork, rise the first light of dawn. Translucent curtain of … fuschia?.. light make a seldom periodic ripple in the firmament as the twinkling star fade away. I lain in what seems to be a king size bed, with mahogany carving of arabian peninsula style of calligraphy that stood on top of… veranda? No… that’s not right.. It’s more like a spacious wall-less, open-style room. A building top, I think. Crack. Oh there’s that weird sound. On my hand, there are a ripple of lightning? Amber lightning with magenta tinge. It swim itself with the surrounding likes a drop of ink dissolved in pure water. Magic.
What an amazing, amazing lucid dream.
Now, I did lucid dream before. It’s what you, internet folk maintain as a must have experience in the “To Do”. I shall not elaborate too much, suffice to say, one of my best SFW experience of lucid dream before is literally bending the very reality before me. Everything and everyone beseech my will. However, lucid dream exist in the middle layer of consciousness. When the forebrain yet to wake up the function of higher cognitive. So losing yourself was one of the common consequence. It’s not like an amnesia. Definitely, not a TV amnesia, where you conveniently forget certain person that mandated by the plot. It’s more like having an Alzheimer. Your reality shift. You often do not remember your own name. Even the concept of name is totally foreign. Is this place where I am now is one of my oftenly visited place? Nope, You don’t event think about that. What do I do yesterday? No clue. And you don’t even know that you forget. It’s horrifying. And somehow? A little bit exciting. You become a less you.
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So I wave my hand, and will a light to be.
Thus, a bright orb of white manifest.
I will it to be brighter.
And brighter it shines.
Like a child that given a new toy. I rolled it, rotate it, make it swirl, swim, twirl, and fly upside and down. It’s so fascinating. I mean it’s one of my dream, to able to do magic. Real magic, not the sleight of hand and illusion of clever trick. And here I am in this amazing lucid dream, managed to do just that.
Now for my next spell, a 6th level conjuration~
O’ the silly light before me, I call upon thee! Upon the reality itself to behest me with the manna that sustains the mortal men!! I call thee by the wisp of grandeur, by the ilk of living, in this very day, that as today, and forever will be, I declare as a day of celebration. Of Joy and Of end of each and every being secret longing! A day, one momentous occasion where all worry were surpressed and armistice bound every living being!!
In the name of Amber, Magenta, and Me.
Heroes Feast!!
What? What do you mean it’s not okay to having a banquet in magical fantasy lucid dream?? Looks, dining out is expensive okay? It’s not all about flying, fireworks, and shooting magical beam to the Demon King or whatever. Everyone have a right to do what they li—STOP JUDGING ME OKAY?
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
~Ping*
Oh, here we are.
Now look at that! Four rows of table of delica—fried chicken? Cola? And what’s this… French Fries?? I mean yes, those are quite something. But I don’t know, I expect it more like a gourmet? You know course meal like in those fancy-smanchy michellin-starred restaurant. I guess, your brain only could regurgitate what you alreadyexperience.
…
…
…Alright, alright. You got me.
I’m a poor shmuck. There. Happy?
Well I guess it’s not bad. I never do one-man banquet gorging. New experience. Cloud and silverlining. Cloud and silverlining. Ah, here’s the drumstick, let’s dip it…. And there’s no sauce. No chilli. No mayo. No condiment of anykind. No nothing…. What kind of sucky heroes feast is this?
“Stupid spell, giving fries with no sauce…”
[INSUFFICIENT MANA]
[INSUFFICIENT PROFICIENCY]
“…”
“.…”
“…..”
“WHAT???”
“…”
“….”
Okay.
Okay?
OKAY??
OKAYOKAYOKAY??!!
BREATHE!
BREATHE. BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT.
DO NOT PANIC.
DO. NOT. PANIC.
Everything is going to be fine, FINE. LIKE VERY, VERY, VEEEERY FINEEEEE. It’s not what YOU think. What YOU think it’s like totes STUPID.
It’s IMPOSSIBLE….
Now, just breathe. BREATHE..
Breathe in… Breathe out… There you go, it’s not so hard isn’t it?
Count to Ten. One. Two… Three… Four… Fi—OKAY WHAT’S THE HELL HAPPENING HERE?
It’s a lucid dream right? Right? Okay what do I do? What DO I Do? Right, right Math Check! It’s hard to do math in lucid dream!
3172 plus 152 equals… THERE I don’t know.. IT’S DEFINITELY NOT 3324… Damn it!!!
What other check? Oh yeah, Pain check. A little pinch…
“Aww!”
It’s hurt…
MEMORY CHECK. YES MEMORY CHECK. I’m a new student at James Seiss University, my last grade in Art Appreciation is… HA! YES! I DON’T REMEMBE— It’s B- isn’t it… Oh god. Well, he (or she or it or they) supposedly do not exist. But, what the hell, Pascal’s wager. OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD.
“You are awake, Your Grace.”
I sharply turned my head.
It’s a man.
He stood 3~5 centimenters above me. On a satin penguin suit; tuxedo with white gloves and all of its whatchacallit. A butler.
“…”
And he call me, what? Your Grace?
“…”
Oh…
Oh… whatever…
It seems I’ve been transmigrated.
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