《Falling Back》3
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It was finally the last day of school. My friends and I were eating at the cafeteria. I thought about my whole freshman year, all about how I liked Sam. And of course the last three months of liking a senior. What I like to call this year is "Figuring myself out and liking two straight guys".
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We were once again at the school gym. The seniors were there and us that were part of the choir. This time I was playing the piano for the graduation song.
While I reminisced about all the small interactions that we had, my friend was looking at me. They knew that I was gay, I came out to them a few days ago. They're response was alright considering they all grew up Catholics. I told them that I liked Jules, and they asked me if I would ever confess. I said I didn't know.
The graduation ceremony finally ended. I saw Jules talking with his friends and family.
Should I really do it?
For some reason, his family left while Jules stayed. When he was finally alone, he didn't head to the gym exit, instead he went to the classrooms.
I finally had the courage, I stood up and followed him. I was just about to reach out and tap him on the shoulder when suddenly someone grabbed my other hand.
"Hey Taylor will you stay for the after party with us?" My choir club mate asked
Jules continued walking and he didn't see me.
"Oh yeah sure, It's our first end of the year party" I answered
"Great! Come on let's go."
I sighed, maybe it was for the better. I wasn't expecting a response or anything of the sort I just needed to say what I had to say. But maybe it was a sign I shouldn't do anything after all.
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Summer
My friend texted me
"You should move on already 🙄"
"But it's hard"
"How can it be?! He doesn't even know you!"
"It's not even about that OK! You wouldn't understand."
"You didn't do anything to make him notice you and you don't know anything about him."
I wasn't able to reply. He was right I barely knew the guy, but I did have feelings for him. Maybe the reason why it was so hard to move on is because I didn't have closure. I didn't know. I really wasn't sure anymore.
My phone sounded again it was another text from my friend.
"Whatever man. Shit happens and life goes on. Get over it."
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