I'm starting to feel dizzy and hazed, and my knees felt like it's going to fucking break at any moment now. So, I decided to sit down on one of the benches near Villa Esmeralda which is my current checkpoint. While taking a break, I took my time to observe the place. Suddenly, I just realized that I've been walking for almost thirty-minutes now and I was walking beside the road that I always take to go into school every single day since we moved to our new house. Well, a house that we rent actually. We once have a house that we can call our own. I was so young back then when we were still living in this neighborhood near the river. My parents had the money to actually build a house for our family.

I was the only child back in those days. I was only four or five when we had that house. It was a simple one, a very simple one. My mom also had a small business and I always help her to go shopping for items to sell. We had a good life there, you know? Many Christmas' has passed, New Year, Birthdays, and all the happy moments that I can barely remember these days. I had my whole childhood in that house, I even remember this very huge tree beside our house, a creepy one. I still remember some stuff that my childhood friend- Antonette - and I do whenever our parents are doing some gossips in one particular house. Good Old Antonette, she's the only friend I knew when I was young, and we played a lot, especially every afternoon, after we slept, we'll go play tag, pretend-cooking, and all that childish kinds of stuff. I almost thought that we will be best friends until we grew up but, she turned into something different when we became teenagers. She... She became one of those teens that the society considered as the 'wild-ones'. It's a bit corny but, that is what she is now. One of those cool and famous kids in high school. My childhood, those were the days that I wished that lasted a little bit longer. A house that we own, a best friend to play with, and more memories to come- fuck, I'm being sentimental right now. I'm so corny.

I thought about taking a picture of me and then send it to Jon while I rest, but then, a white van- that kind of long white van that can accumulate seventeen? I don't know. Well, the problem is, it stopped just across the road, in front of me. It just stopped there and did nothing- or it was just 'waiting'. Then, I remember that some shitty people use this kind of vehicle for kidnapping people even in broad daylight. I was startled by what I've just realized so, I started walking again. That shit scared the hell out of me. Boy! If I must tell you, there's a lot of shitty things happens here in our country. Kidnapping people, so they could sell their organs, that idea itself was terrifying. Just imagine when you were actually kidnapped?

I felt unsatisfied with my rest back in Villa Esmeralda so, I stopped in a school near it and sat on one of those long thick-metal seats where parents wait for their kids after school. But today, there was only me and there were kids from a far distance who is also sitting on the metal seats. They were far from me though, so, their noises won't bother me that much. If there's one thing that is weird about me, it's doubting about some stupid ideas. I was just thinking, 'what if that van was actually one of those 'van' and I let myself be taken by whoever the fuck who will kidnap me?' It might be fun, isn't it? Perhaps, escaping from those sons of bitches could be a good challenge for me? Something new? Maybe, it's something that I really want? See, this walk-trip was already a cheap thrill for me at the moment, and it felt really odd for me to crave more of these thrills in life. I hate how fucking bored I am- how bored my lifestyle is. I just hate it, I really do.

I started walking again and I walked passed those kids I was talking about a while ago. They were laughing about something, a joke, I guess, because, I noticed one of them was just smiling while the rest of them was laughing. Maybe, that smiling kid told a joke and the joke wasn't that funny for him anymore because he's the one who made it and he told his friends about it and then they laughed. I somehow relate to that scene I've just seen, especially to that kid who wears a cheeky smile on his face. I see myself on him... I really do. I can say that, when I was at his age, I also have a cheerful circle of friends and I always make them laugh about some stupid jokes or some dumb thing I did. I remember being funny as a kid and how we're just laughing from the simplest thing in life. God knows how I wanted to have a seat with them and chat with them, laugh with them- I can really use a company at this moment. I just wished that Jon was with me now, or anyone, just to talk to while walking on this road that seems to be endless.