Running away would be really difficult. I didn’t know geography well but I knew Shift was in the middle of a northern Canadian forest. I’d never make it to a city before they found me. I’d have to wait and when I was sent on a mission I’d leave. I’d run and never look back. So for now I just had to pretend everything is normal. I spent another two weeks in the infirmary recovering from the gunshot would. Reece, Melodie, Brayden and Mackie came to visit a lot. All with different motives. Melodie often came wanting to gossip. She filled me in on everything that was happening around Shift. Brayden often came looking for help with his studies. I didn’t mind though, I was missing so much class; it was helping me keep up. I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait before I could run. Keeping up with my classes was normal. Mackie only came by for short visits checking to see if everything was okay. Her visits always left me wanting to know more. I could sense that there was stuff she wanted to tell me, but she never came with out her mind band so I didn’t know what it was.

I enjoyed Reese’s visits the most. I liked talking with him. He had such a youthful innocence about him that always cheered me up. Sometimes we talked about school or our pasts. Reese also came from a foster home; most of us did in fact. He didn’t remember anything before the homes either. Other times I helped him with his studies too. He was three years behind me so It was all very easy for me to help with. He just felt so familiar. He was the only person I decided to say anything to about their vitamins. I couldn’t tell him much I just said it was a lie and to stop taking them with breakfast. He trusted me. I hadn’t been able to stop taking them; they had them administered along with the pain killers and fast healing medicines. The second day off the vitamins Reese came to me crying. I had never seen anyone cry before. It was very unnerving, he tried to tell me how he was feeling. He said everything felt stronger that all this time he had been lonely and sad and he was only feeling everything now, feeling everything at once. I held him as he cried. Just me and him alone in my hospital room. I really wanted to take his pain away. I hated seeing him this sad, this broken. “Maybe you should start taking them again” I suggested. “No, they are a lie” he was adamant.

After that day he got better, he was smiling a lot and laughing. His black eyes were filled with life. I think for the first time in the twelve years he had been here he was happy. He told me it was the most amazing thing. No matter how much he tried to explain he said I’d never understand till I felt it for myself. “I’ve started to notice people, girls in my classes. I think I like Melodie” he told me one day. he laughed nervously. I hugged him “you’re going to feel it, you’re going to know love.” I responded, I couldn’t wait till I was out of the infirmary and could feel what he was.

Once I did get out I immediately stopped taking the vitamins, hiding them in my pocket instead of swallowing them. I went through the same stages as Reese. I cried a lot the first few days all the feelings were just so overwhelming. It’s like we lived in a thick fog and never knew it. We called it joy, sadness, anger but what we felt was just the tip of it. Everything rushed through me I didn’t know how to control it. After time it was easier, I began to better understand my emotions. Then one night I had a dream. It surprised me. Brayden was in it, we were alone and he was touching me and kissing me. I woke up in a sweat, smiling in the dark. I knew then that I would fall in love someday. Not Brayden, I was leaving soon. It couldn’t be Brayden.

I kept thinking about my dream that day. I couldn’t look at him. I kept thinking about where he had touched me. I wanted him to really kiss me like that. He tapped my arm at lunch “Lu, are you okay? You’re acting funny” his touch was warm. It made me happy but also terrified me so much, everything was so new. I want Brayden to feel the same way. I wanted him to want me back. I thought about telling him to stop taking the vitamins but changed my mind. Maybe someday when I have fully escaped Shift I could come back and help everyone else. For now I needed to keep a low profile telling Brayden then whoever he told, to many people would be awake. They would notice and I would lose my chance to escape. I had to leave him blissfully in the dark.

My chance did come up three weeks after I got out of the infirmary. It was a simple affirmation mission. A two year old girl in a city only three hours from Shift. I thought maybe it was to close but decided it was now or never. I might not get another mission for the next few months. I couldn’t wait that long. This would be a solo mission there was no way I would be able to take Reese with me. That really upset me I had been wishing for a way we could both be free. He was my best friend I hated the idea of leaving him behind to these people. Would he be okay all alone? I worried about Reese all night dreaming of him being alone in a room of zombies drowning in lifeless bodies. That’s what it felt like since awakening, like we were the only ones alive. I talked to Reese about it. He told me to go, that he would be alright and that on his next mission he too would run away and that he would search for me. I told him I loved him that even though we had only known each other for five weeks he was the best friend I had ever had. “I’ll never forget you” I said. “Thank you Luna, if I had never met you I’d still be one of them. You saved me, I’ll find you. I promise.” I still hated having to leave Reese behind. I wouldn’t be able to watch out for him anymore. We wouldn’t be able to find each other out there without making our location vulnerable to Shift to find us. But he will get out and he will be okay and that’s what really mattered after all. We had to get out, to be free.

This mission I left Shift at four and was driven by a man named Mr. Clarke. I had worked with him many times before he was very obedient, following every rule set by Shift. I had to make sure he didn’t suspect anything different until I was able to escape. I went over the plan in my head again and again as he drove to the location. I pretended to read my book as usual. First Mr. Clarke would drive past the house pointing it out to me. He would then drop me off a block over. I would lurk back to the house and instead of listening outside the child’s bedroom for 2 hours I was going to run. Run as fast as I could. The car slowed and I realized we were passing the house. Mr. Clarke pointed to a small yellow house in a quiet neighborhood. There was a grey cat sitting on the front steps and pink flowers in front of the windows. A swing hung from the maple tree in the front yard and a child’s tricycle was left out in the drive way. Lights flickered from the living room window. They wanted me to help them take a child away from all this. I felt anger burn in my chest as the car drove a couple minutes more before pulling over to the curb. Mr. Clarke looked back at me. I grabbed my bag. I didn’t have much in it. I snuck a bottle of water and some cookies from lunch time. I confirmed the time on my watch to him and agreed to be back in exactly two hours. I then stepped out into the crisp air. It was Autumn in Canada, the air was cool and the trees full of colour. I walked calmly in the direction Mr. Clarke expected keeping my cold hands shoved into my black jacket and kept my head down not to attract the attention of any civilians.

As I rounded the corner of Tesla St. I saw the child’s house. I ran now that Mr. Clarke couldn’t see me. I ran right past the little yellow house and kept running. My lungs heaving. I had two hours to get as far away as possible before anyone realized I was gone. As I ran I started disconnecting the head set and the watch. I dropped everything on the side walk. I didn’t want any electronics they might use to follow me. I turned down a busier street and slowed to a fast walk. I kept walking for a long time. It was still only around eight and the town was still awake. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I had no money and I didn’t know who I could trust. I had to get away from this city, away from where Shift would look for me. I need to find somewhere to hide for the night. Once the streets emptied I will be easier to find. Then they’ll start looking in the obvious places. I kept walking the city had a few bars on this street. All the store fronts were closed up now. There was a man on the sidewalk begging for money. He looked so cold I sat down beside him hoping to rest where no one will pay any attention to me. My throat is dry from running. “Hello ma’am” the homeless man looks to me, I jump. I’m clearly more afraid than I realized. “woah it’s okay miss. I won’t hurt you.” he says. “Hello” I respond. I pull out my cookies and offer him one. Sheepishly he took one with a quick thank you. I nibble on mine contemplating my next move. I can’t stay here long. “Hey, I’m trying to get away from. Ah. A boyfriend do you know anywhere I can hide. I mean go? I don't have any money.” I figured if someone knows this city it’ll be this man. “There’s a woman’s shelter on 5th. They're good miss, they’ll help you.” He pointed down the street “it’s two blocks that way on the left.” “Thanks” I get up and start walking in the direction he pointed. I wrapped my arms around myself. It’s cold and it started to rain. The streets have already began to empty. I need to get to the shelter fast. He’s going to realize any time now I’m not where I am supposed to be. By the time I get to the corner of 5th avenue the rain is coming down hard dripping form my hair down my back. There is a small sign there on the corner house that reads Northern Lights Women’s Shelter. I walk up the steps and see another small sign that says please ring bell. I push the button and wait. A sliding window on the door opens and a young woman peers out “Hello?”

“Yes, Hello, I was told you might be able to help me?” my voice shook from the chill. She closed the window and unlocked the door. Moving to the side she let me in. She had big brown eyes and black curly hair put up in a messy bun. She smiled a warm smile as I stepped in from the rain. She locked the front door behind me. “It’s for our safety” she said looking to the lock. “Hi I’m Emily how can we help you tonight?” she lead me to the front room which has two desks with chairs on both sides. One desk was empty the other one had another woman, older in her late sixties perhaps. She looked up from her desk where she was reading some papers. “Good evening” she smiled at me. I noticed a name plate sitting on her desk that read Tracey. The other desk had a name plate for Emily. Emily sat down behind her desk motioning for me to have a seat as well.

“Hi, my name is..” I probably shouldn’t tell them my real name Shift had a lot of connections. “Laura” I chose a name from an old book I had read a few times. “I’m hiding from my boyfriend, he won’t let me leave. If he finds me he might kill me.” I tried to act as emotional as possible getting the lie to be believed. It wasn’t that much of a lie. I didn’t know what Shift would do if they found me. Emily nodded and gave me a small smile etching dimples into her soft brown cheeks. “We do have one bed available; can you tell us his name?” I hesitated trying to think up another name “Shawn Henry, I need to get out of the city.” she was very serious now. “It’s okay Laura, you’re safe here, no one is allowed in. No one will know you are here.” This did comfort me a little at least tonight I had a place to sleep. “Can you help me get out of the city?” Emily looked over to the other woman. “It’s not really in our funding” she was frowning. “Please you don’t understand I have to get to any other city.” I begged “He knows I’m here and he won’t stop looking for me, he will hurt anyone to get to me he’s psycho.” I was beginning to panic. I know they will have started looking for me already.

“Look” Emily said “It’s okay. Stay here tonight, tomorrow is Friday, I’m going back to my folks place for the weekend. It’s about three hours south of here I’ll take you with me and get you set up in a shelter there.” I was so relieved I started to cry. Damn all these emotions were still hard to control sometimes. “Thank you” “Now, now, it’s going to be okay, Tracey will take you upstairs to your bed, she’ll give you a dry pair of pajamas and help get you sorted. I’m going to call a few shelters and see if any beds are available for tomorrow night” I stood up thanking her again and followed Tracey up the old wooden stair case. The hallway was dark, this was an old house turned into a small shelter. She stopped at a closet and removed a towel and some pyjamas. “How would you like to take a nice warm bath?” she asked me. “That sounds great”. She led me to another door, knocked and then opened the door. There were 2 bunk beds, a painted picture of a sunflower on the wall and white curtains on the window. There was a young woman with her child on the first bottom bunk. She was reading to him as he sucked his thumb. Another woman above them was sitting with her legs hanging off the bunk bed chatting to the two children on the top bunk on the other side of the room. The fourth bed, the bottom bunk had its bedding folded up on the end of the bed. This reminded me of Shift and made me think of Reese. He would be getting ready for bed now. “Hello ladies” Tracey said in a deep husky voice. “This is Laura she is going to be your roommate tonight, Laura this bunk here is yours” she gestured to the empty one. “You can hang up your clothes above the heater to dry, if you need anything me and Emily will be down at the front desk all night. The shower is at the end of the hall there’s new tooth brushes and razors in there if you need one.” She smiled and then left the room.

I felt my cheeks get hot as the women and children looked at me. I dropped my bag to the ground by my bed and headed toward the bathroom. It felt nice to peel the cold wet clothes off of me. I don’t remember the last time I was in a bath. Shift’s is a large room where all the girls shower together. I filled the tub with hot water. My cold skin burned from the touch of the water. I laid my head back against the tub and closed my eyes. My stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten since lunch in order to leave for this mission and now I was very hungry. I rested for another ten minutes before I washed and returned to my room. I hung up my wet clothes. I read my book until I was able to fall asleep. It wasn’t a sound sleep however, I was listening for any sound that meant I would be caught.

For the first time in fourteen years I didn’t wake up to the 6am buzzer. I woke up to children giggling as they played with toy cars on the floor between the bunks. They saw me wake up. The boy, the older one spoke first “Hi I’m Matthew I’m six” “Hi Matthew I’m Lun.. Laura” “this is my sister Sarah she’s four” “hi Sarah” I said smiling at her. “Matthew, Sarah leave the poor girl alone, she just woke up!” their mom said from the open doorway. They jumped “come on down kids Karen has breakfast ready in the kitchen.” they giggled and went to their mother’s side. “Excuse me; do you know what time it is?” I asked her. “Yeah” she looked at her phone “It’s 9:30, Karen only has breakfast out until 10:30 so you should get down there as well, she's a great cook.” The woman smiled. She had long black hair like mine; she looked like me, the darker skin and black eyes, straight black hair. I didn’t see many girls at Shift who looked like me. “Thanks” I said back.

I quickly went down stairs, I was starving I could smell breakfast coming from the kitchen. At the back of the house I found a big open kitchen filled with around five women and a dining room off the kitchen with more women and children. “Good morning” a jolly looking red headed woman waved to me. “I’m Karen, you must be Laura, Tracey and Emily are gone home for the day, Emily said she would be back for you this afternoon. go in and join the rest at the table for breakfast” I just nodded and walked into the dining room. This room was filled with chatting. I sat next to a woman. I could see her face was badly bruised and her wrist was in a cast. “Good morning” I said to her, she just grunted got up and left. I filled my plate with pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon and poured myself a cup of orange juice and dug in.

I helped clean up after breakfast before going downstairs into the basement where everyone was convened. I noticed all the windows were blocked with curtains. I played with the children, even read a story to them. It was easier than trying to talk with the adults. I didn’t have to make up lies about my life before this place. I started to get impatient waiting for Emily. I wanted to put as much distance between me and Shift as possible. I didn’t know how long they would look for me. Finally after one Emily came down stairs and asked if I was ready to go. I ran upstairs grabbed my back pack and met her at the car. It was an old green car but she had the heat on and I was excited to go.