《Numba Cruncha》19: NumbaCruncha is unveiled

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19: NumbaCruncha is Unveiled

After a long discussion outside on the balcony of New Oasis, in case Fabien had installed spyware inside, they finalised their plan; agreeing that despite being neither fair nor just, it was the only solution to the problem and therefore the right thing to do.

Back in their apartment with consciences subdued but not suppressed, the vidcom was flashing.

‘You’re needed!’ Fabien snapped. ‘Now! In the conference room!’

‘What’s got him in a tizz,’ Uretep wondered nervously. ‘You don’t think they’ve been monitoring us?’

‘I've seen no evidence. It’s unlikely. Melvyn must have a propaganda problem.’

Two minutes later, respectfully apprehensive, they stood humbly in front of their thirteen bosses.

‘Where have you been?’ Ishbel snapped.

‘We went back to New Oasis to make sure we hadn’t missed anything.’

‘And stayed the night! Where?’

‘The same place as last time; in that closet at the end of the corridor.’

‘Why stay the night? You were told we might need you!’

‘Sorry, Ishbel. The air’s so much cleaner there we feel better able to think and review everything to make sure we haven’t forgotten anything.’

‘And had you?’

‘No. We’re certain it’s all going according to plan.’

The Chief Mage compressed her lips, squinted at her protégés as if wondering how to continue, then with a vague wave of the hand told them Augur had a few questions.

As if taken by surprise, the Transport Mage cleared his throat and in a voice that failed to hide his agitation, asked if they were satisfied with NumbaCruncha.

‘Totally,’ Peteru replied. ‘I told you a few days ago, it’s all ready to go.’

Augur licked his lips uncertainly. ‘As you know, transport’s my domain. I have to be certain everyone will be transported without accident to New Oasis. So as soon as you confirm it is totally safe, I’ll give the order for the mats, terminals and signage, plus the worker robots that will place them where you recommended, to be taken over by robot transporter. If anything goes wrong it’ll be your fault.’

‘We accept that responsibility, Augur.’

The Transport Chief remained nervous. ‘So… once more in front of witnesses… you don’t foresee any problems in using NumbaCruncha to transport everyone over there?’

‘None whatever. We’ve been back and forth several times and you all visited and suffered no ill effects. I’m happy to lay our reputation the line and guarantee we can transfer the entire population of Oasis to the new city in about ten minutes maximum.’

‘You have no reputation to place on any line!’ Xanthippe snapped. ‘If anything goes wrong you won’t have heads either!’

‘I apologise, Xanthippe, for my hubris.’

‘Where exactly are the mats and terminals going to be placed?’ Job interrupted. ‘I hope you’ve remembered to put them in all the work areas!’

‘In the identical spots they are here, Job. It wouldn’t surprise me if no one realises they’ve changed cities until they smell the air and see how fresh and clean everything is.’

‘Ah yes... the air. We have a problem.’

‘Several problems,’ Justinian added. ‘I’ve done my best, but the health of everyone is deteriorating.’

‘Not to mention their behaviour,’ Fabien snapped. ‘ For goodness sake everyone, can’t we stop this charade and cut to the chase?’

Mumbles of agreement.

‘What it boils down to,’ Ishbel said in an uncharacteristically diffident tone, ‘is that we’re suddenly in deep shit and have to shift everyone within the next couple of days; tomorrow if possible. There’s been rioting between men and women. I’m worried about vandalism as curiosity mounts over the implants and mats. Someone is spreading rumours about imminent disasters. Cracks have been detected in the roof after last year’s tremendous storms and earthquake. We’re in danger of having the whole thing collapse. Energy production is failing to maintain a stable temperature. We’re overheating, running out of treated water and there’ve been outbreaks of respiratory disease. Do we have to test the New Oasis mats and terminals first? We didn’t want to do it without asking you in case it would interfere with the demonstration that’s been put forward to this afternoon.’

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‘No problem at all. As soon as you like will be fine for the big exodus. The mats were all tested exhaustively during manufacture. Augur’s Robots should be able to complete the installation over there by tomorrow morning, so you can send the signal to start work now if you like, Augur.’

Thank you!’ Augur sneered. ‘ I don’t need your permission!’

‘Sorry, Augur,’ Uretep said in suitably penitent tones, bowing his head to conceal an involuntary sneer of contempt.

‘Your job is to ensure the Emperor and Empress are ready in two hours to give the speech, demonstrate NumbaCruncha, fuck the Empress, and convince everyone of the desirability and safety of the new transport device.’

‘They will do that, Ishbel. Of that I am certain. Have Alger and Begum been instructed in the use of NumbaCruncha, so they’re ready for their demonstration?’

‘They’ve been told they’re going to demonstrate the new health system,’ Ishbel said with an unsavoury smile.

‘We didn’t think they’d be able to cope with knowing they were required to screw each other while naked in front of the entire population, every pimple projected onto a dozen giant screens,’ Ethel added with an equally malicious smile. ‘Once they’re securely on stage they can like it or lump it.’

‘If they’re recalcitrant, a prod up their orifices with an electric probe will change their minds,’ Xanthippe snarled. ‘It’s the education tool par excellence, in my experience.’

‘Pull your claws in, girls,’ Alice simpered. Begum can’t help being such a prissy cow.’

Job sighed, as if on the brink of exhaustion. ‘I’ve had a second platform built, much nearer the crowds, to receive the Royal Couple and the Aristocrats when they transport. The big screen close-ups and the novelty and excitement of watching their betters having an orgy should be enough to distract everyone from the emergencies we’re facing—at least until they’re transported tomorrow to New Oasis.’

‘Well! Off you go you two!’ Ishbel waved fat fingers vaguely. ‘You’ve one hundred and twenty minutes to get their Royal Highnesses and their guards ready and down to their usual seats in the Arena.

Calisto and Philo were overjoyed to see their friends, and during a very ordinary lunch were excited at the plans.

‘I can’t wait to feel so sexy again,’ Calisto admitted.

‘Me too,’ Philo added. ‘Does this mean we can use the mats whenever we want?’

‘Yes, you can screw yourselves silly, if that’s what makes you happy.’ Uretep’s ironic tone failed to register.

‘It’s all I want to do,’ Calisto shouted.

‘Me too,’ Philo laughed.

‘But we thought you guys had been enjoying sex for years?’

‘We cuddled and stuff, but it was hard to get a stiff that stayed up. Nothing in my life prepared me for what happened after using that thing. I can’t wait!’

Uretep and Peteru exchanged glances of relief. Calisto was a thoroughly nice guy, but nice wasn’t enough to change their minds.

Empress Agnes and her bodyguard were as excited as Calisto, and equally impatient to again experience the ecstasy of a NumbaCruncha assisted orgasm. All inhibitions gone, they relished the idea of an exhibition to prove their prowess to their subjects. Agnes was especially pleased that her bodyguard would be allowed to follow her once Calisto had shot his bolt.

It took over an hour to get the entire population seated in the vast Arena, and the noise was deafening as everyone expounded their theory on why they'd all been summoned to assemble on a day and at a time when they were usually hard at work. Equally interesting was the giant new stage and the extra video screens. Rumours of an impending calamity had just begun to circulate when the tinkle of amplified bells signalled the arrival of the Mages who filed onto their elaborately decorated balcony above and behind the stages. Powerful spotlights caught every facet of the magnificent jewels ornamenting their cloaks. Large cowls cast deep shadows over their faces.

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Ishbel stood and raised her hand. The silence was palpable. No one felt the slightest urge to giggle. Everyone trembled in fear.

‘Citizens of Oasis. I bring you good news from gods Domino and Domina. They are very pleased with you all. You have served them well, and now it is time for your reward.’ She stopped and the air was filled with the sound of lightly stamping feet to mark excited approval.

‘You have all been wondering about the small mats and screens dotted everywhere in Oasis. Well, now I can reveal to you that they are the gift of Domino and Domina. They are a new means of transport to replace the negrav chutes. You will enjoy instant transport instead of wasting time in queues. Even better than that, the Gods have decided you have earned the right to greater sensitivity of feelings; to experience the heights of passion that for so long have been denied you. From the moment you leave this assembly, Domino and Domina insist that you never again wear any clothing. Instead of shame, you must all feel pride in your beautiful bodies and enjoy the thrill of sexual congress.’

Ishbel paused to allow her audience to murmur their incomprehension.

‘If you obey the gods in this; if they see that you all take delight in the pleasures of your bodies; then they will give us a totally new Oasis in which everything is working even better than here.’

Cheers erupted, although clearly they still had little idea of what she was talking about.

‘And now, to reinforce what I have just told you, and to demonstrate the new method of transport, I ask the Emperor to speak.’

Even louder cheers burst forth as Calisto and Agnes in their splendid robes and glittering crowns, stood and accepted the accolades.

A drum roll. Hushed expectation. Calisto’s speech was impeccable. His rich voice reverberated, calmed, and was far more convincing than Ishbel’s strident hectoring. Clearly, he was loved and admired and the Vassals at least would follow him wherever he went. Agnes received a similar reception when she waved towards all the Freemen. Only the tiny group of Aristocrats appeared unmoved.

When the applause died, the Royal couple stepped onto enseemats, waved again, whispered into a terminal identical to the ones dotted everywhere, touched their wrists and…

A hundred metres away on the other side of the Arena, spotlights pulsed drawing everyone’s attention to a floodlit stage on which their naked Emperor and Empress were already clawing at each other, grunting and caressing as if in conflict.

No one knew where to look. Most women fixed their eyes on the engorged penis of their Emperor; most men stared wide-eyed at the Empress’s breasts and swollen vulva. A spontaneous cheer erupted when Calisto tossed his wife onto her back, hoisted her legs over his shoulders and thrust himself into her. All twenty-five cameras were perfectly focussed. Not an inch of flesh, not a muscular spasm, not a single thrust and withdrawal was missed. In his passion, the Emperor’s lance popped out. Accompanied by cheers of encouragement he thrust it back while microphones picked up every grunt, squeal of delight and cry of ecstasy as he arched, ejaculated, withdrew and took a bow, leaving his wife moaning for more. Two seconds later her bodyguard arrived and plunged repeatedly until even his mistress was satisfied.

The smiling trio then stood at the rear of the stage while the lights picked up Alger and Begum standing on the spot where the Emperor had recently given his speech. Both Aristocrats seemed to be protesting, but there was no sound.

‘And now,’ bellowed Ishbel, ‘to prove even Aristocrats will be using the new transport and enjoying the delights of sex, Alger and Begum will transport.’

Wide eyed with shock. The two terrified Aristocratic engineers stood on the mats, whispered, touched wrists, and instantly appeared on the stage directly in front of the Emperor. Unlike him, they took several seconds to realise what had happened, staring at each other’s nudity before running fingers across bald scalps. In what appeared to be amused delight they gazed down at hairless pubes and a very respectable erection in Alger’s case—a flowering vulva in Begum’s, before throwing convention and modesty to the winds. Growling like a couple of alley cats, clawing and scratching until Alger got Begum on her knees, back a deep curve, erstwhile private parts offered to the zooming cameras. Thrusting himself into the gash, he rode his partner until both achieved a corybantic, cacophonous orgasm.

Ishbel stood and silenced the crowd.

‘Now, my good and faithful subjects, it is your turn to experience the joys of sex and nudity. You have all been told to remember the number of the mat in or nearest to your apartment. When I say, ‘GO’, I want you to whisper that number into the little terminal on the armrest of your seat, then lightly touch the silver implant in your wrist. Because you are sitting on enseemats, the correct name for the little mats that have been placed everywhere in Oasis, you will be instantly transported home. On arrival, get off the mats quickly in case others also want to go there.

After you have all enjoyed yourselves, I want you to gather in Central Park. You will find directions on the screens beside every mat. Do not use the negrav chutes—they will be turned off for the afternoon. Use your new means of instant transport! When you get to the park, do whatever you feel like doing. If you do exactly as the Gods have demanded, in a few days you will all be transferring to New Oasis—the gift of the gods. Are you ready?’

‘YES!’

‘GO!’

Within a few seconds a low whistle of air raced in to replace the humans, and the Arena was empty.

The Mages turned to Uretep and Peteru with strained faces.

‘What’s the matter?’ Peteru asked, suddenly nervous. ‘Was something not right?’

‘We will know that,’ Fabien said quietly, ‘when we are sure everyone is in their rooms screwing, not floating somewhere out in space. I’m going to the surveillance chamber.’

‘Can we come?’

‘Yes.’

‘ What’s the number?’

‘9999.’ He touched his wrist and disappeared.

Two minutes later, thirteen Mages and two probationers were scanning banks of monitors, all showing copulating couples in various stages of rapture. No red lights blinked, indicating that every inhabitant of the city had been observed.

The collective sigh roused the dust on Fabien’s desk.

‘I guess we should get rid of all clothes in the Arena so they don’t interfere with transfers tomorrow,’ Augur suggested. ‘Should I shut down the negrav chutes permanently?’

‘Not till tomorrow. I have to visit a few Aristocrats to make sure the sound system’s all set up for the Exodus, and I don’t want to arrive there naked,’ Melvyn sniffed.

‘Watching those idiots screwing on stage has given me an urge,’ Fabien growled. ‘I need a fuck. Come here you!’ He grabbed hold of Uretep’s arm and, twisting it violently, forced him to his knees.

Before Peteru could intervene to prevent the rape, a fist slammed into the side of the Chief Enforcer’s head, knocking him to the ground where he lay, gazing up stupidly.

‘If you think I’m going to let you screw me after dipping your wick in a black arse hole, you’ve another think coming,’ Xanthippe snarled, pinning Fabien down, squatting and grinding herself against his face.

Spluttering and laughing in delight, Fabien wrapped his arms round Xanthippe’s hips and sat up, face still buried in her groin. To the raucous accompaniment of his fellow Mages’ cheers, he noisily sucked, chewed and licked while shy little Alice dropped to her knees and took most of his hefty manhood into her mouth.

Taking advantage of the stinking, stomach-churning distraction, Peteru and Uretep slipped away, found the nearest enseemat, and disappeared.

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