Damn, how did it turn out this way? Christina lifted her head and waited for the makeup artist to finish.

Rather than staring out a hotel room window she now faced a mirror in a bus. Her classmates were doing high school student things, and she was doing work. It didn’t matter all that much. Missing out on Nara was the big deal, but the two day excursion to Osaka was something she could do without. Well, the high school student part would have been fun, but she had seen Osaka to death during her previous life. Anyone doing major business in Japan had.

So why did she sit here swearing? Because she put a lot of her classmates in a pickle, that’s why. Her entire crew, including two very famous and very popular male models arrived just when the gang were about to leave a public toilet. She, being the moron she sometimes was, sent a Line message about the importance of the event. “Stuck at the toilet,” her future Nobel prize winning entry read. A wonder of clarity which she shared over her phone just as she was forced to turn it off and get working.

I’m the empress of idiots. She sighed as she remembered the faces of her classmates when they understood that the price for the autographs they had gained was missing their bus for Nara. And then I just vanished from their sight. Gods I’m the queen of responsibility not taken. That was worth another deep sigh.

“Ageruman-san, please don’t move!”

And now I’m making work difficult for makeup. She bit her teeth together and did as told.

The shoot took less time than she had feared but more than she hoped for. That was yet another day she had to spend without Ryu, and Christina started to understand there was more than one reason she spent most of her previous adult life without anything but temporary relationships.

I’ll redo this life in a better way, she decided over a delicious meal with a staff colleague and two men in power who couldn’t decide whether they wanted to bed or make money out of her. That Ryu would stay with her for the rest of her life was unlikely, but she didn’t have to sabotage that remote possibility the way she had done with Ulf.

Why did you want me to pursue this? She wondered; a thought aimed at her ex. Ah, that’s not it, she realised. You wanted me to pursue whatever I saw as important for myself. Idiot man! You should have been more selfish, if not for yourself then for me. Christina hid her smirk behind a fork and pretended to listen to whatever one of the men said.

If Ulf hadn’t been able to, then she needed to treat Ryu better. There was a life’s worth of experience between the two men she had fallen in love with here in Japan. We’re supposed to be sharing field trip as high schoolers and here I am doing work. She’d be doing work, more work and even more work. If she continued like this her life would vanish under an avalanche of work while she excused letting it slip through her fingers with the never ending demand for more work.

“Gentlemen, sensei, I have some sleeping to catch up with and a boyfriend to call,” Christina said as soon as the dinner turned from main course to desserts.

Her superior sent her a sour glare. Letting one of the two men take her to his hotel room would have sold another contract, but Christina refused to let herself be used in that way. Clearly stating there was a boyfriend should put a stop to any attempts in that direction.

She put fork and knife on her table and made to rise.

“Ageruman-san, please accompany us some more,” one of the men said, and Christina saw how he wanted her body more than the money she represented. Early in her previous life it would have made her feel sick, but now she knew what made men tick.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. The Wakayamas are a little old fashioned, and a late call would look bad,” she said. Hinting at old fashioned usually carried the connotation of powerful in Japan, and she wanted to make certain something bad didn’t happen to Ryu. The last year had seen too many bad things happening to people she cared for.

“Please leave her be. You’re only young once,” the other man said to his business partner. “Ageruman-san, it’s been a pleasure having you part of our promotion. I hope to see more of you,” he added, and Christina understood he chose the money over spending a night with her.

By her side her superior made a happier face. So I’m of the hook this time. There would be other times, more dangerous times, but right now she had the evening for herself without any repercussions.

“Gentlemen, it’s been my pleasure.” She turned and bowed to the happily beaming staff member. “I’ll be ready for tomorrow’s morning shoot.” That should work as a reminder that after lunch she was supposed to rejoin her class and once more become a high school student.

“Is he any good,” the first man asked with a sullen voice tinged by just a little too much alcohol.

“He’s the best,” Christina said. “I’ve never been this much in love in my entire life,” she added. That was a lie. She had, twice. Her first love and Ulf, but here and now she was supposed to be seventeen with an innocent lack of experience. For the first time in forever she forced her mind to, not Ulf but the awkward boy she had fallen in love with an eternity ago. Those memories brought a slight blush to her face, and she hoped it was enough to satisfy the three persent at their table.

Christina left the table and went for her room. She really did have some catching up to do in the sleeping department, but first she planned to make good on her decision to spend some time listening to Ryu’s voice.

***

Kinoshita Dai looked at the photo once more. One of the best he had taken during his entire career, during both of his careers.

Funny. We couldn’t use it the promotion, and then this.

“I saw you,” it read. From last summer during the Odaiba shoot, from the moment when Kuritina lost herself in memories and regrets, and also a new hope for her future.

He’d cut away the swim suit to focus on the woman, and he got permission to use the result for a photo competition. Her face, hair, neck and shoulders. Nothing more, and yet the very definition of youth lost. The bittersweet first steps into adulthood. Just Kuritina Ageruman. Of the model there was nothing left, just a young beauty caught in transition and restart.

I have to call her. He wasn’t sure she knew the world of photo awards. And she doesn’t know she’s part of it now. There was a certain amount of shame in that thought. She had chosen him to be her main photographer, but he hadn’t even told her about the photo he sent in for a competition. Because this photo is private. I caught something I shouldn’t have seen in the first place.

Calling her would reach a mere one floor away in the hotel they shared. Calling her would reach a world and a life away. Calling her would reach all the way to the man she once shared that world with, and Dai wondered if he had any right to do so. Then, did he have the right not to? Damn, how did it get this messy? He knew she hadn’t let go of her feelings for the man who, just like herself, got caught in a new world eerily like the one they left behind.

But it was too late now. In a much smaller universe than the one belonging to models and fashion that photo spread and created an uproar. In difference from Kuritina’s current universe this one was global. Dai had already received reactions from Europe, and while most of them concerned his prize winning entry quite a few wanted to know more about the girl in the picture.

She’s got a new boyfriend now, and if he sees this he’ll know. With a sigh Dai decided he couldn’t avoid it. He had to make that call.

Grabbing a beer from the minibar Dai contemplated when would be the best time to make that call, but in the end he realised he was just procrastinating. Another sigh later he punched up her contact on his phone and waited.

His third sigh was one of relief. She was busy with another call, but Dai accepted that he couldn’t postpone it for much longer. In anticipation of Kuritina finishing her phone call Dai fired up a web browser with all the relevant sites side by side, stacked the booklets with his prizewinning entry and emptied his beer.

The next call went through.

“Kuritina, we should meet,” he said after she answered.

“Now?”

“Yes, now. Would the lobby work for you?”

There was a moment’s hesitation. “Sure. I’ll be there in five.”

Dai was already prepared, so he left his room and took a lift down to the entrance floor. This being a top rated hotel, in Kyoto to boot, they served a fabulous array of tea and traditional Japanese confectionery. While most people preferred their western counterparts Dai had taken a liking to the intensely sweet cakes. It had nothing to do with being conservative. He just liked the taste and how it contrasted with green tea.

Just as he received his order Kuritina left the lift, searched the lobby until she recognised him and approached. One look from her told him that she most definitely didn’t approve of his tastes. She had even less a reason than most since she was from Sweden. Westerners usually blinked and offered as polite as insincere a lie after they forced themselves to swallow a bite.

“Please have a seat!” Dai said and gestured towards the sofa on the other side of the table.

Kuritina said nothing, but she sat down opposite him. He waited for her to make eye contact with the staff and noted how she picked a cup of strong coffee and some nondescript snack to go with it.

“So, what’s up?” she asked when her order had arrived.

Dai said nothing. He just pushed the booklets to her side of the table and opened up his laptop. After a few seconds it made them company, the screen facing her.

“When?” was the only thing she said after she had studied the material for a few minutes.

He couldn’t tell if she frowned, or if she even cared. For being a model she was eerily expressionless whenever she was deep in thought.

“Last summer. Odaiba,” he explained.

She looked up at the ceiling. “In the sportswear place?”

Dai nodded. “I cut away almost a third of the photo.”

“Contractual problems?”

He shook his head. “No, I got permission.” He bit his lower lip. “I forgot to ask you though.”

She shrugged and took a sip of hastily cooling coffee. “I don’t really mind. See any problems coming from this?”

Dai frowned while he mulled over that question. Problems from a business point of view? No, more like opportunities. “No, not for you as a model,” he said. “You might be contacted from abroad, so it’s mostly a matter if Vogue wants you to broaden your repertoire or not.”

Kuritina shrugged. “It’s not like shoots in the US or Europe is anything new for me.” Then she grinned, a beautifully malicious grin. “I’d be happy to be contacted. Make certain they contact me as well as Vogue.”

“How so?”

Kuritina emptied her coffee and let the last of her snacks accompany it. “I love to change the power balance. Europe is the real world for a model.”

She said Europe, but Dai knew she meant Paris. Paris was the Rome of the fashion world – all roads led there. He nodded. “I’ll do so.” He hesitated for a moment, but there was a second question that couldn’t go unasked. “Privately, what’s your feelings on this?”

He got a searching stare in return. “Privately? Privately I never knew I looked like that. I’m amazed Ryu stayed by my side.”

So she hadn’t been entirely happy after all. The worst part was that she was more unhappy with herself losing control than him saving that moment for the world. He had, Dai thought, done her both a service and a disservice.