The night I got home was more terrifying than the previous one. The creature came for me again not long after my head hit the pillow. I felt like I had barely closed my eyes when the world stilled, and my room grew quiet. I couldn’t even hear the movie the boys were playing next door.

Then it rose from the foot of my bed like a deep-sea creature from the depths. Its putrid stench rose with it. my room filled with the noxious fumes associated with the monstrosity and choked me.

Kill them.

No.

Kill them. Kill them. Kill them.

Go away!

Again, I was locked inside my body with no way to call out for Janice or make an escape. All I could do was watch as it bobbled around my room on its way to me. Its eyeless face turned this way and that like it was scoping out its surroundings.

Feed me.

No!

No choice.

This time the rasping in my head came in the form of a taunt. It knew I was helpless, and it knew no matter how much I mentally refused to let it violate my mind, that I had no choice in the matter.

I thought of Janice downstairs sleeping comfortably in her bed and wondered if she would even help me if I were able to expel the scream that was building in my throat.

Janice will send you away.

What? How do you know?

I know. Janice resents you.

You can’t know that.

But I do. She wishes she could start over.

A lot of people do.

But you have what she wants. She sees. She covets.

Shut up, you don’t know anything.

The monster lumbered its way around to the side of the bed I faced. Its gnarled tooth glinted in the light of the window above my bed.

I see things. I hear things. I feel things.

Congratulations. What’s your point?

I can tell you what I know about Janice…about Ray…about Kerrie.

No. I don’t want your lies.

No lies. Only truth.

My eyes watered as the rot from the creature’s gullet poured out into the room. Its wide-open mouth was a deep flat black that seemed to swallow light as easily as it could’ve swallowed my prone body.

The tentacle began the painfully slow journey into my ear. It wriggled and writhed through the air as the monster tried to get me to give in and listen to its ‘truths’.

Do you not want to know the truths they will not say?

No.

You are curious. I can tell.

Of course, I’m curious. That doesn’t mean I need to know, and it doesn’t mean I think you’d be telling the truth.

Why would I lie.

Because you’re a horrifying monster.

You made me, you gave me life. Why wouldn’t I help you?

Again, because you’re a horrifying monster…you know what? Just get it over with.

As you wish.

My muscles twitched as the tentacle of the creature delved deep into my ear canal. Again, the pain accompanied the feeling of small insects crawling in my head.

I watched as another tooth pushed its way through the dried gums of the monster’s mouth, opposite and slightly below the other one. It gnashed its teeth as it felt out the new growth.

How many teeth will it have when it’s done with me?

How much could I give this thing before I ended up in a facility or dead? There was so much room in the giant mouth that I didn’t know if I would have the fortitude to fill my monster’s mouth.

When it was done, I was left with pain and hopelessness. I felt like I willingly gave myself up whenever I laid down. My bed might as well have been a giant plate. It was disheartening to know I would drift off to sleep after stifling my screams so that no one in the house would hear me. God knows how long that would go on for.

The creature withdrew and the process seemed to take longer than the night before. Like it’d gone deeper than last night. My eyes watered, blurring my vision as the monster backed up, now out of my head and stepped back before it disappeared again, swallowed into nothingness.

I rolled onto my stomach as soon as I could, pressed my face into the pillow and screamed. It was all I could do—though I was sure that the monster was a fucking liar that just wanted to mess with me for funzies, I was worried about what it said about Janice. I wasn’t going to take the chance.

I woke up the next morning to the twins snuggled up to me on either side. I smiled at their big glossy eyes as they looked at me expectantly. They were too polite to wake me for breakfast.

I brushed Bruce’s slightly shaggier blonde hair out of his eyes and smiled at the eight-year-old.

“Your room stinks, Soph.”

“Thanks, kid. Yours isn’t too sweet either.”

“You better clean before Mommy comes up here.”

I sighed. I was getting chastised by an either-year-old for my cleaning habits. There was no way I was telling him why my room smelled. I’d be sleeping in a race car bed with the twins for the rest of my life if I did that.

“Hungry?”

Jayden popped up from behind me, his tiny chin poked into my arm as he leaned his head on my bicep.

“Yes!”

“Fine, fine. Let me up. You two get dressed and I’ll go get the cereal ready.”

“Yay!” Bruce rolled violently off the bed and thudded hard on the floor before he scrambled up to go get into his school clothes with Jayden hot on his heels.

I threw back the covers and slid off the bed. My world spun at the sudden change in elevation and orientation. I wasn’t a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, so it was hard for me to get going.

Maybe I’ll steal some of Janice’s coffee.

I grabbed my phone from where it was charging on my desk and noticed I had a new text from Kerrie as well as a belated goodnight text from Ray.

New Message from: Kerrie

Hey, can you get out today? I’m super bored.

I was suddenly grateful for Janice’s bout of kindness. Last time I brought the scrutiny of the neighbors down on her, I was on house arrest with no contact with no friends for a week.

This time, though the house arrest was still in effect, at least I was allowed a visitor.

Sent Message: Kerrie

Can’t get out, but you can come over.

New Message from: Kerrie

I’ll check. Give me a few.

Phone in hand, I went down to the kitchen after I checked to make sure the boys hadn’t gotten sidetracked by playing in their room. They had both picked out coordinated outfits. They thought being a twin was the best thing ever.

Once I was downstairs, I entered the kitchen to find Janice at the table. She was simultaneously putting on her makeup and drinking a homemade latte.

“Morning,” I greeted quietly trying my nest not to startle her with my entrance.

“Hey,” she responded with only a hint of her usual annoyance—but that could have been because she was concentrating on her eyeliner.

“I’m feeding the boys right now, but I was hoping it would be okay if Kerrie came over today. You said I could have someone over.”

“I know what I said,” she ‘hmphed’ and slammed the eyeliner down on the table. “You’d think after a few decades I’d be able to do a simple wing, for Christ sakes!”

“Do you want me to do it? I’m pretty good with eyeliner.” I offered as I pulled two plastic bowls down from the cabinet.

There was a pause. I usually offered to help Janice with the boys, but I was usually too scared to ask her if she needed help with anything herself.

“…Could you? I have a meeting today. There might be a promotion involved, and I want to look as put together as possible.”

“Sure, just let me get these done and I’ll be right there.” I poured two bowls of Fruity Pebbles into the twin’s favorite bowls and set them on the breakfast bar. After I put some milk in both, I wound my way around the counter to Janice.

She looked as unsure as I felt. I did my best to keep a pleasantly calm façade as I grabbed the brush pen eyeliner, shook it and uncapped it.

“Now, face me, tilt up, and I’m going to have to touch your face, okay?”

“Sure,” Janice did as she was told and moved her knees closer to me. She tilted her head back so I could get a better look at her round eyes.

“How big of a wing?”

“Not too big, please.”

“Gotcha,” I smiled and pulled softly at the skin by her eye to get a smooth canvas. I don’t envy makeup artists. Putting makeup on anyone, especially Janice made me queasy.

Janice sat well enough, though, and the first eye after I stamped out the shape with the side of the pen went smoothly. All I had to do now was mirror the size on the other side.

Between eyes, Janice grabbed the little standing mirror she had for her makeup and looked at what I had done. My breath caught in my throat as I waited. I hoped she wouldn’t find something to complain about and blame me for ruining her face.

For once, she smiled. A full-on toothy smile that I hadn’t seen since before Bruce Sr. had left. She looked back up at me, smile still in place and gave me a small nod of thanks.

“Is it okay?”

“It’s perfect. Thanks for the help, kiddo.”

“Anytime—now let me get the other eye.”

Somehow, I managed to get the other wing without too much trouble, even though the boys were a mild distraction. The lines were crisp, and the points of the wings were just at the right angle to lift the look of her eyes. Janice seemed more awake, and though she hadn’t done mascara or lips, yet, she seemed put together.

“Sweet! I like wings on you, Janice!”

“Thanks, kid. For the help with this, and the boys—you’re doing your part.”

“I like it here, I don’t want to be a burden.”

“I know most of the time, I don’t act like it, but I do appreciate having you around, Sophia. Things are just hard, and I can’t always separate stuff, you know?”

“I understand. I know I probably came here at a bad time, but between the two of us the basics are covered. The boys are doing great. I just wish we didn’t fight as much. We make a good team.” I fidgeted with the closed liner pen and stared at the collection of cosmetics on the table.

The last time I had this much of a heart-to-heart with Janice was when I first arrived. Then things went South and neither of us seemed up for talking.

“That’s mostly my fault,” Janice admitted. “I know you’re doing your best. You’re just a kid and I need to cut you some slack. I can’t expect you to be an adult at sixteen.”

“Can we do this more often…you know…just talk?”

“Sure, I think I can manage that.”

“Cool,” I grinned at Janice who gave me a wink and turned back to her mirror. I was starting to see a bit of the old Janice and it gave me hope that I wouldn’t have to worry so much about getting re-homed again.

I headed over to the coffee pot and grabbed one of the mugs off the counter. Today coffee was a necessity. Though Janice would soon have to take the twins to the bus, I had other things to take care of. Mostly I had to make sure my room didn’t smell like a landfill, but I also wanted to do some cleaning up so that Janice had less to worry about.

My phone buzzed on the counter as I took a long pull from the cup of black liquid. I picked up my phone and read:

New Message from: Kerrie

Mom said she’ll drop me off. On our way, now.

I grinned and set my phone back down. Today was going to be great. The only way it could be better would be if Ray could join—or better yet, if we could go to Ray’s.

I wasn’t going to push for that, though. A leaf had turned in my relationship with Janice and I wanted things to stay good for as long as possible.

“Hey, Janice? Kerrie’s mom is dropping her off.”

“Okay, just don’t eat everything in the house. I won’t have time to shop until my day off.”

“No problem.”

The boys loudly slurped the rest of the milk from their bowls before they let the plastic clatter onto the granite countertop.

“I take it you two are done?”

“Yup!” The boys replied in unison as they giggled.

Janice rose from the table and slipped her heels on. The thin pin-striping of her blazer elongated her already slender frame. She looked nice today and you could tell she was feeling it. her hair was all in place, along with a tiny smile.

“Ready, babies?” She walked up behind the twins and placed a light hand on both their heads.

“Yes, Mommy!”

“Let’s get going, then,” she headed off to the door without another word or a goodbye to me. that was fine. At least she was in a good mood and we had started the day off without a fight.

“Bye, Sophie!” The boys called out as the sound of squeaking sneakers faded. I responded with my own farewell to the three of them as I went to the table to finish my coffee.

As I drank, I remembered the creature’s words about Janice and how it said she resented me and what I had.

I knew it was lying.

My head shook as I took another long drink. Of course, it lied. It dealt in fear and horrible feelings, why wouldn’t it try and pull on the strings for a bit and get a better meal.

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what it had to say about everyone else. It said it had insider knowledge on Ray and Kerrie as well. A small part of me thought it might be fun to hear what it had to say just to see how wrong it was. That was probably a bad idea, though.

The doorbell rang about ten minutes later. I was still contemplating my life in the blackness of my half-drunk coffee when the chimes went off.

I got to the door a few moments later, my hands still in my hair trying to brush out the knots. It didn’t work as well as I’d hoped.

The door opened to Kerrie and Birdie. The downturn of Kerrie’s mouth showed she wasn’t for having Birdie looming over her. I could barely see a few straggling reporters over Birdie’s shoulder. They called out for Kerrie and I to come and talk.

“Remember what I said, Kerrie Anne,” Birdie’s hushed whisper was hard to hear over the din behind her.

“I know, don’t talk to the reporters,” she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, Mrs. Jeffers,” I gave Birdie a bright smile. “Janice has a ‘no reporters’ rule, too. We’re just going to hang out inside for the day.”

“Good, good,” Birdie returned the smile though hers was harried. She practically shoved Kerrie past the threshold and into the house. “We have a lot to do at the church today, so I’ll be back just a bit before dinner, okay?”

“Fine, mom,” Kerrie kicked off her shoes and put them into the rack next to mine.

Birdie gave the two of us a long look before she left. Her expression was odd, and I couldn’t quite place it. As soon as I shut the door I turned to Kerrie and pointed over my shoulder.

“What was that look?”

“She’s worried that we’re alone together because I happen to be partial to vagina.” Kerrie laughed, but it was harsh and hollow.

“She knows I’m not, right?”

“That’s what I told her,” Kerrie shrugged. “But I don’t think she really puts too much stock into what I say, anymore. Not since she found out about Alys.”

I started up the stairs, the smooth wood of the banister gliding along my skin as I ran my hand over it.

“Well not to be a dick, but you did hide a relationship from your mom. Gay one or not, she’s going to be a bit bitter. I think she’s used to you telling her everything.”

“Yeah, but I mean…she’s not really a safe place to land when it comes to boys or girls.”

“I know, I know. It just meant I can see why she’s not completely trusting.”

“Traitor,” Kerrie chuckled.

“You know it,” I kept myself a few steps ahead of Kerrie. I needed to get to my room before she did and start the long process of freshening up.

I had a can of Fabreeze in my possession from Janice’s back stock of cleaning supplies. I knew that Fabreeze was good for earthly odors, but I my hope was that it would work on the one the monster left behind.

I should have done this while I was waiting for her to show up.

The smell had dissipated somewhat when I reentered my room. I crinkled my nose and grabbed the can of air freshener off the dresser near the door, held down the handle and began a slow walk around the room.

“What the fuck is that smell?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I sighed. At least Ray believed me. he smelled the stench both in the woods and later at his house. Kerrie had missed it completely and had no idea that I had even seen something in the woods or about my little visits I’d had.

It was best to keep her in the dark.

“If you say so,” she flopped on my bed and waited.

Half a can later, and my room smelled like flowers instead of death. I felt the need to write a review for the fucking product because it worked: gets rid of the smell of death and garbage.

“Sorry about that, I should have done that earlier. I swear I’m not a dirty fucking creep.”

“Well you are but that’s besides the point,” Kerrie laughed.

“Fuck off bitch,” I chortled and opened my closet so I could pick out what to wear for the day. I never cared about getting dressed in front of Kerrie, even after she came out as bisexual.

“So how’d it go at Ray’s place?” The lilt in her voice left no illusions to what she was really asking.

“It didn’t.”

“What was it this time?”

“Besides finding Matty? Frank said ‘no fucking’.”

“So?”

“So, I just found my friend’s body and I was more scared of Frank than I was horny.” I browsed my collection of shirts and couldn’t think of a damn thing to wear. Nothing jumped out at me. The closet door rumbled along its tracks as I shut it briefly to look at Kerrie with a frown.

“Fair…did he try?”

I paused and grinned as I rolled her reflection away to keep on the search for a shirt. “He got worked up, but that’s nothing new. I asked him to stop and he did.”

“You’re zero fun.”

“I’m not easy—there’s a difference.” I grabbed a soft green work shirt and a white t-shirt. Kerrie’s reflection came back into view with her disapproving expression blinking back at me.

“You gotta give it up sometime, kid. It’s been what—a year?”

I turned slowly and gawked at her.

“You can’t tell me you’re one of those people that puts a time limit on sex.”

“I’m not, I’m just saying that as patient as Ray is, eventually those blue balls’ll turn purple and fall off. Or, he’ll find someone ready and willing.”

“He would not,” I stressed the last word, appalled by Kerrie’s prediction of my relationship. “You’ve known ray for forever—you know he wouldn’t do that.”

“I knew Ray as a kid. I’m still unsure of Ray as a sixteen-year-old. Boys are horn dogs. You can’t expect him to be a monk forever.”

“Monks don’t crank it on a daily basis,” I scoffed. My feet sunk into the shag carpet by my dresser. I needed a bra and I wanted to put some space between Kerrie and I, so I didn’t snap and lunge at her.”

“That you know of. Look, I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer. I’m just saying you gotta throw a dog a bone…or let him throw you his, whatever.”

“Gross, Kare,” my knuckles knocked into the wood of my dresser as I shuddered at Kerrie’s off-color commentary. Did she have to try and live up to being the stereotypical sex-crazed Reverend’s daughter?”

“Do what’s best for you in the end, of course. Just think on it.”

“I just want it to be good, you know?”

Kerrie laughed. I could hear the soft ‘whump’ of her head as it hit a pillow. “It won’t be.”

“How do you know?”

“Because Hollywood makes money off lies. So that and experience tells me it’ll be a sticky, fumbling mess.”

“I love the optimism.” I stripped off my night shirt and swung my bra around me so I could latch the hooks in front of me.

“Well, accept the realism, because that’s all you’re getting from me. don’t think just because he spooges into a sock daily that he’ll be able to hold his load inside you. It’ll probably be fast, painful…and it’ll be awkward.”

“Great motivational speech, Jeffers. Now I really want to do it.” I finished up the last hook and inched my bra around my ribs to pull the straps up over my arms.

I was less sure about having sex with Ray than ever. I wasn’t a fan of pain, and I didn’t want my first time to be awkward. I didn’t want a bed of roses, I just didn’t want to accidently do something wrong and look stupid.

“This’ll sound really bad but…just get it out of the way.”

“You’re right. That’s horrendous.”

After I pulled the straps up and I settled each boob into its respective home, I turned to Kerrie, frown on my face and glared.

“The whole idea really freaked me out before this, and this conversation isn’t helping any.” I huffed and pulled my t-shirt on.

“Why?”

“Because I’ll be naked, and to be completely honest, you’ve seen more of my body than anyone else has. I’m not a hundred percent comfortable with that either—but the idea of Ray seeing me naked just…” I shuddered.

“Dude, your body is rad,” I caught Kerrie as she gave me a thumbs up as I looked up from settling the hem of my shirt around my waist.

“I look like a prepubescent boy.”

There wasn’t a hell of a lot of truth to that, but that’s honestly how I felt. I saw girls all over Green Glen rocking more than a good handful and here I was still barely needing a training bra.

“You have the body of a dancer. Own it.”

“I know dancers that were blessed with actual boobs.” My hands moved in front of my small chest and mimed them getting bigger.

“Who cares how big your chesticles are? Ray’ll just be happy to see them—I don’t think he’s going to care if they’re not humongous.”

“Easy for you to say—you have boobs.” I crossed the small space and sat at the foot of the bed to face Kerrie who was stretched out opposite me.

I reached over and grabbed my favorite pillow to pull it onto my lap. It was a small comfort to hold onto the pillow, but what I really wanted was Ray.

“Dude, seriously, now—big boobs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Your back hurts all the time, and I don’t think anyone has ever looked me directly in the eyes in about three years.

“Oh—and the boob sweat is a bitch!” Kerrie lifted her chest for emphasis and though it was still chilly out, I could see a small line of perspiration on the material of her shirt.

“Okay, okay. I get it. I just don’t feel sexy, you know? I feel like that’ll show. If I don’t like the way I look, why should he?” I squeeze the pillow as the corners of my mouth droop downward.

“Again, he’s a sixteen-year-old boy. Trust me, as long as the boobs aren’t attached to a dude, I don’t think he’ll care.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” Kerrie smiled and closed her eyes. “Just don’t plan it. if it happens, let it happen. Just be prepared.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Fuck you.”

“No thanks, I laughed.

It was great to hang out with Kerrie again. I missed her blunt advice, and just being able to rip on each other without having to include the boys.

A wave of regret flowed over me as I thought about our fight the other night in the woods and how hurt she had sounded that I hadn’t returned her calls. I really had been a shitty friend.

“Hey, Kerrie? About the other night…” She peeked an eye open and I noticed that her gaze was harder than usual. She had to still be a bit pissed at me, though it wasn’t enough to prevail over our usual shenanigans.

“What?”

“I’m really, really sorry I was an asshole. No excuses, this time. I should’ve been there, and I wasn’t. I won’t ever abandon you like that again.”

Kerrie closed her eyes and I could hear the intake of air as she inhaled. I could tell my apology, though sincere, had brought up rancid feelings. Her hands balled into fists on my comforter for a second before they relaxed again.

“It’s fine. Let’s just not talk about it, anymore,” she ground out. “I appreciate the apology, it’s still fresh, though.”

“Gotcha,” I reached out and patted her shin. I didn’t think going in for a hug was a good idea. She still looked tense.

“Anyway,” Kerrie pulled herself up to sit and pulled her phone out from her pocket. She looked down at the small screen and smirked. “The boys are bored.”

“Sucks to be them,” I looked over at my own phone on my desk and saw it vibrate as a text came in. “I’m only allowed to have you over. I’m still on house arrest until I go back to school.”

“When is that, anyway? Mom still hasn’t told me anything about when I can go back to the general population.”

“Probably Friday. I need to collect my homework and get caught up. Janice wants me to stick to school and home as much as possible.” I lunged a leg out and off the bed so I could cross the space to my desk without having to fully get up. I wrapped my fingers around the cool plastic of my phone and hopped my leg back, so I was sitting again.

“Janice still hates Ray?” I could practically hear Kerrie’s eyes roll.

“I don’t think she hates him, but she doesn’t see him as a necessary time investment…or dance for that matter. Basically, anything fun is a no-go.”

“Right, well, that’s Janice.” Kerrie’s fingers tapped away on the number pad of her phone erratically as she sent out a text.

I checked my own phone’s message:

New Message from: Ray

Hey, babe. You busy today? Sam and I are bored.

I made a face at my phone and dropped it on the bed. He knew I was on lockdown and that Kerrie was my only allowed visitor. I was slightly annoyed he would even tempt me with the idea of hanging out when he knew I damn well couldn’t.

I picked up my phone and typed a response. The small click of my keys came hard and fast. I wasn’t fucking around with my response. It was bad enough I couldn’t escape the house, or see him. Him trying to get me to break the rules with how cool Janice was being was torture.

Sent Message: Ray

Babe, I can’t. you know Janice said I’m on house arrest. Anyway, Kerrie’s here already.

I dropped my phone again and felt eyes on me. I looked up to see Kerrie grin as she saw I was off my phone.

“Ray?”

I nodded.

“Samuel?”

She nodded back.

“It’s kind of sad that they can’t entertain themselves.” Kerrie laughed. “I mean, it’s kinda cute on one hand, but on the other just pitiful.”

“I think Samuel likes you,” I grinned. It was obvious there was something there. Kerrie was one of the only girls at school who hadn’t fallen victim to Samuel’s serial kiss list. At least not to my knowledge.

In fact, she usually treated him like an annoyance. I mean, he ripped on her more than anyone else, but I always thought that meant Samuel had taken a liking to her. kind of the third grade ‘if-you-like-someone-pick-on-them’ thing.

Then there were the times that the childish nature of his went away and he looked at her wish some sort of reverence. It was strange and I could never figure it out.

“Samuel only thinks he likes me,” Kerrie drawled. “I don’t think he’s capable of actual feeling.”

“I don’t know. He seems kind of keen on being on your good side,” I shrugged. “You don’t see Samuel texting me to see what I’m doing on a regular basis.”

“That’s because Samuel isn’t trying to hit it again,” her voice was small, like she hoped I wouldn’t hear her from a couple feet away.

“What?” My attention snapped to her face and I saw it: a look of self-disapproval that was almost heartbreaking. She drew her knees to her chest, and latched her arms around them. She couldn’t or wouldn’t look at me.

“Oh honey, you didn’t.”

Silence and a fleeting moment of eye contact revealed so much shame that I was the one to look away first.

“When did this happen? How did I not know about this?”

“You weren’t really talking to me at the time,” she mumbled.

“So, you let Samuel stick it in you?” I gasped.

“It wasn’t like that…it was, well…I’m not quite sure what it was.” She fidgeted with her hands as she spoke, and I could tell she felt awkward about it. it wouldn’t be cool of me to make her feel worse about the situation, so I opted for the only other thing that came to mind:

“How was it?”

“I dunno…it was my first time. Pretty sure it wasn’t his, but I didn’t ask. It was okay I guess.”

“Did you…?”

“Yeah, he made sure I did, but it was just…it’s Samuel, ya know? He’s the town’s man-slut. He’s ray’s best friend. I’ve known him since we were in grade school, it was just…weird.”

“Oh,” I looked down at my phone as it vibrated against my shin. I didn’t quite know how to respond to that. I couldn’t imagine having sex with anyone I wasn’t in love with. Kerrie was always the more exuberant ‘try-anything-once’ kind of person. Because of that I didn’t find it out of character for her to have random sex, I just didn’t think it’d be with one of our close friends.

“Now he keeps texting me and checking all the time to see what I’m doing, like it’s any of his business.” I looked back up to find her face screwed up like Doonan’s. “Like, no, dude. You don’t have any business being where you’re not needed.”

“I knew something was up with how much he has been picking on you, but the last thing I thought was sex.”

“You and me both. It just…we were hanging out at his place, and Hattie was out and it just happened.”

“Maybe he wants it to happen again.?”

“Oh he does. I know that much. But it’s not. I was upset over Alys, and he was there, and I don’t think he realizes it, but I totally used him and I feel bad for it.” Kerrie sniffed and I could see her eyes had gone glassy.

I scooted closer so I was sitting next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, ignoring the vibration of my phone. Ray could wait.

“What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t think of how my needs would affect him,” Kerrie’s hair flopped down as she hung her head and spoke into her lap. “I think he’s attached now, like in a different way than just being friends.”

“And you’re not?”

“I don’t know. I’m so confused. I don’t want a relationship, and I know he’s not really a relationship guy—so where the fuck do we go from here?”

“Good question,” I sighed and rubbed her back. “I think you two need to talk.”

“Ugh,” Kerrie dropped her phone onto the bed and swung her head to look at me. “That sounds awful.”

“It’ll help, though,” I persisted knowing that she was ready to cave. “You have enough conflict with your parents, you need to iron things out with Samuel. Maybe then you’ll have an extra ear when you need one.”

“True,” the corners of her lips turned up into a soft smile. “It’d be interesting ot see him actually being a caring person.”

“He’s capable…I think he’s just guarded.”

“They’re still texting,” the up-turn in her voice clearly stated that she wanted to get the conversation out of the way as soon as possible.

“You can go meet up if you want, but I’m going to stay here. I don’t want to get into it with Janice.”

“You sure?” She hopped off the bed and stood there, phone in hand. I knew in her head she was already out the door and I didn’t want to guilt her into staying because I was on lockdown.

“Yeah, it’s fine—”

“I mean, I could stay. I did just get her a little bit ago…”

“I don’t want you to be weird all day. This is a big deal, and I want you to be okay more than I want company.”

Kerrie’s expression melted into a loving smile. She lunged at me and knocked me back into the pillows. I hit my head on the bedside table pretty hard due to the impact and squealed in pain.

“Sorry!” Kerrie mumbled from right below my chin. Air was becoming hard to get with how hard she was squeezing me, and soon I was gasping.

“Air—” I wheezed and she let go to push herself off me.

“You’re the best, Soph, I swear.” Kerrie grinned and began typing a text, no doubt to tell Samuel she was free to meet up. I hoped things would go well and she wouldn’t shoot herself in the foot by being unintentionally bitchy.

“I know, I know,” I waved her off with one hand and rubbed the back of my head with the other. Waves of pain radiated through my head and now I had a minor headache.

Kerrie sprinted out the door and down the stairs. She was so loud I was glad Janice wasn’t home to yell at us for impersonating elephants. A moment later the door closed, and she was gone.

“Fuck,” I frowned. I didn’t want to be home alone.

I finally sat back up and lurched to grab my phone from the end of the bed. I had four new texts from Ray. Each one begged me to come over. The last one was the hardest to read:

New Message from: Ray

Same left to meet Kerrie. Sure you don’t want company?

Crap in a hat.

I didn’t want anymore temptation to break the rules. Janice’s house felt cold when the boys weren’t home and now, I was being stalked by a pale creature that could appear at will. I was less apt to want to be here by myself.

Plus, reporters. There was no way anyone was getting in or out of here without being seen, and I wouldn’t put it past Janice to use them as a means to figure out if I had followed the rules.

I typed a quick reply:

Message Sent: Ray

Can’t. Janice would kill me. I’ll see you when I can.